Hey Til Death Do Us Recappers ~ we have returned for one final episode recapping MAFS NASHVILLE, and we're covering Reunion Part 1 and 2! Surprise surprise, things were a bit anticlimactic and overwrought. We still have plenty to talk about, though. Jasmine came with the right energy, and we were here for it. Nicole and Chris are living happily eve…

Amazing how less climactic a season finale hits when the audience has been ready for it for a whole month. *SIDE EYE* Look, as predicted, Married at First Sight Nashville Season Finale (episode 23) was a lot of produced nonsense, with a side of audacity and absurdity. Why are the two people who lasted 11 days suddenly main characters on our televis…

Oy, friends, where to begin with Married at First Sight Nashville episode 21 & 22? We laugh a whole lot in this week's episode but... what are we REALLY covering? Because aside from Shaq dumping Kirsten, and Jasmine getting her groove back, everything feels like highly produced, frivolous, fluff! That said, there are plenty of golden moments to dis…

Can you believe we're here? Can you also believe that there are somehow 6 more episodes of this season? We can't either. First things first, we have to apologize for the sound issues this week. Tim's mic was in and out so hopefully that isn't too distracting for you. We finally have some decisions, folks! Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 20…

WE DID IT! WE REALLY DID IT! We made it through what was often a slog of a season and Decision Day is finally upon us. Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 19 brought us last ditch efforts that felt like too little too late for most. Mack is still scheming and dreaming of a future with Gina and thinks he's fooling us. A kayak ride and some word…

Holy Moly, people. Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 18 brought us some audacity of the highest order. We're not sure what made us roll our eyes more: Mack pretending he cares about Clint when he really is just trying to snag Clint’s wife, Shaq acting baffled by Kirsten needing more connection after seeing that overhead cam footage, or Pasto…

Okay ya'll, this week we are keeping it short and sweet and to the point. Let's be honest, the best things to come out of Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 17, were the LOLs over cringey moments like the saloon/wench role play, Clint on the verge of hurling, and a Dinosaur-dress-up pressure campaign. Outside of Airris' shock at missing someo…

We are only 9 days from Decision Day, friends, and this Couple's Retreat was a welcome way to break up the monotony. And even so, not a whole lot HAPPENED in Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 16. We're used to couples in the throws of big tensions and potential fights by now, and instead we've got more matter of fact discussion of the same p…

Hey there! We took a week off and let's be honest... we didn't miss a whole lot. Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 14 AND 15 reminded us of one thing - most of these couples are just too.far.gone. All the emergency therapy sessions in the world won't save these couples from themselves 12 days before Decision Day, and it's honestly getting ha…

Okay friends, this week's assignment on Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 13, was for the couples to dig deeper. To talk about childhood and reflect on how it makes them who they are today, as individuals, and in relationship. The thing is, we're worried the dynamics are stuck in second gear for... most of these couples. And a letter to your…

Hey folks, better late than never, right? Think of our recap this week as the perfectly timed refresher before we head into episode 13 of Married at First Sight, Season 16. Right out of the gate, we address the controversy over Crust as a metaphor for love. Leave it to a pizza savant to throw us for a loop as we realize maybe too many of us have be…

Okay people, Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 11 was Montheversary week. And we're not feeling so hopeful for anyone other than Chris and Nicole. Kirsten keeps moving the goalpost for what Shaq needs to do so that SHE can open up, and is taking little to no responsibility. Shaquille is getting tired of it and we are too. Surprise surprise, …

On Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 10 this past week, our couples are in week 3 of their marriages and trying to go deeper. Well, some of them are. Airris gives Jasmine a mediocre care taking grade after she MADE HIM SOUP FROM SCRATCH, and decides the deepest he wants to go is finding out if Jasmine has had orgies or cheated on people like…

We are officially in the thick of it, folks. Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 9 brought some closer together, and some so far apart they've left the building. BUT FIRST, it must be said, we have had our SECOND MAFS Season 16 cast member slide into our DMs to share that they are pod listeners, AND expound a little on their perspective from p…

Okay folks, Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 8 brought with it plenty of drama for us to dissect. Our cast is back home and the fantasy bubbles have popped. We were surprised to see how many of them were willing to defy the basic stucture and requirements of this social experiment. It's looking like two couples will not be moving in togethe…

Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 7 wrapped up honeymoon time and takes us right into move-ins. Ginger-Gate shockingly resolves itself, and our biggest stressors are where Chris & Nicole's dogs will go, Mack and Dom's continual misunderstandings, and Airris being... Airris. Afterparty can not be slept on, as there's always at least one big n…

Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 6 kicked it all up a notch this week!!! The group is coming together and things are getting more chaotic. If we have to hear the phrase back-break around sexual intercourse again, we're leaving. Where does Airris get off thinking he is a 12 for anyone right now? Same thoughts go for Cantankerous Clint. Mack …

