7 Years out of 8. This is the story of my life as I live it. Week by week, state by state, you'll see me at my best and worst. I listen to these later, and I reflect on my own experiences and my own thoughts. It's an interesting thing to do, and you're welcome to partake. The world is playing a beautiful melody we're not listening to, and I'm trying my best to listen. When everything is silent, we find the peace to listen. Welcome to the clarity of the night. Welcome to the story of my life.
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20:47 15.10.2024 mom is mad
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23:57 13.10.2024 having fun in amman. Week in Dusseldorf was great. Dreamt mad shit this week.
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21:27 06.10.2024 tomorrow is october 7th. Im almost in Dusseldorf. Spent the train ride writing poetry for Basics: Of Life and Being and also for my adhd ebook. I spoke to a lovely couple about everything under the sun. Lovely interaction.
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18:54 04.10.2024 07.10 is one year ago in 3 days. I talk about my last jump for the licence. I did the packing course this morning. Im heading to the library.
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Week 4: after Lettretage, Ashraf coaching session, sex addiction, going home
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24:16
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14:40 27.09.2024 Took a walk after writing linkedin posts. No packing course today, was cancelled due to weather (shouldn’t have been) and one learns quickly how skydiving is really a weather dependant sport. Just like my soul. So! I might have to do the license next year. And I dont mind it. I have to do 12 jumps anyways every year to keep the lic…
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Week 4: reflecting on last moments with Lilly
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26:36
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17:22 24.09.2024
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22:45 23.09.2024 after yoga class reflected on the week and Lilly.
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22:13 22.09.2024 she sent me a message 5 minutes ago. I asked her to come downstairs. 00:52 im in the bus riding home. We held each other and cried for a long time. Walked, felt one another again. I went upstairs for a short while, kissed her cheek and left. She came down with me. She didnt need to.
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13.09.2024 I dreamt I was in a house designed like a vagina. I drank yesterday for the first time in months and I ate meat and hat a wet dream straight away. So, should I be drinking? Also, I feel pretty bad for eating meat. Physically. I talk about my dream and then my current situation generally - whether I should do the Train the Trainer course …
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23:45 08.09.2024 I started a project that is a free online course for adhd. I am happy with the progress. I started this episode talking about the things in my room. That was very grounding.
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01.09.2024 23:19 Sunday
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07:51 23.08.2024 A bit unfocused looking at my phone too much. Arrived in Bremen. Nervous.
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08:31 19.08.2024 Mon. Victor and Johannes came spontaneously after our call last Saturday. Was beautiful spending time with the buddies.
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Babababoom 23:23 18.08.2024
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09.08.2024 16:32 sitting in a park working through a lot of things in my head. Grateful for it.
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16:12 04.08.2024 It feels right to end this podcast. I’ve gotten what I need out of it in this format, and now I’m changing the format so it serves me myself. Thank you for being here. Goodbye.
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23:26 28.07.2024 Im at Lilly’s. It’s almost midnight. I recorded short audios throughout the week. I ordered an M1 macboon pro that was too bruised and had a bad battery. Ordered an m3 15 inch Polarstar after I got my salary. Sent out payments today. Got my tax money and sent most of it to my mom with donations on top. Sometimes I record what I wan…
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Upload 23:22 21.07.2024 I recorded this on the way home on Friday the 19th. Stayed in the office and watched political youtube videos. Walked for an hour. Relieved my mind. Otherwise, I talked to Lilly a lot this week. I watched a Japanese animated movie about a singer who turns into an actress and loses her mind as she gets stalked, great movie)…
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14.07.2024 23:40 recorded before sleeping. A night or two ago. Talking to Lily right now. She’s so cute.
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07.07.2024 23:33 Two recordings: First night in London and Story Dice ant and butterfly love story recording. Arrived Thursday 00:30 am and the story dice thing was on Monday. Watching a youtube video of a time laps of plants growing and its amazing. Ordered a M2 ipad pro 16 gb 1 Tb used in excellent condition for 1200 euro and a macbook air m2 8gb…
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23:53 30.06.2024
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Sven - Skydiving - Therapy - The Amazon Curse
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23:53 23.06.2024 it’s 11 days since my birthday. Damn time moves fast. I recorded myself for an hour for a course and didnt know I was recording in slow motion. I deleted the content this morning. Was funny and no audio was kept just the video. Met a woman who loves dreams, understanding them and writing about them - we discussed a few of my dreams…
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23:23 16.06.2024 Im writing this at the last night of the yoga retreat. After drinking blue lotus flower distilled alcohol and doing a gong shivasana session. A lot of different feelings in general about being here but also happy about the experience and happy about going back. Was able to think about what I’ve been through and going through differ…
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Just realised citizen has the word zen in it but cities have no zen!!! Hahahahhaha 23:30 05.06
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11:35 pm 03.06 8% moon
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11:39 PM 02.06.2024 enjoying Mandela's autobiography. Focusing a lot on different projects. Enjoying massively how I've been thinking and approaching issues and emotions. I am doing well. Even when things don't go perfectly. Slept on two yoga matts the last week besides last night and it felt amazing. Love you Kinans.…
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I got to experience Kali. Should be experiencing her all the time. My feet were touched. And I cried.
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23:03 19.05.2024 about to sleep! Goodnight. Looking forward to tomorrow and the rest of the week.
