Best Sticky Q S Podcasts (2024)

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Episode 46. “Anti-Trans and Anti-Drag Bills,” Or: “Who Would Jesus Dehumanize?” 1:11:40

8M ago1:11:40

1:11:40

This week Jess & Jack talk about all the kinds of anti-trans, anti-drag, and other anti-LGBTQ legislation being proposed (or passed) in legislatures across the United States. We talk about the impact of these bills on us and on other queer people and our communities, as well as why these bills are bad from both queer and Christian perspectives. Kee…

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Mini(Maxi)sode 24. “Catching Up,” Or: “Get In, Loser, We’re Going…Off-Script” 37:15

1y ago37:15

37:15

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation catching each other (and you) up on what we’ve been up to lately. Marriage! Jobs! Church stuff! Disabling illness! You know, the usual. Keep a lookout for more new episodes, as we return to a more regular posting schedule! And, as always, visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page…

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Episode 45. “Reconstruction,” Or: “If You Threw The Baby Out With The Bathwater, Maybe It’s Time To Get A New Baby” 1:02:23

1+ y ago1:02:23

1:02:23

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about reconstruction. After we tear down the religious structures of thought and action that oppressed us for years…what’s next? Do we build back better? Or do we salt the earth and move on? Jess opens up about mommy issues. We talk about what reconstruction has looked like for us, what we think reconstruct…

1
Mini(Maxi)sode 23. After Dark: “Purity Test Part II” Or: “Sometimes Success Looks Like Failing at the Right Things” 36:47

1+ y ago36:47

36:47

This week Jess & Jack finish taking an online purity test together and share anecdotes about our “less pure” moments, from run-ins with principals and police to public nudity, as well as plenty of sexual exploits, then share our scores. Who’s more “impure”? The answer may surprise you! Take the purity test along with us as at ricepuritytest.com whi…

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Mini(Maxi)sode 22. After Dark: “Purity Test Part I,” Or: “They Can’t Slut-Shame You If You Slut-Celebrate Yourself” 41:50

1+ y ago41:50

41:50

This week Jess & Jack take an online purity test together and share anecdotes about our “less pure” moments, from run-ins with principals and police to public nudity, as well as plenty of sexual exploits. On next week’s ep, Jess & Jack finish the test and compare scores. Who’s more “impure”? The answer may surprise you! Take the purity test along w…

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Episode 44. “Prayer,” Or: “Couldn’t This (Prayer) Meeting Have Been an Email?” 1:08:19

1+ y ago1:08:19

1:08:19

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about prayer. We talk about what it is (and isn’t), what we were taught about prayer growing up, what shame and personality types have to do with it, and what our relationships are to prayer now. Hit us up on our social medias to tell us what prayer means to you, how you pray (if you do), and how you would re…

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Mini(Maxi)sode 21. Q&A: “Labels Are My Second Favorite Sticky Stuff That Goes on My Chest” or “I’m Pan but I’m Still Not Into You” 43:31

1+ y ago43:31

43:31

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener question about gender and sexuality labels. We talk about the ways in which our labels have changed over time, the difficulty and importance of keeping up with new labels, as well as the tension between using widely-understood but not-quite-accurate labels vs. using more accurate but niche terms. Visit li…

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Minisode 20. Q&A: “Why Should I Care About Worship Music?” 20:53

2y ago20:53

20:53

This week’s Jess & Jack respond to a listener question that’s more of a co-host question: Jack asks Jess what good Christian music is to a queer Christian like themself who has left behind the evangelical contexts that introduced (or subjected) them to Christian worship, along with the music itself. Jess talks about their own worship music, recomme…

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Episode 43. “Getting Sick,” Or: “My Antibody, My Choice” 1:24:02

2y ago1:24:02

1:24:02

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about getting sick and, relatedly, explain our unintentional summer hiatus. We talk about our experiences getting COVID and battling virus-shaming. We also talk about monkeypox: what it is, how it seems to spread (and how it doesn’t), similarities with both COVID and HIV, and the harms of talking about it a…

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Mini(Maxi)sode 19. Q&A: “How to Become a Citizen of the United States of Chromatica” 58:57

