Check out a special bonus episode of Slow Train to Heck where I interview Mindy, the creator of The Divorced Virgin Project, about her experience growing up in purity culture and how leaving it motivated her to create this resource for others who are trying to figure out how to deal with the fallout of purity culture in their own lives. The Divorce…

Welcome to the finale of a podcast about people, sharing their stories of deconstruction and leaving behind toxic religious systems... so what happens next? I've got one more story for you. Podcast episode about Hegel's God: https://www.philosophizethis.org/podcast/hegels-god Slow Train To Heck - the Substack: https://slowtraintoheck.substack.com T…

In this final conversation on Slow Train To Heck, Matt and Mandy Ottaway share the story of their lives together: Growing up in evangelicalism, attending Moody Bible Institute, getting into youth ministry in their early 20s... eventually with Matt realizing the restrictive intellectual cage that his ministry position required and Mandy experiencing…

Matthew Burkholder joins the podcast to share his experience of growing up immersed in purity culture, starting all the way back as a kid in a Christian bookstore surrounded by the key texts of that ideology. We talk about the lasting damage that can be done by teaching children to hate the natural things that make them human, and the subsequent ro…

Olivia Grigg shares her experience of Christianity and the spiritual trauma that it caused her, and gives her take on religious trauma as a whole from her perspective as a social worker and counsellor focused on helping people navigate changing beliefs, deconstruction, and that religious trauma. She discusses how many church environments force us t…

Laurel talks about the link between dysfunctional families and dysfunctional fundamentalist churches, and how people in abusive situations who are desperate for love are reeled in by the promise of love from leaders who manipulate that desire for the purposes of control. She also shares her own story of growing up in an abusive environment and how …

This week I'm joined by Kevin Wilcox (see his previous appearance on the podcast in Episode 6) to talk about how you might be able to maintain or forge relationships "across the aisle" - is it possible for an evangelical and an exvangelical to be friends, and if so, how? What needs to be considered when entering into a relationship like that? What …

This week I had the pleasure of chatting with Jannah Rulfs, who grew up Pentecostal in Southwestern Ontario and has since left the church. Jannah has a lot of really insightful things to say about the anxiety and fear that Christianity generated in her as a young teenager, the challenges she has with some of what Christianity seems to require of yo…

Alexandra and John share their experiences growing up Christian and the fear-based narratives they lived within. Eventually, they entered the mission field, living in China for some time, and eventually worked for Christian nonprofits. What they saw in these arenas further confirmed what they had grown up experiencing of Christianity - the system i…

Cassy shares her story and talks about her mental illness and sexual assault, and processing these heavy things while also processing her faith deconstruction. Cassy is an incredibly strong person who has come through a lot of really hard things, and I hope her strength inspires you as much as it did me. Please take note of the content warnings bel…

The Slow Train is back, and with it comes David Hayward, a.k.a. the Naked Pastor. David is a former pastor who has since become an artist, creating amazing paintings and cartoons that challenge aspects of religious environments in ways that provoke conversations - in fact he's recently released a collection of cartoons called Flip it Like This whic…

Walter Schultz hops on the Slow Train to Heck to share his story of being required to attend church as a child, the confusion that caused him when presented with two wildly opposed worldviews between Sunday School and public school, and how his relationship with his mother was what ultimately helped him escape that world and leave it behind. Conten…

This week Marie Wall shares her story of joining, living in, and ultimately Escaping the Church of God fundamentalist Christian cult in Aylmer, Ontario. She shares her harrowing experience of being slowly worn down by the church until she joined, then being brainwashed to believe that there was no hope for her outside their walls. After a deep desc…

Jake Kroeker chats with us this week about his time at Trinity Bible Chapel, a fundamentalist evangelical church in the Waterloo Region of Ontario that has been increasingly positioning itself at the forefront of a growing Christian Nationalist movement among evangelical churches here in Canada. Jake talks about what motivates people who adhere to …

We rejoin Luke Williams this week as he shares the remainder of his story, detailing the changes in his life after he left Christianity. Luke covers a whole bunch of life experiences and viewpoints, including exploring polyamorous relationships and cannabis and other drugs; working with the homeless, and organizing conventions; inconsistencies in t…

Luke Williams joins the Slow Train to Heck to share his journey through and out of Christianity. Luke has lived through many different experiences in his life, and the message of suffering, and the expectation of suffering both now and in the future, was a strong one. However, Luke was able to move beyond that message and share his story with us no…

