Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "NOW WHAT?", and "Red Flags". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on ...
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Dear DSO: "I'm Divorced and Ready to Get Back Out There. Or Am I...?"
13:36
13:36
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13:36
A 50-year-old man, Mister In Between, seeks advice from Ralph on rebuilding his life post-divorce. Diagnosed with depression and mild bipolar disorder, he grapples with isolation, a dead bedroom from a 28-year marriage, and navigating new social dynamics. Ralph discusses the risks and benefits of casual sexual encounters and the potential pitfalls …
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Dear DSO: "My Wife's Illness Is Impacting Our Relationship"
10:33
10:33
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10:33
Ralph tackles a heartfelt query from a listener named "Help," who is grappling with the challenges posed by his wife's debilitating condition, POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). The listener's frustration over a sexless marriage, compounded by the daily struggles of managing a child with autism, paints a vivid picture of marital stra…
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Ralph addresses a poignant message from Lana, a 42-year-old woman facing a significant marital dilemma. Despite being attractive, fit, and highly sexual, Lana struggles with her husband's distant and emotionally abusive behavior. Over their 25 years of marriage, Lana has grown weary of her husband's lack of affection and wonders if the time has com…
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"You Only Do This Because I Told You To! It Doesn't Count!" (from a live stream)
10:26
10:26
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10:26
Ralph addresses Adnor's dilemma about seeking counseling for relationship issues without making it feel like an ultimatum. Drawing from real-life examples, Ralph emphasizes the importance of genuine effort and patience in resolving relationship problems. He discusses the complexities of seeking couples counseling and the necessity of finding a comp…
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Staying Sexy in Long-Term Monogamy.... is it Possible? (from live stream)
7:38
7:38
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7:38
Can a couple's sex life be sustainable over a the life of strict long-term monogamy? In this episode, Ralph explores the challenges of maintaining a fulfilling sex life as a couple ages. From the honeymoon phase to dealing with disease and aging, he delves into the concept of serial monogamy and why it may be a more realistic solution for many. He …
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"Men shouldn't get in shape... it makes the wife insecure. It's bad for the relationship!"
7:48
7:48
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7:48
A follower on Facebook reached out to me with his point of view about getting in shape. In his mind, it is NOT a good idea! His wife, after all, feels insecure about how he looks, and it has proven to be a negative influence on the relationship. Join our private group, the HFM Brotherhood!By Dad Starting Over
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The Dating Game for Young Adults (from a live event)
6:24
6:24
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6:24
In this episode, Ralph responds to a question from a listener named Candice about the modern dating scene, which veers dramatically from what many parents recall from their youth. Ralph shares a vivid account of his recent experience at his 20-year-old daughter's university homecoming event. What he observes is a stark contrast between hyper-sexual…
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Why Does Female Libido Go Down in Monogamy?! Won't That Scare The Man Away?! (from a DSO Live Stream)
14:00
14:00
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14:00
Sexual desire within monogamous relationships has long been a highly nuanced and widely debated subject. A myriad of psychological and anthropological perspectives suggest a noticeable shift in women's libido after entering into sustained, monogamous partnerships. In discussing this intimate terrain, insights from esteemed voices such as Esther Per…
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Dear DSO: "My Wife Has Suddenly Changed!"
11:19
11:19
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11:19
Harry asks his wife to return to work post-pregnancy, which results in her filing for divorce. Their marriage struggles due to frequent disputes, troublesome family members, and strong feelings. Ralph examines the couple's dynamics, highlighting persistent problems and Harry’s desire for more kids. He recommends that Harry should focus on the well-…
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Dear DSO: "Wife Has Become Withdrawn, Angry, and Has More Mental Breakdowns"
9:14
9:14
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9:14
"Mister Niceguy No More" has written to Ralph about difficulties in his eleven-year marriage, describing his wife's distant and transactional approach to their sex life. This has caused him frustration and feelings of isolation. Ralph examines possible causes such as mental and hormonal health issues and suggests that proactive actions should be ta…
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Dear DSO: "I’m a New Father... And I Was Really Tempted to Cheat (But I Didn’t). Is There Hope for Our Marriage?"
10:58
10:58
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10:58
A reader reaches out to share his stress over being a new father and being tempted to almost cheat on his spouse... What does this mean for him and his marriage?By Dad Starting Over
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Dear DSO: Should I Tell My Wife/Roommate About My Cancer Diagnosis?
10:30
10:30
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10:30
A reader has a great deal of resentment towards his spouse of 13-15 years of a dead bedroom marriage... but he's recently been diagnosed with cancer. Should he tell his wife? In the past, she has displayed some narcissistic tendencies, and tends to make all problems about herself.By Dad Starting Over
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Dad Starting over Is Now Part of the Help for Men Network!
5:36
5:36
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5:36
We are proud to introduce our new brand: Help For Men! You can learn more at helpformen.com. The DSO Fraternity, our private group for men only, will now be known as The HFM Brotherhood. WE are looking forward to reach a wider audience and helping more men from around the world!By Dad Starting Over
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How Often Should The Responsive Desire Person Initiate? (with Dr. Psych Mom - from a Live Event)
10:17
10:17
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10:17
Dr. Psych Mom and Ralph answer a question from a follower: How often should the responsive desire partner actually initiate sex?By Dad Starting Over
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From Brofest 2024 - Ralph Talks About Monogamy and Cheating
10:39
10:39
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By Dad Starting Over
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"How do I stay positive during a long-term dead bedroom marriage?" (From livestream)
14:11
14:11
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14:11
By Dad Starting Over
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Dear DSO: "Is paying a cosplayer on Only Fans considered cheating?"
8:36
8:36
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8:36
In this episode, Ralph addresses a listener's question about whether subscribing to OnlyFans is considered cheating. Ralph emphasizes that it's not about his opinion, but rather what the listener and his spouse think. He advises open communication and setting boundaries. Ralph also cautions against engaging in desperate behavior and encourages self…
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Dear DSO: "Should I fill out mental health forms for my ex?"
9:33
9:33
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9:33
In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and provi…
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DSO and Dr. Pysch Mom Talk About Dead Bedrooms (from a livestream event)
29:38
29:38
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29:38
In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack…
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Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to p…
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Dear DSO: "I Feel Like I'm Stuck in a Dead Bedroom!"
14:35
14:35
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14:35
DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflectio…
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Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scare…
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Should You Continue Doing Family Things with Your Ex? (from a DSO Live Event)
9:42
9:42
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9:42
Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process.…
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Dear DSO: "My Wife is Indifferent About Us."
5:11
5:11
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5:11
In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that b…
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Can You Go From Avoidant to Secure? (from a DSO Live event)
7:05
7:05
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7:05
In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individual…
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