Over the course of 200 episodes, I have been writing these show descriptions and doing the artwork each week. It often occurred to me that it was a pointless endeavor, that very few people see this or even care. However, I enjoyed doing it, especially the artwork, and hopefully at least a few people saw it and enjoyed it. I wrote these descript ...…

Rather than explain what this tiny little podcast episode is about, just listen. It’s only 10 minutes long. You have time. If I can have sex with my gf twice in 10 minutes, you can listen to this one podcast. Seriously, we need your input on a subject that will decide the future of the show, so listen. Please and thank you; we’re not without ma ...…

Right now there’s probably some listeners screaming “reeeee why is it a rerun? This show sucks and it’s falling apart!” That might be true, but the reason for running a repeat this week is simply due to some last minute unforeseen scheduling issues. Everyone is scheduled to be back next week, and we’ll be packing subject matter. So enjoy this w ...…

Pepsi has had a fairly successful run as a competitor to Coke, and their advertising campaigns were usually pretty effective and memorable. However, you can’t have a good track record indefinitely without occasionally having a major misstep. Kendall Jenner, member of the Kardashian brood, is a tall Caucasian model and also a blithering idiot. E ...…

When you hear the phrase I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, you probably think of an old lady on a life alert commercial. As it turns out, you should actually think of thirtysomething podcast hosts who never learned proper balance and continue to be klutzes well into adulthood. One of us may or may not have slipped in the shower and broken some ri ...…

The Justice League is DC’s answer to the Avengers. Both groups go way back in comic book history, but Marvel’s movies based on their stable of superheroes have been tremendously more liked. Maybe because they took the time to cultivate the story of each character over the course of years, rather than just try to introduce all the main character ...…

The Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo is the hot new product that pairs with the Fleshlight to completely automate the sex act so you can remove all manual labor from the equation. This may not seem like a big deal, but they’ve also put bluetooth in the thing so that it can sync to special porn videos to simulate what’s going on in the scene. ...…

The Obamacare Replacement Plan has been unveiled by Paul Ryan, and everyone is very excited to harness the power of the free market to drive costs down by giving consumers the power to shop around. If there’s one thing the Republicans understand, it’s that Americans love shopping. However, one cannot help but wonder as the blood drains from you ...…

Wanna go to a brothel? Me too! Wanna go to one that consists only of sex dolls? Me neither! But some people do, I guess, in Spain since they opened just that – a sex doll brothel. The dolls are sanitized in between patrons. Too bad the same can’t be said for the real thing. Chlamydia is the gift that keeps on giving. I could talk about this sex ...…

Bill Paxton died. So that’s sad. Many of our favorite quotes come from Bill Paxton movies, and this week we honor him in a very special way. Meanwhile, a free press is the cornerstone to a democracy. This opinion is widely help by those not in a vegetative state, and even shares supporters on both sides of the political aisle. Trump says the pr ...…

Milo Yiannopoulos is a senior editor at Breitbart, the website that blurs the lines between conservative news and conspiracy theories. In the past year he has gained a lot of notoriety for his paradoxical and passionate viewpoints. He loves Trump and Catholics; not as big a fan of gays and transgenders. He is an openly gay man. One might say ex ...…

SNL has brief periods of success bookended by decades of mediocrity. This year, we're in the success period as SNL finds themselves with ratings higher than the last 10 plus years. So, what was the secret? Trump mainly; the rest of the secret seems to be having people who aren't cast members of SNL play the important parts on the show. So, the ...…

This week had most Americans trying to remember the fog of high school to piece together just what an executive order is. With so many executive orders being issued this week by Trump, just what power do they actually have? What is the point of an executive order? Aren't there checks and balanced? If you're looking to educate yourself on this c ...…

Yup, this week is a rerun. We've never really done that before, but some circumstances beyond Ben's control caused this week's schedule to complete fail even for a mini-episode. He's very sorry, probably. We have carefully curated one of our best episodes from 2016 to keep you entertained this week. Like NBC says, it's not a repeat if it's new ...…

Bane was the villain in the third Batman movie from Christopher Nolan. He was a psychopath and a terrifying presence, so it shouldn't be surprising that when Trump thought about what to say at his inauguration, he would lift a few lines from the speech Bane gave in the movie. The speech was to convince people that what was happening was in thei ...…

VR Porn has been the dream all men have lusted after ever since that scene in Demolition Man with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock. We're getting dangerously close with the advent of the Oculus Rift, and people everywhere should be concerned that potential partners aren't going to take their crap anymore. Once they can just be single and, ...…

Planned Parenthood provides a number of services to people, often lower income individuals in need of basic health care or guidance to help keep from making their lives worse than they already are. Services such as cancer screenings, STD testing, guidance and advice on options regarding reproduction and parenthood are most of what Planned Paren ...…

