Your Iconic Image : The Head That Wears The Crown

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Carli Batson - Miss North Carolina 2021 / Miss North Carolina Scholarship Organization

Originally from Wilmington, North Carolina & a current senior at Appalachian State University, Carli studies communication; Public Relations and minors in Theatre Arts. Her passion lies within the arts & she has dedicated her reign as Miss North Carolina 2021 to serving communities across North Carolina, specifically local art communities. Carli has raised over $35,000 for rural theatre communities with her social impact initiative, Carolina Cares. She is proud to be a first generation college graduate this May and a debt free one, thanks to the Miss North Carolina and Miss America Organizations.

Instagram - @missamericanc

Website - missnc.org

www.marlanasemenza.com

Audio : Ariza Music Productions

Transcription : Vision In Word

Marlana

Carli Batson has experienced the past year as Miss North Carolina 2021, originally from Wilmington and a current senior at Appalachian State University, clearly appropriately studies communication, public relations and minors in theater arts since that's where her passion lies. She is proud to be a first generation college graduate in May 2022. And a debt free one thanks to the Miss North Carolina and Miss America organizations. Welcome Carli.

Carli

Hi, thank you so much for having me today. Well, I'm so so excited to do this.

Marlana

So here's the thing. June of 2021, they announced your name, you win a title and you get thrown into the public eye. What has been the best part of that? Oh,

Carli

my goodness, that's such a hard question to start off with. But I get this question quite often. And what I always say and what will probably always be my answer is the amount of people that I've been able to meet, but the amount of different types of people I've been able to meet, in one weekend, I could be at the poetry Jubilee, and then at a senior citizen center, and then reading to students. And you know, you never get to really understand how broad our state is, as a community and how, how different we are and how special and unique that is, until you're kind of in a position like this. So I've been super, super grateful for that. And being able to make so many connections this year, and hopefully, some professional connections going forward. And it's just the journey of being myself. I think, in this conversation, we'll get into it more. But that's what a lot of people forget. When the crown gets put on your head, or you get an amazing opportunity, they forget that you're an actual human being with actual real human being problems, too. So it's been difficult to balance everything, especially still being a full time student. I'm graduating in a couple of days from Appalachian State. So being able to balance everything has been kind of chaotic, but I couldn't have done it without the amazing support system I have, and how welcoming our state has been of myself, even with all the challenges that I brought to my, to the table on my own.

Marlana

So what do you think, has been the most difficult part of the job or the part that you wish that you had been either better prepared for or better warned about?

Carli

Right. So I think in today's society as a whole, the role of a title holder, especially in the Miss America organization, has turned from, she's still a social advocate in her community, but even more, so she has to be able to display that on social media, and almost become more of an influencer on social media. So that was something I was completely uncomfortable with. Moving into this role, I didn't have that pretty much of a social media presence to begin with. I wasn't super comfortable talking and being candid and transparent on social media. So at the beginning of my range, figuring out what I wanted my Instagram to look like, and what I wanted, you know, my social media presence to portray was, was quite difficult. And if I'm being quite honest with myself, I have grown to find out that what I was doing at start of my year on the internet is wasn't exactly what I needed to be doing. Everything was kind of posed perfect. And I was trying super hard to only display my best cells online. But what I've learned is that that's not what people want to see. They don't really care about the curls and the makeup and the eyelashes and the crowns and the sparkles. They want to know what I'm doing on a Tuesday afternoon, Monday afternoon. So that's been a challenge for sure. I wish I had been a bit more prepared. But in that challenge, I think I have become a lot more comfortable with myself and a lot more comfortable displaying myself in a public eye as just who I am. And you know, I'm just a regular girl next door. I grew up in Wilmington, North Carolina. We're a blue collar ship working family. My family doesn't come from much. I'm not a primadona, primadona Princess by any means. I'm just someone that was given an incredible opportunity. And I want to make it clear and known not only across our state but in the world that that opportunity is available. Well for anyone, even people that are just like me.

Marlana

So how do you draw the line between your personal life and what you want to keep private versus how much people seem to want from

Carli

you? Hmm. Challenging, I think it's very situational. I think to a certain extent, it's important to be transparent and authentic on social media. But at the same time, some of the struggles that I experienced and some of the experiences that I have in my life are personal to me or my family, or my friends. So being able to kind of share more of what I'm feeling than necessary the situation, I found that in the Miss America organization, and then the mist North Carolina organization, there are a lot of not secrets, but secrets that you might have to hold back before they're officially announced by the organization itself. So in those things this past year, you know, I would be stressed out about something huge that was happening at the Miss America competition, but I couldn't tell the world that they couldn't know that. So it was more so being like, gearing up for Miss America, you know, stressful doing this, balancing this, and all the things but not necessarily saying, hey, world, this is exactly what's going on right now. Come into my life, because that does get a little scary. And I think overall, in a bigger sense, beyond social media, it's about keeping your circle small. And I have to say that the group of people that have supported and surrounded me, before I was crowned Miss North Carolina, are still the people that I go to for advice and to vent and to have my truest, most raw conversations with.

