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How to Love

Rebecca Shern, Joshua Fields Millburn

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Join Rebecca Shern and her husband, Joshua Fields Millburn from The Minimalists, for the most honest conversations you'll hear about unconventional relationships, sex, and parenting.
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the boundaries of their "monogamish" relationship, the primacy of honesty, why the obligation can kill chemisty, balancing novelty with security, and the openhearted negotiation of interests without giving ultimatums. Listen to the rest of episode 46 at patreon.com/howtolove.…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss why they won't be living under the same roof full-time despite recently purchasing a home together, why they both cherish their alone time, and how they anticipate navigating their introverted needs with their daughter being in California during the school year. Listen to the rest of e…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the simple foods they eat most frequently, how humans have made eating unnecessarily complex, midset shifts to avoid boredom even when on a highly restrictive diet, seeking deep nourishment, and JFM's framework of "will I be glad I ate this tomorrow?" Listen to the rest of episode 33 a…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss ending a relationship mindfully, the downside of compassion in a divorce, graduating from past relationships, and the inevitability of conflict in corrosive relationships, and they introduce the concept of "emotional bricks." Listen to the rest of episode 32 at patreon.com/howtolove.…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss why they prefer to spend very little time with other people, how they prioritize showing up for others as "the best version of themselves," the best time to discuss expectations, and when to distance yourself from someone; plus Bex talks about being a "hot house plant." Listen to the r…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss embracing physical distance to increase attraction, how close proximity decreases physical interest, why redefining sex can drive sexual tension, and their willingness to renegotiate norms and routines around sex. Listen to the rest of episode 28 at patreon.com/howtolove.…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss finding enjoyment during sex even when you're stuck in your head; the empowering and disempowering stories we tell ourselves about sex, self-esteem, and relationships; and exploring non-traditional solutions to sexual incompatibility. Listen to the rest of episode 24 at patreon.com/how…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about viewing sex as a way to bring pleasure to your partner even when you don't desire it yourself, removing expectations and entitlement around sex, approaching sex with a playful attitude, and options for when you and your partner have fundamentally different sexual needs. Listen to th…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about how being a new parent inevitably changes other relationships, why expectations are tied to being offended, having too much of a good thing, asking for space, and approaching difficult conversations with an open heart. Listen to the rest of episode 14 at patreon.com/howtolove.…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the Myer's Briggs personality assessment and its limitations, introversion and extroversion in relationships, future-focused people, present-focused people, parental compersion, and being "deep happy" instead of "shallow happy." Listen to the rest of episode 13 at patreon.com/howtolove…
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In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss being in love, being loving, seeing things as they are instead of how we wish they were, how chemistry can get muddled by hormonal birth control, and how love is never defective, controlling, or conditional. Listen to the rest of episode 11 at patreon.com/howtolove.…
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