My name is Shevvy, aka Brian. This podcast is my attempt at mental health & things often left unsaid. Here I explore all sorts of various personal thoughts that many of us probably don't usually feel comfortable talking about. Completely unprofessional, but I am on a quest, learning about our minds and understanding myself. Trying to help others who are curious about these sensitive topics of humanity. Hopefully this promotes thought. Also on: https://player.fm/series/where-is-my-mind-former ...
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One characteristic that has a common denominator in basically all of my adult relationships has been: CODEPENDENCY Being codependent is, for one, a Free Manipulation card for narcissists. It also can be the biggest barrier from creating and maintaining your true sense of self, and most importantly, it drives potentially decent partners away! As a r…
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I am back after a break. I am joined by a guest host, Bruce, a good friend of mine. We are discussing current life, and the layers that we have as human beings. We all have layers, it just depends on how much we are willing to show to others. Depending on our level of vulnerability, how secure or insecure we are, who we are around, etc... Thank you…
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The Importance of Finding Gratitude when Life Sucks
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You know, my life kinda...sucks right now! But I am FINALLY figuring out, after nearly three months, that I CANNOT go on thinking negatively. Because when you do that....it invites more negativity into your life. The key, I had heard and am now finding, is truthfully and meaningfully practicing GRATITUDE. --- Support this podcast: https://podcaster…
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This is a conversation I had with my two closest peoples, Nikkole and Kinsley (I just call him Logen). Everybody, I believe, has multiple different personalities that we access and utilize throughout our lives. They change with environment, the company we are around, and how our moods are. Also, take into account D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disor…
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Philosophy - Power of the SELF (Existentialism)
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The philosophy of Existentialism, made popular by German philosopher Frederik Nietzsche. Every action (cognitive function) I have ever done has been ultimately my own doing. Because I follow no one; I only choose my own destiny, based on MY decisions and core values. Every effort to avoid discomfort is my own doing. And I don't do anything that my …
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Joining me again is Zen Kinsley on the concept of "Home." Being homeless, the concept of home is a sensitive subject...Here, I discuss what HOME actually is to us. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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I've Lost my Sense of Self & Meaning...What do I do Now?
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I have experience of massive life upheaval, and my sense of self is all fucked up. However, during this time, I have found new love, and I am getting over the trauma bond, little by little. Have you ever struggled with your meaning? How did you get it back? I struggle every day....and this is how I am attempting to get back to myself. --- Support t…
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Pain & Love: Our Brains' Own Natural Drugs
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I am at a frightening crossroads in my life; due to many different forks and turns in the road in my life, I now find myself homeless, and my future unknown. Anxiety is a constant greeter of mine, I feel a plethora of hurt and pain. However, these emotions can be countered with, and certainly not felt without LOVE. Cortisol, Dopamine and Oxytocin a…
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This is Trauma Bonding: My Personal Experience
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The term "trauma bond," has become a popular thing these days in the internet psychology and relationship world. It took me 5 months to realize what exactly what happening with my relationship, and myself. DISCLAIMER: I still have no ill intentions towards the Antagonist of this episode. Mental illness affects so many individuals, and it is not any…
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"Be Who You Really Are" (from the vaults 10/05)
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I have a lot of unpublished recordings, the majority of which I don't remember making. This one is 3 months to the date recorded, and I think it has some rather substantial words. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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I have finally touched upon the subject of "The Universe." It is a quintessential force that flows through us all. It determines what our next path will be like, the adversities we face. and, if you do stuff right, how positive your next outcome will be. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support…
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Accepting Our Feelings...The Best We Can.