Virtual reality is one of those ideas that's been around for decades and thought to be the future of humanity, like self-driving cars or equality. With the commercial production of VR hardware like Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, Samsung Gear, and Google Cardboard, we've been given hope that virtual reality might actually be a thing we get to experience ...…

Happy new year is a strange thing to wish someone. It's kind of an obligation- now they have to try and have a happy new year, unless you mean it simply as that you wish they would have a happy new year. Either way, it's not entirely in their control, and speaking honestly, the odds of most of us having a happy new year are pretty low unless yo ...…

Merry Christmas, you little jerks. It's that time of the year where Christians celebrate the birth of their role model for good behavior while screaming at each other over mall parking spaces. On that note, we present a very Merry Christmas episode of The Devil's Advocates where we hate Christmas things and share our favorite miserable holiday ...…

If you've seen the movie Idiocracy, you know that eventually we're doomed to be a planet full of morons drinking gatorade as Earth's last breath quietly whimpers its way out. Unfortunately, it looks like we may have warp-zoned past about 500 years of decline to arrive at that point now. The Cabinet positions under president Trump are being fill ...…

Can't stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake is my go-to happy song. I turn into a complete fairy when it comes on the radio and I will immediate dance and sing. Watch us turn this into a celebration of one angry Trump supporter's rant at a craft store about being treated poorly. Spoiler alert - this woman is an absolute, uh, it rhymes with hunt ...…

Hatchimal is a word you probably know by now if you're a parent of small children. It's the toy you have to buy this holiday season to prove your love to your kids, and it can't be found anywhere because once parents get a clue that they might be able to buy their kids' love, nothing can stop them. No parent wants to see a look of disappointmen ...…

Starbucks is a very progressive company. They take coffee and make it into delicious treats, and charge you double for the privilege. They also ram their progressively thoughtful opinion down your throat harder than a dick in Aurora Snow's mouth, so that you feel like a good person just buying something there. None of this is really relevant to ...…

Do I really need to type out a description for this episode? Is there even anything else worth talking about? Donald Trump, the reality TV, sexual aggressor, blowhard, fake tan connoisseur and occasional evil villain and business person, is going to be the next president of the United States of America. There's no point in me explaining this ep ...…

Louis CK is much funnier than anyone on this show, so rather than pontificate about the election and the likely results you know by now, let's listen to what Louis CK has to say. It'll be the most laughter you've had from this show in a while.Whether Trump wins or loses the election, you can expect to see porn parodies about him. You can expect ...…

Election day is November 8th, NOT this week. While we have a very entertaining conversation this week about the final showdown between Lord Trump and Hillary, the election is NOVEMBER 8th. There's a reason everyone calls us morons; because we are.There's a video game called Actual Sunlight, and it's basically Depression:the video game. And, the ...…

Madonna likes to do shocking things. Sadly, when you do enough things that you think are shocking, they stop being shocking are start being pathetic. Madonna is just about 60 years old, and was at an Amy Schumer show. She offered blowjobs to anyone who voted for Hillary Clinton, thinking this would be an exciting offer. No one has ever had the ...…

Clowns are strange creatures in their current iteration in history. While meant to illicit laughter and merriment, they took a turn for the scary somewhere around the time the great clown Pagliacci got mad at his wife. It was touch and go after that, but after Stephen King’s IT was published and the movie was released, the clown ceased to be a ...…

Trump finally hit a level low enough to wake people up. The infamous recording from Access Hollywood has probably ended his career, and a strange chapter in our lives is hopefully coming to and end.Speaking of which, you might notice that the length of this episode is much shorter than usual. Something else is changing, another chapter is endin ...…

CO2 might be something you forgot about since high school science, but it stands for carbon dioxide. The more of it in our air, the worse it is for humans. While we all enjoy debates and Trump and Kardashians, CO2 levels have stopped existing in a normal range. What does this mean? That the oceans will rise, temperatures will go up, and we'll a ...…

Debate time during the presidential election cycle is basically the Superbowl for those of us who don't like sports. It also gets treated like the Superbowl, in that people talk about offense, defense, tactics, and a whole lot of uninformed opinions, because stupid America can only understand things through sports analogies and some blissful ig ...…

Snowden is the new film out from Oliver Stone. It tells the story of Edward Snowden, the CIA employee and high level clearance contractor who saw what the government was up to with the NSA and decided he couldn't ignore it. The film brings back to the news cycle the discussion of Edward Snowden's future in the USA. A social media movement has b ...…

iPhone releases are kind of like birthdays - they happen every year, the people who show up for it have nothing better going on in their lives, and they inevitably leave you feeling disappointed. Last week Apple released the iPhone 7, which by all accounts is a controversial somewhat idiotic device. They've made it kind of water resistant, take ...…

