show episodes
 
Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual play podcast where three comedians use a roleplaying game to improvise hilariously bad VHS movies. The kind you'd find scavenging through the dumpster behind a Blockbuster Video. Hosts Patrick Baker (Regular Show), Brent Butler (Norm Macdonald Live), and Geoffrey Golden (Wet Hot American Summer RPG) produce cheesy movies on the fly with the help of some dice, a tabletop RPG, and starting in season 3: comedian guests stars. They play every role and narrat ...
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Blacklisted news, the news they don't tell you about and the news behind the news. Bible Prophecy, Bible Codes, and Current Events...did our ancient Biblical Patriarchs warn us of coming UFO and Alien invasions to earth? Martial Law? The New World Order? And why is America, the most dominant nation mentioned on the earth in the last days in the Bible, not being mentioned in the churches today? On this radio show I deal with the New Age Reptilian agenda aka the NWO taking over the earth and h ...
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show series
 
While we're in "post-pro" on our third season of Worst Movies Ever Played (coming soon!), here's a bonus made-for-TV style movie called Sunset House from the mid-80s horror anthology series Stories Related to and Generally Concerning the Graveyard. Percy, an encyclopedia salesman, and Kushy, a van-loving vagabond, are amateur supernatural investiga…
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In the thrilling conclusion of A Hot Night In CyberDallas, Ronnie Fax-Machine and Paramnesia face off against Major Lazer, a Jamaican cyborg killing machine that is, strangely enough, not musical in any way. At the table, Brent adds a dimension of sexy realism to the Cyberpunk genre by pondering the electrical and plumbing layouts of an office buil…
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In part two of A Hot Night In CyberDallas, Ronnie Fax-Machine and Paramnesia continue to work their way up the Texas Instruments tower, fighting back against the big calculator lobby with biblical holograms and plain old violence. At the table, Geoffrey and Brent finally figure out that they can search the bodies of enemies for clues. Patrick learn…
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In 2044, the megacorporation of Texas Instruments and its CEO, TJ MacCune, lords over all of CyberDallas. Ronnie Fax-Machine, a veteran of Texas Instruments’ human fax program, is on a quest to make the company resume tech support for human faxes. Paramnesia, a holo-priest, believes that Texas Instruments has killed God. Together, they team up to b…
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In the conclusion of Sex 84, Sam Droid has been apprehended and brought to the former lab of Tommy Funkhauser and Dr. Blazen. Tommy Funkhauser plans to use these sex robots as part of the secret government project, Readiness Exercise 1984. Dr. Blazen just wants hijinks, which totally ensue when Sam Droid escapes, giant marijuana plants attack, and …
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In Sex 84, Dr. Blazen, a genius scientist who loves smoking weed heads back to his former lab with his former boss, Tommy “Fun Times” Funkhauser, a man who loves wearing Hawaiian shirts. Meanwhile Sam Droid, a former sex robot, is searching for his lost sister, Anna. Did you ever wish Stephen Spielberg’s A.I. was more 420-friendly? Or that Red Shoe…
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In the thrilling conclusion of Water So Blue It’s Black, Tony, Slaps, and Gilda enter the mysterious, underwater alien cathedral that was guarded by krill ghosts. The wonders and dangers inside bring new meaning to the phrase “publish or perish” for these state university employees. At the table, Brent annoys Patrick with his wish list of underwate…
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In part two of Water So Blue It’s Black, Tony and Slaps try to steal a submarine to go find the missing crew that’s been lost somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. But first they have to get through FUFLBOT 9000, the robot who protects Sea Station 86. Bad news: He’s categorized them as hostile and is preparing to use “the hard stuff” on them. Good new…
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In Water So Blue It’s Black, it’s 2054, and a crew of marine biologists has gone missing from Sea Station 86, which sits deep below the Bermuda Triangle. Former boxer and sea-station manager Tony Danzers must team up with his intern, a prissy, entitled talking dolphin named Slaps, to find the missing crew. At the table, Patrick explains to Geoffrey…
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It's the conclusion of Space Squad, our final episode of the season. And okay, it turns out our heroes had it all wrong. Whoops. The furry monsters were the good guys, and Rex and Boba were flying around with the bad guys. Well, sh*t. At the table, Patrick leaves Brent no choice but to straight-up eat one of the main characters. Worst Movies Ever P…
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In Space Squad, a ship slowly floats onscreen. Somewhere below, a planet of small, hair-covered monsters waits in ambush. Our brave, spacefaring misfits are the only thing standing between them and the much-vaunted Bridge of Understanding. In this movie, which is in no way capitalizing on the success of other space movies, battles will rage, blood …
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It's the conclusion of Devil's Tramping Ground. In a fight for their very souls, high school science teacher Mr. Linnaeus, and high school bully Duncan Punchnugget, face off against a being who claims to be Satan. But can a man of science accept such a statement on blind faith? Will our bully accept that somewhere there is a bully even more bully t…
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In Devil's Tramping Ground, two members of the Pittsboro High Science Club are missing. With a pending detention hanging over his head, high school bully Duncan must find the missing students by teaming up to with the person you would least expect: his boring science teacher, Mr. Linnaeus! Anything can and will happen when this unlikely pair go sea…
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It's the conclusion of Stop or My Owl Will Shoot. The only thing worse than werewolves is werewolves who litter. Time to bring justice... owl justice. The second-half of the movie really ups the tree-hugger environmentalism, but not nearly as much as it ups the face-clawing violence. At the table, the RPG system is pushed to the limit when Brent mu…
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In Stop or My Owl Will Shoot, Hoot is only two feet tall, but this owl wasn't born yesterday. In fact, he used to be human until he was brutally mudered in these very woods. Now, with the help of a bumbling sheriff, a magical tree spirit, and a pistol in a plastic grocery bag, Hoot's on a mission to avenge his death... and also save the forest... a…
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It's the conclusion of Air Force Fun. With Soviet terrorists in control of the president's personal rail gun, Alan and Max are in a race against time. There's no time left to murder-talk their way out of this situation. A dangerous maneuver is their only chance, but it just might cost them their lives - and even worse, their sensitive guts. At the …
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In Air Force Fun, maritial artist and IBS spokesman Max Cruncher is in the fight of his life to save his best buddy, who also happens to be a sentient Air Force One. Using the power of White Karate and an endless supply of soothing anticid tablets, he has one kick-punch left to save America. At the table, Patrick punishes Geoffrey and Brent for "pa…
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The conclusion of Suburban Sorcery: Magic and Mufflers. Duct-taped to the bottom of a Ford Bronco, Trapper is about to learn the meaning of life after death. Shecky and Tails very sloooowly come to his aid. The big showdown between our heroes and the forces of darkness is at hand and it looks like the Bronco's 200 cubic-inch inline six wont be the …
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In Suburban Sorcery: Magic and Mufflers, Trapper Keefer, a fur trapper, and his talking beaver Tails team up with an impossibly likable (in that it's impossible to like him) car salesmen Shecky Stumper to fight the greatest scourge to ever curse these country roads: Satanist teens with learners permits! Our heroes will leave no petting zoo undestro…
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Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer. CREDITS: Your Director: Patrick Baker Shecky: Geoffrey Golden Trapper: Brent Butler Story Editor: Adam Baker Sound Design:…
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