Single Mother by Choice (former co-host of The Mocha SMC Podcast) Hera McLeod teams up with her precocious nine year old daughter Estela for the podcast "Seeking Different". The Mom and Kid duo explore what it looks like to navigate the world as a non-traditional family. They discuss hot topics such as donor sibling relationships, family travel, school choice, race relations, and navigating the playground.
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Following on from series one of the previously named ‘Redefining Parenthood Podcast’, host Becky of DefiningMum is joined by co-host Hayley King of All Things Donor Conception to form the ‘Paths to Parenthub podcast’. Sharing perspectives as parents to donor-conceived children, and in Hayley’s case being a donor-conceived person herself, they focus on conversations about some of the more complex, nuanced aspects of donor conception. With the hope of providing different perspectives, informat ...
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Welcome to DNA Surprises, a podcast that delves into the world of unexpected DNA discoveries. I'm your host, Alexis Hourselt. In July 2021, my life took a surprising turn when I found out l'm an NPE-a person who's experienced a non-paternal event. In other words, my biological father isn't who I thought he was. Join me as we explore the stories of NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people and their families. Get ready to unravel the astonishing journeys that begin with a simple DNA test —th ...
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As a daughter of two mothers, I always knew that I was conceived with the help from donorsperm. When I was young I always questioned my parents about my donor father but they couldn't give me a answer, I am a child of man who was a ID release donor in the 90's. In the Netherlands, the country I was born and conceived in has rules about donorchildren meeting there ID release donor. I am from the first generation of donorchildren in the Netherlands that was conceived with a ID release donor. I ...
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Hosted by the donor conceived novice journalist Kaleigh Karnal, the Message in a Bottle podcast investigates the anonymous sperm and egg donation industry, one person at a time. She sits down with her own sperm donor father, half-siblings, and other members of the donor conceived community to talk about how at-home DNA kits can turn your life upside down, the dangerous realities of an unregulated system, navigating new family relationships, and much more. CONTACT: MESSAGEINABOTTLEPOD@GMAIL.C ...
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Season 3, Episode 1: Revolutionizing Donor Identity Disclosure with Dylan Morgan from Cascade Cryobank
28:53
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Ever wondered what it's like to transition from a sperm donor to the Chief Operations Officer of a leading cryobank? Join us in an eye-opening episode of Seeking Different as Dylan Morgan, COO of Cascade Cryobank, takes us through his personal and professional journey. We'll explore Cascade Cryobank's groundbreaking Early Identity Disclosure Progra…
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I’ve told my child they’re donor conceived - but does anyone else really need to know?
40:31
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Disclosing to our children the truth about their conception story is now (thankfully) seen as practice within our communities - however, deciding who else to tell, whether other family members, friends or even our children’s school teacher or caregiver can be a more complex choice. In this episode Becky and Hayley talk about their own personal expe…
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Welcome to the Season 8 finale of DNA Surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Deanna, who shares her NPE story. Deanna has experienced unspeakable amounts of hardship in her life, from abandonment to abuse to her DNA discovery. Her story is difficult - and powerful. You’ll hear how she’s still reckoning with the what-might-have-beens and the whys…
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Every DNA Surprise is unique—the who, what, when, and why surrounding an NPE vary from person to person. Still, after nearly 100 interviews, I’ve noticed consistent themes in these stories. One of those themes is a complicated mother-child relationship. When Jennifer took her DNA test, she had no idea that her family tree would change forever. As i…
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DNA Surprises are confusing. They’re confusing for the people they happen to as they try to make sense of newfound information. With so many characters, twists, and turns in each story, they’re also confusing for people listening to DNA Surprises stories. This week’s DNA surprise story is no exception. In fact, it features a triple-NPE. So before w…
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To paraphrase The Beatles, we get by with a little help from our friends. This is especially true when it comes to DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, coworkers Robyn and Ida share their NPE discoveries, which happened right around the same time. In fact, Robyn used her genealogy skills to identify Ida’s father. They each reflect on their person…
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In this episode, Hayley and Becky discuss a topic that is currently in the media due to the new Netflix Documentary, 'The Man with 1000 Kids'. This has raised questions and discussions about a number of donor siblings and the differences between worldwide family limits and UK family limits. Hayley, with personal experience dealing with donor siblin…
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DNA surprises rarely happen in a vacuum. So many of the people I speak to have experienced other traumas throughout their lives, long before sending off DNA tests. In this week’s episode, Courtney shares how her mother’s mental health struggles played a large part in her childhood. She knew she was adopted by her stepfather when she was young and g…
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Bonus Episode | Generational Healing - A Conversation About Generational Trauma with Therapist Iliamari Vazquez Houston
