This week on the podcast, it is the finale episode, and I am joined by my longtime friend and fellow church kid Ana Hill to talk about the many destructive and toxic teachings and ideas she came up against while growing up in our church, and the ways she has begun to find healing for her damaged and distorted views of God and herself. The conversat…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Ryan George, author of the book, "Hurt and Healed By the Church", to hear his experiences growing up a pastor's son in the IFB movement, and the shocking story of finding out his father was a serial sexual abuser... through a podcast. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of m…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Christy Lynne Wood, author of the book, "Religious Rebels", to talk about her experiences growing up in Bill Gothard's IBLP cult, the detrimental effects of both spiritual abuse and spiritual exploitation, and the freedom that comes with knowing the REAL Jesus. The conversation in this episode is inspired by…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Andres Landaverde, a fellow church kid from my former church organization, to talk about the valuable role critical thinking plays in our faith, as well as the importance of being able to question and wrestle with our beliefs. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my book "…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Rachel Schober, a friend who shares her experiences dealing with both the emotional and spiritual aftermath of leaving her childhood church after discovering its leaders had been covering for a protecting a known pedophile for years. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Aleah Policar, a fellow church kid from my childhood church organization, to discuss the many different ways emotional manipulation and shame were used by her church and its leaders as a response to her not fitting the mold they needed her to. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and th…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Joshua Harris, author of the notorious book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", to discuss the book's lasting impact, as well as the importance of recognizing when our beliefs are negatively affecting others and being able to change our minds. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of m…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Shannon Leyko, a former member of our shared church organization, to talk all about relationships in the church, including the many ways our approach and dynamic with relationships was dictated and influenced by our church's teachings and culture. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics an…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Tiffany Yecke Brooks, author of the book, "Holy Ghosted", to discuss the ways in which spiritual anxiety can be caused by the various methods churches and authoritarian leaders use to gain control. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my book "A Jumble of Crumpled Papers".…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Aldo B. Martin, host of "The Reclamation" Podcast, to discuss why it can be difficult coming to terms with our involvement in a high control religious environment, as well as recognizing the validity of our experiences and the inherent value of sharing our stories. The conversation in this episode is inspire…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Mei Luo, who shares her experiences being groomed to be the poster child of her church's youth ministry, and the model of a perfect Christian, despite her church's simultaneous attempts to brush over and ignore her abusive home life. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Rachel Joy Welcher, author of the book, "Talking Back to Purity Culture", to discuss the roots and harmful effects of a shame and fear based approach to sexuality, as well as how we can change the narrative around purity and our sexual nature. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and th…

In this episode of the podcast, Austin and Lian, the show's first returning guest, discussing the docu-series "Quiet On Set: The Dark Side of Children's Television", which gives a behind the scenes look into the abusive, toxic, and sometimes even heinous experiences of child actors on the sets of some of Nickelodeon's most popular tv shows in the 9…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Liz Mall, host of the "Deconstructing The Myth" podcast, to discuss the role and value of deconstructing and questioning your beliefs, as well as discussing the characteristics and tenets that define a "responsible faith". The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my book "A Ju…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Mary Jo Sharp, a professor of apologetics and author of the book, "Why I Still Believe", to discuss the ways both church's and Christian's hypocrisy and neglect of essential characteristics of God end up misrepresenting who he is. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of my bo…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Mason Thomas, a longtime friend from our shared childhood church, who shares his experiences dealing with the adverse effects of being one of the few church kids who decided not to get baptized and become what our church deemed a "true Christian". The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics an…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Natalie Edmonson, co-founder and executive director of the organization "Berean Holiness", who shares about the damaging effects of growing up in a church culture defined by its members' stringent adherence to its extra-biblical standards and practices. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the top…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by longtime worship leader, author, and founder of "Confessions of A Worship Leader" Branon Dempsey, to discuss the importance of confronting the lies that abuse tries to make us believe, as well as understanding just how truly valuable each of our personal stories are. The conversation in this episode is inspi…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Ryan and Carla Grubb, former leaders in my childhood church organization, who delve into some of the damaging beliefs and practices that eventually led them to leave their church, including wrestling with the idea that their church was the only "true" church. The conversation in this episode is inspired by t…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by spiritual consultant, pastor, and author Remy Diederich, to discuss the ten biggest reasons why people don't leave their spiritually abusive churches, as well as how to navigate a spiritual community or church that promotes toxic faith. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and themes of…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by my childhood friend and fellow church kid Bella Flores, who shares her experiences dealing with the repercussions of growing up in a legalistic youth and college ministry, including her battle with doubts, mental health, and her perception of God and herself. The conversation in this episode is inspired by t…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by spiritual director, therapist, and author Chuck DeGroat, to talk all about narcissism, including its defining traits and characteristics, as well as ways both churches and individuals can heal from and prevent abuse from narcissistic leaders. The conversation in this episode is inspired by the topics and the…

