Challenging the Concept of Anonymity in Adoption

Family Twist: A Podcast Exploring DNA Surprises and Family Secrets

In this episode of the Family Twist podcast, Kendall takes the reins as he engages in a heartfelt conversation with fellow adoptee, Greg Gentry. The two discuss their adoption experiences, touching on the challenges of reunion with biological families, the emotional impact of discovering one’s adoption later in life, and the ongoing journey of healing and understanding. Kendall and Greg find common ground in their stories, offering insights into the complexities of adoption and reunion, as well as the importance of grace and patience in these deeply personal journeys.

Challenging the Concept of Anonymity in Adoption

Main Topics, Points, and Ideas

Greg's Adoption Discovery

• Greg shares his experience of learning about his adoption at age 10, describing how it was a sudden and life-altering moment.
• He reflects on the shift in his relationships with his adoptive family after this discovery, noting a sense of disconnection that persisted throughout his life.
• "I remember my whole world shifting, feeling it shift, feeling my connection with my adoptive sisters shift." – Greg Gentry

Closed Adoption and the Search for Identity

• Greg discusses the challenges of being adopted in a closed adoption system, including the difficulties in accessing his birth records and non-identifying information.
• Despite being in partial reunion, Greg still struggles with feelings of exclusion and the emotional barriers that exist between him and his biological mother.
• "Even as an adoptee out of the fog, I feel like it would be a hurtful situation to ask for my own information, which is unfortunate." – Greg Gentry

The Impact of Reunion on Relationships

• Both Greg and Kendall explore the emotional complexities of reuniting with their biological families. Greg speaks candidly about the difficulties he’s faced in maintaining a relationship with his birth mother, who has yet to fully embrace him.
• Kendall shares his own experiences of reunion, reflecting on the stark differences between his adoptive family's close-knit nature and the more distant relationships he has with his biological relatives.
• "It's almost like I was just late to the party. And so now I'm supposed to go stand in the corner." – Greg Gentry

The Emotional Toll of Adoption and Reunion

• The episode delves into the emotional toll that adoption and reunion can take on adoptees, particularly when expectations are not met, and relationships remain strained.
• Greg expresses his frustration with the lack of connection and the ongoing struggle to feel validated by his birth family.
• "It can make a person feel like they doubt the worthiness of their own existence. Do I have a right to be here?" – Greg Gentry

Finding Grace and Healing

• Kendall emphasizes the importance of finding grace and understanding in these difficult situations, recognizing that everyone involved carries their own emotional burdens.
• The conversation highlights the need for patience and self-care as both Kendall and Greg continue to navigate their complex family dynamics.
• "I need to continue to find grace for others because I get so caught up in my own story that I don't stop and think." – Kendall Stulce

Looking Forward

• The episode closes with both Kendall and Greg expressing hope for the future, acknowledging the challenges ahead but also the potential for growth and healing.
• Kendall invites Greg to return to the podcast in the future to update listeners on how his journey progresses.
• "Thank you so much for joining me. And again, I'd like to have you back on and talk about things that have progressed." – Kendall Stulce