Disclaimer: This book has some scandalous themes, we need an intern, 9-year-old Adam wants the dynamite, musicians love 17 year olds, Adam totally remembers Harper Neeley, Adam discovers his porn name, and we have a job for Bill Murray.By Leslie and Adam

YouTube really put a wrench in Adam's sound effects game, Adam doesn't like Anniston Alabama, the Toledo food test market is a dream, we find a Downton Abbey connection, Leslie invents a new line of greeting cards, Adam decides which Uncle Jesse he would be, big, bad peckers take Leslie off-guard, no one needs to go for hours and hours, and Adam co…

Leslie tries a new intro, we investigate the juice coke and pop loop, Leslie reveals her trick to tell left from right, Penn State is the soda pop divide, Adam misses Nan, Leslie tries to get into the book, and Adam still doesn't know who anyone is--not even Janice.By Leslie and Adam

Leslie's learning new Chilean slang, Adam's meeting invitation is NSFW, we have a clumsy character, we're still trying to figure out the year, we wander down the cousin path, clumsy girls and horses might not be the best idea, Linda Howard's writing strategy is revealed, and Russell Brand may or may not be too annoying for Leslie.…

We discuss the pros and cons of marrying a younger woman, Adam's sex ed lessons continue and he plans his marriage to a 32 year old, bustin' versus bursting cherries, we're still talking about this book, we have a thatch, we discover a new genre of romance, and Adam may start his writing career.By Leslie and Adam

A lot of hymen and 123 High Street talk and Adam is very confused as we talk about various sex things in the inaugural 3rd season episode.By Leslie and Adam

We have a very special guest who can answer all of Adam's questions about biology, we get some insights about another Nan Ryan book and discover some sexual similarities, we explore two possible titles for season 3, clit alerts on the first page are a good sign, Adam doesn't understand why women like what they like. We ponder the entire romance gen…

Adam's boing needs viagra, teenagers watch house hunters, we have a Pointer Sisters moment which segues into a depressing sidebar about the expansion of the Universe, Bella is really dumb in the book, Adam keeps trying to make "broi" happen, Mickey Mouse voice man is more tenacious than Adam, no one wants to see Adam's Yard-O-Beef, we share what to…

Trigger alert: if you suffer from misophonia, skip the first minute of this episode. We start off with a beet tangent, Leslie shares her vampire strategy, Bella teaches us what not to do with a puncture wound, shock overpowers what you know, we speculate about how vamps taste, we really miss Tony Scott, Adam makes a good point about the fire the va…

Adam continues the tradition of not being prepared, Leslie has a strategy to turn money into compost, Edward has to make a choice, Adam is still triggered by our anniversary dinner that caused him to throw up ramps. Adam has turned Leslie into one of his hill-or-holler folk, Bella's parents are seriously the worst, YA audiences have low expectation…

We continue the debate that has raged for decades: the culinary acceptability of cheddar cheese paired with marinara, James is finally impressing Adam with his skills, we debate if Scottsdale and Phoenix are really interchangeable. Leslie discloses her survival plans, Adam really shines during a crisis, when you focus on the good, you see more good…

Longest intro ever, we try to figure out how to end the twilight misery, the men are called to take care of business, Adam explains how this is a T1000 situation, we reminisce about how we procured our first kittens, Bella doesn't die--spoiler alert! We take it easy right into the discovery that Adam loves the Eagles.…

We get a peek inside one of Leslie's daily ridiculous phone calls with her family, Adam flips the script, one things is for sure, we delve into the big reasons that we are NOT keeping these kittens, Leslie raises everyone up a level. Adam shares a very sad tale about correcting a teacher, Edward has been a 7th wheel for almost a century, We go on a…

Adam gives Leslie yawning lessons, Adam was really into this scene, Leslie's mom made a mistake when she taught her about the birds and the bees which traumatized her neighbor. Charlie does a great job in this scene, flat screens were a splurge and a big deal in 2009, there is too much rubbing for Louis L'Amour's taste, Edward's lumping around agai…

We go deep into the early days of Adam and Leslie's relationship, Leslie makes a connection between a skinhead skater she knew and a ramrod, driving to Phoenix from Forks is not anything a 17 year-old should be allowed to do, Jules can't even order fries, James's motivation continues to be super weak. Adam shares a story about his ideal sick day at…

Adam can't get his boing right, Leslie was sun dumb, we go deep into our respective relationships with Fred Rogers, Jasper's character finally gets a moment to shine, we have a lot of issues with this baseball game and Bella's participation. Twenty years have passed since Marty's birthday party, we look up the details of the Lorena Bobbit incident,…

Adam reveals how a man thrives, eating oysters is like flipping a coin, David Dobrik gives Adam gang nightmares, vamps in goretex are giving away too much, we introduce the wonderful sounds of Krispy Kreme, Leslie is disappointed by the lasting power of Stargate, this yeah kay, Bud is not for Adam.By Leslie and Adam

Adam's innocent YouTube search starts some trouble, Leslie recounts a surprising story about a ripped crackhead, our ignorance about drugs is revealed, we talk about our favorite smells, Leslie attempts to explain how these episodes are decided, Leslie plans to make the best cameo in the film adaptation of her book. Charlie is not a great cop, Phil…