Welcome to Season 2 of The Crumpled Papers Podcast! For the premiere episode of the season, I am joined by my very first youth leader, Tori Dozier, to talk all about... you guessed it... youth group! We cover it all, including the hilarious and meaningful memories and experiences during our time in the youth ministry, our input on the dynamics of a…

This week on the podcast, its the finale episode of season 1, and to celebrate, the tables are being turned, as I look back on all the episodes this season and answer some questions about the things I've learned, season 1's most memorable aspects, as well as what's to come in the future. Stay tuned to the end, as this conversation will be followed …

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Coltin Rohn, a former ministry leader in a sister church organization, who shares his experiences standing up for, and facing the repercussions of his dissenting views of his church's practices, and many of the amazing things he has learned since leaving. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by my friend and fellow church kid Lian Mitchell, to discuss her experiences growing up that eventually led her to decide to leave her childhood church, as well as how to navigate the times when our life goes a different direction than what we had planned. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 2…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Marilyn Kriete, to discuss her personal journey with grief, the way her church community navigated her trials, and how a letter written to address their church's problems affected her grief and made her family's name notorious worldwide. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 20, "The Chance t…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by my dad, Robert Noll, to talk about the vitalness of the Holy Spirit's role in our spiritual communities and our personal faith journeys, as well as the damaging repercussions that can result when a church's foundation is not built upon the Holy Spirit. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 19…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Jonathan Martin, author of the book "The Road Away From God", to talk about navigating the loneliness and uncertainty that many find themselves experiencing after leaving the safety and security of a spiritual community behind. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 18, "A Lonely Road", in my …

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Jenn Moeller, who shares her experiences growing up in the church, and gives us personal examples from her own story of the ways our negative experiences can leave us with unwanted cynicism. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 17, "Cynics and Sponges", in my book "A Jumble of Crumpled Paper…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Kat Wordsworth, author of "Let's Talk About Doubt", to... well... talk about doubt! In our conversation, we discuss the misconceptions we can have about doubt, the way it is perceived and navigated by many spiritual communities, and the opportunity it offers us for growth. This episode follows the topics and…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Karl and Laura Forehand, co-authors of the book "Out Into The Desert" and co-hosts of "The Desert Sanctuary" podcast. We talk all about the aftermath of leaving the safety and security of your spiritual community, and venturing into "The Desert", where you may just find an unexpected freedom in the uncertain…

This week on the podcast, it's just me and you, as I explain the meaning of the metaphor "A Jumble of Crumpled Papers", and discuss the daunting process of re-evaluating our beliefs and replacing toxic ideas with healthy ones. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 14, "A Jumble of Crumpled Papers", in my book "A Jumble of Crumpled P…

