Lifelong friends, Tom and Mike entertain themselves and you with stories of their lives, crazy theories, and general idiocy. Not safe for kids.
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 235 - The Four Amishmen of the Apocalypse (feat. Leroy Yohn)
1:12:13
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Is it true? Is the Cybertruck really just an SUV with PS1 graphics? Topics include: the Four Amishmen of the Apocalypse; Thing, The Thing, and John Carpenter's The Thing; unusual sports, real, or invented?; The Walkening; Elon Musk; RFK and his bear #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #cardboardtubefightingleague #wifecarrying #shovelracing #Poo…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 234 - The Accuser
1:14:16
1:14:16
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Join us as we explore the world of AI-generated music, the definition of Shoegaze, drinking hard liquor as a substitute for water, and more! Topics include: Mike is repairing and restoring a guitar, this song of the week brought to you by AI (Suno); should cover songs stay true to the original, or be reinterpretations of the original?; the definiti…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 233 - Summer in Review
1:08:26
1:08:26
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Feeling nostalgic? So are we! Topics include: Tom is sometimes ashamed of his own podcast; summer games we played as kids; young Tom was a bully; terrible bathroom stories; Mad Magazine; 80's and 90's toys #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #GhostsInTheGraveyard #TVTag #Photon #Lasertag #HordakSlimePit #Crossfire #Pogoball #Spytech #bullying Ca…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 232 - Welcome to the Bong Show (feat. Amber Gauger)
1:17:55
1:17:55
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Ambers joins us once again, with an armful of quizzes and her special type of positivity. Topics include: generic candy; proper bong usage; dong ia a funny word; a shitty Willy Wonka exhibit; Ben Schwartz's improv tour; fake news vs real news; a quiz about fried foods; a quiz about Pride month #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #genericcandy #b…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 231 - Pez Bikini
39:49
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This week's episode was brought to you by Crappy Equipment! We were able to record on our phones, but because of this, I wasn't given a video feed with both our faces on it at the same time. The cuts were all automatically done by Zoom upon converting the file, so they look like shit. Also, it sounds like shit, for multiple reasons. On the plus sid…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 230 - Swoop Swoop Swoop!
1:11:06
1:11:06
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Andy the Squirrel teaches Mike a thing or two about life as a city squirrel. Topics include: baseball caps; keeping toys in the packaging; bespoke action figures; secret peeing; phantom pooping techniques; a visit from Andy P. Squirrel; movie plot mashups; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #AndyPSquirrel #baseballcaps #collectabletoys #actionf…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 229 - Dr. Phil's Stunt Bike Spectactular
58:24
58:24
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Mike seriously did take a butter bath, don't let him try to tell you otherwise. Topics include: alcoholic slushies; Tom has dental work done; Mike's oldest daughter graduates from college; a visit from Dr. Phill McDraw; the real Dr. Phil and his stuntmen buddies; Minor League Baseball team names; Marilyn Manson with a mullet; beer #podcast #funny #…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 228 - Flying Human Head Bites
57:10
57:10
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Nothing like the indignity of being bitten in the head to add to the general bullshit of gym class. Topics include: the Pure Moods CD; Smashmouth; Fallout TV show; reading; dog problems; head bites and other gym class activities; beer; the time astronaut John Young smuggled a sandwich into space; who Tweeted it, Kevin Sorbo, Rob Schneider, or Randy…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 227 - Get Outta Here, Poopsnake!
