This is part two about our conversation around navigating life’s ebbs and flows as a vacillator/avoider couple especially when one is experiencing a high, but the other is not. Episodes mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-25-how-we-love-argue-the-vacillator-how-it-affects/id1661247515?i=1000613984775 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/po…

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of relationships between Avoider and Vacillator partners, exploring how these dynamics play into how we go through the highs and lows of life. We also discuss the thankless but crucial role of motherhood, discussing the unique challenges and rewards that come with it. We learn something new about each…

In this episode, we share our experiences and lessons learned from past flights with our two toddlers. We'll discuss the mistakes we've made and how we're applying those lessons to ensure a smoother journey this time. Tune in for practical tips and strategies we're using to prepare for success on our upcoming flight. ‌ Resources mentioned: ‌ Next e…

In this heartfelt episode, I talk to Ash about where I’m at with my dad's declining health. We talk through the beauty, hope, and complexity of coping with family illness and the fears that come with it. Join us for an intimate conversation about love, support, and facing life's toughest moments together as a family. Table Talks with the Tares: con…

In this episode, we explore Ashley's journey to uncover the root cause of her sleepless nights. After consulting with three different medical professionals, she finally discovered the root cause. And it surprised us both. Join us as we dive into her story and share insights on managing restful sleep. Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that i…

In this episode, we wrap up our series on marriage preparation advice by sharing insights on meeting "the one" and the journey that follows. We'll discuss our personal experiences and the valuable lessons we've learned along the way. Plus, we'll talk about the important things we hope to teach our kids about love and relationships. Table Talks with…

In this episode we dive deeper into the "preparing for marriage" advice and focus on what you can do during your single years. We’ll share our own experiences before tying the knot and insights into making the most of your singleness. Join us at the table! Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every…

In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at why "preparing for marriage" might actually be bad advice. We’ll chat about how it can make you think you’re not married just because you weren’t prepared enough. Join us as we dive into our experience in singleness. Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in …

In this special episode, we unveil the purpose behind the podcast and announce the launch of our new website. Discover why we're passionate about encouraging you to reflect on the effectiveness of your leadership. Sign up for our newsletter to receive monthly emails on leadership effectiveness and be the first to know about any updates from our pod…

In this episode we discuss and review a podcast on the dangers of parenting philosophies becoming too protective of our kids. We review a thought provoking podcast challenging parents to basically stop coddling their children and we discuss the challenges in transitioning a child from being completely dependent on their mother to a fully functionin…

In this episode, buckle up as we share our journey of prioritizing practicality over prestige in our car purchase. From weighing the pros and cons of different types of cars to different price points, MJ lays out the factors that guided our decision-making process. Join us as we drive down the road to finding a reliable and economical vehicle that …

Join us as we dive into managing finances as a married couple of 8 years. In this episode, we share how we prioritize experiences over things and why being aligned on spending decisions is crucial in our relationship. From budgeting for travel adventures to embracing the joy of shared experiences, discover how we make decisions on money in our marr…

By The Honest Underscore

In this episode, join us as we celebrate 8 years of marriage by delving into the wisdom of Reddit. From heartfelt anecdotes to practical tips, we explore the internet's most valued advice that has resonated most with us over the years. Tune in for an insightful and heartwarming discussion on our relationship and the journey of building an 8 year ma…

In this episode, we delve into the delicate balance of confronting others when they're wrong, offering a roadmap for delivering effective feedback in criticism. We also talk about the "behavior-impact-outcome" approach, which is one strategy to navigate challenging conversations with empathy and clarity. Tune in as we discuss the tools to foster gr…

In this episode, we explore the delicate balance between optimism and disillusionment, and the pivotal role of seeking feedback from those we trust and love. Discover how to navigate through moments of uncertainty and maintain a healthy perspective, by learning from the insights of others. Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire pers…

In this episode we talk about failure and how the possibility of failure is needed on the path to growth. We argue effective leaders leverage failure as a springboard for development. Additionally, we examine the crucial role of feedback in leadership, highlighting how growth oriented leaders gather and utilize feedback to continuously refine their…

In this episode I shoot Ash some thought provoking questions on what what she would say in response to the duality of motherhood and a woman’s career. I also dive further into perspectives for a family trying to be involved in ministry together rather than being sectioned off into our age groups as is the norm in society. We’re so thankful that you…