This episode is PART 2 of 2. This week on the podcast, I am joined by my mom, Robin Noll, to let her share her side of many of my experiences that I narrate in my book. She shares her experience going through the process of recognizing the unhealthy, toxic elements of our church, attempting to fight for change, and ultimately deciding it was time t…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by my mom, Robin Noll, to let her share her side of many of my experiences that I narrate in my book. She shares her experience going through the process of recognizing the unhealthy, toxic elements of our church, attempting to fight for change, and ultimately deciding it was time to leave. This episode is PART…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Jon Augustine, a former Los Angeles campus ministry leader, who dissects the pros and cons of some of the central elements of campus ministry culture, and helps paint a healthier picture for what college church culture could be. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 12, "Running On Empty", in…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Jeff Morrell, a former member and leader of my childhood church, as we take an honest look back at his time on staff, discussing what was done in a healthy way, and what ideas and practices may have been damaging and should be done differently. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 11, "A Cul…

This week I am joined by Luci Coblentz and Sovi Louise, sisters who grew up in an Amish community, and ran away together when they were 17 and 20. In this episode they share some of their incredible story and offer some amazing insight into both the similarities and differences between Amish culture and many modern Christian churches, particularly …

This week on the podcast, I am joined by author, life coach, and certified Grief Recovery Specialist Sandi Derby as she helps unpack the idea of "spiritual abuse", including the symptoms, causes, and damaging effects it can have on individuals and spiritual communities. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 9, "What Is Spiritual Abu…

This week on the podcast, it's just me, and it's story time! In this episode I delve into my experiences in my church's high school ministry when a girl and I began to develop feelings for each other, and how the church responded and navigated our relationship. I cover topics such as where the ultimate authority falls in a young person's life, and …

This week on the podcast, I am joined by longtime friend Lisi Axelson to talk about our shared experiences growing up in the same church. In this episode we unpack the wrongful shame and lasting effects that resulted from a game of truth or dare as kids, she shares about growing up being treated as an outcast and “the example of what NOT to do” by …

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Blake Guichet, host of the "Confessions of A Crappy Christian" Podcast and author of a new book of the same name. Our conversation is all about imperfection, and the repercussions that often result from churches doing everything in their power to make sure people stay as far away as possible from messing up.…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Dulce Johnson, creator and owner of "The Honest Messy Life", to discuss the defining tenets of fear, including its origin, motivation, and above all its damaging effect on both individual believers and spiritual communities as a whole. This episode follows the topics and themes of Chapter 5, "The Fragility o…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by my friend Nicole Huynh to discuss our experiences in the same church, talking about the ways unhealthy churches and spiritual environments tend to view and navigate "The Outside World", aka any ideas, beliefs, practices, even people who don't fit in with what they believe. This episode follows the topics and…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by Jonathan Carone, creator and co-host of the "Unlearning Youth Group" Podcast, as we talk about one of the staples of the Christian church camp experience... Cry Night. Our conversation also includes examining the role that emotion plays in church, as well as the difference between intention and expression. T…

This week on the podcast, I am joined by the owner of the popular online community "Christians Who Curse Sometimes", as we talk about some of the defining tenets of Contemporary Christian Culture, as well as discussing the pursuit of perfection, the value of authenticity, and the stigmas of controversial topics in many modern churches and spiritual…

Episode 1 is finally here, and to kick our journey off, we're talking all things "church kid" with Isabel, Meigan, and Janai from "The Spacemakers Podcast"! In our conversation we cover topics such as the hallmarks of the church kid experience, as well as both the positive and negative effects of growing up in church. Strap in. This is just the beg…

This was not an episode I thought I'd be making.. On December 31, 2022, an article was published on "Rolling Stone" detailing a federal claim that was filed against my childhood church and it's affiliated organizations for, among other things, multiple incidents of both facilitating and concealing sexual abuse.In this bonus episode, I discuss the d…

Welcome to the Crumpled Papers Podcast! This is the intro episode. In board game terms, this is the starting tile where all the game pieces go before the game actually starts. And this episode tells you everything you need to know about who we are, what we are, and what you have to look forward to on the horizon! Get your copy of “A Jumble of Crump…