1:20:04
1:20:04
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Because who doesn't need another phobia? Topics include: novelty t-shirts; inflammatory bumper stickers; skin tags; name brands versus generic brands; kangaroo meat; toilet snakes; Amazon Safari; Nair on balls and other bad ideas; Andy Dick; Fallout TV show #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #noveltytshirts #bumperstickers #skintags #namebrands…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 226 - Freckworking
1:00:46
1:00:46
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It's kind of like a combination of acupuncture and arts & crafts! Topics include: what constitutes a sauce?; Gripe Water; social media pranksters; Boomer thinks selling illegal immigrants is a good idea; school official nearly loses job in AI framejob; voting eligibility limitations; Trump the Idiot God King; freckle networking; Joe Kenda #podcast …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 225 - Knob Creep (feat. Jimmy Fleisher)
1:05:35
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The question is not, should I buy one of those things with the camera on them that you can stick into your ear; the question is, can I stick it in my pee hole? Topics include: birds of prey; getting old; eye-to-dick coordination; the 2024 solar eclipse; drinking; Caitlyn Jenner; earwax cameras; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #eagles #birdso…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 224 - No Bars on Mars
1:03:24
1:03:24
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1:03:24
I can't even get a decent 5G signal up here!!! Topics include: was Jesus a zombie or a lich?; aliens and space travel; was Bob Ross a serial killer?; Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Reginald Vel Johnson; separating the art from the artist; Paul Blart Mall Cop 2; Dan Schneider and the plight of child actors; remaking bad movines into good ones; Nicholas C…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 223 - Celiac Adjacent
52:43
52:43
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Mike looks like Goldilocks in this episode. If you're only listening to the podcast, you obviously won't see that, but if you're watching it on YouTube, maybe it'll distract the fuck out of you like it did Tom. Topics include: names for toes; sexual feng shui; Andrew Tate; playing a didgeridoo; cats #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #AndrewTat…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 222 - Shart Week
1:05:49
1:05:49
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"Funny, kinda heavy, and then adorable." Mike's take on this week's episode. Topics include: various types of pudding; dukage; MIMAL; Vermin Supreme; Steven Seagal; some dude creepin' on Mike's steeze; thorazine dick; stone soup; AI; conservative family moves to Russia and immediately regret it; Tucker Carlson/Putin interview; Jon Stewart; a dose o…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 221 - Knee-High to a Titty
1:05:38
1:05:38
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Hey!!! I was listening to that AM radio station! Topics include: Smurf porn; internet smack talk; thanks, I'm cured!; Valentines Day; we get locked into a food spiral; Lego Masters and other Nerd Artisans; Red Dwarf; fishboots; thieves steal 200 foot radio tower that was actively transmitting in AM; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #smurfporn…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 220 - Way Too Niche (feat. Brandon Marsden)
54:02
54:02
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Have you ever eaten a Slimehead? What about a Whore Egg? Topics include: Richards Simmons shrunk down into jerky; One Girl, One Brownie Recipe; peak dad; the Slimehead Family; Fairuza Balk's juicy center; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #RoyalJester #RichardSimmons #poopbrownies #dadjokes #slimehead #orangeroughy #FairuzaBalk Cartoon avatars…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 219 - Firm and Purple
1:15:47
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We've had technical difficulties before, but this was the first time we've had to record the end of the podcast on another day. Topics include: Tom goes to a Tool concert; two bags of shoes; what do trenchcoats remind you of?; Hunter S. Thompson sightings; the Balldo; ripped Grimace; haunted smart devices; Deobra Reddie; Two Truths and a Lie; some …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 218 - I Licked a Masseuse
57:49
57:49
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It's a new year, and that means the same old bullshit! Topics include: Mike get sick and temporarily gains a superpower; the January gym rush; bad movies and good television; beating bad habits; Pre Malone; Only Fans trash; Don Cheadle as Captain Planet; Crisco kisses #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #januarygymrush #badhabits #postmalone #on…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 217 - Best of Vol 12