2y ago58:57

58:57

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wonders if we’d live in an LGBTQ-only country if we could. We talk about the pros and cons, how dynamics of marginalization would change, the most queer form of government, and how the straight world would fall apart without us. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, Di…

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Episode 42. “Queer Prom,” Or: “Can You Believe the Genders We Wore Back Then? So Early 2000’s” 55:21

2y ago55:21

55:21

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about prom: our own prom experiences, whether we got lucky after, and what we wish had been different—from fashion to our gender expression and the number and gender of our dates. We also talk about the queer prom that Jack is planning with their church, All Saints Church in Pasadena, CA, on June 10th at 6:…

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Episode 41. “Time,” Or: “If Jesus Weren’t Queer, They’d Be Back By Now” 1:22:13

2y ago1:22:13

1:22:13

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about time. We talk about time travel: whether it’s possible and where/when we would go if we could. We also talk about the ways in which queer people relate to time differently from our cishet counterparts: the what and why of “Queer People Time,” as well as how milestone events in queer lives often occur …

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Mini(Maxi)sode 18. After Dark: “Queer Friend Break-Ups” 59:10

2y ago59:10

59:10

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about queer friend break-ups. We talk about how queer friendships often blur lines between friendship and romantic/sexual relationships, and how that complicates the ending of friendships among queer people, as well as how to navigate a friend break-up when everyone knows everyone else. We also talk about s…

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Episode 40. “Evangelism,” Or: “Jesus’ Pop Diva Fan Club Members Should’ve Been Called ‘Christ-Stans’” 1:19:12

2y ago1:19:12

1:19:12

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about evangelism. We talk about The Eyes of Tammy Faye, what we think of when we think of evangelists, and the ways our previous faith contexts used shame and fear to push evangelism strategies of emotional manipulation. We also talk about why our current faith contexts have no place for evangelism, why uni…

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Minisode 17. Q&A on “Getting Re-baptized After Transitioning” 44:53

2y ago44:53

44:53

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener question about what we think about trans people seeking to be re-baptized after transitioning. We talk about the meaning of baptism, how to weigh theological vs. pastoral concerns, as well as the ways that we are (and aren’t) the same people after transition. Jess & Jack have a spirited disagreement, even…

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Episode 39. “Faith,” Or: “What Do I Gotta Do To Sit On It?” 1:06:24

2y ago1:06:24

1:06:24

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about faith. We talk about what it is (and isn’t) and how our previous and current faith contexts talk about it, including whether it’s like sitting on a chair. We also talk about what it looks like for each of us to put our faith into action, from social justice and advocacy to therapy and partaking of the…

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Minisode 16. Q&A on “Who Should I Come Out to First?” 23:47

2y ago23:47

23:47

This week Jess & Jack respond to a queer listener who wants to know in what order it’s best to come out: friends, then family, or vice-versa. We talk about how there’s no one-size-fits-all order to coming out, the pros and cons of dipping a toe in the water vs. jumping in the deep end, and the family/friend social dynamics involved in coming out. W…

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Episode 38. “Cults,” Or: “Kool-Aid? I Think I’ll Stick to Vodka Crans, Thanks” 1:07:50

2y ago1:07:50

1:07:50

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about cults. We talk about what they are, how to spot them, and the differences between cults and other religious groups. We also talk about the ways the churches of our conservative Christian were very cult-like, as well as the ways that progressive faith spaces replicate the same cult-like qualities of th…

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Minisode 15. Listener’s Story: “Genderqueer Butch Lesbian Child of God” 21:49

2y ago21:49

21:49

This week Jess & Jack share the story of Kit, a listener who grew up steeped in the purity culture of conservative evangelicalism, walked away from her faith in college, and came back to it recently, only to find their home church’s teachings sickening (and not in the good way). By learning to queer Jesus, embracing God’s love for her, and blowing …

1
Episode 37. After Dark: “God Is a Freak” 43:34

2y ago43:34

43:34

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about the recent viral TikTok song and certified bop “God Is a Freak,” by Peach PRC. We talk about Christian purity culture’s obsession with sex, how they project that onto God, and the ways God does (and doesn’t) care about what you do/is done to you in your bedroom or on your couch. Visit linktr.ee/lavmaf…

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Minisode 14. Q&A on “Finding A/The One,” Or: “Jesus, Take the Wheel (on My Tinder Account)” 30:02

