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Welcome to Suzanne Says...Courageous Conversations About Life and Living. Host Suzanne Bird-Harris talks with friends and colleagues about what lights them up, their fears and flaws, who they’ve been, who they are, and who they are becoming. You know...the stuff that makes and breaks us. If you are hell-bent on wringing every last drop of awesome out of this life and the time you have here, this podcast is for you. More at SuzanneSaysPodcast.com. suzannesayspodcast.substack.com
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The Book Pile

Kellen Erskine and David Vance

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A podcast where comedians tell you about books so you never have to read! (Now including fiction!) Kellen does standup; Dave writes ads; together they highlight lessons from the world’s best books--and some of the worst. New episode every Monday!
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A magic girl (barely), a sociopath boy who thinks he's a knight, a strong guy who got fired from wrestling, and a bad guy with a mouth where his ear should be but only sometimes, I know this sounds made up . . . and it is, it's all made up in this book. Also there's an apocalypse, but that was probably obvious. * JOIN OUR PATREON for bonus episodes…
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Okay, we know there are many political controversies surrounding Elon Musk. But if you can, just try to clear your mind and approach this episode without prejudice. Wait, don’t clear your mind that much! That was all your memories! Quick, sweetie, tell me what year it is! Do you know who the president is?! Try to remember, please! PLEASE!! * JOIN O…
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Interestingly, this is also the title of the world’s saddest and shortest autobiography. Also on this episode, Kellen and Dave pitch a much better sequel to Jurassic Park. * JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * If you want to read/listen to Catching Fire and support the podcast in a fun way, click here to buy t…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Rediscover this gem of a Book Pile episode (originally episode #92) that we dug up and polished from July of 2022! Dave brings up Sauron's oversight on Mt. Doom; Kellen thinks Frodo fell short; Dave first asks the question "What would you do if there were no consequences?" t…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Picture a bird. Pretty cool, right? Now open your eyes. There’s another bird by that bird. I bet you feel so racist. Anyway, Bird by Bird is a beautifully written, witty, unpretentious book about writing. * If you want to read/listen to this Bird by Bird and support the podc…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Rediscover this gem of a Book Pile episode (originally episode #84) that we dug up and polished from May of 2022! The Big Short is a little nostalgic jaunt back into the greatest financial collapse of our lifetimes. Also on this episode, the duo discuss air fryers, hot tubs,…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Look, we’re going to level with you. If we describe this episode's book right here, you’ll leave. The description sounds boring. Your feeble attention span has been weakened by the internet age. So just trust us and try this one. Some parts are about love. Is that enough of …
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Rediscover this gem of a Book Pile episode (episode #99) that we dug up and polished from 2022! The Inner Game of Tennis describes an innovative approach to better, easier mastery of tennis and other activities. Plus, Kellen tries to never praise his kids, and Dave gets bett…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * We look at the first Harry Potter book again now that Kellen has read it a second time and Dave has continuously been listening to it since he was born. Also, we are trying to violate Harry Potter copyright as much as possible in the hopes Rowling will angrily tweet about us…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Kellen and comedian Chad Daniels talk about each others favorite poems. Also, Chad recalls an incredible moment during a Foo Fighters concert; and both of them admit to some of the things that they purchase for themselves as adults because they never got them when they were k…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to submit the name of your favorite poem for us to discuss on a very-near-future episode with Chad Daniels! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * The Three-Body Problem proves that you can take a mathematical equation and turn it into a thrilling, murder-filled story. Much like another book, And Then There We…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to submit the name of your favorite poem for us to discuss on a very-near-future episode with Chad Daniels! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Rediscover Lateral Thinking, a book ahead of its time as far as developing the human mind but not ahead of its time in terms of entertainment value... Also rediscov…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * The king returns. Alan Dean is back, and he’s more Alan Dean than ever. Break out the thesauruses as we do a live roast of his novelization of The Force Awakens. Plus, Kellen teaches you some vocab words and Dave has a guessing game. * To buy the book and support the podcast, cl…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the book and support the podcast, click HERE! https://amzn.to/43ejtlH * This book (for reals) was George Lucas's plan B just in case Star Wars: A New Hope bombed. The idea was to use the story of this novel as a template for a very cheap follow-up movie in case A New Hope…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the book and support the podcast, click HERE! https://amzn.to/3P5Gy4c * Nothing could summarize this book better than this Amazon review we found: “This book provides many useful hints that will have you agreeing.” Indeed, we were agreeing! Join us as we go through many n…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the book and support the podcast, click HERE for The Body https://amzn.to/49pRTV1 * Have you ever laughed while reading a book about the human anatomy (and not just with giggles and pointing)? Bill Bryson writes in an almost magical style about the wonders of what we do a…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the book and support the podcast, click HERE for Watchmen https://amzn.to/3uCrELW * “Who watches the watchmen?” That is the central question of this book, asked over and over. And yet they never answer it! So what was the point of asking?! It’s like when Christopher Nolan…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the books and support the podcast, click HERE for The 4-Hour Workweek! https://amzn.to/3uFGSj7 * We would've written an intro to this episode, but we didn't have time now that I guess we're only working 4 hours a week... * Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Cent…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EpiSoDEs! