Long-time friends Don Griffin, Jr. and Amy Makice, LCSW explore societal issues through the authentic lens of relational-cultural practices. ’My Racist Friend’ is a podcast about the messy parts of relationships that help us grow together. Through the authentic lens of their strong mutual relationship, their goal is to model difficult conversations that can promote understanding and connection in a world that needs both.
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Game developer Christian Telesmar, creator of 'Disparity Trap', joins Amy and Don Griffin, Jr. in a crossover episode with the "Cadre" podcast to discuss Christian's board game about the game of real life. Christian explains the origins of the game and joins Don in speculating about expansion rules. Christian Telesmar attended college at the Univer…
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In this episode, hosts Don and Amy discuss the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia, a tragic and often overlooked part of American history. They delve into the background of the MOVE organization, the events leading up to the bombing, and the aftermath, including the impact on the surrounding neighborhood. The conversation also touches on broader themes o…
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Episode 4.09: Here To Help - A Tribute to Dr. Dolores Finger Wright
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32:56
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Amy and Don discuss the loss of a dear friend and colleague, Dr. Dolores Finger Wright, by reflecting on their brief experiences with her and her impact in how she lived. This podcast includes excerpts from Dr. Wright's appearance on this podcast in 2019 (season 1, episode 8) and clips from her appearance in the 2017 documentary "Tell Them We Are R…
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Don and Amy play with the RCT Toybox cards, focusing on a discussion around three concepts: relational movement, guilt, and calm. Resources mentioned in this episode: • "Wired to Connect" (book) https://amybanksmd.com/#av-tab-section-1-2-link • "The Jenks Presents Wired To Connect with Amy Banks, M D" (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBzQjie…
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Amy and Don dive into the intricacies of popular music and the persistent racism evident in how we react to it. They react to Beyoncé's new hit "Texas Hold'em" and her venture into the country genre, looking at the resistance from certain factions of society and questioning the inherent racial prejudice within it. Resources mentioned in this episod…
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Don and Amy contemplate Paul Simon lyrics to prompt a discussion of shared suffering and challenges of staying engaged to work toward better things. Other topics along the way include finding a purpose for persisting, news of the death of Nex Benedict, being authentic about your own pain, and love's powerful role in driving life. Resources mentione…
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In this episode, Don and Amy are discuss two RCT concepts: Model Me and Relational Images, those unconscious expectations that shape our interactions. Along the way, the pair talk about self-perceived flaws, binge-watching habits, societal pressures, and negativity fueling success. My Racist Friend is a podcast about the messy parts of relationship…
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Episode 4.04: Katt and Cats and Chicken and T-Rexes
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Don and Amy are joined by Jay Filer, a therapist-in-training at the Bloomington Center for Connection, to take a tour of Black Joy (specifically, their Black joy) found on social media. The conversation covers struggles with and benefits of use of social media, as well as some examples of what makes Jay laugh. After this conversation, TikTok remove…
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In this episode, hosts Amy Makice and Don Griffin Jr. delve into a thought-provoking conversation about the media's role in shaping perspectives and in turn, dividing society. The discussion ventures into the RCT concepts of "Model Me" and "Not Me" by Dr. Maureen Walker, exploring how extreme identification and fear can obstruct empathy, leading to…
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Don and Amy resume their conversation together with a discussion about needing to feel smart, the ignorance of believing you know everything, and being around people who are willing to work through mistakes. Resources mentioned in this episode include: Tyriq Memorial Fund (GoFundMe) https://www.gofundme.com/f/tyriq-memorial-fund Neighbor of house p…
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Amy and Don return from a long hiatus to continue their conversations about relationships and the messy parts that make connection difficult. This week, the friends discuss Essentialism, which is found in many social movements and intertwines with racism, transphobia, and the roots of feminism. Amy provides a definition of essentialism and why it i…
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Episode 3.11: Making Room for Cognitive Dissonance
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43:41
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This week, Amy and Don welcome Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew into their conversation. Dr. Booker-Drew is the Vice President of Community Affairs & Strategic Alliances for the State Fair of Texas and shares some of her experiences and insights working with the non-profit community. Additional resources: "Froswa' Booker-Drew: A Champion for South Dallas No…