2+ y ago30:02

30:02

This week Jess & Jack respond to a queer listener who wants to know if God is ever going to give her a spouse. We talk about how much or little we think God intervenes in our search for romantic and sexual partners, as well as some of the harmful things Christian purity culture teaches about God “bringing someone along when you’re ready.” We also t…

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Episode 36. After Dark: “Kink-Shaming,” Or: “The Impossible Burger of Gay Vampirism” 1:03:02

2+ y ago1:03:02

1:03:02

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about kink-shaming. We talk about our most shameable kinks, as well as the sexual activities we just can’t see ourselves getting into and why. We also talk about when making ethical evaluations of sexual activity is kink-shaming (and when it isn’t), as how motivations affect the morality of kinks (for bette…

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Minisode 13. Listener’s Story: “Like Looking for Hay in a Stack of Needles” 31:43

2+ y ago31:43

31:43

This week Jess & Jack share the story of Pip, a trans non-binary Christian listener from Minneapolis who matched with Jack on a queer dating app (no, not Grindr). They grew up in a small-town hellfire-and-brimstone church, were bullied for coloring outside the gender boxes, and ended up hearing the Christian message of God’s love and grace toward a…

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Mini(Maxi?)sode 12. “The Biblical Case for Christian Polyamory,” Or: “Sometimes a Family Is a Bi King, a Straight Princess, and the King’s Gay Stepbrother” 1:37:21

2+ y ago1:37:21

1:37:21

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about polyamory from biblical & theological perspectives. Does the presence of poly relationships in the Bible mean that the Bible supports them? What about biblical prohibitions of poly relationships? We also talk about The Reformation Project, an LGBTQ Christian organization, their recent strongly anti-poly…

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Episode 35. “Christian Polyamory,” Or: “How Many People Can Fit Into ‘One Flesh’?” 1:01:44

2+ y ago1:01:44

1:01:44

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about polyamory: what it means to be poly; different ways to be poly; and benefits, challenges, and misconceptions. We also talk about whether being poly is a choice or whether you’re born this way, baby; and polyphobia in the church and in society. ICYMI: we have merch! Go to lavmafia.com to pre-order your v…

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Episode 34. After Dark: “Cheating,” Or: “Whose Bible Have You Been Sticking Your Bookmark In?” 1:05:08

2+ y ago1:05:08

1:05:08

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about cheating: why people cheat on their partners, what “counts” as cheating to us, and how cheating is (and isn’t) relative. We also talk about what evangelical purity culture says about cheating, “emotional affairs,” and the polyphobia and biphobia in cheating discourses. ICYMI: we have merch! Go to lavmaf…

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Minisode 11. “A Very Lavender Advent: Joy and Love” 46:51

2+ y ago46:51

46:51

For the second and last of our Advent series, Jess & Jack have a discussion centered on the third and fourth weeks of Advent. We talk about joy, how joy is different from happiness, and the queer anarchist energy of John the Baptist. We also talk about the different ways that both conservative and progressive Christians are wrong about what love is…

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Minisode 10. “A Very Lavender Advent: Hope and Peace” 36:36

2+ y ago36:36

36:36

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion centered on hope and peace, the two themes of the first two weeks of Advent, the time in which some Christian traditions prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We talk about what hope and peace are, what we hope for (and against), and seeking inner peace vis-à-vis seeking the peace of the community or the w…

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Episode 33. “Trans Day of Remembrance” 57:45

2+ y ago57:45

57:45

This week, Jess & Jack have a conversation about the recent Trans Day of Remembrance. Jack talks about a TDoR service he and his fiancé helped lead at their Episcopal church. They also respond to a listener question about how churches can love trans people better. Jess talks about helping her older mainline congregation figure out pronouns—human an…

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Minisode 9. “Q&A on Queer Reparations,” Or: “How to Atone for Being Kind of a Dick TBH” 29:24

2+ y ago29:24

29:24

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know how churches could ever make it up to LGBTQ people for the history of oppression they’ve caused us. We talk about oppressors who seek “forgiveness” without ceasing to oppress, what makes a good LGBTQ ally, and getting that sweet, sweet queer reparations money. We also go off, sis, on chu…

