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Grappling with Fatherhood

Blake Kasemeier and Uday Malhotra

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Lessons learned in fatherhood and jiu jitsu and where they sometimes overlap. This weekly conversation between Blake Kasemeier and Uday Malhotra unpacks the learning, struggles and triumphs of two dads who also happen to be high-level jiu jitsu practitioners. Topics covered range from raising toddlers with emotional intelligence to balancing jiu jitsu with real-world responsibilities to our weekly snack haul from Trader Joes.
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Good Grief

Blake Kasemeier

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Welcome to Good Grief, a place for us to have a real healthy talk about mourning and loss. In early 2018 I lost my mom to a brief, but brutal fight with lung cancer and I realized that I had no idea how to process my grief. I started journaling and researching and (eventually) healing and this podcast is a result of that process. Each episode is based on a theme that we’ll unpack with expert interviews, novice slice-of-life anecdotes and, where appropriate, some relevant cultural references ...
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Join hosts Uday Malhotra and Blake Kasemeier on "Grappling with Fatherhood" as they unravel common myths in both parenting and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. In this episode, they de…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Join hosts Uday Malhotra and Blake Kasemeier for a special AMA episode of "Grappling with Fatherhood." This week, they tackle listener questions on three profound topics: w…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/This week, Blake and Uday address a wide range of topics, from managing time effectively to dealing with anxiety, and fitting jiu-jitsu training into a busy parenting sched…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Join hosts Uday Malhotra and Blake Kasemeier on "Grappling with Fatherhood" as they delve into the complex world of screen time. Exploring both its value and potential dang…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotra(Discount Code: SPRING2024)Get Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Join Uday and Blake as they share personal anecdotes and candid reflections on the challenges and triumphs of balancing the demands of family lif…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotra(Discount Code: SPRING2024)Get Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Join hosts Uday Malhotra & Blake Kasemeier on "Grappling with Fatherhood" as they delve into the profound journey of learning from mistakes. Thro…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotra(Discount Code: SPRING2024)Get Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/On this episode of "Grappling with Fatherhood" Uday and Blake explore the transformative power of effective communication. Drawing from personal …
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotra(Updated Discount Code: SPRING2024)Get Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Uday & Blake tackle the relentless pursuit of excellence in both parenthood and grappling on "Grappling with Fatherhood." In this episode…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotra(Updated Discount Code: SPRING2024)Get Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/Embark on a poignant exploration of managing anxiety in both parenthood & Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with hosts Uday Malhotra & Blake Kasemeier …
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/In this episode of "Grappling with Fatherhood," hosts Uday Malhotra & Blake Kasemeier delve into the art of managing bad behavior, both on and off the mats. Join Uday and B…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/In this episode of Grappling with Fatherhood, hosts Uday Malhotra & Blake Kasemeier unpack the intersection of hitting milestones in both Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu & parenthood.J…
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Get Uday’s BJJ Fanatics Tutorial: https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotraGet Fluid Tactical Electrolyte Drink Mix: https://store.livefluid.com/In this episode of Grappling with Fatherhood, join seasoned hosts Uday Malhotra and Blake Kasemeier as they delve deep into the intricacies of balancing parenthood with the…
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Get Uday's BJJ Fanatics "Elite No Gi Fundamentals" here:https://bjjfanatics.com/products/elite-no-gi-fundamentals-by-uday-malhotrJoin hosts Blake Kasemeier and Uday Malhotra in a raw and real conversation on the latest episode of "Grappling with Fatherhood." This week, the duo explores the challenging terrain of burnout, drawing parallels between t…
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Get ready for an insightful episode on "Grappling with Fatherhood," where the worlds of fatherhood and jiu-jitsu collide. Hosts Uday Malhotra and Blake Kasemeier engage in a candid conversation exploring the profound lessons learned when dealing with change on and off the mats.Join the duo as they share personal stories, unveiling the parallels bet…
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Hey gang! We are in the processes of editing a backlog of episodes we have recorded, but in the meantime we wanted to publish this special announcement. Spoiler alert, this episode goes heavy on the jiu jitsu and light on the fatherhood, but it's for good reason, we promise! Thank you all for rocking with us last year - much more to come. Get Uday'…
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In this episode we unpack how our expectations of being parents and jiu jitsu players compared to our actual experiences. We also talk about how these expectations can cause unwarranted stress and anxiety, and ultimately how we can focus a little more on our experiences than our imagination. Questions, comments, concerns? Reach out at grapplingwith…
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In this episode we unpack the idea of the “white belt mentality” and how we can apply it to fatherhood. The feeling of eagerness and seeing everything as an opportunity to grow and get better. The absence of ego and presence of excitement - everything that we felt when we first started out on our journey. Questions, comments, or concerns? Please dr…
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It’s belt promotion season. What does that mean to you, and how can the concept of belt promotions in Jiu Jitsu apply to parenthood? In this episode we get into it, plus Blake turns 40 and Uday travels to Vegas to teach a seminar. We also answer some questions about how jiu jitsu practitioners navigate their own feelings and expectations around get…