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Recorded Monday 13.05.2024 in Cagliari in the apartment. I sent Ashraf a long voicenote telling him how I was suffering girl wise in Italy. We got on a phonecall the day after and talked a lot. He was telling me not to keep moving when I went on a walk. He was eating a beautiful dish.
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23:19 12.05.2024 I’m sitting in a yellow chair in Cagliari reading Nelson Mandela’s autobiography. Sat with Philipp for a long time drinking Matte and discussing P and I and matters of life and death. Was a good trip and I’m glad to be back. My mind went through many moments throughout and it concluded at finding peace in the heart of kindness in m…
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23:06 05.05.2024 In Cagliari. Will send mom a voicenote telling her how I am. About to sleep. Work tomrrow from here. Want to work on Sex, Porn and Love addiction book tomorrow. Focus on writing and then merge that into editing. Do your pushups with Stefan and Philipp. Have a late lunch even if it’s difficult. Keep it to salt with water. If you’re …
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2024.04.24 09.25 It was a full moon last night and I decided to record right after finishing Dexter: New Blood. Recorded around 11:20 pm 23.04.2024
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The Sage's Card. The Instrument of Power. The Seeds of Color. Planted.
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21.04.2024 23:00 Sunday. Feeling raw and available. What a wonderful experience. Coming from my heart a lot more. Afraid of not being in connection. Afraid of going back to old patterns. Afraid of losing access to the open doors of a golden place in my heart. And life continues. And that is why many of its moments can be beautiful to begin with.…
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09:29 13.04.2024 Sunday. Took a break from packing my bags to record this. Went to Mahadeens to talk music the other night. Allahu Akbar. Work work work (wc3 peasant sound). New housemates, Chiara leaving. Yo. Bald now.
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15:29 Sunday 07.04.2024 omw to Berghein walking there and going to be there in a few minutes. Sunny lovely weather. New Moon tomorrow.
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Week 285: Voicenotes - Zeit vergeht schnell
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23:39 2024.03.31 ich sitze neben Momo in Iserlohn. Er spielt ShadowFight 2 und die Familie sitzt mit Freunden. Wir hatten vor kurzem unten unter rucken trainiert und Horse-stance für 2 Minuten gemacht. In diesem Folge habe ich drei Voicenotes. Eins an Johannes, eins an Papa und eins an Mousa. Papa war erst, dann direkt Mousa, und Johannes war vor 4…
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23:46 24.03.2024 got a new couch. Overheard some guy talking about content marketing. Dads health is bad again. Finished reading: Green Mile. Write Useful Books. Reading Solo Leveling. Doing 3x duolingo classes a day in Japanese. Figured out my camera settings. My microphone settings. Set my basis in a lot of things. Did I say I got a new couch?…
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23:29 17.03.2024 Watched The Bear season 1 and 2 this week. Last pages of The Green Mile. Finished writing ‘Escape’. Proofed first seven chapters of “The Cure”. Wrote more in other directions. Courses im taking: intro to architecture, intro to political science, ninja writing. Planned different courses, marketing opportunities. Sent an email to Kar…
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23:51 10.03.2024 raised 350 for Gaza and Zaks family.
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Recorded Friday 8-9 pm. I talk about the new shoes I got and how amazing of an experience it is. Also about how things got together for me to run into a lot of people I touched base with in Berlin. The one I didnt mention was Marlena or something like that. Also saw her, she didnt see me in the train. i smiled and continued towards neukölln on Thur…
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Recorded Monday 4th of March 2024. After yoga class. Remembered Tami and Mousa and how I always chase distance. I don’t want to chase distance.
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Week 281: Dune II, Poor things, work tomorrow
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23:02 03.03.2024 Changed my mind about work again. Looking forward to the structure and knowing im doing something that directly pays me. Ill have to see how I manage my energy. Did a breathwork class last evening and the facilitator was in front of me breathing and I couldnt breathe because his breath stank.…
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Week 280: Tools - eating, sleeping, general state
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25.02.2024 09:58 week 280 of doing this feels like there’s something to celebrate about that. Shared generally how my diet and lifestyle are.
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24.02.2024 00:04 ashraf and I had a long conversation. Valentines day tantra event. Riccy and I breaking up. Party coming up in two weeks
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What do you do when you have no energy to upload an episode but promise yourself to?
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10.02.2024 11:30 am Saturday. Got the chance to talk and catch up with my first friend Ramez Azizi. We touched all topics good male friends touch: Career, politics, army, and life goals. And most importantly, waste management in large cities.A little bit of Arabic and English together. Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwdVC9wZIOY&t=2s…
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Filmed for the first time. Youtube Link: Sunday 04.02.2024 1:39 pm. I have a new haircut. Vegan atm. Much more balanced. New room setup. Mic and camera setup. Realised I need to grow on youtube more slowly than go as fast as I keep telling myself. Slow and steady wins the race.I talk about a challenge of beginning meditation. The idea of beauty. Gr…
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20:37 26.01.2024 Went to the gym after work and meditated. Then I felt extremely tired and that I didnt want to work out. I stretched and did good exercises while listening to sub urban, foam rolled, then went home and recorded (after grocery shopping). I reflect on the week.
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00:32 20.01.2024 In bed after eating and brushing my teeth. I love that I feel so safe around my parents. I love that they love me. I love that they know me through and through and still choose to love me this much. It hurts a bit to know I have to go back. But I’m grateful that it worked out so smoothly to come and be here. I remember how smooth i…
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