Featuring Swarupa Das || Was it fair for me being behind the bars? || SIV Writers

Scribbling Inner Voice (SIV)

More about Swarupa Das : Swarupa Das is a teenager from Gossaigaon in the state of Assam. She loves writting and expressing her feelings down to ink. Besides, she is also passionate about dancing and exploring new things. She's been an optimist since the very beginning and has an emotional heart. She adores nature and loves to write upon them. She has a tone of light brown which made her life a little different and interesting to share about. Her family and friends are the ones she always has got support and love from. She is quite an ambivert with an ambitious heart.

Content :

I heard a lot to say the same that repeats:

"Oh! Although your tone is dark but you look pretty."

I used to act to be happy listening this but never really was.

Alternating the deep colours of clothes for it may look darker on mine,

I was even believed to always wear the lighter shades.

Every mouths were just to keep me accepting all the kind of judgements.

"She is good in studies anyway."

The word 'anyway' never settled down in my head;

For what it was added to;Am i that ugly to even exist?

And you know what, once i believed that says:

B'full are only those who look pretty and have a light tone.

Now,i still ask myself 'Why did i even think of the above quoted?'

I was always compared at times,the question that still arise, why didn't i hustle for what's right?

I knew that i've a b'full heart and i believe I'm enough.

But never questioned the ones who tried to put a question on me.

Now if i only get a chance to something related to Love,

I hesitate to share,for i think what they'd think of noticing someone like me.

Tbh,i'm never the one who got all the fancy things but somewhere always expected.

And you know what, sometime i wish if i was born fair,

Or should i say if i was born in a society that was fair!

I shouldn't have listen to those talks then, right?

Neither anyone would've judged,based on my tone.

Should i be shameful for who i am today,

Or just walk away confidently from the hearsay?

Honestly i was tired of listening to the very same criticism since then,

Letting more in every aspect,but lacking from being a b'full woman.

Was it my tone or my inner confidence,

That brought me to this level of despondence?

Not letting this fact matters at all,i have come a long way,

But you know what, somewhere it still hind me back on my each day.

It feels to be the hindrance to many happy scenes,

Resistance of uttering anything out of my comfort to their means.

I have even let downs in myself for a lot mutable.

Now the question that i still ask myself,

Can i never live a life which is to me and where there's nothing like 'reliable'?

And once a dark night, i was sitting alone in my room and i was too overwhelmed with all the listening. Then,

I cried,I screamed out,I have even broken down to tears but found none to hear;

And now I'm glad i didn't find anyone there,for that's when it took a whole turn.

Yeah that's when i realized and I started accepting that,

I Am What I Am and I must adore Myself the way i am before I Lose even myself.

And now, i confidently talk about my passion and whatever i like to. And i am so happy finding myself.