30:57
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In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I chat with Iliamari Vazquez Houston, a therapist based out of the Phoenix metro area. Iliamari will facilitate a session on generational trauma - and generational healing - at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ. We discuss what generational trauma is and how we can begin to break …
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Sometimes, after DNA surprises are revealed, our relationships with our raised parents become strained. Sometimes, this leads to estrangement. But for others, these surprises simply compound already strained relationships. When Dawn had her DNA surprise, she was already virtually no contact with her mother. In this week’s episode, she shares why sh…
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Bonus Episode | Just Breathe - An Introduction to Breathwork with Jenna Hedstrom
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In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I chat with Jenna Hedstrom, E-RYT 500 and Expert Breathwork Facilitator. Jenna will lead a breathwork session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ. During our conversation, we discuss what breathwork is and how it benefits us. We also chat about how to overcome blockers around pra…
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(CW: Suicide, abuse) A common question in our community is “when is the right time to tell the truth about parentage?” While some say there is never a good time to tell, many believe that the truth should be shared from birth. In this week’s episode, Miranda’s story highlights the importance of telling early - and often. Miranda’s mother never hid …
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Bonus Episode | Trauma-Informed Yoga with Lanita Ugstad
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During this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I interview advanced yoga teacher Lanita Ugstad. Lanita will facilitate a gentle movement session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ. We discuss how yoga is beneficial for people who have experienced trauma, and what it means to facilitate a session through a trauma lens. La…
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Did you grow up feeling different from your family? That feeling of being inexplicably out of place haunts many people in the DNA surprise community throughout childhood and adulthood - before they uncover the truth. In this week’s episode, Sarah shares how while she always felt different from her family - she was more sensitive and had a different…
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Bonus Episode | Processing Betrayal Trauma with Therapist Venessa De La Cruz
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In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I speak with therapist Venessa De La Cruz about betrayal trauma. Venessa will facilitate a session on Betrayal Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22 in Phoenix, AZ. She defines what betrayal trauma is and how things like DNA surprises can manifest for us both physically and mentally. We also div…
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So many DNA surprises start with a gift. Mothers Day. Fathers Day. Prime Day. Christmas. Almost every month, consumer DNA testing companies offer deals encouraging people to give a DNA test as a present. If you’re listening to this podcast, you know how this sometimes turns out. In this week's episode, Shannon shares how after receiving a DNA test …
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Will I bond with my child if we don’t share DNA?
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In this episode, Becky and Hayley dive into the topic of ‘Attachment and Bonding’, a complex subject that many parents of donor-conceived children are understandably concerned about. Questions such as ‘Will I bond with my child born through egg donation?’ or ‘How will I feel about my baby if we don’t share genetics?’ are all addressed in a compassi…
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Bonus Episode | Inner Child, Inner Healing - An Intro to Parts Work with Therapist Megan Irwin
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This special episode of DNA Surprises features Megan Irwin, a licensed therapist specializing in grief, loss, trauma, and PTSD. Megan will facilitate a session on parts work at the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat, September 19-22 in Phoenix, AZ. During our discussion, we covered what parts work is (and isn’t) and why people typically think of it in terms…
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Race. Ethnicity. Heritage. These are complex topics without the added nuance of a DNA surprise. Author Janeen Jackson grew up with two younger brothers and her parents in an African American household. In this week’s episode, she shares how, through a DNA test, she not only learned that she is adopted, but that her biological father is a white man.…
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If there is one thing I hope we can all agree on, it’s that families come in all shapes and sizes. Many people with DNA surprises end up with two, three, or more fathers and just as many mothers, too. When Steve experienced his DNA surprise, he already had two men in his life that he called “Dad.” After he learned the truth about who his biological…
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Most of the time, when I speak to people on the podcast, we learn that the reason they took the test was out of curiosity or for fun. Maybe they were given the DNA test as a gift from a friend or significant other. So imagine my surprise when I learned that this week’s guest was given her Ancestry DNA kit by her mother. Welcome to Season 8 of DNA S…
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Choosing a donor can feel like a huge and momentous decision, with lots of emotions involved, information to consider, and steps to take as you move towards becoming a parent through donor conception. Hayley and Becky talk about their own personal experiences of selecting their donors, the smaller decisions that led them to go ahead with their deci…
