Learning how to do gentle towards yourself can be, for you, the key to loving living life. At least, that's what doing gentle did to me, Helena Roth, once I understood that it was actually an option. Imagine having turned 30+ before ever realizing it's possible to be gentle with myself. From that moment in time, I've re-learned how to be in the world - both inside and outside of myself. Here I will be sharing the tools and tricks I've picked up along the way, hoping it will help you transfor ...
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The wintering will continue, and season four of Meandering Conversations are put on hold. For how long, no one knows. There might be the sporadic pod episode in this feed though, perhaps me reading a few blog posts, the occasional solitary reflection or perhaps a random meandering conversation or two. Who knows. In the meantime, if you need a dose …
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First published on my blog on August 18, 2020. Read the post here → I am no longer willing to let myself be used as the scapegoat. I am no longer willing to step up when others claim that my words, my deeds, my actions, are what angers them, what upsets them or what scares them. Because in truth, it is their reaction to my words, my deeds, my actio…
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First published on my blog on March 31, 2022. Read the post here → Maybe violence isn’t all that bad?! The first time I entertained that statement/question I shocked myself. A long time ago (August of 2013) I wrote a piece entitled Violence is never the answer and I absolutely, one-hundred-percent believed it to be True. Capital T Truth. But now… N…
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First published on my blog on January 23, 2021. Read the post here → The bottom line: Use discernment when choosing the company you keep, in all manners possible. Be it friends, books, newsfeeds or food, drink and exercise. And. So. On. It a l l impacts you, either short-, mid- or long-term. The importance of the people I choose to spend time with,…
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First published on my blog on November 25, 2021. Read the post here → Riffing about an insight from the aftermath of my first divorce, where I had gotten the insight that whatever it was, it would not be accepted by my X, on the grounds of it coming from me. It wasn’t what I said. It wasn’t how I said it. It was that I said it. Or rather… it was th…
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First published on my blog on January 4, 2019. Read the post here → Headed for town, but before I took off on my bike, I packed a towel. Just in case. After recording a pod and having lunch with and at Caspian’s I decided: Yes. Today is the day for the first dip in the sea of the year. So I rode to the pier farthest from town, the one designated fo…
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First published on my blog on September 24, 2017. Read the post here → Listening to Jonathan Fields in conversation with his longtime friend Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project if you’ve read that book? I have. Enjoyed it. This conversation centers around The four tendencies, something which Gretchen apparently touched on in one of her …
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First published on my blog on October 1, 2018. Read the post here → Presence. Closeness. Finding me. In your eyes. Seeing and being seen. In my yes. My no. Lucidity is kindness, as always. To breath; rebirthing, opening up, energies in flux. Loudly. Body contact. Hands caressing my body, soft as a feather. The strength of an arm holding me close. L…
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First published on my blog on June 12, 2020. Read the post here → Betrayal occurs when those who have power see the trouble and look away. Betrayal occurs when people break promises, hedge on vows of help, protection, speaking for, standing with, withdrawing from acts of courage and acting preoccupied, indifferent, unaware, and so forth instead. – …
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First published on Creative Gallery in 2021. Read the post here → Christmas?, I asked, only to hear my mom respond over the phone, without hesitation, No. Ok, I replied, and that was that. Me and the kids, Benjamin at 16 and Alex at 21, at home for Christmas, unlike the normal Christmases, even though normal has never meant exactly the same every y…
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First published on my blog on March 16, 2019. Read the post here → Listens to Jonathan Fields on Good Life Project, interviewing Milton Glaser. Interesting and thought-provoking, as these podcasts usually are. However, one thing stood out enormously in this episode: I’ve spent so much of my life in certainty. Ridiculously so, and only to a certain …
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First published on my blog on March 27, 2020. Read the post here → Last week as I stepped into the cold water of the ocean off the coast of Malmö in the south of Sweden, I had my phone with me. I’ve a habit to do that, now and again, as I record myself going in, staying in, sharing my experiences with cold bathing. What came out of my mouth that cr…
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First published on my blog on July 21, 2021. Read the post here → Intimacy. Into-me-see. What armor do I have on me, preventing you from seeing-into-me? (What armor do I have, preventing me from seeing-into-myself? Oh, that’s perhaps the more significant question?) What are the costumes I put on, that act as protection, a shield, admitting access i…
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First published on my blog on October 7, 2018. Read the post here → Defense mechanisms. How powerful they are. They run automatically in situations where something (what? The soul? My psyche? That which is beyond human, the greater force behind all in the universe, Mind?) triggers me. Runs to protect me. It’s like a script triggered by a series of …
