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Reclaiming the Garden

April Little and Anna Dawahare

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Two queer Christian women exploring the space between belief and doubt, deconstruction and reconstruction, and the mysteries of faith that are ours just as much as the Christians who have gone before us—even the ones who say that our queerness is incompatible with Christianity. Regardless of your beliefs (or lack thereof), you’re welcome in this conversation about the religious backgrounds people came from, and how those experiences (and changes in belief) impact the life they live now.
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In this episode, we have a conversation with theologian, podcaster, YouTuber, and King of #Exvangelical Twitter, Mason Mennenga!! Mason shares about listening to VeggieTales CDs and other typical evangelical kid/teen experiences (conferences, youth group, all the ccm!) he had as the Good Christian Boy. In college, he started researching what the Bi…
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In this episode (despite some technical difficulties on April’s end) we have a conversation with the Co-Executive Director of Operations for Transmission Ministry Collective, Dr. Miche van Essen! Miche shares about her faith journey of growing up Jewish and how she ended up meeting Jesus and became a pastor in an evangelical church. As she was comi…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Myles Markham, a queer and transgender advocate who currently works for Trans Lifeline and serves on the board of directors for Transmission Ministry Collective! Myles shares his journey of growing up in the deep South and how he has expanded his faith over time. We get into some nerdy theological conver…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with one of the principal actresses in the Broadway musical How to Dance in Ohio, Ashley Wool! She also happens to be an autistic progressive Christian and a theology nerd, so of course us neurodivergent theater nerds had to invite her to the pod. Ashley shares about becoming a Christian as a young adult and …
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Note: the dolphin noises that come up in a section of this episode are to take out some identifying information about April’s old church that she doesn’t want made public In this episode, we have a conversation with Tim Whitaker, founder of the non-profit The New Evangelicals, an inclusive, Jesus-centered community that holds space for those margin…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with LGBTQ+ Mindset Coach and host of the Queer Consciousness Podcast, Kit Sargent! They reflect on their experience of this year’s QCF Conference and talk about their “fundie lite” upbringing (they had a True Love Waits Ring!). We discuss the sexualization of prepubescent girls’ bodies and all the things tha…
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Note: there is discussion of child abuse in this episode In this episode, we have a conversation with our friend Starchild, a queer autistic somatic psychotherapist, poet, musician, mystic, and ex-pastor. Starchild talks about their Southern Baptist upbringing, their journey from autistic Wonder Church Boy to renegade mystic to inclusive orthodox M…
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In this episode, we reflect upon what’s happened in the faith/religion/spirituality and deconstruction world in 2023 with our dear friends Briana and Artie (who, along with us, make up the QCF Squad group chat). We talk about the Asbury Revival, the Pope’s recent “LGBTQ Blessing” statement, the Ruby Franke case, and the queer Christian music wins (…
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In this episode, we talk about three conspiracy theories that are unfortunately very popular in many Christian communities: The “War on Christmas,” Zionism, and QAnon. While poking fun at the ridiculous nature of these beliefs that are not rooted in reality (Taylor Swift being named TIME person of the year is part of a 2024 election scheme, apparen…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, author, speaker and LGBTQ+ advocate Jennifer Knapp! Jennifer shares her faith journey, her career in the contemporary Christian music industry, and the burnout that led to her leaving it. She also talks about her coming out journey and the ways she has advocated for LG…
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A note about this episode's content: we discuss disordered eating and body image issues, if you're not in a good place to listen, take care of yourself! During a month where many of us host feasts (that are rooted in a history of colonization), we’re talking about theologies of food, and food ethics. Anna and April share stories of struggling with …
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In this episode, we have a conversation with YouTubers (and damn good researchers on fundamentalist Christianity) the Reverend Jen and King James of Fundie Fridays! Jen and James share how they grew up non-religious but adjacent (literally and figuratively) to religion in their conservative hometowns in Missouri. Anna and April share our own storie…
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In this episode, April and Anna discuss our experiences of how disability and neurodivergence were viewed in the churches we grew up in and how those views changed as we came to realize our own neurodivergence and grapple with ableist theologies. April was planning on discussing more of her realization that she is autistic but her frazzled brain ju…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with therapist, podcaster, author, and theologian Matthias Roberts! He shares his faith journey of being raised in a non-affirming church, then going to Side B (queer-folks-are-called-to-celibacy) theology as he came to terms with being gay, to realizing that LGBTQ+ Christians existed and that he could have a…
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In this episode, we get down and dirty and nerdy with Paul’s long Epistle (letter) to the Romans (more specifically, the early Christian community there). This text has been used to justify bigotry towards LGBTQ+ people and the awful doctrine of penal substitutionary atonement, and to manipulate people into converting, but it also has empowering pa…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with our friend and political scientist Chalen Aleong! Chalen shares his faith journey and feeling like he was “too religious for queer people and too queer for religious people” and how he got involved with Q Christian Fellowship. We also discuss the Barbie movie and the weird conservative response to it, an…
