In episode 3 of In These Shoes, we interview Dawn Callahan, owner of Bags Plus Some and board member of AVDA (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse). For Dawn, racism was a fact of life that her parents prepared her since she was a child and a factor in her name selection. Dawn shares how prejudice is a daily encounter and how it impacts her thoughts an…

Dr. William July, a licensed clinical psychologist in Houston, shares his experiences with racism in this second episode of In These Shoes. Dr. July, a former cop, shares how his terrifying teenage experience with the police prompted him to become an officer and what it was like to grow up as a black child in the 60's. Dr. July explains how anticip…

***Warning: Contains the use of a racist slur during the retelling of Chris' experience with racism.***In the first episode of In These Shoes, we interview Chris Boykins, the founder of Glory Fitness and the Boykins Youth Foundation. Chris shares his first experience with racism at age 9 on the baseball field and his everyday encounters even still …

Have you ever been on a date with someone who suddenly starts showering you with compliments and gifts? They don’t even seem to know much about you but quickly tell you they are in love with you and make you feel incredibly special. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses a dangerous manipulative behavior called love bombi…

There’s something thrilling and attractive about someone we can't have. Sometimes we convince ourselves if we could have them, we would be happy. Whether it’s your boss, your best friend’s ex, or someone's spouse, today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses why we fantasize about someone we shouldn't and how to stop it.Watch t…

Honesty is always the best policy, but volunteering information that will upset your partner or hurt their feelings is often better left unsaid. Before you share something with your partner, it’s important to consider whether this information will strengthen or grow the relationship. Today on Reaction Reset, I’m sharing my list of 5 things better l…

If you’re feeling more irritable lately or arguing with your partner more, you may be experiencing depression. The signs of depression are often hidden and become more likely with passing years due to changes with brain chemistry and aging. Today on Reaction Reset, we’re talking about subtle signs of depression.Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VQ…

By Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

By Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

By Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

By Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

By Mary Jo Rapini, LPC

Maybe it’s the magazines or romantic comedies, but we all seem to believe a set of expectations or myths when it comes to marriage. If you’re struggling with your marriage or about to tie the knot, we challenge you to see how many of these myths you hold true. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares 6 marriage myths she often…

It may sound strange to want to go back to someone who insulted, manipulated, or eve hit you, but it’s not uncommon. Trauma-bonding is the result of ongoing abuse that involved a reinforcement of reward and punishment and can be mistaken for love. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains the emotional tricks your brain plays…

Divorces are painful, and the people going through them are confused, angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You’re on a roller coaster of feelings and posting how you feel on social media about your divorce or your ex can lead to more drama. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses 5 social media posts that can make the after…

Sometimes we use relationships to cover up areas of our lives we don't like, such as insecurity, toxic family, or a lack of friends. These are called band-aid relationships. Deep down we know they are temporary, and it can create even more self-loathing and instability. On Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares some signs you're in o…

Ever get in an argument and you’re not sure what you are arguing about? Maybe what you're saying isn't what’s being heard. Something is misconstrued or taken out of context and, suddenly, the person hearing it becomes incensed. It happens at work, school, and home. Today on Reaction Reset, we’re talking about how miscommunication happens, its effec…

When couples split up, everyone wants to know what happened. Was there an affair? A big fight? In truth, it’s not always the big things that cause the biggest threat. Sometimes it’s the little things – the numerous times you broke a promise, didn’t show gratitude, or forgot a special occasion. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini…

After a breakup, it’s common to second guess yourself or feel lonely and isolated. Sometimes, these feelings are so intense that you find yourself seeking out your ex for intimacy or sex. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses the problems that arise in seeking out sex with your ex.Watch the YouTube version: https://youtu…

We all have secrets that we don’t share with our partners, especially when it comes to their feelings. However, there are important things you should not keep from your partner. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares 6 topics that can disrupt or destroy a relationship.Watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BXvS…