Okay friends, we are finally in the juicy zone this week with Married at First Sight, Season 16 episode 5. These couples are thrust right into focused, quality one-on-one time and the results are.... mixed. Airris seems to be treating the experience like he's still just trying to pick someone up at the bar. And he can't stop BACON SHAMING Jasmine o…

Friends, we have made it. This week of Married at First Sight Season 16 episode 4 was our final step in the long ass journey we have been on to get to what we like to call... THE REAL JUICY STUFF (aka honeymoons, moving in, when the real shit goes down). We finish wedding night, witness everyone's morning glow, and watch everyone get varying levels…

Okay folks, we are back this week BURSTING with opinions about our latest episode of Married at First Sight Season 16. We were downloading information left and right this week, between things our cast members said about themselves, things they didn't, things their friends and family said about them, etc etc! We almost let ourselves get worried and …

This week on Married at First Sight, we've made it to wedding day in some capacity for all but one of our couples. Shaquille is a certified catch and Kirsten can't seem to appreciate it. Gina is a certified SlayBae and Clint seems too in love with himself to be deserving of her. Airris is a SELF PROFESSED "reformed player", but his family's reactio…

We're baaaaack and we're so excited for a new, sure-to-be-chaotic season of Married at First Sight! Married at First Sight Season 16, episode 1, hits us with our 5 new Nashville couples, and surprise surprise, Britt & Tim have a plethora of thoughts. It goes without saying, but Nicole & Chris are our Season 16 beacons of light, and we will accept n…

Oh me oh my oh Married at First Sight Season 15 episode 6 brought us the final days of the honeymoon, and the days were CHAULK FULL of summer camp intensity. We got tears, we got betrayal, we got unsolicited opinions that could have far reaching implications!! Mitch the Bitch got to take a breather while the spotlight moved to Binh's judgey checkli…

Ok friends, Married at First Sight Season 15 episode 5 did not disappoint, even if a lot of the guys did. We are officially underway ~ already getting into some drama, some disagreements, and some bizarre behavior. These guys (minus Mitch) are horny, and never have we ever had to hear about so many boners in a season before. This week the award goe…

Holy smokes friends ~ This week we are recapping Married at First Sight Season 15 episode 3 AND 4, and there is no shortage of things to discuss! Everyone has gotten married (praise), and most of our couples are now in Mexico. We talk weird first impression dynamics, Mitch the Bitch and all of his terrible social choices so far, overbearing sibling…

Married at First Sight Season 15 episode 2 brought us more first impressions ~ the good, the bad, and the ugly! Will Nate live up to Stacia's checklist? Better yet, will he live up to his OWN hype? Moreover, has anyone ever been more creeped out by a family letter to the new spouse than when we learned Nate is a freak in the sheets? We have to wond…

WE'RE BACK! & Holy smokes do we start with a bang. We start with breaking Steve&Noi-from-Season14-NEWS. Then we talk about our gorgina friend who got featured in the Matchmaking episode and ALMOST made it onto MAFS SD, who shared some little tidbits about the audition/application process with us. & Finally, the MAIN course, we dig right into our MA…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 20 brought us "Where were they in March?" And let's be honest... it was weak sauce. A lot of it felt like A. Groundhog Day B. An Apology/PR tour C. An Alyssa special. All of which felt like a SNOOZE fest. But hey - Ask us our opinions on a snooze fest, and we're still going to have plenty to say! They eeked …

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 19 Reunion part was.... frustrating. Why did Alyssa get to become a main character of the show? Why is everyone trying to convince us that Katina & Olajuwon are the Couple of the Year? Why were there no cameras on the damn roof where apparently all the most important conversations happened? SO MANY PREGUNTAR…

Wowowow. In some ways, we didn't get many surprises in this week's Married at First Sight Boston, Reunion Part 1 ep. But in other ways, we were surprised, by how many people DOUBLED DOWN completely on their behavior throughout the season. Which only made the moments of humility stand out more. Between Alyssa and Lindsey we had PLENTY to screech abo…

It only took us 17 weeks to get here, but Houston we have FOUR OUT OF FIVE (really four) COUPLES STAYING TOGETHER. We were shocked, gobsmacked, and confuzzled. Which is always a good sign of good reality tv. Some people came in ready to bare their hearts and souls, some came in ready to make sure we all knew why they COULD HAVE said no.... but didn…

Look, Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 16 didn't bring us much new, but we couldn't let it just pass us by. Watching everyone's 11th hour strategies/moves/thoughts/desires is telling, even if it's just telling us more of the same. Dehydration was a theme of this episode - dehydrated relationship bonds, muscles, and a first for us on reality…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 15 brought everyone back to their origins, and helped us all see a little more clearly why these people behave the way they do. Olajuwon is tough on Katina because he was raised tough, Lindsey shuts down at the sniff of rejection because she was rejected a lot as a chid, Jasmina is ultra guarded because she …

