10. When you try to change a person with Tayler Gowan

The Vibrant Introvert

Do you ever look at other people’s family and wonder, how the hell do they get along so well? They look so happy. They seem to get along…I bet they go on skiing holidays and wear matching sweaters.

And then, do you compare them to your family?

I’ve caught myself thinking: “If only they would change…then we’d finally get along.”

I’d hazard to say that this line of thinking is common because… I’ve thought it a time or two.

And this type of thinking that your mind loves to indulge in, can become this lovely chain in which one thought can trigger another thought that is then the antecedent for another thought or memory or feeling, that then leads down a (sometimes rather dark and twisty) rabbit hole. But, if I am to trace it all back I can usually pinpoint some conflict I’m anticipating, or some memory of a disastrous family gathering, or to a larger, more engrained family conflict…one that seems never-ending.

Tayler Gowan, a social worker and anxiety coach, shares her story today about her longstanding conflict with her father …and how that relationship changed and morphed over the years.

In her story Tayler talks about the stress that came up for her in responding to conflict between her and her dad, and the various solutions she came up with to address it. Listen to how her emotional responses changed, as well as the ways she responded in order to reduce the conflict.

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At the beginning of this episode I talk about an upcoming webinar called "Values-Driven Self-Care." In this webinar Jessica Zielske, another behavior analyst, and I talk to you about stress, the role it plays in our lives, and how we can reframe stress so that self-care is more than a reaction...it's an intentional way to live our values.

Join us on Monday, March 22nd at 4PM ET, or 7PM PT.

Register for this webinar on my website www.actinspiredbehavior.com

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My guest, Tayler Gowan, has a B.S in Psychology and uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Health Services Research Specialist and Vitality Coach. In both careers, she works closely with people who are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, or stuck and help them to more effectively move forward in life with a sense of meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

Website: www.taylergowan.com

Instagram: @taygow2.0.