Most people think of grief as a reaction to death. But there are many types of grief, including the loss of identity, loss of autonomy, loss of safety, and the loss of dreams or expectations. On this Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini talks about these 4 types of hidden grief, and how important it is to take time to grieve what you feel…

Full of ups and downs, affairs are thrilling and intoxicating. You may find yourself, quite literally, addicted to the ride. On this Reaction Reaction, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains how affairs impact our brain chemistry in four stages. Watch the YouTube version of this: https://youtu.be/G5SrqpdRlMETrying to leave an emotional affair? Che…

Feeling as though you don’t love your partner anymore can be an overwhelming thought. Feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and fear may lead you to keep it to yourself. However, unless dealt with immediately, these feelings can lead to complete emotional disconnect, affairs, and possibly divorces. In this Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini…

No matter how committed your marriage is, there are common intimacy issues that arise for many couples. Those issues often come with painful feelings of embarrassment, shame, and guilt. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares 5 common reasons clients come to her for sex and intimacy counseling and a few tips for each.Watch th…

Within the first two years of your marriage, a marital style is being created. Unfortunately, couples rarely reflect or talk about their style. Once developed, it will either support or erode the marriage. Today on Reaction Reset, psychologist Mary Jo Rapini discusses about 5 marital styles and how they work. Need help determining your marriage sty…

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, there are relationships that are troubled more than average. They may be dangerously dysfunctional and staying in them can be harmful for your self-esteem and physical health. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini shares 5 signs you may be part of a dysfunctional relations…

Being in a relationship with a manipulator can feel like a roller coaster of guilt, shame, and self-loathing. You can be pressured into uncomfortable or even illegal situations. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains 5 ways to protect yourself and regain some of your confidence and control. Watch the YouTube video version:…

Being the partner of a commitment phobic is not easy. You are pushed and pulled, and the relationship has lots of stop and go moments. Today on Reaction Reset, we're talking about how people develop a fear of commitment and questions to ask yourself if you're love with a commitment phobe.Watch the YouTube version: https://youtu.be/sFCzjACVWdMReacti…

Many romantic movies feature an almost obsession-like love. However, in real life, an obsessive love story can quickly turn into a scary, twisted nightmare. In this Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini delves into the mind of an obsessive lover, explaining the different stages of an obsession and how to get out.Download the corresponding …

Fighting is inevitable and sometimes can even be beneficial when it gets issues out in the open and repaired, but it must be done fairly and with respect. Psychologist Mary Jo Rapini shares her top 5 rules for fighting fairly in this Reaction Reset.If each fight or argument leaves you feeling humiliated, abused, and shamed, it may be time to implem…

One of the reasons couples therapy is ineffective is because couples spend years ignoring or exacerbating deep issues. If you're avoiding therapy, it may be because your unsure it will help. In this Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini lists 6 signs marriage therapy can help and 3 situations where it won't.Need more help communicating wit…

There is a myth that you can change your partner after you’re married. Trying to change your partner is destructive to your marriage so it's much better to determine whether your marriage has healthy qualities before tying the knot. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini lists 5 qualities that sets up a marriage for success.Are you…

Whether you got cut off in traffic, bullied at school, or cheated on in a relationship, we’ve all felt the desire for revenge. Although that desire is understandable, seeking it or even achieving it will rarely soothe you. Today on Reaction Reset, Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains how revenge only perpetuates the cycle of pain.Need more help?…

When couples lose desire or interest in their partner, they often blame the problem on less action in the bedroom. That may be part of the problem, but the issue is usually more complex. Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini walks you through 5 OTHER types of intimacy that are crucial for your relationship.Watch the video version: https://youtu.be/yyx_kle…

Getting over an ex is hard - it's even harder when you're still connected to their social media. Orbiting is a new phenomenon that describes someone who leaves your life but continues to be involved in your social media. In some cases, it can make it incredibly hard to move on and establish healthy relationships. Today on Reaction Reset, psychother…