In this episode, we discuss a popular idea of self care and whether or not we are personally doing this well. We talk about some barriers that prevent us from feeling like we are receiving adequate rest, neglecting the regular rhythms of rest we actually need which is why we end up thinking we need to focus on our self care. We also include how we …

In this episode we take a look at the concept of toxic positivity and its impact on your ability to grow. We argue that without being willing to go into the areas of life that may be uncomfortable, we hinder our potential to assess and improve on what is really going on. We also talk about the difference between feelings and emotion and how that ex…

In this episode, Ash shares the framework she’s developed for identifying and overcoming idolatry in life. We discuss how while we often see ourselves as sinners, it is less frequent for us to acknowledge being sinful. If you’re interested in using the free resource we developed to identify and overcome the idols in your life, please visit www.hone…

In this episode Ash explains what made her curious about listening to the Andrew Huberman podcast on pain. We talk about the challenges she facing with the changes she’s experiencing with postpartum sleep deficiency and how the mind and the body are so intimately connected. Finally we talk about how to optimize routines in the mornings and evenings…

In this episode, we have a discussion on idolatry. And some of the core desires we have is to feel loved, to feel like we belong, to be affirmed. MJ shares his recent experience and journey of identifying an idol at work, and shares ways to confront and fight back the idol of affirmation. We would love to hear from you! If you have any comments, qu…

In this episode we talk about a question that a listener asked us about how we’ve been able to continue on with the podcast every week. We talk about how at the end of the day, it is much more about rhythm than motivation. “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems” - James Clear. Thanks for giving this a list…

In this episode we finally get around to watching After Death the documentary recounting several individual’s near death experiences. We follow up on our initial conversation about what we think about the trailer and compare it to how the full movie turned out. If you enjoyed Table Talks with the Tare’s, please leave us 5 star rating and review on …

In this episode we talk about Ashley’s career path into professional coaching, which is something she is passionate about. We also talk about our interests and hobbies in coffee and dancing. Thanks for joining us in this more casual episode talking about things we enjoy doing today. For any questions and comments, please email us at ashley@honestun…

In this episode we talk about what dating looks like for us now living in a new city and having to establish new relationships with babysitters for us to be able to go on dates. We reflect on the recent date we were able to go on and the differences between what they looked like in the past versus where they’re at today. We’d love to hear from you!…

In this episode we reflect back on 2023 and how we’ve used a word of the year to bring focus to our family. We talk about why we focus on one word for our year and how we implement that word in our family. This past year’s word was “planted”, and our year was anything but. We also talk about the books, music, movies, and tv shows we’ve watched, lis…

In this episode we share our experiences and perspectives as parents and the differences we bring to the table in raising our children. We also talk about how the children differ from each other even though they are raised by the same parents. Hope you enjoy this episode. If you’d like to hear more from us, or have a specific topic you’d like us to…

In this episode we talk about how we’ve approached home improvement and home decoration in specifically how our personalities influence how we approach each thing. As people living together with completely different ways of approaching projects, we discuss how this comes together when trying to tackle home improvement projects together. We hoped th…

This episode is an honest conversation about the holiday tradition of Santa. Although we adults know that an overweight bearded stalker who sneaks down your chimney does not bring all the gifts you open on Christmas Day, we ask ourselves how to have that conversation with our children as they catch on to the wonder of Christmas. We ultimately ask o…

In this episode we reflect back on one full year of podcasting and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. We share about our favorite episodes, stats about where you are listening from and our hope for the future with the podcast. We are so grateful to have you joining us at our table and we hope you enjoy this little insight we share on lessons …

In this episode we unpack the recent episode Dave Ramsey had on his radio show where he claimed that you can safely draw 8% of your retirement portfolio annually (I would argue this is way too aggressive). But if you can momentarily set aside the factual error with extremely consequential repercussions on people’s retirement outlook, we take time t…

In this episode we talk about where we’re at in our marriage and checking in with each other on how to continue investing in our relationship when placed in a new environment and raising young kids. We unpack how we’ve noticed that becoming vulnerable with others creates intimacy in relationship, where you can be fully known and still loved. Finall…

