Hello Everyone! For the first time in seven and a half god damn years, we are going to have to take a short break. Paul Salt has to write a dissertation in two months and he's not started it, dick 'ead. So please do bear with us until September the 24th. In the meantime, we will be releasing regular Patreon episodes. So do sign up if you just need …

Depending on your region. Who watches the watchers? Who watchers are watched? What Watch the Watcheders? Find out all this and more, right here in Off Menu or whatever this is. More Horror Chick! https://thathorrorchick.com/ More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign u…

"Wait, they made a fifth Jaws movie and called it Cruel Jaws? That's stupid." Wrong, you stupid son of a bitch! ...sorry, that was too strong. I love you. Let's start over. There isn't a Jaws 5, unless you're Italian. Then there is and it's this. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patre…

Just keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', with Rollerball. Rollin' Ball! More Sean! Role to Cast: https://play.acast.com/…

Zak Snyder! What are you doing here back in Paulville? Don't you remember how it went last time? What's this? A project you haven't even managed to sell to Disney or Warner Brothers? I bet Netflix took it. They did. Great. Well what do you want us to do about it? Watch it?! That's not what Netflix is for! More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod htt…

Helen Gaffney and Becs Watson have gotten together to cook up a delightful dish of hammy acting, varying tones and Robert Morley. Revenge might be served best cold, but what about farcical comedy? That's always good, right? ...right?! More Becs: https://twitter.com/StarlingGirl starlinggirl.carrd.co https://roll-plus-heart.captivate.fm/ More Helen:…

The year is 1983 and someone is telling you that the year is actually 2019, but he's just being dramatic, but I'm not, it actually is 1983. The world has been ravaged by nuclear war so no one can have babies anymore. But people aren't chill about that as you'd expect. They're livid in fact. Maybe Paul and Ellen can put it all into context. More Ell…

ARGH! Oh no. Shit. For God's sake no. Please. Why? Eww. No! Seriously Why? Oh god. Fine. Here it is. Fuck. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Listen to Salt's show Jen and the Film Critic with OGT guest and …

Watch out, anyone hanging out below some gymnastics equipment! There's a deadly new martial arts about and it's a threat to the sovereignty of small nations everywhere. Can the Pauls survive this bizarre 80s martial arts spectacular? No, this is the end of them. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! h…

The Phaaaaaaantom of the Podcast is here! Da dum. It's the heavily disfigured Jen Blundell and she's got a bone or two to pick with the world that scorned Joel Schumacher's 2004 musical masterpiece. Join us in the rafters for a musical adventure right down the range of Gerard Butler. More JEN! Roll Plus Heart, here: https://roll-plus-heart.captivat…

Hello Bu-ddy. How's your grindage these days? Nellage is stopping by to share her greasy wheeze. What the fuck is happening? Find out here! More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Listen to Salt's show Jen and th…

You should have taken the staaaaairs! The horror chick returns in her most spookiest mode of conveyance yet: an elevator. How will Paul fair in his second elevator set horror film of the podcast? More Horror Chick! https://thathorrorchick.com/ More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.…

It's that special time of year again! April! What better time to reflect on the films of the previous year? That's right there isn't one so let's get to it. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Listen to Salt'…

Every single one of Quest Fantastic is here to talk about this film for reasons we can't exactly remember. But they're here so let's make the best of it. Featuring: Fatty Quinten, ATM, French Boi, and Big Chunky Charlie. More Sara! https://www.facebook.com/SaraKeepArt https://twitter.com/PenguinPanic?s=20&t=Ju0zqYyYI5lTHjkIYQ9Qag Rollplusheart.com …

Oh no, they say he's got a thong, go go King Kong! That's right it's time for a new King Kong and Godzilla movie, at last. So why not celebrate by remembering the very first time these two titans of industry had a good go at it? No reason why not! So we did it. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! ht…

Oh yes, I think so! Let's have Sara Keep come on to talk about the last Ghostbusters movie. Was it the golden standard in aggressively marketing nostalgia at an undemanding fan base, or is it all right? Let's find out. Featuring: Slimer 2.0, dead guys, a fantastic new segment, and the best new NFT on the market. Buy now by clicking on each of the l…

Kull wahad, everyone! To celebrate the release of the biggest movie of the year, we are folding space to return to the first time a director successfully (?) brought the Dune universe to the multiplex. But how does Lynch's much-maligned sci-fi masterpiece (?) hold up today without our fancy special effects and products? Find out here. Oh, Ellen's h…

Oh God....oh dear god no. Featuring: That which should have remained in dreams. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Listen to Salt's show Jen and the Film Critic with OGT guest and deep friend Jen Blundell he…

Oh boy... Featuring: a lot. Roll Plus Heart: https://roll-plus-heart.captivate.fm/ More Becs! https://twitter.com/StarlingGirl starlinggirl.carrd.co There is no more Helen than this. More Jen! https://twitter.com/JenBlundell More Sara! https://www.facebook.com/SaraKeepArt https://twitter.com/PenguinPanic?s=20&t=Ju0zqYyYI5lTHjkIYQ9Qag More Pauls! Mo…

