A non-anxious leader works to be their best self so that others can do the same. Here's what that looks like. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Non-anxious leaders say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. In this political season, the research shows why this matters. Show Notes: When Political Discussions Get Heated, Is It Best to Just Stay Out of It? from Kellogg Insight Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for T…

Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this final segment of our discussion, we discuss how a leader manages healthy connection, what progress looks like and Kathleen's take on societal anxiety. Show Notes: ⁠Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your…

Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, we discuss the importance of mini-steps, the nature of doing your own work, why connection matters in leadership and the anxiety of progress. Show Notes: ⁠Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your…

Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, we discuss managing anxiety, embracing discomfort and how overfunctioning and underfunctioning are related. Show Notes: Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down Tru…

Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, she shares how she got into Bowen Theory, as well as suggestions for how people can do their own family of origin work. Show Notes: Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally C…

Robert Kegan's five stages of adult development are analogous to the process of self-differentiation. Here's my take. Show Notes: Adult Development Theory: How Can Leaders Grow As Adults? Part 1 – Context Professionals How To Be an Adult: The 5 Stages of Adult Development (sourcesofinsight.com)Podcast - The Non-Anxious Leader (thenonanxiousleader.c…

Understanding the difference between worry, stress, anxiety and excitement can help leaders remain a non-anxious presence in the most challenging moments. Show Notes: The Difference Between Worry, Stress and Anxiety by Emma Pattee A Bundle of Nerves – Choiceology Podcast with Katy Milkman Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitem…

This episode continues with an explanation of Positive Intelligence and covers the three strategies to increase your PQ so you can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine Take the Saboteur Assessment | Positive I…

Positive Intelligence is a practical approach to help you be your best through self-regulation and self-differentiation. This two-part series explains what it is and how it can help you. Show Notes: Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine Take the Sab…

It's getting harder and harder for us to work together across differences. Here's a family systems take on why, as well as what you can do about it. Show Notes: Can We Just Coexist? by Dennis Sanders Future Christian Podcast Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

The Eightfold Path is a core set of Zen Principles that can help you grow as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: What is the Eightfold Path? | Zen-Buddhism.net Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Self-differentiation has a certain "Zen-ness" to it that I think is worth exploring. Here is my take. Show Notes: Seeing People as They Are - by Kathleen Smith (substack.com) What do Zen Buddhists Believe? (zen-buddhism.net) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Leadership through self-differentiation is counter-intuitive. Here are five things that well-intentioned leaders do, that non-anxious leaders do not. Show Notes: 5 Well-Intentioned Behaviors That Can Hurt Your Team by Nihar Chhaya Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Self-management, self-awareness, social awareness and relationship management are all aspects of emotional intelligence that can help you be a non-anxious presence. Here’s how. Show Notes: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Emotional Intelligence Toolkit Quick Stress Relief Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Emotional intelligence and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. This episode explains how it relates to family systems theory. Show Notes: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: AN OVERVIEW Dr. Manoranjan Tripathy Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Leading change inevitably involves dealing with resistance. Non-anxious leaders create healthy emotional space for difficult conversations. Here’s how. Show Notes: Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps by Justin Michael Williams and Shelly Tygielski How We Ended Racism: Realizing a New Possibility in One Generation by Justin Mi…

Leading change inevitably involves dealing with resistance. Non-anxious leaders create healthy emotional space for difficult conversations. Here's how. Show Notes: Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps by Justin Michael Williams and Shelly Tygielski Find out more about the FREE Jenny Brown Book Study. How to be a non anxious pe…

Daniel Goleman is known for his Emotional Intelligence work. He described six leadership styles and when to use them. This episode interprets them from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: Leadership That Gets Results by Daniel Goleman 6 Common Leadership Styles — and How to Decide Which to Use When by Rebecca Knight Find out more about the FR…

The polarized presidential election is a major source of anxiety this year. Here's how you can buck the trend. Show Notes: How to survive another Trump-Biden election by Amanda Ripley Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Non-anxious leaders know how to take a healthy stand with those who make them anxious. Understanding non-violent communication can help. Show Notes: Cup of Empathy - Marianne van Dijk Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Emotional intelligence and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. Here are six ways EQ can help you be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: 6 Super Effective Ways to Show Your Emotional Intelligence at Work by Marcel Schwantes Episode 122: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2) Episode 123: How Emotional Intelli…

Learning to self-differentiate in anxious situations doesn't come naturally. Understanding the science of performing under pressure can help. Show Notes: Thinking About the Consequences in the Moment of Decision from Admired Leadership Field Notes The science of performing under pressure with Sian Beilock from the Re-Thinking Podcast with Adam Gran…

When we diagnose others, we avoid taking responsibility for self. Here's what that looks like and how we can do things better. Show Notes: Here's What Happens When We Stop Diagnosing Each Other by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.…