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First published on my blog on May 7, 2018. Read the post here → With curiosity and a wish for more, Tess picked up on the distinction between judgment and discernment in the post on Intuitive living, and I can only agree: it is a distinction which piqued my curiosity as well. “You may have noticed that we have never discussed forgiveness. Forgivene…
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First published on my blog on May 24, 2020. Read the post here → Open. To receive. To give. Both actions require openness. Otherwise nothing can come in; nothing can get out. If I am not open to receiving, I am not open to giving either. Being open is my default-state. And yet… I am not always open. Sometimes I shut down, close up, not having enoug…
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First published on my blog on September 14, 2020. Read the post here: https://tankespjarn.com/procrastination/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tankespjarn/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERO_Respondi Website: https://tankespjarn.com/
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First published on my blog on January 25, 2021. Read the post here → The bottom line: I get to experience that which I am present to, and not experience that which I am not present to, as I cannot be present to everything all at once. I’m sitting in bed. It’s 8:24 am and I’ve just completed my regular Wim Hof breathing practice. Before that, I did …
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First published on my blog on January 10, 2017. Read the post here → The feeling that I’m not enough. That no matter how hard I try, how hard I work, I will never be able to do enough, never able to do all that which I feel I should be doing. The frustration of not being able to make a difference, the difference I should make. It’s not a feeling th…
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First published on my blog on August 19, 2020. Read the post here → I turn off Spotify. The pipes leading to the heaters gargle a bit, and a car drives by on the residential road outside. And there’s another one, farther away, on one of the larger streets a block or two away. My 16-year old son Benjamin semi-shouts Hey, hey upstairs, ensconced in h…
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First published on my blog on August 28, 2021. Read the post here: https://tankespjarn.com/convince-me/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tankespjarn/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HERO_Respondi Website: https://tankespjarn.com/
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81. Tankespjärn in community | with Luke, Mandell and Kate
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“The main aspect is always ‘Oh, these are people I would like to spend 10, 20 hours with!’ And I think that needs to be there because of the way the setup is.” ~ Helena It has to be. Otherwise I’d never make it to the end of season three, which is where we’re at right now. Spending this long with every one of my partners in crime, if I didn’t like …
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80. Responding to the dance of someone else | with Bella, Özlem & Caspian
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Season three is approaching the end, and we are concluding with two group-conversations (as we’ve never managed to get a date that works for all the participants of one season). Here you will meet me, Bella and Özlem, as well as Caspian, my friend and pod-producer, who will be facilitating the episode, to make sure we stay somewhat on topic. Which …
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79. I am the container | with Bella
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Fifth and final conversation of the third season. Wrapping it up by having two group conversations (trying to get seven people to settle on one date with commitments and other engagements as well as time zones to juggle is a bit like trying to herd cat’s. Not the easiest. Hence: two conversations!), but still… a door closes. And another opens? Or ‘…
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78. Light and dark, always dancing | with Özlem Tan
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In a conversation around inner light as well as darkness, it’s so easy to substitute light and dark for good/bad, or positive/negative. And I have. For the longest time. But I am reclaiming my darkness, waking my inner bitch up; wanting, needing, a bit less of the goodie-two-shoes facet of myself, and a bit more edge, more anger, more holy wrath. ‘…
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77. Conversations that help me be more me | with Luke Aymon
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Connecting dots with Luke in this our fifth conversation (not to worry, Özlem number five will be published, once it’s recorded…). Dots coming from all places. A recent work assignment. Therapy sessions with Dominic. The book circle I’m running on Women Who Run With the Wolves. Episode 75 where me and Kate spoke about where getting a slight buzz he…
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76. How is your heart today? | with Mandell
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The bittersweetness of closing season three with the fifth conversation with each and every one of my meandering conversation-partners is matched by the seasonal shift that’s upon me – fall is coming. There’s still vegetables and fruit to harvest, the warmth from sunshine makes me toss my jacket aside, and trees are only just starting to change col…