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There is never a good time to discover that the man you’ve called “Dad” for your entire life isn’t biologically related to you, but I imagine that having this realization as he lays in a hospital bed, dying, must be among the worst. In the season 7 finale of DNA Surprises, Dana Schmalenberg shares how she uncovered the truth that both of her parent…
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Early and Often (ish!) - Talking to our children about their conception story
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Early disclosure within donor-conceived families is thankfully now considered best practice, however, that doesn’t mean that the process of ‘telling’ is as easy as child’s play. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a closer look into the practicalities of discussing conception stories with our donor-conceived children, whilst also exploring some …
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Angela, Wyatt, Cassidy, and Cody’s DNA Surprise
1:09:15
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How do you define family? For so many of us, DNA surprises have made us reflect deeply on this question. For Wyatt, Cassidy, Cody, and Angela, the answer is different depending on who you ask.Twenty-plus years ago when Wyatt, Cassidy, and Cody were born, fertility clinics didn’t advocate for disclosure. So when their mother and father asked Angela,…
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Many of us who have had DNA surprises spend some time wondering “What if?” What if we’d been raised in a different house, with our newly discovered biological parent? What if we’d known the truth from the beginning? What would our lives look like now? Would they be better? Or…would they be worse? In this week’s episode, Lisa shares how she uncovere…
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Picture this: you grow up with a sibling who is convinced they are not your dad’s biological child. No one knows about DNA surprises or NPEs or anything like that, but they just know their dad isn't THEIR dad. Years later, after commercial DNA testing becomes commonplace, you offer them some peace of mind. All of your siblings take a test to prove,…
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Secrets. Secrets are often at the beginning of a DNA surprise. But after the surprise is uncovered, is that the end of them? In this week’s episode, Ryan shares how on one fateful Thanksgiving, his mother confessed the truth about his paternity. When he spoke to his birth certificate father and his biological father, they both requested that he con…
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Something that I’ve heard more than once on this podcast is a situation that goes something like this: people are having an argument. A mother and child. A husband and wife. Both parents with their child, or some other combination. And then, in the heat of the moment, someone reveals the truth. So and so isn’t your real dad anyway. And then, just a…
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Tina grew up believing that her biological father didn’t want to be part of her life. Imagine her shock when, after taking a DNA test, she found out that her biological father is someone else altogether. In this week’s episode, Tina shares how she found her biological father and then quickly lost him. She also reveals her family history of NPEs, in…
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The thing about DNA Surprises is that they can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter your race, socioeconomic status, politics, or background. In this week’s episode, my guest, author Robin Schepper, shares her DNA surprise story. For more than thirty years, Robin served at the highest levels of American politics and government. including on four pre…
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Imagine being 16 and witnessing your parents’ divorce. Imagine finding out at this time that the man who raised you is not your biological father. After finding your biological father and failing to connect, you go through the next three decades just living your life. You have a child. You get married. You get divorced. And then you take a DNA test…
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Season 2, Episode 11: Navigating the Thrills and Spills of Tween Crushes and Gossip
22:40
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Remember the flutters of first crushes and the buzz of schoolyard whispers? Together with my daughter Estela, we take a heartfelt plunge into the world of tween crushes and the ensuing gossip that can feel like navigating a minefield. We swap stories, with Estela offering a peek into the pulse of today's tween experiences, rife with the excitement …
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Sometimes, DNA surprises happen more than once. NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people might have their worlds shaken, only to have it happen again months, years, or even decades later. In this week’s episode, Daughter Dee shares her late discovery adoptee experience, which was followed decades later by an NPE. She shares how she learned that s…
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Managing feelings and emotions around ‘Genetic Loss’ can be a challenge for many parents who have used a donor to build their family. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a deep dive into the complexities of the emotions surrounding genetic loss, how they can present themselves, and why it’s so important for us to validate and speak up about this…
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Erika's incredible DNA surprise journey starts with a mind-altering awakening. Erika always felt an underlying sense of 'otherness' in her family. After an experience with psilocybin, or “magic mushrooms,” she realized that there was a big lie in her life. Thanks to a DNA test and a potent dose of self-awareness, a truth emerges that casts her enti…
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Season 2, Episode 10: Defying Silence: A Mother's Memoir and the Fight for Children's Justice
19:21