Adam's mustache ride experiences technical difficulties, Leslie's Apple Watch was targeted by Adobe, Adam suggests that the Cullens should have played a game of polite chicken, Adam gets a point for listening, case due is not the same as K. Stew. Adam proposes a theory about why Edward could leave his window open, we wonder how Edward makes semen, …

Leslie adds to her notes for divorce court, there's a chair on the roof, Pizza Hut was kind of the best in the 80s, Harry Clearwater makes some good fish fry, the Spanish Inquisition is not a good comparison to a parent asking their daughter questions. Adam's mustache adventures border on very un-PC, we wonder why Charlie never left Forks, we discu…

You make my dreams come true, Leslie hates music, Kelsey's mom was single-handedly responsible for New Coke, Leslie listened to waaay too many episodes of David Dobrik and Jason Nash's podcast, we give ourselves sponsors, Leslie's mom created a dance move called the digger. Adam continues to try to escape, we talk about hot cars in the 90s, the pod…

Our Hall and Oates tangent continues, Leslie tries to pinpoint why she's not 100% attracted to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, we learn about how to sneak into a guy's bedroom window, Adam's sheltered upbringing made him into a kind person, Leslie gets a point, Bella makes another bad clothing choice, we kind of learn the history of the Church of England, Ca…

We make a time bargain to keep this episode under 20 minutes, we get to know about the other vampires, we wonder why vampires think it's a good idea to go to high school, Adam gets nit picky about Leslie's paraphrasing and tries to stop her from talking about the book, we do some laundry, Adam fails his way to the top of sound effect usage.…

It is never a good idea to imitate Samuel T. Herring of Future Islands at the barber shop, Leslie pulls out a Louis Armstrong impression to impress, Adam continues to express how this book is really getting in the way of his good times, sometimes breath smells really good. Edward's split personality continues to confuse, we announce a new podcast, …

We get a bad phone call, Adam continues to beg for reviews, the Pepsi challenge caused some tiffs, we plan to make a new soda, Adam makes another lucky guess, it turns out Adam hates a phrase, Edward goes rooting around in Bella's dirty laundry. There is too much sniffing and laying, Rhonda ruins the fantasy, Leslie was a perfect, precious angel wh…

Leslie has gone through phases of punctuality, Ki-Jana Carter ordered a cheesesteak from Leslie, Adam is nice not noice, Edward and Bella are out kinda like Adam and Leslie when they starting dating, we discover an opportunity the filmmakers missed. Camille would need a soaking tub of sunscreen if she lived in Arizona, Leslie's favorite extra plays…

Adam is a feminist, we go deep into the thickness of air, Leslie discovers how to survive the DC summer soup, Ol' Ben Kenobi never really earned Luke's love, Leslie drops some love knowledge, Adam confesses his elaborate plan to stalk Leslie if she ever leaves him. This chapter is dedicated to Edward avoiding insta-love, we meet Billy Black, there …

Adam still doesn't understand premature ejaculation, Adam keeps his search history clear, Leslie loses a point, Adam claims he can rip trees from the earth, Adam's experience with the Twilight universe intersects with Office Space, Gram's need for cash takes us on a shirtless adventure that ends with some great advice, fake flowers adorn the meadow…

Adam might get Leslie banned from working from home on Fridays, Adam's obsession with Total Eclipse of the Heart continues to annoy everyone, drinking out of the carton is narsty, the technology of making sandwiches on cutting boards changes lives. We wander off-track on a mononucleosis tangent that starts in Germany and ends at the drive-in, Lesli…

We have a visitor who doesn't stay long, this might be the worst scene in the movie, Adam still doesn't listen, Edward manhandles Bella for no good reason, Leslie could probably take Adam in a fight. We give a shout-out to our friend, you may know her her name is Laura, the yeah dawg effect is real, Adam does a crappy job of imagining dating an 18 …

Leslie "buds" Adam and no one likes it, Adam is really wanting some iTunes reviews, Leslie continues her quest to try to get Adam to understand the format of the podcast and fails, another episode of "Let's listen to Adam struggle to type," Edward followed the green dank line of Bella's scent, we start a new section of the podcast called "Boner Ale…

This is a long clip that starts with some dress shop discrepancies, Adam mansplains how lactation works, Leslie continues to have problems talking, Adam doesn't have a place to practice his driving stunts. Introducing "Daddy Edward," Bella sucks at having a cell phone, Adam learns about Rockabilly style, you memorize the square root of Pi, Adam pur…

We get ready for a long and important chapter, Bella's girls from Phoenix are missing in the book but she misses estrogen, nightmare A/V guy makes an appearance, Louis L'Amour strikes again, Adam continues his quest to keep people alive in the desert, Edward's furious voice causes a spill in aisle 4, Adam is late for a class, we play a terrible gam…

Adam takes his sfx game to the next level, but not in a good way, we go play by play at the threesome Waylon is imagining before he gets murdered, Adam uses his sound superpowers to learn us about ADR, we find a weird transition that might be a picture that Catherine Hardwick may have had developed at Walgreens and scanned in, Leslie is stuck in an…

