"Joy In The Chaos Of Parenting" with Geoff Rothermel

Fatherhood On Fire

Geoff’s Four F’s and their evolving weight through the seasons of his life. Faith, Family, Firm, Fitness Joy in chaos: When Geoff’s boys were young it was his responsibility to to put them to bed. And it typically ended up with both boys in the same bath then running around the house buck naked. All the while sensing his wife downstairs staring up thinking “you have completely lost control of this situation.” But it was that little bit of chaos and allowing them to be a little bit off the rules that was the most joyful part of parenting in those early years. Choosing to stay connected: The connection and relationship between parent and child is not totally correlated with proximity. Geoff notices many fathers who live and work in the same location as their family but don’t have as tight of a relationship as one might expect. It’s about choosing to stay relevant. And sometimes that’s not the most natural thing. Perhaps it’s staying up way past our bedtime to be able to send a timely text about an event our children have at night. Letting your kids know "I am on your team. I am the man, or parent, or friend that you need on your last leg. Or on your best day! I am never in a position to judge." Honoring your spouse: Geoff’s parents had a very traditional marriage. His father was the breadwinner and his mother’s role was to make his father’s life easier. They have a good marriage and it works for them. But when he met his wife misty. He realized she was someone to be honored. And her confidence and the presence she has about her are the things that attracted him to her. And those are the things he wants to preserve. Helping your kids choose a college: With so many things to consider, academics, social, sports team, scholarships; what Geoff realized was that what’s a perfect fit for one kid might not be a perfect fit for another. Or most importantly for our audience, A DAD. There is no perfect school, or perfect spouse, or perfect job. But there can be a perfect fit for you. Determine what that is and pursue it apologetically. Being your authentic self as a father: Geoff shares how he spent 12 years wanting to love sports. And the failed investment trying to live up to perceived expectations. And how struggled to find ways to foster this love of sports. And finally accepted that you don’t have to be a sports lover to be an authentic, good man. It’s about understanding what he needs in terms to be authentic. Why would I pretend to be passionate about something I’m not. That inhibits his ability to sincere, and true and honest. The person he thought would be most disappointed, his father, turned out to be the most impressed that he had the courage and self awareness to determine that that’s not that important to me. Ironically, his boys are amazing athletes. And what I’ve found is that I do like sports, I like their sports. So two things can be true at once. Work life balance and what we want our children to learn from our professional life:It’s not so much the type of work but the method: focus, integrity, rigor. Those are things I want my boys to to see, that I want to role model for them. And that they understand that life isn’t always exactly as I want it to be. That there is a sense of sacrifice. Not martyrdom sacrifice. On the same note. When they see me at their game or at a parents weekend. I want to be engaged and focused. Not on the phone pretending like I’m not trying to work. Some people may say that’s too compartmentalized. But it’s how I stay true to the objective in front of me. Words of Wisomd: Love that’s unconditional is POWERFUL. It’s way more authentic and sincere and enduring than any other love. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fatherhoodonfire/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fatherhoodonfire/support