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The State of Men

Mike Watts & Aydian Dowling

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The State of Men is hosted by two Elder Millennial work-from-home-Dads, Mike Watts (cis man) and Aydian Dowling (trans man). A funny and real-life approach to being Men in the 2020s The State of Men is taking a deep dive into masculinity to talk about what we do, and why we do it. We believe a better future for our world is in part the responsibility of the Men in it. We invite all men to do the work and fix their shit, so we can leave a legacy we are proud of. Societally, men have been brai ...
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show series
 
Mike & Aydian discuss in this podcast our dreams and how we have been limiting ourselves in our life. We evaluate how impactful we are being with this project, The State of Men. We are explaining why this project or podcast isn’t the right project for us at the moment. We both want to be doing something that is empowering for both of us and we expl…
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Jason Rosario is Chief Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Officer at BBDO Worldwide. Today, Aydian and Mike talk with Jason about the power of Vulnerability, what it means to have outlets for our emotions, and why sometimes you need to step away in order to truly step up. Listen to hear more of Jason’s personal journey of how he got to be the man he is …
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Summary In today’s episode, Mike & Aydian interview Larry D Moore about crypto and its future. He explains how he transitioned into full-time trading after entering the crypto rabbit hole. He also dives into the complete shift that is happening inside of our financial systems. We also covered the importance of having access to things. - We define w…
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Today, Aydian and Mike talk with Mike’s Mom, Michelle Watts. In this episode, we get some more details on how Mike grew up. Michelle raised her three kids, while her husband traveled for work, and after moving many times ended up long-term in Indiana. We get some insights on what it was like as a Mid-West Mom, raising a firecracker like Mike, and h…
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Summary: Today, Aydian and Mike talk with a scientist, educator, lawyer, and founder of “Be More with Anu” - Anu Gupta. Anu and the men discuss growing as men in a society that is starved for compassion. Anu discusses his work with different races and cultures - helping individuals break implicit biases and navigate from a place of compassion and l…
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Summary: Today, Aydian and Mike talk about their own journeys with money, while they break down the “breadwinner” mentality. Aydian unpacks how his early interactions with money ultimately shaped his perception of monetary success as an adult. While Mike brings his experience of overcoming self-inflicted financing obstacles and understanding his ne…
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Summary: Today, Aydian and Mike discuss the fears that often follow men having daughters. As parents themselves, Mike and Aydian offer a unique perspective on this topic and discuss every aspect from societal expectations to the transference of masculine toxicity to ultimately changing the narrative. Top Take-Aways: Why are men more afraid of havin…
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Summary: Today, Aydian and Mike interview Dr. Juliana Hauser, the doctor who jumps in those hard conversations as she helps people rethink and reimagine sex, sexuality, and relationships. Dr. Juliana tackles the hard questions about finding and honing your agency. Dr. Juliana, Mike, and Aydian discuss bringing men to the table regarding sex, sexual…
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Today, Aydian and Mike are going to reflect on how the past few years have shaped their decisions and dreams going into the new year. From taking yourself too seriously to transforming your goals to a focus on having some serious fun - we are going to touch on it all. So strap in - Mike and Aydian are ready to set the stage to conquer those dreams,…
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Summary: Today Mike and Aydian talk about the elusive work/life balance. The discussion continues on the State of Men as we discover if the true work/life balance exists. Our hosts unpack the pressures placed on having a true work-life balance when your work is anything but conventional. Top Take-Aways: Have you ever felt like there are enough hour…
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Bite Your Tongue or Say Your Peace? Today, Mike and Aydian delve into the always entertaining world of interacting with your family during the holidays. From dated humor to political view, the holidays can be a minefield of emotions and opinions. When do you say something? When is it appropriate and when is it not? Mike and Aydian answer these ques…
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In today’s episode, Mike & Aydian, discuss their journey when it comes to their body images. Mike shares his experience over the past few years of gaining and losing weight. He also explains more about going through his skin journey and how that has affected his view of his body. Aydian shares his journey with his eating disorder and how he was und…
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Today we are talking about how Aydian and Mike deal with their anger. As men, we are never taught how to appropriately deal with our anger. Anger is an emotion and there is nothing wrong with expressing anger. It becomes an issue when we start to take the anger out on other people or things around it. Being unable to express our anger in a healthy …
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During this episode, Aydian and Mike talk about doing end-of-the-year planning and preparing for the next coming year of 2022. In this episode, we covered the importance of planning your year and how to go about preparing for the upcoming year. It is important to map out the year so everyone on the team and the family have a plan for the upcoming y…