Marlana

And it's so important to have our circle that support us has ever been. Not that and I don't want to in any way, it seemed that you aren't completely grateful for this job and opportunity. But has it ever been too much at times? Has it ever really gotten to you the way to battle? Absolutely. So

Carli

first and foremost, incredibly, extremely grateful for the opportunity in what I would take all the stress, and all the chaos, because of all the magic that comes with it. Absolutely. But absolutely, it has gotten too much. I remember right around November, we were gearing up for the huge Miss America competition in December. And I actually had to break up with my boyfriend. And things got real and Carly's life, really had to take the forefront for a good amount of time. But I was in the height of prepping for Miss America. So I was going from mock interviews, to therapy to all sorts of events across our state as Miss North Carolina. And that was a lot. So I just had to look at myself one day and tell myself that you can't do this job. If you don't take care of yourself. You we have to block in the meals we have to block in showering, we have to block in homework time, we have to do these normal human things that normal people would do all the time. But for some reason I was forgetting because of everything else that was on my plate. But my body was just telling me to stop, you know, stop and eat, stop and take a shower, stop and call your best friend, stop and call your mom. And I just had to reach out to my executive director and minus North Carolina team and say, hey, look, I know the Miss America pageant is coming up in a few weeks. But I feel like I'm about to fall apart. Can I just take a week to breathe. And they were like, Oh my gosh, we had no idea. Please like, Take as much time as you need, let us know if we can help you. So in that moment, what I learned most is that sometimes when we aren't okay, or sometimes when things feel like there's too much everyone around us isn't experiencing that internally. So you have to be able to vocalize it and you have to kind of knock your ego to the side just a bit and have that conversation with the people that can help you and have the resources to help you. Because doing it all on my own wasn't gonna

Marlana

happen. Yeah. So let's talk about mental health for a minute and dive into that a little bit more. In what ways has has this been a challenge to your mental health and what have you done to try and take care of that? Yeah,

Carli

so I think in being any sort of public figure or having a role that makes you a present figure, whether that's in your community or your state, or even across The country is, is a big toll on just your self image. Comparison issues have been maxed this year. So what I've really had to work on personally, is being my best self. And sometimes my best self doesn't look like Miss Colorado's best self or miss South Carolina's best self, or whomever you're surrounded, and you're in this community with incredible, accomplished, talented, beautiful women. So it's hard to look in the mirror and put yourself on the same kind of level as the people that you have daily conversations with. So kind of looking at myself and a higher stance than I had before in the past was a big jump for me at first. And really understanding that, you know, I was given this opportunity, not only because that they had faith in me, but because I proved to the judges that they could trust me this year with this title and these obligations and these opportunities. So that's something that I earned just like the next URL. But comparison, and especially with social media, and the technology we have today has definitely definitely been the biggest struggle. But I also have to say the sisterhood of Miss America does a great job of shutting that down. It's hard to shut down in your own brain. But the first second, I start to feel down about myself or less confident, I know that I have 51 Sisters, across the state on an iPhone, and then the Miss North Carolina organization in the family that we've created in the sisterhood there is so strong, and all of those women just as incredible as they are on paper, and their resumes and their accolades, and the things that they could list and impress you with for days. They're also just really great friends, and true women that puts supporting other women and highlighting them before themselves, which is really awesome.

Marlana

Yeah. You know, I have various clients and friends that as they have emerged more into the public eye, when you become more visible, and people start watching what you do, and following you and things like that, they start to think that they know you, and can get sometimes I know from other clients a little more familiar than, than you really are. Have you ever experienced that? And, you know, how do you navigate that portion?

Carli

This makes me think of a time I was really struggling with my relationship with food. And not really in A Look at Myself, I don't like the way I look way, but just in finding time to take care of myself and eat and nurture my body in the way that it needed to be. And I posted a picture in a gown it was like National gown day on Instagram. So I posted a picture and a gown. And here comes the Karen's jumping on ready to tell me you know how thin I looked how unhealthy I looked, you know, it looks like I was about to fall over data. Ah, and those were the last things that I needed to hear. Um, so I think really, what's helped me the most is tuning out the haters and tuning out the people that you know, don't have any sort of value in in the conversation of your life and the conversation of who you are, where you want to go, what you're doing. You're never going to meet these people, most of them if you click on their feed and their profile, they're just computer bots to begin with. They're not even real humans. So really not letting the words get to me and focusing on you know, am I being a good friend? Am I being a good daughter? Am I being a good title holder? Am I being a good student? Am I being a good ally? These things are far more important than if Karen thinks I look okay on Facebook. So it's just having to look at something from a bigger picture and not getting too drawn into the haters.