We don't spoil Chinatown, no one is reading the book along with us and no one wants to be a guest on this show, dial up technology is really slow, Adam gets really excited about getting a point, clumsy girls probably shouldn't go for walks alone in the woods, Leslie's best hair days were in Las Vegas, Adam goes a little Philly by saying "two tree f…

Lexi Smelch takes over hosting for this episode, Adam better get his panties buckled, Adam fails to make a case about the beach being "crowded," Adam thinks two people surfing makes a crowded beach, Adam thinks Jacob is the best actor in the movie so far, we think about forming a band, "pale faces" is a terrible descriptor, we have no idea what thi…

Adam is in the market for some new sound effects, we briefly consider making the podcast Edie-friendly, Adam does not like Leslie's relationship with Bun-Bun, Suburbans are BFCs, Lauren's nastiness begins, Jacob joins the story in the book and is only fifteen, Adam's Michael Keaton Batman imitation is fabulous, Jacob tries to impress Bella, Bella i…

Adam grosses everyone out, there's a weird scene in this movie that has no purpose, we swoon over the deliciousness of Vermont water, you only have nine years to get stuff done, targeted ads are scary and useful, we go a little too deep into vampire poop, public schools do not have un-monitored salad bars, and we analyze the purpose of Edward's app…

We start off talking waaay too much about Florida, Leslie really screws up her Jesus impression, Adam is no match for Keanu, Leslie discovers a new way to make Adam listen better, we explore why a dangerous man is sexy, the movie left out an entire character, mean girl tropes are bad, and Bella plays matchmaker.…

We reveal the truth about Sadie Hawkins and it's worse than we thought, the movie really starts to diverge from the book, Mike Newton is full of fiber, we learn more about Adam's Footloose high school and his sad senior banquet, sometimes non-regional dialects are in the eye of the beholder, Adam is giving free advertising, Adam protected Leslie fr…

Adam doesn't know basic biology, we call on Dr. Dawn to weigh in, we unpack why women get excited over mystery and being ignored, Leslie was a weirdo trapped in a cheerleader body, Adam lists all of Leslie's friends by name, we go back in time to 19 years ago this week when Adam was wooing Leslie, we don't know who Sadie Hawkins is, we go on a Kara…

Lexi Smelch brings some things to our attention, the history of "good enough for government work," Leslie does some math to find out Forks' actual diversity, La Croy or La Quah, we explore Adam's genes and his hatred of his name, Moe Welch would not be married to Leslie, we get a peek inside the terrorscape of Leslie's imagination, Leslie points ou…

We have a special guest, this is one of Leslie's favorite chapters, Adam could easily stop a car with his obesity, Adam considered giving Paula Deen just the tip of his butter stick, we go deep into Mere's biggest regret from her modeling phase, Bella gets a spine, Adam shares his rapture freak out moments from his childhood, and we end on a Gratef…

Adam totally misinterprets what's in the little bottles that the Forks Santa gave away, the diversity in Forks comes into question, morbid obesity is all relative, Charlie goes for an early morning tire run, Bella is good at slipping on ice, being breathy is not good acting, Leslie is all about snuba when she's on the land, we discover a funny nuan…

Adam doesn't remember the Moonlight Gambler, Leslie slips into her Toledo accent too many times, we go deep into step-dad talk which ends uncomfortably, Adam gets a point, Italians and Brits name their kids Gerald, we find out what it sounds like when middle aged authors use pop culture quotes from their own teen years, there really is a Thriftway …

We start with a family howl, but Bunny isn't cooperating, Adam makes Leslie jumbly bumbly, Adam insists on showing Leslie pictures of old hockey players, we tell the story about the Amish phone scandal on the crystal hunting farm, Adam pimps our friend Jay's meat company, there are issues with clutch instructions from Jacob, another crazy story abo…

Adam describes eyelet lace and has issues with his keyboard, we delve into problems with Bella's "adultness," getting details on dads, Adam educates us on how they modify cop cars, everyone has an "old truck with a hole in the floor" experience, we get some diversity, more car talk, we negotiate the rules about ugly people in movies, Edward and his…

Leslie fails to keep Adam on task, we're already off to a horrible start, Madison from Sirius XM becomes Leslie's inspiration, Adam practices his Coors commercial voice, we get deeper into Leslie's DNA, black tea, problems with performance anxiety for season 2, and we finally figure out what the hell we're doing.…

Johnny and Nevada board the final boat of this boatey book, Adam is anxious to get to the details of the wedding and can't believe BJ Jones isn't coming back, Adam shares his dreams of an Andy Kaufman-esque performance art project, another love connection is solidified, we learn that sex is not limited to nighttime, Leslie gives Adam what he wants-…

Adam continues to fight the Quincy naming reality, Leslie confesses some things from her childhood, Adam tries to coin a new term, Johnny joins the high-stakes poker game on the John Hammer steamboat while Nevada is at the ballet, buttholes are back in town, Leslie impresses everyone with her extensive Star Wars and Star Trek knowledge, Adam is a n…