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75. Dance like there’s no one watching | with Kate Inglis
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Hard to believe that me and Kate have had our fifth and final conversation [well. For this season of the pod, not forever. We will continue to have conversations, I guarantee it. But perhaps not as often. Perhaps not as long. And not recorded for a pod.]. And what a conversation we had! “I don't want to be stone cold sober for the rest of my life, …
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74. A plethora of inner voices | with Bella
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I enjoy wise words, collect quotes or longer paragraphs from books I read, videos I watch (I’ve been tweeting single sentence words of wisdom from whatever I am currently watching. During the summer it was Downton Abbey, right now it’s Game of Thrones…), podcasts I listen to etc. I’ve got little words of wisdom saved in many places (…and you don’t …
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73. It's very easy to should/would/could yourself | with Luke Aymon
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I enjoy having meandering conversations. Period. Give me a soul willing and eager to partake in such an explorative undertaking and I am happy. But there’s something special in having this type of conversation with someone much younger than me, and Luke is just that. “I think everything can be a portal, a prompt, a door that might open, a seed. The…
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72. Dancing, a metaphor for life | with Özlem Tan
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Do you dance? I asked Özlem, only to have him ask how I defined dance. I didn’t give him an answer, because for me, dancing is so much more than ‘dancing’… (ok, bear with me for just a while longer:) “I had a coach who used to say ‘Dance with whatever comes knocking on the door’. Ever since, I've been using dance as a metaphor, as an inspiration, a…
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71. The short and long arcs of time | with Mandell
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It fascinates me how me and Mandell cannot speak without dropping at least a douzen book titles/recommendations or so. This episode is not different in that regards, but before we went all booking, I shared a story of the adventures of Pop the cat, who was definitely cheating on me during the summer, while on vacation in Vejbystrand where my mom li…
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70. Questions on curating life | with Kate Inglis
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A failure of curiosity is what it is, Kate said towards the end of our fourth conversation… and what she’s not pointing to is us, as I am sure there’s never been a Tankespjärn-episode with as many questions, ever. Questions on curating life: “I curate my life. It's on me to make. What do I want my life to be? How do I want it to be, where do I want…
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69. Yes lives in the land of no | with Bella
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Picking up on the thread from our last conversation, Bella asks me about the quotation I’d just handed in back then… which has us go down an interesting route of how to face rejection. I am better at facing professional rejections, like getting a No on a quotation, or, for that matter, not really getting any response at all. Personally, I would lik…
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68. Who do I want to be in this world? | with Luke Aymon
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“I am responsible for me and my actions. You are responsible for you and your actions.” ~ Helena What would it be like if there was more of this in the world? No more You make me [fill in the blank]… (Or less of it, at least.) More I get [fill in the blank] when… instead. Where [fill in the blank] might be angry, happy, sad, upset, elated, excited,…
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67. Find what makes you tick | with Özlem Tan
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In our third conversation Özlem helped me see something about myself that I’ve never noticed before. I’ve always thought the common thread to everything I’ve done in life, at least from a professional standpoint, has been about change and improvement. I’ve called myself an Agent of Change for many years by now because of that belief. But Özlem made…
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66. A modern band of brothers | with Mandell
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Mandell has some serious friendships going on, let me tell you. His story blasted my preconceived notions right out of the water, and I absolutely love it when that happens! You see… I have it in my mind that men are ‘worse at friendships’ than women. Laying down flat on my back, showing you my exposed neck, coming clean as a person with prejudices…
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65. Questions matter | with Kate Inglis
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Season three, round three of meandering conversations means we’re at the midway point, and somehow it always catches me by surprise. As always, me and Kate meander quite significantly, and if you’ve been counting Kate-rants, there’s a couple in this episode too. Her rants don’t really feel like rants to me though, they are more musings that are all…
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64. Discernment is flexible and judgment is rigid | with Bella
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Bella has a knack of asking poignant questions that open a wide expanse in front of me, or us, and off we go. Down deep, continuing on the theme from our last conversation. During this our second (recorded) conversation it became clear to me how I’ve come to a place where it’s much easier for me to stand my ground, feel centered and secure, in my s…