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Prompted by announcements of a price increase for water services and a home-buying incentive to attract new police officers, Amy and Don discuss the complexities of government funding and the mission of policing, sharing some stories of encounters where police were called. Additional resources: "Bloomington City Council Approves 18% Water Rate Incr…
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Don and Amy welcome back Dr. Amy Banks, who brings her co-author, Isaac Knapper, to discuss their upcoming book, "Fighting Time"—a story of their 36-year journey from murder to meeting. Dr. Banks' father, Ronald, was shot and killed on April 29, 1979, as he left the Hyatt Regency hotel in New Orleans. Isaac, who along with Amy was 16 at the time, w…
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Episode 3.08: Mr. Griffin Goes to Morton Street
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29:31
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Don confirms his good news about a role change that will have him playing a large role in bridging and resolving issues within the Bloomington community. Amy shares her joy for Don as he takes on a new challenge, as well as apprehensions about increased criticism. Also included are some brief discussion of "Coming to America" and poet Amanda Gorman…
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Don and Amy start this week's discussion with a job listing by the Indianapolis Museum of Art at Newfields that sought a director to “attract a broader and diverse audience while still maintaining the Museum’s traditional, core, white art audience.” The conversation also includes antique shops selling symbols of white supremacy in Oregon, students …
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Episode 3.06: Uncle Buck Goes to Washington
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After talking about racism evident in a couple national news stories, Amy brings a recent example of her own racism to discuss with Don. Together, they dive deep into taking responsibility for making anti-oppression training easier, the need to let other people in relationships voice their own experience with harm, and the limited role listening an…
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Don and Amy discuss the Strategies of Disconnection, a key concept in Relational-Cultural Theory about the practice of hiding parts of yourself in order to maintain relationships. Amy also talks with Don about some recent news items that land on the Racism Radar—including a Southern Baptist pastor and Bloomington's new Racial Equity Task Force—and …
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Episode 3.04: The Venn Diagram of GameStop
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36:20
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After overcoming some technical problems, Don joins Amy for a wide-ranging conversation about national politics and the possibility of the GameStop short squeeze becoming common ground for both ends of the political spectrum. The friends touch on a few items in the news, including the local challenges of providing shelter for unhoused people who ha…
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Fresh off of another successful peaceful transition of power in the U.S.—and despite attempts to the contrary two weeks earlier—Don and Amy enjoy the moments of joy that broke through the clouds in the form of President Joe Biden's inauguration, even as they acknowledge the problems that persist. The highlight of that event for many came from poet …
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Amy and Don discuss a statement from the Monroe County Black Democratic Caucus seeking transparency in the search for a new superintendent to head the local school corporation. This conversation covers the importance of representation and the problems inherent in sustaining a Good-Ol'-Boy network. The friends also note the similarities between the …
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Back after a holiday hiatus, Don and Amy try to catch up on the events of the day: an attack on the U.S. Capitol building that delayed the certification of electoral votes for President and Vice-President. Discussion includes reactions by various groups, the comfort of being believed, and the differences in approach to mob actions by police. Additi…
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Don and Amy are joined by Dr. Maureen Walker in discussing disruptive empathy and the challenge of engaging across difference, especially when part of that difference rejects the humanity of the other. They also explore the persistence of white supremacy across our history and within groups that are not white. This episode contains several mentions…
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Amy and Don share their "After-election Word Barf" to reflect on a projected victory for Joe Biden and end to the Donald Trump administration. While recognizing lots of work and difficult times remain, the friends discuss the challenges of talking to people mired in fear and end with a list of three good things that lift their spirits. Additional r…