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The title explains it all --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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This is a topic that I have just began pondering and researching...and this is what I have gathered thus far. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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It took me a long time, primarily after the fact, to recognize and realize what my "Shadow Side" truly is. Check it out, and reflect on yourself. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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As I re-immerse myself into the podcast world, I must own up to my own fallacies and infrequencies of what I have lost, gained, lost again, etcetera, etcetera. Fuck, what a mindfuck. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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I have finally returned. Surely not begun anew, in a wonderful place! No...quite from a place of feeling small, unloved, unheard, uncared for...But, if I may repair one...less unheard? So...My entire "love history," told from a true INFP, who, at age 33, is still feeling misunderstood in this world. Here I am, in all of my ugliness. --- Support thi…
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Many individuals could be defined as "People Pleasers." Something in your past...maybe a parental figure...acted towards you in a way that said YOU WEREN'T ENOUGH. So now you spend your precious free time on the attempt to make others happy, sacrificing your own needs. It is OKAY to say no sometimes! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spo…
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iF THIS IS YOUR FIRST EPISODE, Omg go back like -2-3 epsodes and I promsie you, the qualiy si good tjere Rule of thumb: Don't attempt to make meaningful recording whilst you are tired and inebriated. ... Drunk and exhausted, I discuss how social anxiety shaped my life, and what it is. 'Nuff said. ... Thank you for listening to this crap...means the…
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Spontaneous Short: Understanding Yourself and Others...
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I spontaneously recorded my feelings about understanding other people for who they are... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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WIMM Disclaimer (contains speech impairment)
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I am realizing that right now, in 2022, mental health self-care is a trend. I want to say, with all disclosure and honesty, I did not start my podcast (my LEGACY) to jump on a bandwagon. Thanks for hearing me out. ALSO I apologize for the stuttering. I was not alone while recording this, and that sometimes makes me self-conscious, resulting in fast…
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As a Man, Can I be Sensitive? (the HSP Male)
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This is one that I'm surprised at myself for not having recorded on earlier. As an INFP personality type, it isn't too awful surprising that I am also an HSP, aka a Highly Sensitive Person. Now, we who define ourselves as the male gender were often told not to be sensitive...But what if that sensitivity was actually a personality trait, passed down…
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The concept of being "good enough," in either our own or someone else's eyes, is quite subjective, and is dependent on various factors. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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Sigmund Freud is certainly old school, but he wasn't wrong. Our chilhoods, especially the way we were treated by and interacted with our peers and parents, effect us to this day. So then why is it so rare to find an LCSW (what almost every "therapist" short of a licensed psychologist is) that actually addresses these issues? These are my opinions o…
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I had a conversation the other day that reminded me of something I talked about in one of my shitty TikTok videos (My usual outlet for 3 minute long insights and/or rants). So...dem angry lyrics, ya? :3 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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Forms of Narcissism I have Experienced (It's in us all)
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Here, I give prime examaples of narcissism that I have experienced in my life. I am not necessarily talking about NPD, but the traits of narcissism. We all have them, to varying degrees. Sometimes, looking out for #1 is considered as such. Sometimes, people are manipulating you and you don't even know it. These are just some things I have observed …
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It's natural to dislike the generation of men, women and beyond that come after us. After all, we weren't raised that way, right?! Yeah, WTF! But...what if Generation Z actually has something amazing to offer? This is a message to my fellow Millenials (I was born in '89), as well whomever Gen X-ers are listening; these kids might be onto something …
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This is a fragile subject for me...This one is about confidence. I don't have much of it. Where do you stand on it? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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I had no break to myself before or after work. Oh look! Excuses! So...I fucked this one up. But you know what? I decided to air it anyways. Have fun listening to me, Shevvy, as I ramble, lose my place, and stumble over my words. Love y'all. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support…
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Self-Love seems to be becoming a popular theme these days, and righteously so. Many of us have issues with our relationships; our own insecurities drive away those we love, and it hurts. Joined with co-host Nikkole, Shevvy discusses his journey of finding himself and embracing who he is...Something that so many of us Millenials (and any other demog…
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About one month post-heartbreak, I (Shevvy) am speaking poignantly and realistically from the heart about the true issue with the Gay "Dating" Scene. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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"..Goes Crazy" Follow-Up: BPD Relationship Phases
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I recorded myself while off my psych medications, I was attempting to cope with a heartbreaking breakup with who I thought was the love of my life, and I hadn't slept, etc... On THIS episode, is the follow-up where Shevvy explains the destructive, self-sabotaging behavior in the phases that play out by a person with Borderline Personality SUBCONSCI…
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"What Is Life?" George Harrison Once Asked...