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In this episode, we discuss our first impressions of the apocrypha–both the texts that come from the Greek Old Testament that some Christians hold as canon Scripture (such as Sirach, Judith, or 1 Maccabees) and the early Christian texts that did not get canonized in the New Testament (such as several strange Infancy Gospels, the Gospel of Mary Magd…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with queer, autistic, leftist Christian pastor Chloe Specht! She shares about growing up as a pastor’s kid in the holiness/Church of God movement, pursuing ordination in that tradition (which technically ordains women but not really in practice) and wanting to bring about change, and then realizing it wasn’t …
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In this episode, we discuss a topic that April wrote a 15 page paper about over her spring term: what is the human being fully alive, in light of God/the Divine? We explore what it means to be humans made in the image of God, what it means to bring the fullness of ourselves to God and one another and live authentically, and how the sharing of our s…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Ugandan humanitarian, educator and human rights defender Samson Turinawe! He shares his experience of becoming a Pentecostal preacher and then being excommunicated after he started preaching about accepting LGBTQ+ people and he shares his experience of realizing he is gay. He discusses the dire state of …
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In this episode, we discuss many examples of LGBTQ+ folks in religious history, from gay nuns to a non-binary Quaker in the 1800s to the deeply prayerful Marsha P. Johnson, and all kinds of other queer saints. April also brings up some of her favorite LGBTQ+ Christian scholars such as Marcella Althaus-Reid and Patrick Cheng. We encourage folks to l…
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In this episode (our 50th!!!), we have a conversation with Karen Huckaby, co-founder of The Reclaim Therapy Collective, a group of therapists specializing in helping folks heal from adverse religious experiences and spiritual trauma. Karen shares about her faith background and her intense experiences of evangelizing to people on the beach, her jour…
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In this episode, we have a more casual (but still passionate) discussion about current events, which inevitably was centered on the legislative and cultural attack on trans and gender-expansive people in the United States and the conservative moral panic over “wokeness.” We also discuss our disappointment with Megan Phelps-Roper’s podcast that pain…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with freelance writer, film producer and playwright Peter Fenton! Peter talks about his experiences as a gay man in the evangelical church, including his time as a Christian camp counselor, and how he came to terms with accepting himself and how he has explored his evolving faith through his writing. We are s…
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In this episode, we get down and dirty and nerdy with Paul’s letter to Philemon, his shortest letter in the New Testament. We discuss the historical background and the gaps that the letter doesn’t tell us (why do people assume Philemon’s slave Onesimus was the one in the wrong?). We also rant about how Paul could have been clearer in his words that…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with our dear friend, bookstagrammer and aspiring author Briana Michelle Meyer!!! Briana talks to us about her upbringing at a Christian school, her love of literature and how that has impacted her faith, and her life as a teacher in South Korea. We'll be cheering her on as she goes to grad school in London i…
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Just in time for the release of Greg Laurie’s vanity film that erases Lonnie Frisbee’s queer identity (Jesus Revolution), we’re talking about films with religious (mostly Christian) themes! We discuss the God’s Not Dead and Left Behind movies, the Jesus Camp documentary, and films that explore religion in more nuanced ways, like Boy Erased, Philome…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with worship pastor and queer Christian podcaster Jess Grace Garcia at the 2023 Q Christian Fellowship Conference! Jess talks about their faith journey and with it their evolving relationship with worship music. Likewise, we also dive into Jess’ journeys with gender and sexuality and how it has impacted their…
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Hello everyone, A traditional Dhow cruise is a must-do on every vacation to Dubai. A boat cruise in Dubai is a fantastic way to spend the day or end the evening. Dubai is an unusual and stunning international centre of activity. https://tarvelersworld.blogspot.com/2022/12/desert-tours-in-dubai-best-travel.html https://dubaiexcursions.wordpress.com/…
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In this episode, April and Anna share our coming out stories (which are still always unfolding, never one and done). From our first crushes and “oh my God, how did you not know” moments, to the times we first spoke aloud that we might be queer, to openly living our joyfully queer lives, we talk about our journey towards accepting ourselves and havi…
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In this episode, Anna and April recount our experiences at the Q Christian Fellowship Conference. We got to meet (and hug!) so many dear friends in-person for the first time, hear talks from folks we admire, goof around in DC, hit up gay bars, and of course do a live podcast show! It was so much fun (even when we felt exhausted at times) and we can…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with author and religious studies scholar/professor Brad Onishi (who also is a co-host of the Straight White American Jesus podcast)! Brad talks about his upbringing in evangelical spaces in California, his journey from being a youth pastor to deconstructing to becoming a scholar on white Christian Nationalis…
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We’re back with our podcast pals Jordyn and Sara for another year-in-review! We talk about Tish Harrison Warren’s terrible not-Anglican New York Times takes, God is Grey’s problematic treatment of Jo Luehmann that left a bad taste in our mouths, the bureaucratic nightmare that is the United Methodist Church split, the overturning of Roe v. Wade, th…