The cruel twist is that we're actually all caught in The Net, except for Sandra Bullock! Yoinks. Well, whilst you're here and can't escape, why not hear us talk about the halcyon days when all this might have been avoided. Don't say they didn't warn you! Featuring: www.pizzajpegs.com, the escape key, some bits, some bites, and some very encrypted f…

Nell returns! With another movie about an alien sphere manifesting the fears of a crew of explorers...she has a type! Featuring: Nell. What more do you need? More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Listen to Salt…

Well, Argyle was terrible. Wasn't it better when Matthew Vaughan worked with Guy Ritchie? Just cranking out classic gangster movies...and Swept Away! ...with Madonna. Oh boy. Featuring: Racism, Homophobia, Misogyny, Madge's Abs, and some raw, unbridled SEX! probaby. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreo…

Time for a powerful reunion with Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, the masters of Cannon Group Films, a madhouse full of ninjas and buff dudes. Only this time they've got a buff gal and the ghost of a ninja. Will it be more entertaining than a movie with a troll and Courtney Cox? Tune in. Find out. Live free. Featuring: A lot of anti-police sentiment…

God January is depressing. If only something wonderful could happen to take our minds off of the bad weather, taxes and lack of Christmas. Oh my god! Jason Statham is here to kick everyone! YAY! And Becs is here to usher in the Stath Year. Aww. Featuring: Bees. Many, many bees. More Becs! https://twitter.com/StarlingGirl starlinggirl.carrd.co https…

Welcome to hell! AKA Kilmore High School. You'll get the hang of things pretty quickly. Those are the jocks, those are the cheerleaders, those are the nerds, and those guys? They're the Pauls...yeah...probably it's best just to leave them to it. None of us really...I mean, we don't... they're fine. We think they're fine. I mean they never...they mu…

Time to take a dip into the brand new year! What cinematic treats await us! ...oh, someone pooped in the pool. Good thing Katy Maydon is here to help us fish it out and fling it over the fence. Featuring: A member of the Russell family, a member of the Armstrong family, a member of the Kerry Condon dynasty, and a member of staff who asked us to lea…

Happy New Year, OGTEAM! Welcome to 2024. And what better way to start off an exciting new year than having a friend of the podcast, Helen Gaffney, suggest a film in her own inimitable way? God, I miss Christmas. Featuring: Dour British people struggling to find meaning in a conservative hellscape, and they talk about a movie with Tim Curry in it. M…

Happy Almost-New Year, OGTeam! It's been 350 dang episodes! And the Pauls have decided to celebrate by watching one of those films again without telling the other which one. What shall the Pauls treat themselves with and just how well do these two guys know each other after all this time? Featuring: the past, the present and, perhaps, the future! M…

Shhhh, it's Christmas day and we have a naughty surprise for all of you! We're heading to the kinkiest site on the web to explore each other and you're invited too, big person! Merry Christmas!By Paul Salt, Paul Goodman

Winter Welcomes, Everyone! It's Christmas weekend 2023 and we are celebrating by finishing off our mighty trilogy of contemporary Christmas movies with a Peacock original. Remember Peacock? I literally just heard of it and it's already shutting down. Merry Christmas! Featuring: One of the most gratifying vindications of my entire life. You'll know …

SAAAAAAAAAAANTA Claus is comin' to town! SAAAAAAAA...etc. Yes, it's the second part of the OGT Christmas Nightmare and we are plumbing the murky depths of Netflix Christmas. They've got some stars, they've got a once-hot director, and they've got a beaten horse that still has a sassy look in its hollowed-out eye socket, so let's make a Christmas Cl…

Christmas is here at last! Three episodes in one week, starting with a Hallmark adventure with Becs Watson! In a lighthouse! Woah! Featuring: More Christmas spirit than you'll be able to shake a lighthouse at. More Becs! https://twitter.com/StarlingGirl starlinggirl.carrd.co https://roll-plus-heart.captivate.fm/ More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogt…

Uh oh! The corporate overlords that control the conditions under which we are able to distribute all films, not just theirs, is in trouble. I hope they recover and regain their stranglehold over exhibition spaces! But until they do, let's have a look at their most recent piece of corporate art to see if it inspires in you the need to be a loyal and…

BLARGH! Sorry about that, folks; we've allowed a terrible caveman to write this episode description. After his first word, I decided to dictate. Fortunately, his typing is immaculate. Better than mine! Anyway, it's the history hole again, so we're reviewing some weird movie from ages ago. Enjoy! Featuring: Suzy, Debra, Betty, Valerie, Vicky, Archie…

In the future, people will only have one emotion each, but like different ones so they have to be separated. Where will Paul and Katy be sorted? Film nerds. They have a special headquarters. Outside of the city. In a ditch. Featuring: the hit new YA franchise everybody is talking about. More Katy! https://thathorrorchick.com/ More Pauls! https://fa…