55:51
55:51
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Collecting episodes 68 through 70. Bits and segments included: Grundle Tales; Human Blunderbuss; Butt Plugs are for Everyone; Desiccated Plums; Preheating a Microwave; Must Be a Lie; Jimmy Horrible; Brown; The Funk; "Yeah, right!"; I Don't Need Your Fucking Charity; The Rootin’, Tootinest Lawyer in the West; Mike's Spy Cam Network; Bingo Gang; Barn…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 216 - An Amish Christmas (2023 Holiday Special)
1:10:43
1:10:43
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Its that time again! BE SURE TO JOIN US ON NEW YEAR'S EVE AT 11 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME AS WE STREAM LIVE FROM GAMING WITH TOM & MIKE: https://www.youtube.com/live/1uAS6VXF0PM?si=_TLhw5xAJUuV7KfL Topics include: holiday equity; Santa is more plausible than Jesus; Santa whupped a dude's ass; favorite Christmas memories; weight loss; wearing cologne…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 215 - Mason Adjacent
48:04
48:04
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Tom gets very drunk on Mad Elf. Topics include: that Folger's commercial... you know, THAT one; pet stories; analog kids in a digital age; the in's and out's of being a bald person; Masons #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #thatfolgerscommercial #pets #masons Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud ***…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 214 - Nick Offerman’s Raging Hardon
1:01:40
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He stood there, his mustache resplendent, his red hot member waving madly in the air. And then somebody shot him. It was fucked. Topics include: vitamin C dreams; deli adventures; the resurgence of DVD players; steroid use; Deadwood; having a cool jean jacket; cashing that paycheck; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #vitaminc #dvdplayer #stero…
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Due to a serious equipment failure, the podcast will be on break for awhile. I'll be posting updates whenever possible.By Tom Cash and Mike Kinkley
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 213 - Grandma’s Cheesy Vagina
1:09:42
1:09:42
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This episode originally featured an argument which wasn't funny enough to keep. There are undercurrents of it throughout the episode, see if you can guess what it was about! Topics include: Dr. Pimple Popper; Gilbert Gottfried's real voice (legitimate source); huggist; somebody farts on Mike for a change; a lotta work for not a lotta meat; choking …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 212 - Put Ur Butt in My Butt (feat. Brandon Marsdin)
1:41:25
1:41:25
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We completely lose our shit and start talking about anally inserted butts. Listen to Mike and Brandon's new podcast, Milkin' It, here: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/57417524 Topics include: Mike is accosted my Laura Engels era maidens at a Les Claypool show; cheesesteak/cheese stick/cheese snake/cheesedick; Milkin' It; the proper pronunciation o…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 211 - I Refuse to Help Myself
1:03:52
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Mike relentlessly farts his way through life and refuses to apologize for it any longer. Meanwhile, Tom wants to do away with the need to dispose of bodily waste. Topics include: Ten Years After; Static-X; Tom takes his nephew to his first show; going back to the gym; New Game Plus IRL; pork at work; Yuengling Lager is overrated; sports fans; A Nig…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 210 - Professionally Angry (Halloween Special 2023)
1:16:10
1:16:10
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We tried. We really did. But we just can't keep on topic long enough to be properly SpOoKy! We would like to dedicate this episode to the memory of Rodrigo Moro. Rest in Peace, buddy. Topics include: is gore considered horror?; trick or treating in the 80s versus today; mental health meals; once you become a ghost, you gotta answer to other ghosts …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 209 - A Joyless Breakfast
57:12
57:12
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Who knew the Amish were such a rich vein of comedy? Topics include: Trivium; Taylor Swift; Tom's resolution: more rock tees, tats, and shows; Beeker is a huge pervert; fantostomy bag; Are Tacos Sandwiches? - An Improv Sketch; cereal + milk = soup?; a definition for Walking Taco; The Amish Dick Punch #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #Trivium #…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 208 - A Piñata Full of What?!?