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In this episode, Anna and April draw from our respective academic disciplines (social work and theology) and Sara Miles’ memoir Take This Bread to discuss strategies for how to sustain ourselves in the work of healing and justice, including neurodivergent-friendly alternatives to meditation. Sara Miles’ connection to bodily spiritual experience, he…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Baptist pastor Dana and ordained Hindu Fred, who are happily married. They share their beautiful story of finding each other through a dating app and connecting over a shared love of spirituality despite their differing beliefs. They discuss their life together and how they take part in each others’ spir…
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In this episode, we, along with our friends Celia and Colleen from Assemblies of Pop Podcast, share our memories of Christian music and the culture created around it (music festivals, etc): we talk about TobyMac, Family Force 5, DC Talk, Dara Maclean, the big worship bands like Hillsong and Bethel, and other artists of various genres that have been…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with mystical theologian and author of Bad Theology Kills, Kevin Garcia! Kevin shares their spiritual journey from being in ex-gay ministry to finding wholeness in queer identity and finding God in their body, in other people, and in practices such as yoga. We get into some pretty deep theological discussions…
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In honor of this spooky month, this episode is all about what scares evangelical Christians to death (but we forgot to even really talk much about Halloween–oops!). From cuss words to the “devil’s lettuce” to feminist theory to children’s media not being superheteronormative (Baby Bear from Sesame Street can’t have a doll, he’s a boy!!!), we discus…
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Now that we’ve been doing this podcast for a year and a half (!), we figured it was time for a re-introduction. Anna and April talk about what we do on this podcast–we break down the bad theology we learned in our evangelical adolescences, and share our journeys of learning new ways to look at biblical texts, sexual ethics, systems of power, and mo…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Keri Seymour, a multi-hyphenate human who currently lives in London who acted as Anna’s coming out sounding board. Keri tells the story of her difficult Catholic adolescence and her time spent in a convent (where yes, she did indeed kiss a nun), and she talks about the questions she had about Jesus and G…
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Although our modern understanding of sexuality and gender identity and the terms we use to describe the spectrum of those identities are very different than the understanding and language used during “Bible times” (across several centuries, cultures, and languages), we can still look at certain relationships and characters in the Bible and see how …
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In this episode, we have a conversation with author and liberation theologian Damon Garcia, whose book, The God Who Riots: Taking Back the Radical Jesus, releases today, August 23rd; links to purchase available below/on his social media pages! We chat with Damon about his spiritual journey of growing up conservative evangelical and discovering that…
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In this episode, we break down what we were taught about money, the economy, and socioeconomic status in the churches we grew up in. Even if we were not explicitly taught the “prosperity gospel” à la televangelists (that if you be the best Christian you can be and donate a lot of money to the church, God will make you rich, and poor people are “jus…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with ex-Mormon (or “exmo”) YouTubers Jordan and McKay! They share their journey of growing up in the Mormon/LDS church and the things that caused them to doubt until their “shelves” of faith broke and they decided to leave (the disturbing history of Joseph Smith marrying women as young as 14, the practices an…
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In this episode, we get down and dirty and nerdy with the ancient lawbook of Leviticus. We break down the arbitrary categories we were given to interpret the laws of the Hebrew Bible (the moral law vs. the ceremonial law; even if this concept was applied, the rule prohibiting mixed fabrics is in a section of mostly “moral laws”), and we discuss Lev…
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In this episode, we have a conversation with Richie X, an autistic, queer and non-binary writer/commentator and host of two podcasts, Surviving Fundamentalism and Underdogs on Top! They share their winding faith journey from being raised Muslim to finding Black Baptist churches and becoming a young preacher, to finding Pentecostalism, to joining a …
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In celebration of the Tony’s (which at time of release was this past Sunday), Anna and I discuss several musicals that make us think about theology and/or LGBTQ+ identity (and we include the perspectives of a few of our friends, too!). We of course start with musicals that take their stories from the Bible (Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell and Prin…
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Due to some scheduling conflicts and April and Anna having a lot going on in late May, our May guest interview has been moved to June. But today we’re dropping a minisode with some cool life updates! Anna talks about her experience with grad school (MA in Social Work) so far, her classes and internship; April talks about her belated graduation (whi…
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Content warning: depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. Please take care of yourself, we love y’all. This episode is all about mental health (and we didn’t even realize May is Mental Health Awareness Month when we recorded it!). We discuss how the churches we grew up in did not equip us to deal with our depression and anxiety in a healthy way (“ju…
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In this episode, we take on a topic so big (heaven, hell, the final destiny of creation), we had to bring in the perspectives of our friends from Ravel Podcast–Emily Rettinghouse, Josh Lieuallen, and Stephen Henning. We break down what we were taught about the afterlife (kind of having amnesia in heaven about your friends and family who were in hel…
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