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Rhoda Sommer on Relationships public
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Best Rhoda Sommer on Relationships podcasts we could find (updated February 2020)
Best Rhoda Sommer on Relationships podcasts we could find
Updated February 2020
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Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced. Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net
 
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show series
 
Marriage is work because it’s a very tricky business for a marriage to get things right for BOTH people. That’s why marriage is hard work. The movie A Marriage Story gets a lot of things right. You watch how both Charlie & Nicole have responsibility for the demise of the marriage. Charlie is someone who takes up most of the space & Nicole allows it…
 
Safety is a way we lie to ourselves about what will work to have a better life & better relationships. We clutch at believing it is safer to avoid talking about problems with our partners. Choices made for safety are always choices made out of fear. Safety is about the false comfort that false beliefs offer.…
 
Babies arriving home, don’t have to erase relationships. We all love babies, they are so great and they're so wonderful. They're also tiny bloodsuckers that demand enormous time and energy from parents. My guest today is Joni Parthemer who is going to share her ideas of how to prevent the parents' relationship from disappearing.…
 
Addiction recovery is too often only focused on the individual. There is an 8 year study that confirms greater recovery success when the relationship is intact & strong. The relationship needs to grow & do the opposite of Claudia Black's active addiction pattern "Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel". Couples can learn to practice expressing thought…
 
Disappointment can be dangerous to relationships. We, as human beings can be very irrational when it comes to disappointment. We nurse our disappointments & they grow to take up too much real estate inside of us. Feelings are important to know who you are & how you are unique. Feelings are also often exaggerated & most often selfish. Learning to ba…
 
Communication can be almost impossible with a partner if we only want to steer the story in our favor. Communication requires an openness to the validity of someone else’s story even if you don’t like it. Communication gets unstuck & we can communicate better when you are able to let two opposite things be true at the same time and let them sit qui…
 
Anger can be a huge problem in relationships. This episode asks what's important about anger management for relationships? Anger can be incredibly self absorbed & ugly. It's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of "I'm right" & needing to win. We all want the power to control & be the Top Dog. So listen to this episode to learn how to reign it in. Int…
 
Infidelity is complicated & difficult to heal from. Dr Spring wrote the first book that defines infidelity as a loss of trust & a shattering of the self. The person who has been betrayed struggles to recapture their sense of themselves. The partner who had the affair needs to listen non-defensively, without interruption to the profound level of hur…
 
Date to learn more about yourself. Don't stay in the safety of passivity, watching who they are. Dates can be practice to grow. Think of "every intimate partnership as a classroom in which I can learn again and again about myself, about commitment, about integrity, about authenticity, forgiveness & about apology." Quote & Interview with Dr.Solomon…
 
Misery can so easily build in any relationship. Misery zaps your energy to think & it's easy to indulge your sad feelings. The two of you as a couple can fall to the bottom of your priority list. The misery usually spills over into bickering & fighting with each other because we don’t kick the neighbor’s dog, we kick each other.…
 
Learn how fights can be turned into recovery and intimate conversations. In your fighting there are clues to what you are really suffering from that you have not been able to confide in your partner. Interview with Dan Wile who says "The heart of a couple relationship is saying what you need to say & feeling that it has gotten across. It is having …
 
There are many lopsided relationships where one person is catered to & the other partner is what I call overly generous. Partners like to be the nice one but getting stuck in the niceness can evolve into a giant hidden pile of resentments. There is a price to be paid for too much kindness, you can lose track of who you are because you are so busy p…
 
Sexuality can be a complicated business, very different from how easy it is on television. Interview with Emily Nagoski the author of Come As You Are. Find out what to do about low desire. Most problems with orgasm occur because frustration does not add fuel to the accelerator. In fact, Frustration hits the brakes in sex. Learn here how to improve …
 
Love matters so much to people, how it goes wrong & how to put it right. Emotionally Focused Therapy is based on thousands of studies on human attachment, it basically gives us a way of understanding love. It's scary to reach for your partner and expose your softer feelings, because we're all scared of rejection and that's not because we're wimps o…
 
Codependency is a murky business. Codependency is always a part of the beginnings of every love affair. The beginnings are so enchanting for all of us. Your partner can do no wrong, they are absolutely brilliant. Codependency is a part of love & yet it can swallow love whole & make it disappear. Emotional dependency can be a healthy activity & a pa…
 
Partnerships & Marriage really require a lot from both people. Partnership demands that both people share their points of view & that we must reshape our own personal reality to be more accurate. This is truly very hard work because part of being human is favoring our own point of view. Yet, deep inside we know a single narrative cannot contain any…
 
A Top Dog relationship means you participate in a hierarchy of power by either swallowing & ignoring your more authentic self or by enjoying the role of being manipulatively in charge with your demands being met. The narrative of every couple must be written by two people, not one to have authenticity.…
 
It’s so easy to start taking each other for granted. We develop habits of how we see each other & we make assumptions instead of being curious. When we don’t feel seen it’s really a big deal & we end up hungry. This definitely happens as the years pass & it’s your job to freshen things up. It is beyond foolish to imagine you will never be disappoin…
 
Couples stuck in ambivalence are secretly in love with maintaining the status quo. Not being wholehearted about either improvement or leaving, erases so many missed opportunities. Living with a constant level of unhappiness and resentments is like living with malaria. You can do the work to repair & restore vitality to your relationship. Listen for…
 
Power struggles in relationships are totally ordinary & daily. Things can work in a couple where power is somewhat lopsided, but it will be boring & predictable if one person has all the power to make decisions most of the time. Sharing power is a dance in the messiness that is worth it to reduce arguments & fighting.…
 
Too many relationships have an over developed sense of the critic, was pointed out in this interview with Dr. Joseph Melnick. It’s easy to blame & tell people what they’re doing wrong. Instead of telling each other about what’s wrong, we need to restore trust with a curiosity about each other. He describes what he calls “cardboard relationships” th…
 
Being insecure is something everybody struggles with. Insecurities are easily fed by fears when we believe we are misunderstood. Being insecure tests even the best of us. Insecurities can keep people trapped in emotionally masochistic relationships. Facing how we are unlovable can help us grow & change.…
 
We arrive in this world with very few skills to help us navigate relationships. It takes a few decades just to understand ourselves much less anybody else. I think long term loving requires that we give each other the benefit of the doubt. We all begin a bit too stingy & full of self interest.By Rhoda Sommer
 
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