Homosexuality: Secrecy and Shame in the Orthodox Community

Listening to Understand

Listen to Understand: The Ripple Effect of Secrecy on Identity and Relationships

Mordechai Salzberg, LCSW, is a sexual addiction therapist who works primarily with Chasidic Jews. After his first episode on the Hope to Recharge podcast last January 2022 titled “The Fatal Price of Sexual Shame and Secrecy,” he joins us this time, armed with the courage to tell his own story.

The goal of this episode is not to attack any particular community, but rather, to bring healthy and meaningful awareness for those affected by these topics, as well as to make them informed that there is hope and healing possible with awareness, conversation, and therapy.

Growing up within a traditional Orthodox community, Motti was exposed early on to the secrecy and shame surrounding sexuality and intimacy, along with the stringent path in life expected of him, a stereotypical Bechor (firstborn son). Since then, it has taken decades of soul searching for him to accept his sexuality, acknowledge and take responsibility for his actions, and finally, to share who he is with the world.

In this episode, he recounts his journey as a gay man, including the trauma from years of secrecy and denial, the unhealthy and risky ways he has coped, dissociative tendencies, and eventual breakdown of relationships. He emphasizes the painful effects of communities putting a premium on shame and secrecy not only on an individual, but also on the children and families involved and hopes more people may then see that there is growth and healing to be found by simply listening to understand.

Connect with Motti:

Website: Mordechai Salzberg, LCSW

Email: [e-mail]

LinkedIn: Motti Salzberg

Mentioned in this podcast:

Motti’s episode on Hope to Recharge: https://hopetorecharge.com/episode/the-fatal-price-of-sexual-shame-and-secrecy-mordechai-salzberg/

Recommended Read: Judaism and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View, Rabbi Chaim Rappaport: https://www.amazon.com/Judaism-Homosexuality-Authentic-Orthodox-View/dp/0853034524

For sources in Halacha and Tanach that discuss Toayvah, please reach out to us via email: [e-mail]

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