Many leaders who want to make an impact are people pleasers. Yet, this leads to over commitment and overwhelm. Here's how to stop. Show Notes: Cup of Empathy - Marianne van Dijk Podcast Episode 230: How to Say "No" as a Non-Anxious Presence Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email ne…

Non-anxious leaders have a confidence that is based in knowing their goals and values, as well as embracing humility, curiousity and courage. This is both attractive and influential. Here’s how it works. Show Notes: 5 habits of confident people by Stephanie Vozza Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Tw…

Complaining is not helpful to you or those you lead. Here's how to stop. Show Notes: The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances by Arthur C. Brooks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

This episode explores why parents are so annoying to their children from a family systems standpoint. Understanding how to do things differently will make you a better parent and leader. Show Notes: What makes parents so annoying, even to their middle-aged children? by Carolyn Hax Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscrib…

Patrick Lencioni's book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, helps you understand what makes for ineffective and effective teams. This episode tells you what you can do about it. Show Notes: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

We use psychological avoidance to manage anxiety, yet it actually makes things worse. Here's how to recognize it and address it. Show Notes: Avoidance, not anxiety, may be sabotaging your life by Luana Marques Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Taking responsibility for self means not making assumptions about others are thinking. Here's what that looks like and how to do things differently. Show Notes: How Anxiety Distorts Your To-Do List by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Self-differentiation is complicated. My own experience with my mother illustrates this. Show Notes: Hiroshima survivor tells her story as G7 world leaders meet in the Japanese city - CBS News

Knowing the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, as well as the principles of leadership through self-differentiation makes all the difference. Show Notes: ⁠A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix⁠ by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠⁠T…

Edwin Friedman's last book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, challenges us to lead differently. Here's how. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions. I AM a fan of getting better each year. Here's why and what has helped me. Show Notes: Get a FREE copy of One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks. Get information and register for the FREE Friedman's Failure of Nerve Book Study. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Su…

Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning go hand in hand. Here's what that looks like, as well as how you can find the sweet spot that creates healthy emotional space. Show Notes: Find out about Friedman's Failure of Nerve, a free course for non-anxious leaders. There will be no episode on Christmas Day. The next episode will drop on January 1, 2024. R…

Leadership and social norms are the two most important factors in organizational culture. Here's what you can do to improve yours. Show Notes: How to Fix a Toxic Culture (mit.edu) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing. Knowing when it is or isn't can help you better self-differentiate. Show Notes: About Guilt - Emotional Intelligence for Life (ei-forlife.com) by Miriam Bross Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Seventy-six percent of people nearing the end of their lives say their biggest regret was living their lives according to other people and their expectations. This is surrounding togetherness pressure. Here’s what you can do about it. Show Notes: My apologies, as there are two spots in the episode where one channel drops out briefly. The experience…

Self-differentiation doesn’t happen automatically. It’s even harder during the holidays when surrounding togetherness pressure can be high. This episode covers a four-step process that can help you remain a non-anxious presence when you express what you believe, feel, want and need. Show Notes: Alison Cook, Ph.D. Read the Full Transcript on The Non…

You can't make another person responsible. If you're trying, you're likely doing it wrong. Here's why and how you can do better. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

The family systems concept of symmetry can help you observe and even predict patterns of functioning in a relationship system. It can also point toward where to find answers about system anxiety. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.…

Relationship systems get stuck when surrounding togetherness pressure makes it difficult for people to disagree. Here's what that looks like and how non-anxious leaders can create a culture of healthy disagreement. Show Notes: Emotionally Intelligent People Use a Brilliant 2-Word Phrase to Speak Up and Get Results by Justin Bariso Solomon Asch Conf…

What do you do when you respond to another in ways that are hurtful? This episode shows that you can not only repair the relationship, you can make it better. Show Notes: Becky Kennedy: The single most important parenting strategy | TED Talk Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Self-differentiation means that you are able to manage your own anxiety without involving others. This episode unpacks what this does (and doesn't) look like. Show Notes: Being the Captain of Your Own Ship by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Nobody lives in a vacuum. Surrounding togetherness pressure influences people in both negative and positive ways. Here’s how you, as a leader, can use it to make things better. Show Notes: The Lazy Way To An Awesome Life by Eric Barker Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.…

Leadership through self-differentiation is counterintuitive. Here are five evidence-based reasons why it’s effective. Show Notes: 5 insights from behavioral science that can make you better at influencing others from Fast Company Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my w…

A paradox in leadership is that we think we can control more than we actually can. This leads to micromanaging, which is more damaging than helpful. This episode shows how leadership through self-differentiation is different and more effective. Show Notes: How to Solve the Leadership Paradox | Inc.com by David Finkel Read the Full Transcript on The…

The functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. Show Notes: Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking…

The functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. Show Notes: Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking…