Eps 508: Raising neurodivergent teens with Dr. Matt Zakreski

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now.

I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings.

Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility.

Takeaways from the show

• The Performance Cliff
• Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity
• Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings
• Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior
• “Emotions can’t be wrong”
• You don’t have to understand to show up well
• 3 directions of perfectionism
• Should = could + shame
• Trapdoor perfectionism
• Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves
• Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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