It's a-me Paul Salt, and I'm here to do two things: remind everyone of the late 80s hit song "Tricky" by Run DMC and bemoan the fate of trained voice actors. If only I could find a way to do both! Featuring: the regular speaking voices of Hollywood celebrities (sigh). More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patr…

Felice Halloween, Amiche! It's time for your annual monster Halloween episode, and what an absolute prick of a monster this one was. A mammoth rundown of all of Dario Argento's Giallo films! (or the good ones, anyway. We stop at Opera because obviously). Enjoy! Featuring: Lance Henriksen, a loveable blind man, a monkey with a weird butt, Donald Ple…

Happy Halloween weekend, OGTeam! Ahead of our big spooky episode next week, Paul and Katy venture into the woods with nothing but a Ouija board and some important questions. Together, they find demons, Christians, Leslie Odom Jr. and true friendship. Featuring: God...playing tricks...on various people...but especially you. More Katy! https://thatho…

It's a decade episode, so the Pauls get to review whatever they like! And what better time to dip into the filmography of a certain Martin Scorsese than just ahead of the imminent release of his latest masterpiece? Goodman has never seen The King of Comedy before! Let's sort him out. Featuring: social anxiety! Ambition! Pupkin! More Pauls! https://…

Paul tries to hide his shame on a train whilst Paul adjusts his chair a lot. All this and more, if you can believe it! As the Pauls watch one of the most bleak and dispiriting films they've seen to date. Featuring: Oh god, don't ask. Ew. Twitter! We have a Patreon! Exclusive content for as little as $1 a month. Our Fiasco one-shot is being edited a…

Oh, alas, the Gorehouse Greats are behind us now. But let us move on and celebrate the arrival of Sweating Bullets! A new action box set from Mill Creek Entertainment that we shall be dipping in to whenever we need two easy episodes. And since Goodman is in Japan, why not do that dip! Dip it, folks! Featuring: Every Baldwin, a Star Trek Star's trek…

Excited about The Creator? So are we! We hope it's a smart blockbuster with breath-taking action and some confronting ideas. Not just a pile of rapidly dated CGI with mere lip service paid to important questions about AI...I, Robot! Featuring: The wiki wild wild robot future. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We hav…

Bloody gosh, Sarge! There's a bad man of some kind and he's doing bad stuff, I think. We better assemble an elite squad of bloody brilliant men and a woman to go and fight him. I like movies. Except the boring ones. Featuring: the knife guy, the gun guy, the other gun guy, a third gun guy, a second knife guy, a tech guy who was in twilight I think,…

'urcule Poiroh is back on the big screen this week. To celebrate, we are heading to Egypt, kind of, to enjoy Branagh's second Christie adventure. Featuring: Egypt care of Croydon and British Accents care of Brooklyn. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We have a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ogtpod – sign up for ex…

Watch out behind you! There's a spooky member of a monastic religious order behind you, and she's got far more than a bake sale on her mind! Join Paul and Katy for a sleepy start to an otherwise exhilarating look at one of the worst-received entries in the Conjuring cinematic universe. Featuring: Justin Timberlake, Father Shithouse, Sister Thomasin…

There's something meg-y about this summer blockbuster. Is it that Ben Bloody Wheatley (full name) directed it? Is it that Jason Statham seems to be having fun for once? Is it that we watched it in 4DX at great risk to our tenderest parts? Find out, in this thing we did. Featuring: Ol' Gregory the hook hand man! I have Covid. Sorry. More Becs! https…

Oh boy, it sure is swell to be out here in this field with our best gals and no worries. Say, what's that scary-looking carpet doing here? ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, my god, what is it? ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, etc. Featuring: ARGH, ARGH, ARGH, overt narration, Vic Bastard, and ARGH. More Pauls! https://facebook.com/…

I'm scared, and it smells weird, so we must be in the countryside. It's still recommendations month, and we are trudging through the muddy field of comedy horror, but will we discover old farmer Hoggins' lost watch along the way? Featuring: Squirrels, Pigeons and foxes; oh my! More Helen: On Roll Plus Heart, here: https://roll-plus-heart.captivate.…

Salve, everyone. Hope you're well. If you're hearing this transmision then it probably means the podcast has been sucked into a hell dimension. Shame that. Still, no sense crying about it now, best just make the best of it. That's the ticket. All the best to your and yours, Captain Dramatic. Featuring: Nell Heald talking about Event Horizon. Sorry,…

If you go into the cinema today, you'll encounter a bunch of lies! If you see Blood and Honey today, you'll see a Z-grade slasher in disguise, For Paul and Katy, and all other fans shall be annoyed, this is far from Cannes, For today is the day, OGT reviews the Poooooh film! Featuring: Winnie the Pooh, Piglett, and no one else. No one! More Pauls! …