Eps 493: The gender journey with Alanna Beebe

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guest today is my dear friend and the cofounder & managing director at Sproutable, Alanna Beebe! You’ll recognize Alanna from the Art of Connected Parenting series we did earlier this year.

I’m so excited that Alanna is here to kick off Pride! Alanna is an amazing parent, and she’s here to share some of her child’s gender journey with us. Alanna’s child, was born male, transitioned to female around age 3, and more recently has transitioned to nonbinary. I have so many questions for Alanna, and although her child is still an elementary-schooler, we can still learn from so much Alanna does and how she holds space for her own child. I ask how a 3 or 4 year old knows their gender, what going through this process was like for her as a mother, and where her fears & hopes are.

We hit on a lot this week: inclusive conversations & language, the political aspects that play in, how to best support your kiddo when unkind or unsafe things happen, how to make sure your message of love is getting through, using gender-neutral language, and how it looks differently supporting transgender teens versus transgender children.

Takeaways from the show

• Alanna shares her child’s gender journey with us
• “Our kids can’t be in the world what they can’t see.”
• What age do kids start to notice and identify with a gender?
• What comes up for us as adults when we see our child(ren) questioning or transitioning their gender?
• How do we have those constant, hard conversations around gender?
• Making home a safe, loving place to come back to - as a parent, you are their safe space
• How to stop yourself from future tripping (spoiler: it comes back to teaching those life skills!)
• “All you have to do is love and accept the kid that’s in front of you.”
• Transitioning is not rebelling!
• What happens when we pushback? What happens when we give them space?
• Supporting transgender teens & adolescents (even when we’re feeling fearful & unsure)

For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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