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63. What is your pain trying to tell you? | with Luke Aymon
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Just before me and Luke had our second conversation (this one!) I listened to him in (a podcast-) conversation with Eyal Shay on pain, which made me curious. ‘Pain is generally a signal that contains information worth listening to, worth parsing and figuring out ‘Well, what is it trying to tell me?’ Because if you figure that out, it's more likely …
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62. Parenting: the reactions of the parent | with Özlem Tan
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Without rules and guidelines, would anarchy ensue? Isn’t that what we (me, you, others?!) believe? Or are taught to believe? That anarchy is the natural outcome if there aren’t any rules. I don’t think it necessarily would be. Perhaps because I don’t think we, humans, function without rules. That is, even if there weren’t any rules, or they were re…
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61. Each person has had their own journey here | with Mandell
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Mandell spent a week in Senegal before we met up for our second conversation, and I was following his adventures on Instagram. When I came across a video of him walking just a few meters behind two big lions, I almost choked! I mean, those are some seriously respect-inducing animals, for sure! So of course, I ask Mandell about this, eager to find o…
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60. My precious, my trauma, my pain | with Kate Inglis
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When me and Kate hook up for our second conversation of five, she’s just come home after a week off the grid in a tiny cabin on Windhorse Farm. There she practiced self-care, but don’t tell her I said that as she positively hates that word/concept… both of which she professes to in this conversation. “It was […] wonderful just to spend time with my…
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59. I don’t want to do the good thing. I want to do the real thing. | with Bella
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Bella was a calming presence in an online meet-up I attended last fall, having me reach out afterwards, inviting her to a one-on-one conversation. Lucky for me, she accepted, and we’ve had a few since then. Wise. Calm. With an energy that makes me feel good when I am around it. So I am thrilled to have her as my fifth conversation partner for seaso…
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58. We try to fix everything. Maybe there is no fixing to be done? | with Luke Aymon
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Last season Twitter gifted me Reddy. This season’s Twitter gift is Luke Aymon, whom I connected with thanks to Reddy, who plays a lot with Eyal Shay (who’s podcast I guested), who in turn speaks a lot with Luke… and somewhere along those lines, mine and Luke’s paths crossed and we struck up a conversation. My hunch was that here’s a person whom I w…
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57. Role models in our own relations | with Özlem Tan
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First time I set eyes on Özlem Tan was during a leadership-training we both attended a few years back. I liked how he showed up there, and ever since, we’ve kept in touch, having interesting conversations which made me invite him to the third season of the podcast. - Where are you from? - I'm from Helsingborg. - No, no, no, I mean like from the beg…
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56. Books are wisdom just laying about in your house | with Mandell Conway
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Books! Who knew me and Mandell Conway, conversation-partner number two for this third season of meandering conversations, would spend a whole episode talking abouts books. (Well. More or less. Not 100% perhaps. But a lot. And as I am a book buff I was pleasantly surprised to find a book buff-friend in Mandell). You see, I know Mandell more for the …
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55. The everyday reality of all those that came before us | with Kate Inglis
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Season three is upon us, and thus I get to introduce five new people to you! First up is Kate Inglis. A lovely woman I connected with on Twitter after she reached out a hand. And you’ve experienced it yourself, I am sure, when you first connect with someone and you just know that there’s something there, haven’t you? A liking, an affinity, a knowin…
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54. The algorithms don't invite tankespjärn. Conversations do. | with Matthew, Andy & Izzy
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Wrapping up season two I am filled with gratitude for the experience. All of it. From inviting conversation partners to setting up the first conversations, thoroughly enjoying conversations two and three, experiencing tugs at my heartstrings in conversation four and when finding times for the group reflections, to being a bit lost-for-words during …
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53. Conversations make for a great playground where learning is rife | with Inma, Reddy & Steve
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Rounding off season two (How IS it possible, that I’ve already had another 5x5 conversations?!), we do a repeat of what we did at the end of season one: getting everyone from the season together to share what it’s been like to partake. Here’s the first of two group conversations, with me, Reddy, Steve and Inma, chaperoned by Caspian who’s my behind…
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