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 14 mixed kerosene and booze and DAMN was it flammable for some of our couples! Steve and Noi spend most of the weekend in tension over instagram stories, and Lindsey manages to drag all parties into her chaos by game night. We have fights, tears, someone eating shit, someone vomiting out a car door and endin…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 13 only covered two days time, but DAMN we have a lot to unpack! These couples are finally getting individual, focused feedback from the experts, and ohhhh em gee does it bring up a whole bucket of B.S. from the cast members who aren't ready for self evaluation! Katina looks worn down and barely speaks up fo…

We are BACK with a new episode recapping Married at First Sight, Season 14 episode 12, and we are pretty much drowning in a swamp of confusion. When and how did Olajuwon and Katina make up? Why does he have a neck tattoo in half of these shots? Why is Katina the only one required to romantically gesture? It's about as confusing as Steve still not s…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 11 brings us lots of high highs and a low for the books. Every single dude except Olajuwon bends over backwards to show their partners they've been paying attention to detail and care a whole lot. We may have gotten misty-eyed a couple of times. HOWEVER, did Olajuwon miss the memo that husbands do indeed ALS…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 10 brought us intimacy week, folks, and it did NOT disappoint!! We had visits from Dr. Viv, juicy questions that led to many an explosive disagreement, and a sex basket for everyone. You get a sex basket! And you get a sex basket! And you get a sex basket! Anyways, there are high highs and low lows for every…

Married at First Sight Sight Season 14 episode 9 was another week of our couples free falling with no expert intervention, and BOY did we get some drama!! Most importantly, Olajuwon has lost his damn mind and thinks he signed up for King at First Sight. We are getting MAJOR burning red flags waving all around him and are close to telling Katina to …

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 8 threw up some curveballs and now we're most concerned about one of the couples we naively assumed we'd never have to worry about! Steve & Noi are on the rocks, and in the case of NoodleGate, we're Team Steve. That's not all we have to lament about, though. Lindsay can't keep her shit together and everyone …

Because of Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 7, we finally get to talk about so much more than YOU KNOW WHO. But it's not QUITE a relief because it means every couple has some things to be nervous about. What should we cover first? MTS's bed bug infested apartment, word "art" decals, or that Lindsey makes him feel like HE'S NOT LIVING IN HIS…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 6 was one for the books, friends. How could we count the times Alyssa made us simultaneously speechless and want to scream?! We're watching a #MAFS villain of the ilk we've never seen before - a commitment and paranoid obsession with making it known that she is indeed a good person, regardless of the fact th…

We finally get our first full honeymoon episode in Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 5 and OH EM GEE ya'll it blew up our brains with the amount of drama that unfolded! Where do we even begin? Alyssa claiming to be literally the nicest person ever to literally everyone? Olajuwon revealing to his wife that he had slept with a mother and daugh…

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 4 was chalk full of new insights and plenty more drama. Alyssa co-opts all of the good therapeutic language that has made our society a better place, and turns into meaningless victim mentality mush. We are PISSED. She pulls out the tears and says "uncomfortable" and "disrespect" a lot, and yet all we're sti…

We took a week off and we are back at you with a recap of Married at First Sight Season 14, Episode 2 AND 3, aka ALL OF THE WEDDINGS! Where do we even begin? Sure, Alyssa cried reading Chris's beautiful letter, but that was only when she was envisioning an Abercrombie model writing it. Whatever the opposite of love at first sight is? That's how Aly…

It's a New Year and a New season of Married at First Sight is upon us! Season 14 in Boston has begun and oh boy, what a season we have ahead of us. We've got someone who repeatedly refers to themself as MTS paired with the basket case of bubbles and penis jokes. It's hard not to feel like the experts did a lot of "Oh, you think that's the number on…

We are finishing out the year and the Married at First Sight Season 13 with a bang and a DOUBLE EP RECAP. We got ourselves Reunion Part 2, which felt much more revealing than part 1, and THEN these producers surprised us with a Where Are They Now episode which included a CAST GETAWAY. Who knew?! LOL. Johnny continues to make his case for his right-…

Holy Moly, folks, we got ourselves the juicy Reunion Part 1 we've been waiting for, and it feels fitting that it's also our 50th Til Death Do Us Recap episode! WHERE do we begin?! Gyrla is no more, and we are devastated along with Gil while Myrla's unfeeling ass appears totally and completely unbothered. Was she performing the whole way through? Di…

It's Married at First Sight Season 13 episode 17, folks, and we MADE IT TO D-DAY! Decision Day is upon us, which always leaves room for last minute wildcards, tears, and a healthy dose of bullshitting. This season was no exception. Say what you will about the experts' presence (or lack thereof) this season, but they were not going to beat around an…

Married at First Sight Season 13 episode 16 was our last before Decision Day ~ we rant and we RAVE today ya'll! We are feeling a type of way about Gil's judgement of Myrla, about Ryan's fake nice guy routine, about Johnny being Johnny, and about Zack playing Michaela. That doesn't mean we find these ladies blameless though. We want Myrla to speak u…