After recording our last episode (Ep 48), we realized we may be better off clarifying a few things. In this episode we take it fireside and talk more about where we’re at in how we believe we should be involved in the church as a young family. We take some time to further unpack the conversation we had last episode and clarifying that we do see it …

In this episode we parse out where we’re at in the journey of identifying and practicing ministry as a family. We look out how it tends to be defined in the church and point out the importance of not limiting “ministry” to what is within the predetermined confines of the church. Thank you so much for listening! Let us know your thoughts by reaching…

In this episode we share our experience of participating in a wedding through the lens of being a new parent of young kids. How it hits different as a mother/father of a boy and a mother/father of a girl. We look back at memories of our own wedding and try to predict how we would feel marrying off our children some time in the future. Finally, Ash …

In this episode we breakdown a breakdown in conversation where we had different expectations for what we were talking about. In one hand it was to vent and externalization so as to be reassured that it is okay, on the other hand it was a hyper-pragmatic view on communication that minimizes interaction based on needs. We’re extremely different so it…

In this episode we talk more about some of the additional thoughts we had as to why there was such a fascination with the Roman Empire. We also breakdown our thoughts and Ashley’s curiosity about the afterlife and a trailer of a movie that depicts people’s experiences with dying and coming back to life. Please leave us a rating and review! We’re so…

In this episode we talk about the TikTok trend going around where men are being asked how often they think about the Roman Empire. We share an insight in one of the responses by an episode MJ listened to on Adam Ragusea’s podcast (We’ve watched several of his cooking videos before and happened to stumble upon his podcast). We also talk about the pr…

In this episode we talk about the stark difference between Ash and MJ in how they care for others or themselves especially in times when the emotional budget is low. As the family is dealing with illness, we wrestle through the concept of how communicating intent in how we care is equally important to the care itself. Oh - and we also review the ne…

In this episode we unpack leading small group discussions, things to look out for an avoid, as well as having a conversation about a real stern discussion we had literally right before pressing record. Hope this is helpful and arms you well to have good conversations in a group, as a leader or a participant, and in one on one conversations with oth…

In this episode we give an update on how it has been like finding community in Charlotte. We also discuss the importance for us as a family to find and define a weekly rhythm and give you an update on the lawn care project that we’re trying to tackle this fall (shoutout Jacob for all your help). Would love to hear from you! If there is anything you…

In this episode we listen and respond to Andrew Huberman’s take on prayer. He is a neuroscientist and I don’t really know where he stands on his faith and religion, but his view on prayer was a very refreshing reminder of what we should think of the positional power of prayer. We also update you on finding community here in a new city. To watch And…

In this episode we talk about Pastor James guest speaking at convocation! We then morph the conversation to church accountability and serving at the church. We also give guidance on how to serve when it feels hard to serve at the church. Leave us a comment and review! Please let us know if there is anything specifically you’d like us to talk about.…

This episode is more casual conversation about your health journey and where we’re at, along with a conversation about our experience renting a Tesla for a day. Resources mentioned: Mind Pump Media: https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/ Current Program I’m using: https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/maps-anabolic Faster Way: https://www.fasterwaytofatloss.com Pl…

In this episode we discuss Ash’s journey from full time Chief Talent Development Officer to full time at home raising children. She describes the steps she took to get there and why she chose to raise her kids instead of returning back to work full time. Please leave us a rating and review! We love hearing from you! For any comments or questions, e…

In this episode we unpack Ash’s journey of how she’s dealing with the impact of a recent prayer she’s prayed asking God to remove fear in her life. We discuss the threat of a mysterious and inexplicable cancer cluster in the surrounding area and the importance of anchoring ourselves to the truth of Scripture. Fear is actually a grab at control and …

In this episode we dig into the differences between closeness and togetherness. By this we mean the difference between proximity and intimacy. Just because you’re close to someone because you see them all the time or hang out with them all the time, it does not mean that you necessarily are also close to them. Resources mentioned: Blog post: https:…

In this episode we talk about why we have a family word for the year and how ironic the word of the year for us has been as we’ve experienced it so far. We also introduce the seemingly similar ideas of togetherness and closeness and how they are actually not the same. The move away from Lynchburg to Charlotte has made that so evident. Thank you for…