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Nik's story: avoiding "it"
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Are you comfortable thinking, feeling and talking about death? Nik most certainly hasn't been. He describes himself as "a stereotypical man", not wanting to expose weakness or to cry. Death has been a topic that Nik has actively avoided for most of his life. In our conversation Nik courageously and openly explores how he and his Mum are now starting to talk about dying and death after her recent diagnosis. We talk about what’s important to Nik and his Mum, and how we each have an opportunity to make more of the life that we have now.
Welcome to Nik’s story.
Hosted by: Sam Meikle
Produced by: Spark the Difference
Here’s what Nik share in this conversation:
00:09 These conversations are all real and can sometimes be a bit raw. Remember, you can always pause and take a break for a bit.
03:59 Growing up Nik first learned about death from Herbie the Fish
06:08 What Nik knows now about death: "as much as I should, more than I want to"
08:12 How Nik's life was turned upside down after his Dad died, because Nik was a “stereotypical male"
11:59 Nik now thinks about death in very practical terms: “how am I going to make things better?”
15:54 A change in prognosis
21:27 How the last moments of someone’s life can be what we’re left with
24:09 How Nik will approach conversations with his Mum in the coming months
28:59 What a good death looks like to Nik
31:18 How Nik explores his thoughts and feelings about his own death
36:27 Accelerating the return of all of our energy back into the world
38:42 Talking to friends and colleagues about death
42:51 Nik’s first funeral was exactly like you see it on TV
45:36 Final thoughts: these conversations need to happen and also, seize the day.
A note on looking after ourselves: these conversations are all real and can feel a little raw. If you’re struggling with the content that we’re talking about, please seek support. This might be from a trusted family member or friend. The Samaritans Team are always available to talk and you can contact them on 116 123.
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