The goal of healing isn't just stopping the crisis. It's ultimately moving into genuine and meaningful connection with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer and his wife, Jody Steurer, as they share ways to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal and relationship betrayal trauma toward connection. The information in these discussions transcends religious and cultural lines, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.
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What I've Learned and Unlearned in 25 Years as a Therapist
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In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. I began my career before the Internet and smartphones were a staple for most adults and teenagers. And, while those inventions are not where problematic behaviors begin, the ease of access …
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What I've Learned and Unlearned in 25 Years as a Therapist - Episode 268
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In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. I began my career before the Internet and smartphones were a staple for most adults and teenagers. And, while those inventions are not where problematic behaviors begin, the ease of access …
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In this episode we explore the journey from identifying as a victim to achieving personal empowerment, particularly in the context of recovering from broken trust and betrayal. The initial protective nature of victimhood can be useful, but has potential to lead to entitlement if prolonged. Join us as we discuss moving beyond victimization by establ…
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Honesty, Trust, and Reactivity - with Dr. Jason Whiting - Episode 266
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Have you ever considered that being brutally honest could be more of a reactive emotion rather than being an authentic communication skill? In this episode we welcome Dr. Jason B. Whiting to discuss the challenges of honesty in our most intimate relationships. From seemingly harmless avoidances of the “full truth”, to outright lies and deception, h…
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Building a Protective Partnership - Episode 265
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Partnership is the foundation of healthy intimacy and connection. In this episode we discuss the necessity of developing a protective partnership that fosters mutual understanding, safety, and commitment beyond monogamy. While it is common for men and women to enter a marriage with different life experiences and expectations around partnership, it …
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The Impact of Betrayal on a Partner's Identity - with Dr. Heidi Hastings - Episode 264
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In this episode we welcome Dr. Heidi Hastings, a marriage and sex researcher, to discuss her research on the impact of betrayal on a partner's identity. Dr. Hastings outlines the five stages of betrayal and self-development, which include innocence, crisis, aftermath, healing, and transformation. Through her research involving diverse women, Dr. Ha…
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In this episode we continue our conversation on self advocacy, focusing on rebuilding trust after betrayal. Considering that a safe person is someone who can be confronted, we explore the important roles of external advocacy, such as interventions, therapists, or community support, in situations where self-advocacy is not effective. While finding e…
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Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ's Light - with Jeni Brockbank - Episode 262
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In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christian faith to help readers navigate their recovery journey. Join us as we cover the importance of boundaries, self-discovery, and the integration of faith in the healing process. Jenny emphasizes that h…
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Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ’s Light - with Jeni Brockbank - Episode 262
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In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christian faith to help readers navigate their recovery journey. Join us as we cover the importance of boundaries, self-discovery, and the integration of faith in the healing process. Jenny emphasizes that h…
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Betrayal trauma can leave the betrayed partner feeling isolated with mountains of self-doubt. Learning to find your voice and advocate for your needs is critical for healing. In this episode we discuss the importance of using your voice to express your needs, especially if the betraying partner is not actively working on their recovery. Oftentimes …
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Power Dynamics in Relationships - with Bonnie Young - Episode 260
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Every relationship has a power dynamic, whether it be equal or an uneven split. Focusing on empathy, generosity, and mutual respect are the keys to balanced relationships. In this episode we welcome Bonnie Young, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss power dynamics in relationships. Through Bonnie's research and clinical practice, sh…
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Being Honest with Yourself Can Change Your Relationship - Episode 259
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When we think of dishonesty in relationships, we often immediately think of the big, life-changing moments such as betrayal. But even very small instances of dishonesty, seemingly harmless, can accumulate and eventually harm the relationship. In this episode we discuss how not being completely truthful about our needs and wants can lead to a lack o…
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Living with Unmet Expectations - Episode 258
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How many of you have the exact life that you mapped out when you were younger? The perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect life, where everyone does exactly what you want them to? It’s pretty fair to say that how life plays out is vastly different than what we picture in our heads, especially considering that the people in our lives get to choose…
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A Deeper Look at Forgiveness and Apologies - with Lisa Stoddard-Reeves - Episode 257
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In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian contexts. Lisa highlights the potential harms of oversimplifying forgiveness, especially in cases of significant betrayals. She examines the different dimensions and types of forgiveness — including extendin…
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Demystifying the Polygraph Test - with Jared Rockwood - Episode 256
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What do you think of when you think of a polygraph test? Do you think of a gimmick you’ve seen on TV, or do you think of a reliable truth-telling device? In this episode we welcome Jared Rockwood, a polygraph examiner with extensive experience and training, to discuss the role of polygraph tests in rebuilding trust after betrayal. Jared explains th…
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Do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to praise someone for a basic action you feel they should automatically be doing? In this episode we have a nuanced discussion about the dynamics between being supportive and appreciative within a relationship, especially when partners start contributing to the relationship after a period of not doing so. We exa…
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When Betrayal Threatens Your Goodness - Episode 254
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Trauma responses can alter how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world. In this episode we focus on managing betrayal trauma and its impact on our self-perception of goodness. While this can be affected through other traumas, betrayal uniquely affects our core identity and sense of safety. Join us as we discuss the importance of boundari…
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"I Meant Well...and Other Words That Kill Relationships" - with Heather Linchenko - Episode 253
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Relationships of every kind make up the fabric of our lives. In this episode we invite Heather Linchenko to join us, author and expert on healthy relationships. Heather discusses her book 'I Meant Well…and Other Words That Kill Relationships,' which offers advice on improving relationships. She shares insights from her experiences working with Step…
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"I Meant Well...and Other Words that Kill Relationships" - with Heather Linchenko - Episode 253
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Sweeping Your Side of the Street - Episode 252
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There are always complex challenges and dynamics in managing one's own recovery after betrayal or broken trust, and it is often tempting to become overly invested in a partner’s recovery journey as well. Perhaps you've heard the recovery metaphor of 'sweeping your side of the street,' and how partners can sometimes fall into patterns of over-contro…
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