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Hera and Estela bring you a new episode - that explains why they've taken a bit of a hiatus. They've both been writing books! And Hera has just released her memoir, ten years in the making, that's both deeply personal and universally touching. "Defying Silence," her memoir, unveils the heart-wrenching journey of losing her son and the struggle agai…
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Welcome to Season 7 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Jenniffer shares how she unraveled her mother's deep secrets via DNA testing. Jenniffer talks about growing up in a Venezuelan family, fostered at times by her paternal grandparents, only to discover later in life that she shares no DNA with them. In addition, she learned tha…
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Welcome to the season 6 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jamie bravely shares her DNA surprise journey, which began 5 years ago with a 23&Me test. Jamie’s story encapsulates many parts of the DNA surprise stories we hear. She shares how her NPE came as a complete surprise. Her story includes an ethnic shift, from Italian to Portugue…
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In this week's episode, we delve into Barbara's DNA surprise story. Barbara grew up with a strong connection to her German heritage before discovering, in her fifties, that she was donor-conceived and of Jewish descent. She discusses the challenges she faced, the shock and sense of displacement she felt after the discovery, and the impact it had on…
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Talking Terminology: Exploring the Nuance
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In a recent social media post Becky talked about 'acceptance' being key as a recipient parent through donor conception, specifically around accepting that there is another person who holds a 'parent' title in the scientific, genetic sense, as opposed to the day-to-day parenting role. This sparked a discussion within the comments thread, which is wh…
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In this week’s episode, Lawrence shares his surprise at learning that he is a late discovery adoptee. After he took a DNA test, Lawrence discovered that the mom who raised him is not his biological mother. He describes his search for his biological family, as well as the truth about his birth story, and how his newfound relationships are blossoming…
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Bonus Episode | Announcing the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat!
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Have you been wondering when and where the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat will be held? In this bonus episode, Debbie and I share all of the details about next year's DNA Surprise Retreat. We also chat about what we loved about 2023's retreat and what we look forward to next year. Registration for the retreat opens November 15, 2023. Visit www.dnasurpri…
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One of the most healing things that we can do during our DNA surprise journeys is to write about them. In this week's episode, I'm joined by author Michelle Tullier. Michelle talks about her journey of finding out the truth, her initial reaction to her discovery, and how she has processed the emotions and navigated her new relationships. She also d…
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Not many of us experience our DNA surprises on television, but this week’s guest did exactly that. Patrice is a foundling adoptee, adopted at just a few months old after being abandoned in a garbage bin. She always knew she was adopted, but as an adult, she decided she wanted to look for her biological family. The TLC show Long Lost Family shows he…
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Bonus Episode: An update from Michael Paul
24:46
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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Michael Paul first joined me in Season 2, shortly after his discovery. In this bonus episode, Michael shares an update on what's happened in his life since we last spoke. He shares his journey of discovering the importance of self-care and setting boundaries after a DNA surprise. He also discusses his ev…
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If you’re familiar with other DNA surprise podcasts, this week’s guest needs no introduction. And if you aren’t allow me to introduce you to Lily Wood, host of NPE Stories. Lily started NPE Stories after experiencing her own NPE in 2019. She is a strong presence in our community, a bonafide truth-teller, and I call her one of the OGs in this space.…
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Season 2, Episode 9: Part II of Donor Dylan's Story - The Sperm Donor with 97 Biological Children
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This is Part II of Donor Dylan's story. Picture this – you just found out you have 97 biological children. Baffled? So was our guest, Donor Dylan, when he discovered this shocking revelation due to sperm donation. In a heart-to-heart conversation, Dylan unravels his rollercoaster journey of having so many biological children. We dig into his initia…
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Something we unfortunately hear too often in our community is that NPEs were treated differently as children. In this week’s story, Nina shares how her DNA surprise explained why her mother treated her poorly her entire life. She also discusses how her newfound connections are going and how she is working to accept that she may never find answers. …
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Season 2, Episode 8: The Man with 97 Biological Children (Part I) – Donor Dylan's Tale of Sperm Donation and Discovery
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Ever wonder what it's like to walk into a sperm bank, answer some peculiar questions, donate, and then years later discover you have 97 biological children? That's exactly what happened to Donor Dylan, our guest in this riveting discussion. Dylan lets us into his journey of discovery, the shock of learning that he has a multitude of biological chil…
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