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As Election Day approaches, Amy and Don talk about efforts to put social workers in the local police department, and the problems inherent in that approach. Don shares the second half of a story he started in a previous episode about being harassed by local law enforcement. Plus, a little more Lovecraft Country and a plug to watch Schitt's Creek. I…
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Episode 2.26: Sharing the Messy Parts of Relationships
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Don and Amy participated in a virtual session at the Flyover Podcast Festival, hosted online by Dimension Mill on October 8-9, 2020. In their session—"Sharing the Messy Parts of Relationships"—they talked about how they started this podcast, the impact it has had, and what they hope to accomplish by continuing to share their conversations. Thanks t…
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Fresh news that Donald Trump was hospitalized after contracting coronavirus is fodder for a discussion about loving kindness toward harmful people and the generational traumas of both enabling and suffering oppression. Amy and Don talk about the importance of making the negative impact of power visible, because you can't change what you won't ackno…
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Episode 2.24: Standing at the Wall of the Middle School Dance
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Our friends discuss threatening comments posted in response to Don sharing an article on Facebook about vehicles being used as weapons against protestors, and the limits of engaging violent speech. Amy and Don share their frustration and confusion about exchanges irreconcilable with their desire to connect across differences. Plus, more examples of…
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Lovecraft Country again serves as a catalyst for conversation, with a recent episode of the TV series touching on the dangers to Black residents when integrating white neighborhoods. Don and Amy talk about school districting and home purchases, sparking an eclectic conversation that includes cultivating community and the recurring trauma Black peop…
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Episode 2.22: Living in Lovecraft Country
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Don and Amy discuss the impact of the new HBO series 'Lovecraft Country' (while trying to avoid any spoilers) and how it relates to the local and national stress surrounding race in America. Don shares an experience near his home confronting a group protesting the Bloomington mayor in support of law enforcement, and how his courage to challenge rac…
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Amy and Don talk about a neighborhood petition to rename "Dixie Street" in Bloomington, reflecting on both small meaningful actions and empty gestures. Their conversation covers the presence and suggestion of racism in the songs we sing and the media we watch. NOTE: This is the first episode of the pandemic where these two friends were in the same …
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Episode 2.20: Half-Pint Grunge Is Your Target Market
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44:52
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Prompted by a recent essay calling for an end to using the pejorative 'Karen', Amy wrestles with how sexism interferes and overlaps with anti-racism work. She and Don discuss how they participate in the systems they want to change—even while they are being hurt—and the importance of being authentic in a world that values power. Additional resources…
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Episode 2.19: Racism Has Become Patriotism
1:00:57
1:00:57
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After a holiday weekend filled with racist acts and protest drew the world's attention to Bloomington, Don and Amy talk through their reactions to these events and how they are processing the visible violence in their community. Don revisits a childhood incident in a new light, and they discuss the fear that results from acts of terrorism. Addition…
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Amy reflects on the childhood memory shared by Don in the previous episode and the difficulty in reconciling racism in someone she loves. Together, they revisit a painful moment for Don at an awards program in which they both participated, and Amy tries to reconcile the racism she carries. Additional resources: "The Violence of white (and non-Black…
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Episode 2.17: Don't Let It Be a Pumpkin Spice Moment
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In this week's conversation, Don wrestles with what to do with the anger aggregating with each news alert, racist Facebook post, and recalled memory. In processing how that anger has changed over time, Amy talks about our inclination to diminish or dismiss harm done by people we like. Warning: The cursing was not edited out for this episode, and (s…
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Don and Amy discuss the ongoing protests against police brutality, including both the large gathering in Bloomington on June 5 and (briefly) an inflammatory statement by the Broadening Inclusion Group of the local farmer's market that same day. They try to process some of the recent instances of violence against protestors and discuss the role RCT …
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The last week of May was draining. The murder of George Floyd under the knee of the Minneapolis police was set up by Amy Cooper's 911 call and stalled justice for Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many others. Don and Amy reflect on the barrage of events since their previous conversation, including the resulting protests of police brutality around…
