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Tammy (Child Custody Coach) shares her experience and insights gained from her own divorce and subsequent step family. She also worked alongside her late husband, Attorney Thomas D. Ferreira, for over 15 years as a paralegal and mediator before beginning her child custody coaching practice in 2019. Thomas passed away on May 1, 2023 and Tammy continues to share the wisdom she gained from Thomas through the years as well as her own perspective. Tammy specializes in helping parents who are deal ...
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Veteran Divorce, Child Custody, & Family Law Attorney, Leigh Sellers, serves as your guide through the foreign world of Splitsville – an alien place with its own rules, its own expectations, and even its own language. You won't find it on Google Maps, and your GPS won't work here. So if you’re feeling lost, you’re in the right place. With decades of experience serving clients in North Carolina (Charlotte, Monroe, Waxhaw, Concord, Gastonia, Weddington, NC) and South Carolina (Fort Mill, Rock ...
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The Enormity of the Tedium – Episode 302 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time. I’m sure you’ve heard that joke before but it’s no joke when you are dealing with the overwhelm that comes from the family court process. In this episode, I’ll help you understand some of the tedious aspects of court and…
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Determining What Is Important in Child Custody
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Determining What Is Important in Child Custody – Episode 301 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the biggest struggles I see for parents is understanding what is and isn’t important to the Court in your child custody case. What seems logical to us is not always what is important to the Court. Parents often focus on whether they are a b…
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The Narcissist is the Key – Episode 300 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I know, you’re thinking the key to what? We often think of all the negatives that come from having been in a narcissistic relationship: the trauma, the frustration, the ongoing parenting conflict, and the list goes on. But like any trial in life, there are also positi…
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Custody is a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Episode 299 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The Courts have both short-term and long-term issues to resolve in custody cases. When cases start of with a “bang” like a domestic violence filing or emergency orders, the Court is looking at short-term issues. When the outcome is unfavorable to us, we ofte…
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You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case
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You Are In Charge of Your Child Custody Case – Episode 298 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re in Court it’s easy to feel like everyone else is in control, your attorney, the judge, the experts and that you have no say. You actually have the option to advocate for yourself, even if you have an attorney, if you know how to navigate…
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Trust the Process – Episode 297 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trusting the process can be very difficult, especially when you have a negative outcome in your first interaction with the Court. Many times, our own emotional patterns work against us in trusting the process. There are reasons that the Court does things in particular order a…
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Expectations vs Reality in Child Custody – Episode 296 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are dealing with child custody issues, we have expectations of our children, our co-parent and most of all the Court. But when our expectations don’t match reality, we end up feeling all kinds of negative emotions like frustration, anxiety, depr…
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Finding a Narcissist’s Kryptonite – Episode 295 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with a narcissist is all about regaining the emotional power. There are ways that you can do this, even if it feels impossible. In this episode, I’ll give you my top three tips to accomplish this and one of them you will be able to start immediately! T…
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What You Say vs What You Do – Episode 294 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you consistent? Consistency creates credibility with the Court. Often, we recognize inconsistency in our ex, the Courts, or other professionals but it’s easy to miss your own inconsistent behavior. When the Court feels that your words match your actions, you hav…
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The Power of Doing Nothing – Episode 293 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The decisions you m…
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Early Decisions Are the Most Impactful – Episode 292 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the analogy of how turning the nose on an airplane, even as little as one degree, before takeoff can land the plan in a completely different destination hundreds of miles away? Well, the same is true in your child custody case. The dec…
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Your Life is a Story – Episode 291 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We don’t realize on a daily basis that we are writing the words, paragraphs, pages, and chapters of our life story. The struggles and trials become so consuming that we lose sight of the big picture. What lessons are you learning that will strengthen you or create a positi…
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When Child Custody Feels Overwhelming – Episode 290 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The issues in child custody are not great in number, but great in detail. Many small decisions are needed to resolve the overall problems. It’s like being pecked to death by chickens! So, what do you need to focus on and how do you best manage all the tedi…
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Creating Child Custody Magnets – Episode 289 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the challenges separating parents face is creating two worlds for their children. Many times, parents feel it’s best to leave the children in the family home and not force them to transition between homes. And if you have teenagers, they can be very resist…
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It Won’t Always Be This Way – Episode 288 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel like our day-to-day life is static and that whatever we are going through will last forever. However, life is contact change. So, if you’re in a rough season or trial, the good news is that it won’t last forever and if you’re in a good season, the le…
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Exchanging the Children – Episode 287 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even though exchanges of children generally happen one to three times per week depending on your parenting schedule, we rarely seem to talk about how to have them go smoothly. These exchanges are obviously stressful for divorcing or separating parents but they can be ex…
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The Nature of the Narcissist – Episode 286 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding the nature of the narcissist is one of the keys to managing them effectively. Narcissists do not see the world the same way a non-narcissist sees the world. Our values and morals don’t typically match the values and morals of the narcissist. To win th…
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3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case
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3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case – Episode 285 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Giving testimony on the witness stand is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce or child custody case. But there are strategies you can use to help you stay calm and make a good impression on the Court. To learn more about how I can suppor…
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Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 284 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you know if your child custody situation has a material or substantial change of circumstances? What are Judges looking for? In this episode, I’ll share some stories on past cases and talk about some of the more common circumstances that Judges t…
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Do Judges Understand Narcissism? – Episode 283 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, it can be frustrating to try and get the Court to understand that your ex is a narcissist. If we could just get the Judge to understand what we’re dealing with, that would solve the problem, right? B…
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False Allegations In Child Custody – Episode 282 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents deal with false allegations from the other parent. This can come in many forms. Sometimes, it comes through the child, sometimes we are dealing with it in our communication with the other parent, and sometimes, we are dealing with it in the court…
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Overthinking In Child Custody - Episode 281 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are an overthinker like me, then you probably analyze everything your co-parent does or says. And you’re always trying to figure out their agenda. Overthinking would seem to give you a logical advantage but in reality, it often results in an emotional disad…
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Narcissists vs. Empaths - Episode 280 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It is very common for a person that is an empath to end up in a relationship with someone with narcissistic qualities. The two people have often experienced similar childhood traumas but the effects of the trauma manifest in completely opposite ways. This is why the pus…
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Nesting in Child Custody - Episode 279 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Nesting is a parenting arrangement where the children remain in the home and the parents rotate in and out. This is an uncommon arrangement and is rarely used by the Court. However, it can be necessary for financial arrangements or when you have an ill or special needs…
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What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common
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What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common - Episode 278 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many of the behaviors we experience with our toddlers are reflected in similar behaviors from narcissists. And while we expect bad behavior from our toddler, it’s not so cute once a person reaches adulthood. The good news is that we can learn effect…
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