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Returning for another episode, I am joined with my co-host Nikkole to discuss this philosophical episode. What is life? What have I accomplished in my own? What do I still desire to achieve? ...Am I happy? We ramble, YOU think. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support…
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This is a raw recording of myself, Shevvy, at my most vulnerable. I am heart-wrecked, jealous, and overall pissed off. I had missed my super-duper important psych med for a few days, and was quite intense. I am putting myself and my inner emotions out there for all who wish to listen to the BPD thunderstorm inside my head. "Whoooaaa Mama!!" - Johnn…
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Mental Illness Pt. 2 - Major Depression Disorder (Clinical Depression)
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In this episode, I speak with the best person I know who can talk about their Major Depressive Disorder; My friend and ex-girlfriend, Nikkole. We go over the symptoms and traits of clinical depression, how we relate to it, and what we can do to ease the pain. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support…
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Mental illness Pt.1 - Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
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This is part one is my ATTEMPT to cover many personality and mood disorders, one by one. I did an after-hours solo episode. Here, I get deep with you, and with myself, about a highly problematic mental illness that I have personally suffered from for about a decade. Here, you will learn all about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). All the sympt…
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Monogamy VS. Open Relationships - "What's Your Style?"
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Matthew joins in around the halfway mark of this delicate episode discussing monogamy, open relationship styles, and...Well, I tried to touch on Polyamory, but that's a relationship(s) that I cannot wrap my poor head around. What relationship style do you have, if you have one? What style do you desire, outwardly or secretly? We discuss our relatio…
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I feel like we are beginning to get better at this. This episode is a full collaboration between myself, Shevvy, and my partner and confidant, Matthew. In this episode, we discuss how we formed our self-esteem, and what it means to us. How did we deal with things that attacked our self-esteem when we were younger? And how do we deal with it as adul…
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I think this one went better than the first few; We're working hard on getting into the mindset and flow of recording a podcast, and I'm trying to be aware of my speech impediment and overcome it. This night, I discuss (with the help of Matthew), what causes social isolation and loneliness, and the long term effects of it. I talk about my own exper…
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In this solo short episode, I decided to discuss my concerns and predictions regarding Russia, Ukraine, the UN, and the potential threat of escalating war. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drshevvy/support
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Being a solo episode, I rambled on here too much to truly get to the core subject matter...sometimes, we get caught up in our own heads so much, that we can't get to the center. I suppose it can be hard to stay on track with adult ADHD and intoxication. But here it is, my relationship history in as small of a nutshell as I can put it in. Take it or…
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Matthew and I go very in depth on the fragile concept of masculinity. This is a conversation that may make many men feel uncomfortable, but yet it's something that we all think about to ourselves. "What makes me a man?" It's a question that we all ask ourselves at one point. Well, being a man is not all about braun; sometimes, it's letting your gua…
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3AM Thoughts PILOT - Relationship Attachment & Sex
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This is my PILOT episode. My life partner and me discuss our views on sex and relationships, and attachment levels. This is my (our) first episode, so please be patient. This podcast is to discuss (probably late at night) those thoughts that we have in the middle of the night, and things we may, as men, not feel comfortable having a typical convers…
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Understanding Yourself Pt. 1 -- In a Relationship PT. 1
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5:52
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LISTEN TO THIS FIRST. THIS IS THE INITIAL INTRO TO THE PODCAST. If you struggle to understand yourself in various aspects of your life, and find these issues hard to discuss, this is for you. Life partners Shevvy and Matthew explore Relationship attachment styles, sexual status, and childhood trauma. A reminder that we are not professionals in any …
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