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In this episode we dig into community - it takes a village to raise a child and you cannot do jiu jitsu without a partner. Topics covered include: struggling with the mental and emotional challenges with job hunting, the importance of community as we get older and how to cultivate it, and a little bit of Masters World Championships. As always thank…
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In this episode we Uday and Blake get into competition mindset. What it means to be a competitor vs a participant - in jiu jitsu, fatherhood and life. Blake talks about training on vacation and Uday explains what it takes to get a team ready to take on a tournament. If you have any questions feel free to reach out: grapplingwithfatherhoodpod@gmail.…
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This is a long one, we're sorry and you're welcome. This week we get into some of the challenges going on in our personal lives as well as some challenges in raising kids and pushing ourselves on the mats. We also cover (at length) how we both found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and how it came to be such an important part of our lives. If you have any quest…
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This week Uday and Blake talk about balancing (and sometimes failing at balancing) the many roles we inhabit: dads, husbands, providers, competitors and coaches. If you have any questions you'd like us to address please reach out to grapplingwithfatherpod@gmail.com Show Notes: TWIF (2:00): Uday talks Disneyland and traveling with the kids, Blake ta…
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This week in grappling and in fatherhood is all about checking our egos. From getting tapped by lower belts to realizing we don’t have this gentle parenting thing totally figured out, this week was full of lessons in humility. If you have questions you'd like us to address please reach out to: grapplingwithfatherhoodpod@gmail.com…
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Welcome to the Grappling with Fatherhood podcast. This is our first episode so thanks in advance for rolling with us (see what I did there?) as we work out the kinks. If you have questions you'd like us to address please reach out to: grapplingwithfatherhoodpod@gmail.comIn this episode we cover:3:10 - This week in fatherhood Uday got an unexpected …
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Finding a final resting place fro my mom's remains was an incredibly complicated and difficult processes. We had a lot of expectation for how we would feel and how we should feel which lead to a lot of guilt and uncertainty. In this episode we unpack all of this and talk a little about how art theory relates to grief. Enjoy! You can find transcript…
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This week is a little different. I explore the passing of my good friend Lara, the tattoos we got together and the history of Japanese and Maori tattoos. This episode deals quite a bit with the feelings experienced when a friendship is estranged when someone passes. I also talk a bit about my failed music career and my years in the Slam poetry scen…
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Being a non-traditional family, my mom and I created our own rituals to figure out how we fit in the world. This week I talk about those as well as taking a deep dive into the significance of rituals for processing grief and understanding our own identity. You can find transcripts and more images from these episodes here: medium.com/@blakeoftoday I…
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Social media generally, and Facebook specifically, are difficult to navigate when you're processing loss. This episode gets into my first experiences with social media and death over ten years ago, and how it changed the way I processed my mom's passing. This episode also has some helpful information for how you can manage the accounts of a decease…
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Funerals are hard, and as an increasingly secular society we have moved farther away from the traditions of honoring the dead, shielding ourselves from these really uncomfortable moments. In this episode I talk about my mom's memorial service and both of her weddings, as well as some useful information about what to expect in the last days of a ter…
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My mom and I were both endorphin junkies, and this episode unpacks our bond as well as the chemical processes that your brain experiences when you exercise. Specifically I talk a lot about how and why exercise is a powerful antidepressant, and how I used it cope with my grief. This episode also goes into a lot of detail about catharsis and Brazilia…
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In this episode address the process of notifying my mom's estranged friends and family of her passing. The episode admittedly gets pretty heady and deep into some barstool philosophy, but this is how I was actually processing this task, so, like everything on this podcast, know that it was, if nothing else, very real. If you like this episode, plea…
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As humans, the way we make and process memories is haphazard at best. When you are processing a particularly traumatic experience, the death of a parent in my case, your brain does all kinds of crazy tricks to protect you by masking or hiding some of these memories. In this episode I explore some of these common faults and walk you through my own e…
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Insomnia is one of the more common side effects of grief, it's also a weird condition that I shared with my mom. In this episode I talk about my experiences with insomnia and grief....and picking up on baristas when I was a younger man. If you like this episode, please subscribe, share with your friends and give us a positive rating. Want more? Fol…
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On January 14th 2018, I lost my mom to a very brief but brutal fight with lung cancer. She was 57. A few weeks prior we were binge watching “Cheapest Weddings” on Netflix and eating turkey burgers together, a lot of people say this but we really didn’t see it coming. This podcast is my personal journal, processing mechanism, and an attempt to bring…
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