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Episode 32. After Dark: “Body Hair,” Or: “Otter? I Barely Know ‘Er” 1:17:03

2+ y ago1:17:03

1:17:03

On this “After Dark” episode, Jess & Jack have a conversation about body hair: our own (wo)manscaping regimens, hair we wish we had (or didn’t), and our body hair preferences for our partners. We also talk about the idea that hairy is “natural,” and, therefore, good, and what that has to do with disabled and trans bodies and experiences. Visit link…

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Minisode 8. Listener’s Story: “I Wish I Could Bring You Some Lettuce” 25:40

2+ y ago25:40

25:40

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a straight(!) listener who is drawn to Lavender Mafia *because* it’s created by and geared toward the LGBTQ community, because it helps her learn more about a community she’s not a part of. She talks about gardening while listening and feeling like she’s part of the conversation, being the same person on the…

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Episode 31. “The Afterlife,” Or: “G-G-G-Ghosts?!” 1:09:45

2+ y ago1:09:45

1:09:45

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about the afterlife: where it is, who goes there, and what it might be like to be a ghost. We also talk about our own experiences with the spirit realm, what the Bible and Christian tradition say about the afterlife—including that one ghost story in the Bible—and what we’ll do if we end up as ghosts. Visit …

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Minisode 7. “Q&A on Accessibility in Christian Spaces,” Or: “What Good Is It If I Don’t Fit In The Opening?” 21:59

2+ y ago21:59

21:59

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know how Christian spaces can be more accessible to disabled and neurodiverse people. We talk about the physical obstacles to inclusion many disabled people experience in churches—since churches are exempt from ADA requirements—and compare those churches to Jesus’ own ministry. We also talk a…

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Episode 30. After Dark: “Sex Work,” Or: “Do You Think People Would Pay To Watch Me Read The Church Fathers Topless? 1:06:31

2+ y ago1:06:31

1:06:31

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about sex work: Can it be ethical? Should it be legalized? What are our own experiences with sex work and sex workers? How can we support and protect the sex workers who are oppressed and marginalized? We also talk about the recent OnlyFans controversy and what we would do on our own OnlyFans profiles. Visit …

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Minisode 6. Q&A: “If You Haven’t Been Excommunicated Yet, Keep Trying” 26:48

2+ y ago26:48

26:48

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know why queer people would stay involved with a religion (Christianity) in which most people are anti-LGBTQ. We talk about what has led each of us to stay involved in churches, what has made us want to leave, and when to stay and work for change vs. when to leave. If you have a question you’…

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Episode 29. “Hell,” Or: “It’s Like a Basement for Storing Homophobes” 1:20:34

2+ y ago1:20:34

1:20:34

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about hell: what we were taught about it, what’s wrong with what we were taught about it, and what we believe now. We talk about how the concept of hell is weaponized against queer people, as well as what our own personalized hell (à la Dante’s Inferno) would look like. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, …

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Minisode 5. “Q&A: “Why’s It Gotta Be Black & White?” 22:26

2+ y ago22:26

22:26

This week Jess & Jack respond to questions about the gender binary from a tweet one of our listeners tagged us in: “What led you to realize the gender binary was not for you? In what ways did the binary feel wrong?” If you have a question you’d like us to tackle or a story you’d like to share, email us at thelavendermafia@gmail.com or hit us up on …

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Episode 28. After Dark: “Sex Toys,” Or: “How You Too Can Become A Sex Cyborg” 53:40

2+ y ago53:40

53:40

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about sex toys: our firsts, our faves, and what we used as toys that aren’t or shouldn’t be toys. We also talk about how sex toys can be useful when one or more partners is disabled, we address the objection that using toys creates distance between the partners, and Jack makes an unusual connection between …

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Minisode 4: Listener’s Story: “The Good Old Southern Baptist Guilt Kool-Aid” 31:23

3y ago31:23

31:23

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a listener who was homeschooled and Southern Baptist, tried to pray the gay away, was interviewed for a book, came out, was rejected by family and church, got gay married, became addicted to meth, went to prison, got sober, got out, and opened a bakery. As one does. If you have a story you’d like to share, e…

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Episode 27: “Death,” Or: “How To Overcome Your Fear of Death With Poppers and Overpriced Vodka Sodas” 1:27:52

