Episode 12: Toxic People

Lunch With The Garzas

6 Signs they’re toxic for you

Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problems Make you feel sorry for them and make you feel responsible for their issues, even though their issues are never solved Black hole of “needing help” They require your ongoing sympathy and support and will create drama after drama to make sure you stay focused on them But they’re problems are never solved, are they?

Toxic people are draining
Leave you emotionally drained Its always about taking care of their business This can lead to frustration and anger because in the end, they don’t really care about their own business and yet youre constantly involved in fixing it Protect your time and energy

They’re manipulative
Get people to do what they want for them Use other people to accomplish their goals

They’re Judgmental
Constantly Criticizing

They take no responsibility for their own feelings
They rather project their feelings onto you

They don’t apologize
They don’t see any reason too Always someone else fault Constantly playing victim

They make you prove yourself to them
Make you choose them or someone else Choose Something they want over what you want

They’re not interested in what matters to you
When good things happen to you, it moves the attention away from them and they can’t deal with that Make you feel guilty Criticize how you’re doing it Try to take away from your accomplishments

13 signs you’re in a toxic relationship

Passive aggression
Nothing is direct Theres always criticizing If you cant be direct in your relationship then you have nothing

Jealousy and the blame game
Were all human, some jealousy is expected But excessive jealousy is never okay

Criticism and contempt
Constant nitpicking

Arguing without communicating
Yelling over each other if theres no exchange of communication and neither person is able to say how they really feel, nothing will be solved

Negative Energy
Feeling uncomfortable or tense around someone is your body reacting to negative energy around you Negativity can drain you
Mentally Physically Emotionally
Your Sig Other should be a release from that kind of stress Just aren’t happy when around each other Happier at work than at home?

Avoiding each other
If you cant stand the thought of being around them, its all bad

You’re not yourself
Change is going to happen But you two should be changing in the same direction Relationships should create a better you, not a worse version

Feeling like theres no point
Comfortable over choice If you’re relationship is going nowhere and only one person is willing to change, why waste the time?
Only think about making him or her happy
2 way street Both of you should be constantly thinking about different ways to make each other happy

Cant seem to do anything right
Everything you do upsets or annoys walking on egg shells

Growth and change are seen as negatives
Relationships have to evolve in order to last “Why can’t things just stay like this” is a long-term relationship killer At some point someone will want more and the other will start feeling left out and make it an issue either directly or passively

Reminiscing on the beginning instead of looking toward the future
Constantly thinking about when you first met and how it was, and holding onto that even tho the current situation is nothing like that Fantasizing about what used to be is not healthy or realistic

You’re just not happy anymore
You don’t have to justify your happiness You should feel supported and capable of doing anything When things fall apart, this person should give you stability

10 things to stop being a toxic person

Stop assuming you’re better or worse than anyone else
Stop being an egomaniac Stop thinking your either way better or worse than your partner You experience these both at times and act out in jealousy Try to work towards being healthy Your partner in human just like you with strengths and weaknesses, no one is better or worse

Take some time for yourself
One form of toxicity Is codependency You require a partner to be ok, so put immense expectations on your person Results in disappointment and fighting Time to isolate and get familiar with yourself This could even mean breaking up or taking a break

Seek therapy or some sort of structured support
If you’re toxic, you probably have trauma or emotional baggage that needs to be sorted through
Childhood example of relationships
First step is awareness and next is structured action

Practice meditation or breathing exercises to cool your emotions
If anger feels uncontrollable Sadness is devastating Great way of grounding yourself Woo saw

Be honest with yourself
Hard part is done, youre aware your the toxic one This takes tons of self awareness and guts to come to terms with You need to keep peeling back those layers as to why you act and react the way you do

Lean into the messiness
Realizing your toxic is the beginning Theres months and years of messiness ahead You’re going to have to put in work to function normally There will be mistakes or hiccups along the way Old habits will resurface and make a mess of things Its all good, as long as you’re trying

Take responsibility for your actions
For the first time in a while, its time to own your own mistakes instead of blaming them on someone else Sorrys won’t cut it anymore, actions have to follow

Do the right thing, not the easy thing
Next time your partner is talking about the opposite sex, instead of being passive aggressive try being neutral You don’t have to like being Neutral but you need to work on it anyway

Bite your tongue
Your mouth is what gets you in trouble Stop lashing out Stop nitpicking and calling it (Being honest) practice biting your sharp tongue sometimes saying nothing at all is your best option

Know you are not broken or unlovable, “YOU” just need to heal yourself
Realizing youre toxic can be devastating You start layering up the self hatred This is not useful to you or anyone else Youre just another human doing the best you can You’re not damaged you just require some space to repair yourself