58:49
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After two wholesome episodes in a row, I guess we needed to get some of the nasty out, because right out of the gate we're like 120 miles an hour with the toilet humor. You love it. Topics include: piss reduction; poop schedules; McDonalds; working at Hardee's; Boris (an improv game); The Hu; Death From Above 1979; guitars; Halloween decorations; E…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 207 - Pre-Life Crisis (feat. Ben Cash)
2:28:44
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In this super-long travelogue, Tom's nephew tells of his visit to Japan. It's a tale of daring, adventure, and an astonishing lack of self-preservation. #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #Japan #travel #travelogue #exploration #comingofage #JohnHughes Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud ***********…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 206 - An Acceptable Podcast
1:15:45
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Something is off, here, Mike... did you get a haircut or something? Topics include: Steve Harvey; the Wheel of Fortune PS4 game; RIP Bob Barker; Starfield; Baldur's Gate 3; concerts; Suicidal Tendencies; Danzig is a terrible homeowner; sleep studies; car salesmen; who would win in a fight, Tom or Mike? #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #SteveH…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 205 - Soda Douche
1:30:15
1:30:15
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It's not what you're thinking. Probably. Topics include: repulsively sweet tea; boiled peanuts; Tom introduces his niece to D&D; comics; shitty celebrities; hot weather; Tom's Army days; too much sugar; more Army stuff; Dave Matthews; weed shits?; superheroes; Tom's cat Simon is also a soda douche #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #sweettea #b…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 204 - Best of Vol 11
57:42
57:42
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57:42
Collecting episodes 64 through 67. Bits and segments included: That's just God testing you; if it's in the bible, it must be true; stealth jerkin'; Down on Mike's farm; Tom is a farm expert; don't wizz on the electric fence; exploding hot dogs; human adaptability; St. Peter's favorite part of the job; Mrs. Cunty; healthy boundaries; the dangers of …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 203 - Beefcheese
1:08:58
1:08:58
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Would YOU subscribe to a Tom & Mike Onlyfans? Topics include: Tom talks about his new living situation; we bemoan Brandon's schedule; Mike's mystery floor; Pete Davidson; medical marijuana; unintentional edging; firing dildos at Donald Trump; Douglas Adams; politics; let people enjoy things; Alex Skolnick Trio; mac glocky; a Tom & Mike Onlyfans? #p…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 202 - Nipple Pipes (feat. Leroy Yohn)
1:02:07
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Leroy plays with a variety of suspiciously-named objects and insults Juggalos. In jest of course. We're down with the clown here at Story Time with Tom & Mike - whoop whoop! Topics include: Leroy plays with wood, pipe, and nipples; streaming media woes; Paul Ruebens; They Might Be Giants; Juggalos; Star Wars; Brojob; I'm Just Ken; Eddy Baker; Tom's…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 201 - Welcome to Hobbleton (D&D Special # 1)
1:06:16
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Mike has never played D&D before. As a veteran DM, Tom guides Mike through a thrilling adventure in the fantastical land of Hobbleton. Join us as we meet strange people, fight stranger creatures, and explore bizarre locations! This is part one of what will likely be an ongoing, episodic series, to be released every 4 - 6 weeks! #dnd #dungeon…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 200 - Freakiest Friday (200th Episode Special)
1:26:27
1:26:27
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What the devil is going on here?!? Tom is Mike? Mike is Tom? And what's this, a live action cooking show? Why, it could only be the 200th episode special! There'll be classic stories retold, new stories of stuff that never happened, gross over-exaggerations, and a whole slew of special appearances from friends of the show! This one's for all the fa…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 199 - Crazy Pants (feat. Brandon Marsdin)
1:32:50
1:32:50
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Mike fucks around and finds out. Topics include: Brandon has never seen an episode of Gilligan's Island; a truly lost tourist; we somehow conflate the following people as some sort of ultraperson: Jackie Collins, Jackie Moon, Jackie Robinson, Robert Patterson, Robert Pattison, Robert Patrick, and Richard Patrick; more tour bus stories; Real Dolls a…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 198 - Knuckle Babies (feat. Tony C.)
1:34:42
1:34:42
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Tony has some ideas for a new podcast to pitch to Tom and Mike. Topics include: DIY layaway; sorting Nine Inch Nails albums by Halo order; the outrageous cost of vinyl; young actors and old veterans; new podcast ideas; talking on the phone in a public bathroom; egg salad as a gentle enemy; intentionally leaving trash at somebody's house for them to…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 197 - The Wettest Stripper in History (feat. Lindsay A.)
1:12:51
1:12:51
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Still better than rotting pieces of ham used as currency! Topics include: King Lazy Eye; Cobra Man; Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band; World's Worst (an improv game) #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #KingLazyEye #CobraMan #ReverendPeyton #WorldsWorst #improv #standup Tom's Twitter: https://twitter.com/StoryTimeTom1 Mike's Twitter: https://twitt…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 196 - Pissed Off Califlower (feat. Lindsay A.)