Lyft is a company that has a very interesting business model. Their plan seems to be to do everything exactly the same as Uber, but to not be Uber. It’s not the worst plan, and for all I know Lyft was the first one to market, but that doesn’t matter once the competition wins the brand recognition battle. Anyway, Lyft is at the center of this we ...…

Burkini babes are something you won’t find anywhere except France, and even there it looks like those wearing a burkini are in trouble. The burkini, for those who are unaware, is an invention for stupid women who enjoy being oppressed by an ancient irrelevant religion so that they can still go to the beach and retain their modesty. They do have ...…

Katy Perry is out of your league. It doesn't matter who you are, because she's a pop star who looks like a porn star but hasn't shown her tits or kitty publicly yet, which makes her a hot commodity. Only someone incredibly deranged would think Katy Perry would keep them as a secret online lover for six years. Well, deranged is the perfect word ...…

Incest is more than just an excuse for V.C. Andrews to write a novel; incest is also a category on most porn sites. In both cases the success lies in the fact that it’s so taboo it interests people in their dark little core, because that never happens in real life. Except for when it does, like this week’s story about a mother who gave up her s ...…

Suicide Squad is the latest DC comics and Warner Brothers movie to get critically panned as a mess trying to accomplish way too much while accomplishing nothing. WB gets their hooks into the movie looking for immediate profit on a DC universe scale, altering David Ayers' original ideas, while DC has their say, and ultimately you end up with a b ...…

Hillary Clinton has been building toward the Democratic nomination for president ever since a chubby intern put Bill Clinton's presidential prick in her mouth back in the 90s. She is a smart and ambitious woman, and once Bill was caught shoving cigars in beret-wearing girls' twats, she seized the opportunity. The conversation probably went some ...…

Crazy bitches are a part of life. Women are smart, caring, creative, and dedicated- every bit as much as men, if not more so. However, women are, on occasion, more based in emotional responses than men. This is a good thing- they feel empathy and react better than men… but sometimes this can be a minor problem when the emotion being felt is ang ...…

Mike Pence is the man Donald Trump has thrust upon his selection rod for the spot of vice president. Mike Pence is defined by many characteristics; a hatred of gays, fundamentalist religious views, and looking like a reanimated corpse. The most important thing he’ll probably be known for now though is being penetrated by Trump in the new logo f ...…

Pokemon Go is the latest game in the Pokemon franchise, at least I think it is. It’s hard to tell because these games are constantly being created, and frankly I’m not sure if there’s anything different about any of them. As I understand it, you collect little monsters, train them to fight, and then actually let them fight. I’m not quite sure h ...…

Miss Teen USA is one of America’s finest creations. Realizing that ogling women while making them perform is a delightful activity, we as Americans do not rest on our laurels. How can we improve upon the Miss USA pageant? At some point a group of registered sex offenders got together and decided that girls really hit their prime at about 17 yea ...…

Brexit is the hashtag-friendly term that the Internet ran with when a complicated subject like Britain leaving the European Union needed a simple word to be referenced by social media power users, such as your 13 year-old nephew. Brexit has been talked about for months, resulting in a voter referendum to determine whether the United Kingdom sho ...…

Orlando is having a bad month. Firstly, there’s been a spotlight on a rape that happened, which was particularly distasteful, by a young man with the appropriate porn-sounding name of Brock Turner. His parents wrote some particularly stupid and questionable letters to the judge trying to get leniency. His mother seemed quite out of touch with r ...…

Blair Williams is a contestant on Sex Factor, the reality show about young people rebelling against their parents by competing in a competition for a million dollar porn contract. We are three episodes in, and several contestants have either eliminated been eliminated or arrested on unrelated sexual assault charges, probably. One contestant was ...…

Harambe was, for those who don’t know, a gorilla who was shot and killed at the zoo because a kid managed to get into the gorilla exhibit and was in danger of being harmed by him. The debate that sparked from this incident has turned into a surprisingly angry and continuous one. Weeks later, people are still taking sides over whether Harambe sh ...…

Casey Anthony is a white trash girl who liked partying and didn’t so much like parenting. She was the center of a trial that enraptured a nation of simpletons, as she allegedly murdered her daughter because it was getting in the way of her rave schedule. She was acquitted of murder, but found guilty of lying to the court. It’s like splitting th ...…

Sex Factor seemed like kind of an obvious parody to make, based on the popular show X Factor. However, making an actual reality show based on the idea of contestants competing to be the next great porn star is the kind of thing that takes lots of time, resources, money, talented people, and media professionals. Or apparently some horny people a ...…