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After over two weeks of fever, Amy reunites with Don online for a catch-up discussion that covers opening the state before we're ready, the value of local response to helping each other, and the role of connection when someone is being bullied. The two friends also talk about raising the bar on expectations for political leaders and our shared desi…
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With the inclusion of psychiatrist Dr. Amy Banks on the weekly Zoom call, Don talks with two Amys this week about racism at work when discussing police shootings and gun control. Dr. Banks explains the neuroscience that bakes our prejudices into our minds and body, and they talk about the value of recalling positive relational moments to help your …
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On the cusp of Indiana announcing plans to re-open parts of the state's economy, Amy and Don invite Dr. LaShawn Williams to join their conversation from her Utah home. They discuss the response to 'Karen' and the power dynamics embedded in the that slang term. They also discuss the risks of opening up states too soon and who carries the brunt of th…
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As state governors take the forefront in determining how long and to what extent stay-at-home orders exist, Don and Amy check in with each other about new challenges that come with hitting Pause on familiar routines. They talk about the impact illness and sickness have had on their mood and about the changes that will need to happen for our country…
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From their respective homes, Amy and Don connect through Zoom to update each other on the continued challenges of remaining at home. They explore the tensions between feeling gratitude for what privilege provides and feeling empathy toward those for whom a pandemic is risk to health and financial stability. The two friends speculate on what current…
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With birds and dogs in the background, Don and Amy catch up on another week of stay-at-home life and trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. The friends talk about taking action, as well as the need to be and privilege of being vulnerable. They also share what things are giving them hope in these stressful times. Additional resources: "Secret of Life - Jam…
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A week into spring break, Don and Amy talk about how they are coping with the stay-at-home order from Indiana Governor Holcomb. In their discussion, they talk about how the COVID crisis is forcing us to wrestle with our humanity and our responsibility toward both the planet and each other. Additional resources: Indiana News Releases from Governor E…
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On the cusp of a stay-at-home order from the state of Indiana, Don and Amy try to stay connected through technology. During their Zoom conference, the friends talk about the uneven impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, the assumptions of our previous lives, and the challenges of evolving old routines in face of the current crisis. Additional resources: …
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Episode 2.6: Mourning the Brother Man Hug
31:15
31:15
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Back in simpler times—aka a week ago—the social realities of living in a pandemic were just sinking in. Amy and Don follow an initial conversation about presidential politics with discussion of how the COVID-19 outbreak was disrupting their lives, including a desire to hug. The situation has changed rapidly since this conversation took place, and s…
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Prompted by an episode from another podcast, Amy shares her thoughts on disentangling her identity from Hoosier basketball. She and Don talk about the recent return of former Indiana University head basketball coach Bob Knight to Bloomington and what it was like to grow up in his shadow, unpacking some of the problematic underpinnings of his behavi…
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This episode, Don and Amy invite two guests into their conversation. Aleisha Kropf asks Dr. LaShawn Williams to help her explore what it means to discover your hometown was a Sundown Town, even when you don't visit anymore. Along the way, the group discusses the culture of silence, parenting children of color, and passing as a means of survival. Ad…
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Amy and Don explore the value and challenges of getting in the MUD—Mystery, Uncertainty, and Doubt—where vulnerability creates space for change. They look at bias in a local newspaper article on Sarah Dye, a white supremacist who remains entrenched in the Bloomington Farmers Market, and discuss the varied reaction to the recent Super Bowl halftime …
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Don and Amy reflect on their growth since the first episode of Season One, revisiting the role of a non-violent approach and the importance of staying connected to hold space for change. The January 19th sermon by Dr. Maureen Walker and Jada Bee's talk on dismantling white supremacy can be found in the Universalist Unitarian live stream archives. B…
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