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * To buy the books and support the podcast, click HERE for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! https://amzn.to/3HPkXZX or HERE for Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator! https://amzn.to/3UtoNiN * Wonka is available to stream this week, and in honor of it, today we're praising Roald …
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Today's book: Dopamine Detox: A Short Guide to Remove Distractions and Get Your Brain to Do Hard Things Ever done a detox? Did it work? Will we ever know? This book contains about 20% very useful information on how to deal with the dopamine that wants you to keep scrolling. …
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Last year, Kellen and Dave both broke their personal record for number of books read, and in this episode they list their top ten picks. Plus, Kellen comes into 2024 on a mission to roast some Berenstain Bears, and Dave battles his demons (and angels) on a train. Click below to buy any or all of our favorite books from 2023 AND support the podcast …
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to purchase a CAMEO-STYLE video greeting from Dave and Kellen! (Gift to a friend or family member!) https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Want to purchase On Writing and support the podcast? (Or just that first one?) Click here! Free on Audible to first-time subscribers! https://amzn.to/48L68D8 * Today Kellen…
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Buy Gary’s book, Misfit: Growing Up Awkward in the '80s: https://www.amazon.com/Misfit-Growing-Up-Awkward-80s/dp/1250777062 Gary’s standup special, Born on Third Base: ​​https://www.max.com/movies/gary-gulman-born-on-3rd-base/3c80efb5-7891-463e-87b9-9e8ca7d8e6c7 Gary’s standup special, The Great Depresh: https://www.max.com/movies/gary-gulman-the-g…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to purchase a CAMEO-STYLE video greeting from Dave and Kellen! (Gift to a friend or family member!) https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Dave’s graphic novel escape room: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMBBLGXN?ref=myi_title_dp * Rediscover A Christmas Carol with the wonderful Tim Curry narrating! Also rediscov…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to purchase a CAMEO-STYLE video greeting from Dave and Kellen! (Gift to a friend or family member!) https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Dave’s graphic novel escape room: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMBBLGXN?ref=myi_title_dp * Would you like to read the Grinch? Would you read it in a cinch? Listen to our pod…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to purchase a CAMEO-STYLE video greeting from Dave and Kellen! (Gift to a friend or family member!) https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * So there's this book called A Christmas Carol which is about a guy trying to save money when a bunch of ghosts guilt-trip him into burning through his 401K just for a party…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES and to purchase a CAMEO-STYLE video greeting from Dave and Kellen! (Gift to a friend or family member!) https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Dave’s graphic novel escape room: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMBBLGXN?ref=myi_title_dp * Imagine if Indiana Jones were less sexy, more wrong, and way more condescending. I…
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Happy belated Thanksgiving (to whom it may apply...)! Here's a mini-episode courtesy of Dave, where he covers his Top 5 book recommendations of books he loves that no one else ends up liking at all (do you agree?) We'll be back next week with a SUPER EPISODE, one of two recent live recordings, it will be The Roast of Angels and Demons (the prequel …
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Dave’s graphic novel escape room: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMBBLGXN?ref=myi_title_dp * The Year of Magical Thinking covers the heaviest of subjects: really big hippopotamuses. No, it's grief, and do you already see how hard it is to cover a serious book on a comedy po…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * This week Kellen discusses (with himself) an autobiography by Roald Dahl, who of course wrote Matilda, The BFG, The Twits, The Witches, and one novel that actually wasn't terrifying for children about a chocolate factory (the 1971 film took care of that...). * If this bo…
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FOR TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOWS ON NOVEMBER 11th! For FREE tickets use promo code "LETSIMPROV" Tickets for 7pm show: The Roast of the novelization of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, by Alan Dean Foster https://www.improvbroadway.com/events/7-pm-improv-comedy-special-live-taping-at-the-hive-collaborative-not-the-improvbroadway-theater-2-4 Tickets for 9:…
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Our next official episode will come out tomorrow when we cover the book Trick Mirrors by Jia Tolentino. So for now, enjoy last week's BONUS episode (Mini-Episode #12) from the Patreon! And consider joining the Patreon for access to ALL of our bonus episodes! Join here! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile FOR TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOWS ON NOVEMBER 11…
