Episode 30 - Tears of the Priesthood

Great And Spacious Podcast

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Introduction
Hold onto your doctrinal hats, because in this episode your hosts Abish, Moroni, Abigail, and aaaAAAaaa take you on a whirlwind tour of sacred sips, strategic showdowns, and the elusive world of divine femininity. In an intro that rivals a sitcom pilot, they hop from online escapades and VPN capers to joint Facebook accounts, all while casually sipping on their concoction of choice: the oh-so-spiritual "#Blessed" cocktail, complete with honey syrup courtesy of their very own backyard bees (who knew the divine had a thing for apiaries?).
Scriptures [00:11:42]
Then, brace yourselves for a scripture deep-dive where aaaAAAaaa becomes your cheeky guide through the riveting saga of Alma 50-55. Brace yourself for the dramatic highs and lows of Nephite-Lamanite clashes, with plot twists that Shakespeare himself would envy – including teetering king-men, relentless battles, and, of course, a character death that could give even the most gripping Netflix series a run for its money.
Church Teachings [00:51:12]
Just when you thought you've had your fill of spiritual epiphanies, Abish takes the reins on church teachings, where the hosts navigate the choppy waters of blessings and ordinances. From naming babies to dunking them in water and everything in between, they deliver lighthearted quips and musings on divine plans and patriarchal pressures. Buckle up for a rollercoaster of anecdotes, opinions, and tongue-in-cheek reflections that'll leave you wondering if all those prayers you've been forwarding are just a cosmic chain letter.
Patriarchal Blessings [01:10:50]
Then, the things everyone has been waiting for: Abigail, Moroni, and aaaAAAaaa read their patriarchal blessings, and Abigail gives Abish, who has never received a patriarchal blessing, a matriarchal blessing.
History [01:52:50]
But wait, there's more! Tune in for a dose of divine gender dynamics, as Abigail weaves a tale of a heavenly mother so mysterious, even the most exclusive members-only club would be envious. Delight in the hosts' witty observations on hymns, sermons, and theological twists that could leave your Sunday school teacher questioning their life choices.
And what's a theological escapade without a historical detour? Abigail digs into the life of Eliza Roxcy Snow, who's part heroine, part legend, and all shades of enigmatic. Get ready for a rollercoaster of herstory, complete with tales of donations, temple construction, and enough intrigue to rival any daytime soap opera.
But the pièce de résistance? A critical deconstruction of the church's dance around the concept of Heavenly Mother. Our hosts channel their inner cultural critics as they dissect the church's sidestepping, justification-juggling, and Garden of Eden blame game. From sexist narratives to leadership voids, this segment is a no-holds-barred takedown of sacred patriarchy that will have you questioning your holy milk before it's even warmed.
So there you have it, dear listeners, a journey through the delightful maze of Mormonism's quirks and quandaries, served with a generous side of skepticism and a dash of divine mockery. Tune in if you're ready to embrace the absurd, challenge the norm, and sip on the mysteries of life – one bourbon-infused blessing at a time.

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