If you’ve been in relationships that involve recreational sex without an emotional component, you’ve probably felt the loneliness, uneasiness, and uncertainty that come with it. This can lead to cynicism and confusion about real, healthy love. If you're ready for a stable relationship, it may be time to change how you view sex. On this episode of R…

Being ghosted can be incredibly painful and heart-wrenching. The sudden disappearance creates confusion and insecurity, but the most psychologically damaging part of being ghosted is the lack of closure. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini will give you 5 ways to move on after being ghosted.Watch the video version: https://youtu…

A common relationship problem is when partners start competing against each other rather than working together as a team. It begins subtly, but over time you find yourself feeling angry and critical of your partner without fully understanding the reason. Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini talks about what happens when your partner, who use to be your b…

When couples talk badly about their partner, both partners begin feeling more resentful, jaded, betrayed, and unappreciated. All of sudden, you cannot imagine feeling turned on or sexual toward your partner. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini talks about how to change the way you talk about your partner.Watch the Video Version:…

Social media has many wonderful benefits but just as many dangerous downfalls. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses the perils of the "comparison trap" and how to avoid losing ourselves to filters and staged photos.Watch the video version: https://youtu.be/3E-AkEqY9e4Considering a social media break? Here's a great stud…

Life can be scary, and we'll all experience a personal crisis at some point. Being prepared to hold yourself together could save a life and help you keep your sanity. In this Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini will give 4 steps for surviving a personal crisis while sharing one of her own past experiences.Watch the video version: https:/…

No one can escape the effects of divorce. It’s painful and can have frightening physical and emotional impacts. Society may encourage you to have a post-divorce party and friends may tell you to celebrate, but this is the reality of divorce. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini discusses ways to take care of yourself and begin to…

When 30 million Americans are addicted to a vice for coping with uncomfortable feelings, it's critical that we practice emotional sobriety. Emotional sobriety may not necessarily bring you happiness and joy, but it can provide stability, healthy relationships, and a peaceful mind. Today on Reaction Reset, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini is talking a…

If you’re dating or married to someone who has confided in you about their assault, it is important that you understand your dating life will be different. This video discusses 5 ways that you can help support your partner. Remember, not every partner can manage the emotions of the survivor, and it’s important that you’re honest with yourself and t…

From the outside, codependency may appear to be a close, intense love. However, on a psychological level, you’re giving your power to another, limiting your ability to develop your own interests and beliefs. In this episode, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini gives four examples of a codependent relationship versus a healthy relationship.Looking for mo…

One problem that strike many relationships is when a partner becomes addicted to a vice. Regardless of the addiction, they involve similar destructive patterns and effects. In this episode, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini talks about the important steps to take when you decide to love your partner through an addiction.Watch on YouTube: https://youtu…

Picking up dirty socks or staying up all night with a sick baby isn’t exactly what Hollywood romance advertises. You may start to think, “Where has the passion gone?” If you’re feeling isolated, ignored or resentful, tune into this episode of Reaction Reset on keeping your marriage hot when you have young kids at home.Watch the video version: https…

Emotional abuse can take many forms, but the victims all agree how it makes you feel - crazy, unworthy, confused, stupid. It's the abuse we don’t often hear or talk about, but it exists in many relationships. On today’s Reaction Reset, we’re talking about how to identify emotional abuse and the steps you can take to get out.Watch the video version:…

Very rarely do couples consider the question, “How much of ‘us’ are we open to sharing?” Yet as social media grows and the internet blurs the lines on privacy, we are more likely to over-share than ever before. Today on Reaction Reset, we’re talking about 6 topics that should stay private in your relationship.Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RBJB…

We often shrug failed relationships off to people who were emotionally unavailable, but sometimes we are our own biggest obstacle. Whether you're seeking validation, obsessed with rescuing people, or counting on your partner to change, here are 5 ways you may be sabotaging your dating life and setting yourself up to fail.Watch on YouTube: https://y…