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FOR TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOWS ON NOVEMBER 11th! Click here! Tickets for 7pm show: The Roast of the novelization of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, by Alan Dean Foster https://www.improvbroadway.com/events/7-pm-improv-comedy-special-live-taping-at-the-hive-collaborative-not-the-improvbroadway-theater-2-4 Tickets for 9:30pm show: The Roast of Angels an…
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FOR TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOWS ON NOVEMBER 11th! Click here! Tickets for 7pm show: The Roast of the novelization of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, by Alan Dean Foster https://www.improvbroadway.com/events/7-pm-improv-comedy-special-live-taping-at-the-hive-collaborative-not-the-improvbroadway-theater-2-4 Tickets for 9:30pm show: The Roast of Angels an…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile Today Kellen lists the books that have scared him the most from the time he was a child up until this year (please don't make fun of him...). It's Halloween month! Or "pumpkin harvest month" or whatever it is you're most comfortable saying about October...At the very least…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile Jim and Pam. Dunder Mifflin. “That’s what she said.” These are just a few of the phrases we’re putting in this description to really maximize SEO. Join us as we cover the history of one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. Plus, Kellen flubs the title of one of the most fa…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile Join us tomorrow for the next full episode! This week, we're covering the book The Office: The Untold Story of the Greatest Sitcom of the 2000s: An Oral History. But on today's tiny episode, Kellen does include some Random Facts about The Office that didn't make it into to…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile Today Kellen ranks the top ten books that have made him laugh. SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the Amazon links below if you want to be SuRpRisED by this episode's Top 10 list... But if you HAVE listened to the episode and are interested in any of the books (and want to support …
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * When one of your co-hosts was in high school, the house was so cramped that he slept in a room of 5 boys, while one baby slept in the closet, and another baby slept in the bathroom. So yeah, a room of one’s own would have been INCREDIBLE. Today we cover a literary essay clas…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Kellen wishes a happy birthday to himself and shares what his greatest desire is. Also, we've included half of our most recent Mini-Episode from the The Book Pile's Patreon! Enjoy it! * Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's…
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JOIN OUR PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * My Brilliant Friend is a book that BOTH of us agree is a timeless, emotional masterpiece, and if either host says they were ever BORED, then that host is JOKING and LYING and UGLY. Please enjoy the first entry in the world famous Neapolitan Novels. Plus, Kellen has some lyri…
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JOIN OUR NEW PATREON FOR BoNuS EPISODES! https://www.patreon.com/TheBookPile * Today Kellen lists the Top 10 Best Episodes of The Book Pile from the last 12 months (episodes 100 - 150), with quotes, highlights, stories, and teasers for each of them (Have you listened to Dave's shower nightmare? Do you remember the episode where they made up a song …
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OUR PATREON IS LIVE! GET BONUS CONTENT FROM THE BOOK PILE WHILE SUPPORTING US! CLICK RIGHT BELOW THIS SENTENCE! https://patreon.com/TheBookPile * Exciting news today as we announce the launch of our Patreon! Also, today we cover one of Agatha Christie’s most famous whodunnits, as well as the magical parody, “Murder on the Hogwarts Express”, in whic…
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Kellen ranks his top 12 biographies from worst to best, and he's probably wrong. From Einstein to the Dave Grohl (same guy, basically), there's something here for everybody, especially if you're Kellen. Have a listen, and have fun disagreeing! If you want to read or listen to any of the books from today's episode and support the The Book Pile, clic…
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To buy this book (Kindle or hardcover!) and support the podcast, click here! https://amzn.to/43U0dZr * Kellen and Dave were very sad when this book became a best-seller, since we had already published a book of the same title (ours was a cookbook). Join us as we dive into the poignant, heartfelt, hilarious, honest, tragic stories within this book. …
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Kellen is a big fan of Michael Crichton, and who isn't? (Dinosaurs and Crichton's four ex-wives, that's who...) This is the correct list of Crichton's thrillers from worst to best, and as with all lists of entertainment, you are going to agree with the placement of every one of these books and not object to anything... * To buy the books or listen …
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Before it was a great movie, it was a un-great book. And this shark book would have been much better if it stuck to writing about sharks. Instead, it is about the “shark” of adult life: extramarital infidelity. It is also about the “shark” of the mafia world – the mafia. Plus, Kellen says there’s no such thing as too much conflict, and Dave says th…
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If you're scared of frogs, you're going to HATE this book! Because--to you--the only thing worse than a frog would be a FLYING FROG. On this mostly solo episode, Kellen discusses one of his favorite picture books, (but he calls them "illustrations" to feel more like an adult), which has 6 total words (but many beautiful illustrations). * To buy the…
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