3y ago1:27:52

1:27:52

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about death. We talk about how we want to go (and don’t want to go) and what we want our funerals to look like. We also talk about our own brushes with death, loved ones we’ve lost, and how queerness means contemplating our own mortality and choosing joy over fear. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitt…

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Episode 26. After Dark: “Gay Bars,” Or: “Bathroom Is Down the Hall. If You Hit the Sex Dungeon You’ve Gone Too Far” 1:20:44

3y ago1:20:44

1:20:44

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about gay bars: our first times, our best times, and what they mean to us as LGBTQ people. We also talk about tips for getting the most out of your gay bar experience and how to find (or avoid) bars and other gay spaces where kinky public sex is on the menu. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Fac…

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Minisode 3: “Listener’s Story: Christian, But Not the Kind That Opposes Everything Jesus Stands For” 28:16

3y ago28:16

28:16

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a queer trans listener who is rethinking their aversion to Christianity because of encountering LGBTQ Christians who show them a Christianity very different from that practiced by callous and judgmental people they have known. In getting to know Christians who embrace love and justice because of, rather than…

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Episode 25: “Queering the Crucifixion,” Or: “Jesus Was A Boss Bitch” 1:17:02

3y ago1:17:02

1:17:02

This week Jess & Jack talk about the crucifixion of Jesus. We talk about our experiences in evangelical Good Friday services, how churches talked about what happened on the cross, and how queerness gives us new perspectives on the crucifixion and its meaning. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, and Patreon, to hel…

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Lav Mafia Minisode 2: “Listener’s Story: Ex-Almost-Monk Turned Witchy Spiritual Trans Poet” 25:18

3y ago25:18

25:18

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a trans listener who grew up as a conservative Catholic and whose preparation to become a monk led them to accepting their own queerness. If you have a story of gender, sexuality, and/or faith you’d like to share, email us at thelavendermafia@gmail.com or hit us up on social media! Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia f…

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Episode 24. After Dark: “Queer Dating vs. Straight Dating,” Or: “Treat Yourself To A Little Sub Bottom Bi Boy” 57:14

3y ago57:14

57:14

This week Jess & Jack tackle a listener-suggested topic: How are queer and straight dating different? We talk about having fewer gendered expectations, queer (and Christian!) baggage, and dating in a society set up for straight relationships and against queer ones. We also talk about the beauty in diverse kinds of queer relationships, how we both h…

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Episode 23. “Pride,” Or: “Mother Wants You To Wear Your Rubbers” 1:23:17

3y ago1:23:17

1:23:17

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about Pride: how/why Pride parades started and what they’ve been like in our experiences. We talk about Pride as protest, celebration, and witness. Pride celebrates how far we’ve come, honors those (e.g. Marsha P. Johnson) who got us here, highlights how far we still have to go (e.g., re: trans youth rights…

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Episode 22. After Dark: “The Apps,” Or: “If God Were On Grindr, Would They Always Be 0 Feet Away? 1:08:43

3y ago1:08:43

1:08:43

This week, Jess & Jack have a conversation about dating and hookup apps. We talk about our own experiences—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and how experiences on the apps differ when you’re a woman, trans/non-binary, or disabled. We also talk about how to get some and stay safe while doing it, and how the apps can help you find the love of your lif…

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Episode 21. “The Virgin Mary,” Or: “Jesus’s Mom Was A Palestinian Freedom Fighter” 1:01:30

3y ago1:01:30

1:01:30

In this week’s episode, Jess & Jack talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus and how the Gospels portray her as a devout Jewish girl, a (mostly) supportive mother, and a Palestinian revolutionary. We also talk about Mary’s complicated relationship to Jesus and his ministry as she discovers more about him, and how this is mirrored in queer people’s rela…

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LavMafia Minisode 1: “Listener Story and a Q&A,” Or: “Did You Bring Enough Liberation For The Whole Class?” 23:42

3y ago23:42

23:42

This Memorial Day weekend, Jack and his fiancé August are traveling to meet Jack’s very conservative family(!), so Lavender Mafia is taking it easy with our first mini-sode! Jess shares a story from a listener from her tiny high school graduating class who is learning that queer liberation can liberate the straights, too. Jack shares a question fro…

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