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The WikiLeaks of Restaurant-Critics Burns Burger King's "Impossible Burger" with Conspiracy-Like Accuracy, Introducing Toby Fuller
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Welcome to the 20th ever episode of the Mike O'Reilly Show, News & Reporting and getting the facts. Today's episode is sponsored by CrazyDates.com.
Are you looking for a date who’s completely NUTS?
On a scale of 1-trainwreck, aren’t you’re looking for a total and absolute “CRASH-into-brick-wall” experience.
I mean, why settle for a typical tuesday, boring old argument in a restaurant on a first date when you can have a full-on wacky-attack, fists, kicks and all.... and yes, guaranteed on the FIRST date to be one of the most awkward, embarrassing and crazy-inducing dates you have ever had!
As one user put it: “CrazyDates is the most fun I’ve ever had. I expected her to just be weird, but when she flipped on her crazy switch - not only was she silent the entire time, she even threw salt in my eyes, and drop-kicked me after asking her how old she was - so much more fun than the one night stands we’re all bored of.”
So if you’re sick and tired of prom queens, preppies and puppies - it’s time you got in the cage with a full on rabid dog.
Mike O’Reilly introduces and endorses the next trend in app-dating: CrazyDates.com
Instead of choosing your ideal mate based on logic and algorithms - which is SOOO 2018 - find your adam, eve or snake based on your personal preference of...CRAZY.
Here’s how it works:
First, choose your “Crazy” avatar.
We recommend starting-off with our lighter passive-aggressive or gas lighting mode and once you’re bored with that lower level of abuse, you can easily progress into “foaming mouth” mode with just a simple swipe of most enabling finger.
After completing your third date, you’ll be upgraded from “Enabler” to “Victim”. After 10 dates you can achieve our highest “911” status.
Because the biggest mistake we’ve seen in our beloved family of 3.7 users, is settling for emotional pain when you can have the full on re-birth experience, experiencing the same pain as a woman giving birth itself. If not, more painful.
Trust us, when your date gives you a camel clutch during dessert, as she stuffs the cheesecake into your mouth with the force of a doberman - you won’t be bored. At all. Guaranteed or just delete your app. Free.
Yep, it’s that simple.
Go to CrazyDates.com/foaming-mouth-mike and get your first month free.
CrazyDates - Stop boring-old ‘enabling’ and start suffering like a boss.
Get Mike's live reports on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mikeoreillyshow
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