1:16:31
1:16:31
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From the dark recesses of 1980s television to our AI overlords, things get a little serious in this episode. Topics include: body odor; mosquitoes; Drakkar Noir; showering daily; childhood trauma; dark episodes of 1980s family sitcoms; The Algorithm; the singularity; Monsters of the Week include McDonalds, Congress, SCOTUS, and rude shoppers; King …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 195 - Family-Friendly Nipples (feat. Jimmy Fleisher)
1:12:17
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Tom and Jimmy both get drunker, and things get deeper. Topics include: family relationships; stupid comments from Blue Check Twitter accounts; who would you bang if you had the "hall pass", guy & girl edition; favorite actors; Jimmy's motorcycle #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #family #familyrelationships #bluecheckmark #twitter #hallpass #m…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 194 - A Celebration of the Nipple (feat. Jimmy Fleisher)
1:26:35
1:26:35
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Jimmy sets a bold example for Tom and Mike by doing the entire show without a shirt. Don't worry, he's been doing CrossFit. Topics include: fitness and diet; wine; technology; management jobs suck; be a smart soldier; more on bad managers; sexual harrassment; the Titan sub; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #crossfit #wine #encyclopedia #Dewey…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 193 - Magical Goblin Line Cook Energy
1:05:48
1:05:48
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Look, YOU try to come up with an explanation for Pete Davidson, okay? Topics include: fashion: form versus function; government whistleblower reports non-human crafts have been captured; panspermia; is Pete Davidson a space alien?; car part villians; are asexual romantic relationships with cats okay?; getting old; weaponized shitting #podcast #funn…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 192 - Paper-Thin Butthole (feat. Amber Gauger)
54:42
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I... well... you see... you know what? I'm just gonna let Amber handle this one. Topics include: what if Story Time with Tom & Mike were a theme restaurant?; the wrong hole at the wrong time (butt stuff); tiny rave; more butt stuff; Quiz: what do these lyrics from queer bands say about us?; #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #themerestaurant #s…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 191 - San Fran Frisky and the Case of the Redhead with Two Boobs (feat. Amber Gauger)
1:15:08
1:15:08
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Put yo' hands in the air, if your internet connection drops and you just don't care! Topics include: Emperor Norton I; rat kings; aggressive drivers; leaving the toilet seat up; xenon headlights; weaponized children; Battle Tapes; Scissor Sisters; Mother Mother #EmperorNortonI #ratking #aggressivedrivers #toiletseat #xenonheadlights #weaponizedchil…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 190 - Iron Maiden of Dildos
1:41:13
1:41:13
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We're back! After something like seven weeks of radio silence, we have returned to give you the kind of energy that only two hefty middle-aged men can give at the end of the week! Topics include: Pride and the people who are inexplicably against it; Mike spies a gibbon, or possibly a baboon; dildos as a preventative safety method; punctuation as a …
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Story Time with Tom & Mike is Taking a Break
1:09
1:09
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Hi folks! We're taking a little break so Tom can move into his new house. We'll be back soon. Three weeks. Four, tops.By Tom Cash and Mike Kinkley
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 189 - Tattoo Boss
1:05:42
1:05:42
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Would you get a tattoo from the Tattoo Boss, just for the bragging rights? Even if it sucked? Who IS the Tattoo Boss? Just who the hell are they? All these questions may or may not be answered in this, episode 189. Topics include: processed frozen food; shaking hands with a homeless person; celebrity impersonators; Gordon Ramsey is a nice man; real…
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Story Time with Tom & Mike 188 - All Grandmas Are Bastards
1:13:05
1:13:05
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No exceptions. Topics include: Mike's bank account information gets stolen and then he is greviously insulted by a police lady; Mike has more t-shirts than is reasonable; having a bad day; businesses being closed without it being obvious; Mike has a disappointing McDonald's experience; Tom's favorite spam emails; defending the Atari 2600 game ET To…
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