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Mike and Aydian talk about what they are grateful for this year. Gratitude comes in little and big ways for each of us. Keeping an awareness of the things we are happy about in our lives is a great way to remind us that most times, it ain’t that bad. What are you grateful for? Top Take-Aways: Thanksgiving Day traditions Aydian and Mike list 5 thing…
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Take the Challenge: Click here Summary: Aydian and Mike explain the difference between a good guy or an unintentional asshole. One of the sayings men carry around is the fact they don’t think they are like the men that are causing harm to people in their lives because they are good guys. Everyone else is the asshole. Top Take-Aways: The details for…
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Summary: Aydian and Mike delve into the conversation and controversy around the Urban Meyer video circulating on news and social media. Everyone seems to have an opinion and the guys parse out what the video of the Jacksonville Jaguars coach includes, its impact and repercussions, and what it says about masculinity and relationships today. Top Take…
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In today’s episode of the podcast, Mike Watts & Aydian Dowling dig into the weird things men do to prove their manliness. Do you find yourself denying how cold it is and telling everyone you’re fine when you are freezing? What is it about acknowledging that you are cold equates to weakness or non-manliness? Why on earth are bandaids emasculating? T…
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In today’s episode of the podcast, Mike Watts & Aydian Dowling discuss struggle and masculinity. Listen in as the guys unpack the idea that men need to always push through when struggling. What supports do you use when you are struggling and do you allow yourself to lean on them? What is your inner monologue when things get difficult? In this episo…
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In today’s episode of the podcast, Mike Watts & Aydian Dowling dive into an article they read called Why do Men Die Earlier? Men on average are living on average 5.5 years less than women. We discuss why it is important to find a doctor that feels they are working for you instead of you working for them. They also explain how we are letting go of a…
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Mike and Aydian unpack modern fatherhood, digging into their own experiences as fathers, the impact of how they were parented by their fathers, and how fatherhood has shifted in America over the last three generations. What impact do media portrayals of fatherhood have on learning to be a father? How do men learn to become fathers? Top Take-Aways: …
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Mike and Aydian discuss why men only comprise one-third of all people who go to therapy. Is it that men don’t want help? Many men equate getting help with weakness and do not seek out mental health professionals. Has society imposed expectations on men that don’t encourage men to get help? Top Take-Aways: Many men equate getting help with weakness …
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Mike and Aydian dive into what it means to have fun as a grown man. Do you have rituals around preparing to have a good time? At what point do you remember societal pressure imposing on what was considered “age-appropriate fun”? Do we conflate productivity with joy? How do you define fun for yourself? Top Take-Aways: Do you need mind-altering subst…
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Summary Mike Watts and Aydian Dowling discuss the cultural myth that men are bad at relationships. Are men really only capable of transactional relationships with other men? Can men invest emotionally in platonic relationships? Why is the dominant paradigm that men want to “fix” others rather than be vulnerable and authentic? Top Take-Aways Moving …
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Mike and Aydian dissect the movie, Luca. They dive into the friendship between boys, masculinity in friendship, and queer subtext in the film. Why is it that we don’t see more fictional depictions of caring and platonic friendship between boys? What is it about the depiction (or lack thereof) of queerness in a mainstream film that causes the queer …
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Have you found yourself wondering what parenting means to the modern man in America? How do men show up as fathers in 2021 and do what is best for their kids, partners, and selves? This week Aydian Dowling and Mike Watts discuss the top lessons they have learned as fathers committed not to perfection but showing up as their best selves. Top Take-Aw…
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Mike Watts and Aydian Dowling discuss what it took to get this podcast from idea to reality including: - How they handled unexpected life events impacting the launch. - What books and resources helped them reframe their life views. - How to opt into what feels right in the face of uncertainty Listen in as they talk about how the best-laid plans can…
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Mike Watts and Aydian Dowling discuss the language and terminology listeners will commonly encounter in the podcast including those concerning gender, sexuality, and pronouns. They dig into the evolution of words, how some terms are permissible depending on who is using them, and if there are words that should not be used at all. Join the guys to u…
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In their first episode, “Who We Are and Why We are Here,” Aydian Dowling and Mike Watts lay the foundation for their groundbreaking podcast: The State of Men. We get the inside scoop of how they met, their hopes for the modern man, and how they plan on helping us there. They waste no time opening up about themselves while setting the stage for an a…
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