Marlana

Term. Yeah. And you know, I also want to touch on this too, because woman that we both knew Cheslie Kryst several months ago, committed suicide and she was so accomplished and I know the gold standard for a lot of people in the pageant community and a lot of people just in general, because she was outstanding in so many ways. And I know that that rocked me a little bit. And I saw it kind of rocked you and a lot of the girls in the Miss North Carolina and Miss America and miss you USA organizations. What did that do to you?

Carli

Ah, so Cheslie's death completely gut punch me. It came at a time in my life where I wasn't taking care of myself wasn't doing well wasn't feeling my best. But still was having this social media presence where if you clicked on my page, you wouldn't know that at all. So I was heartbroken. And I tried my best to stay off the internet for as long as I could. But then something happened inside me that I think Cheslie was able to do for a lot of us, especially pageant girls. Then it kind of lit this fire in me. And I was like, Wait a second, these people that follow me the 25,000 people that follow me, they have six more months to get to know me. I'm gonna tell them the truth. Like it's done. There's nothing to portray, there's no one to convince anymore. And I think at the time of chess, Lee's passing, as the punch and hurt we all were in confused and searching for answers. We really understood the importance of being honest, even when it's hard, and really showing maybe the not so pretty side of but we do as pageant folders. So I think it was a day or two after the news, I made this post and it was basically pictures of me and a sash and a crown with tears streaming down my face. me asleep on the couch in my apartment after a long day. It was just you know, the raw honest truth of not every day is sunshine and sparkles and rainbows. There are those dates in those days are fabulous. And that's what keeps us all doing this job. But roped in and weaved into these incredible opportunities and amazing moments is real life and do lot due dates and deadlines. And you know, work that has to be done within yourself that we can't really forget about. And I think in social media as a whole, not only in the pageant community, we do a really bad job of just putting, you know, the prettiest pictures or the best looks, you know, I'm doing great. Look at my resume, look at all these things. I'm done. Without saying, you know, I couldn't be at this yesterday because I had therapy because I deal with anxiety and depression every single day. And I just think we're at a time in our life. That that's okay to talk about. And it's important to talk about. And so with Cheslie's passing, for me, it really just, even more so encouraged that, you know, you only had a certain amount of time left in this job, make it count, and make it available to the next Miss North Carolina and the next Miss North Carolina, to be able to have that open space on social media and be able to, you know, portray who they really are. Not just what they want the world to see.

Marlana

Yeah, I said, I said, But good thing, I think that came out of that is that it seemed like a reality check for many and, and it gave a lot of women permission to say, Yeah, I'm not okay, too. For sure. Absolutely. And it's really so important to be able to have those conversations.

Carli

lately. I remember seeing just, you know, the floods of Facebook posts and Instagram and you text messages on my phone conversations that I had in person with people that you know, after Cheslie's passing, it really was that reality check of Wait a second. I I know her like, I know that girl. I've been there too. I've had those feelings. I've thought about that. Um, so yeah, it's sad. But if anything, I think Cheslie's death really might have rescued a lot more of us than we think. Which is the

Marlana

thing that I think is the beautiful thing that came out of it if there's a beautiful thing out of it, right? Yeah. So what would you say to any girl that has your position going forward or any position in the public space going forward?

Carli

I'd say keep your circle small. Know who is really in that circle for your best interest? Not their best interests, not their business's best interests. Your sole best interest, not Miss North Carolina's best interest but your soul best interests and cling to those people. Trust in those people. We'll talk to those people have great communication skills, not just on stage, have those communications skills with your boss, have those communication skills with your travel manager, your business manager, your social media person, everyone in your close circle, whether that's your mom, your dad, your friends, or your boss, you need to have those types of communication open. for the sole purpose of something not going smooth and easy, because most of the time, these people have you on board, and you're just along for the ride, and everything is smooth and easy. They do a great job of making sure you have everything you need, and that you're supported in the best way possible. But there are times that that can't happen or won't happen. And I know, you know, with a pandemic, we weren't sure exactly what was going on at all. So the key there was really just having those conversations, having great conversation skills, and keeping those lines of communication open, and...