Andrew Benson is a freelance writer, entrepreneur, pastor, and hiking enthusiast, who has worked in ministry all over Canada. Andrew and I have a great chat in this episode about what deconstruction looks like as a pastor, what deconstruction means to him, how interacting with people of other beliefs and cultures has impacted the way he sees things…

Carly Butler is an indigenous woman who was born in the US, but now lives in British Columbia. Carly grew up in a Christian environment characterized by fear: Fear of government, fear of persecution, and most of all, the fear of the apocalypse. That fear drove her mother to take her to Canada to escape the coming tribulation, and things progressed …

Amanda joins us this week to talk about her exit from the church and how she never fit the mold the church wants her to. She also shares her experiences as a mom of autistic children, and the challenges of being part of a church community who expected her kids to act a certain way - and how her and her kids' experience of Christianity caused her to…

Rev. Sarah Heath, author, designer, pastor, life coach, and host of great podcasts like Revcovery, joins us on the Slow Train to Heck this week. Sarah grew up in Ontario working at Christian camp where she discovered her own innate leadership skills which would eventually translate to her being a great leader in church ministry. When she moved to t…

Zac Schraeder is a psychotherapist based in Toronto with a focus on helping folks process religious trauma - and particularly those of the LGBTQ2S+ community who grew up in the church, as they often receive so many deeply damaging messages from the religious communities of their childhood that have long-lasting effects. Zac joins the podcast this w…

This week Jax shares her story and asks the question "Who is Jax?" Growing up in a conservative Christian environment, and having her personality and everything deemed to be of the "self" suppressed and replaced by Christian dogma, Jax is now working through the process of figuring out who she is outside of that environment. She also talks about th…

Jeremiah Chapman shares his story of coming to accept his sexual orientation this week on the podcast, and details his experiences growing up in a Charismatic Christian community where his sexuality was unacceptable, and drastic measures were taken to try to suppress it. This led to some seriously traumatic experiences that shaped how Jeremiah grew…

This week, Angela Keeley joins us to chat about her experiences of growing up in small-town Ontario as a Catholic, and how she found freedom in exploring her spirituality on her own without the box the Church built around her. She also talks about discovering her own privilege growing up in that environment as a white, cis-presenting woman despite …

Jeremiah Pacey joins the podcast to talk about his experience growing up in evangelicalism, going through seminary, and eventually becoming an evangelical pastor. Today, he has left that environment, is fully LGBTQ2S+ affirming, and now leads a "love directed learning community" called The Banquet in Brantford, Ontario - but on his path to get ther…

Sarah Lussier joins the podcast to share her story of growing up as a missionary kid and how her experiences in missions impacted her deconstruction and eventual departure from Christianity, and how hard it was to come to the realization that the life she was living was a myth. She also digs into her thoughts on how and why people have mystical exp…

Rebecca Price joins us this week to talk about her deconstruction story - growing up in the church and eventually being the victim of an abusive relationship, which resulted in her questioning what she believed about God and what the church had taught her about who God was. Rebecca explains through her own experiences how church teaching about "the…

This week, Leslie Skolly shares her deconstruction story, which was impacted by her time at Liberty University. She endured a number of painful things there which were reinforced and perpetuated by the evangelical and purity culture infusing that community. Leslie' story is so important for all of us to hear and I'm honoured to be given the opportu…

Natalie Van Osch joins the Slow Train to Heck to tell her story of growing up as a trans woman in a rural Catholic community in Ontario where her whole life was wrapped up in the Church, and her journey out of that environment and finding the freedom to explore her own identity. Content Warnings: transphobia, LGBTQ2S+ discrimination, depression, su…

It's the first Slow Train to Heck of spring! In the spring spirit of new life and growth, we're talking with Fiona Stevenson this week about her own growth through her journey with spirituality. Seasonal metaphors aside, Fiona has a great story detailing the twists and turns of her path through Christianity - growing up as an atheist, converting to…

Join TJ and I as we sit down and talk through his own deconstruction of the concepts of church community, cliques, and church politics - and how difficult it can be in church environments to create truly deep connections. Content warning: depressionBy Josiah Mahon

This week it's our first couple interview! I chat with Courtney & Ben about their stories - Courtney is an ex-fundamentalist Christian who has deconstructed her faith and along with that, the monogamous relationship model that is often ingrained into that culture. Ben immigrated to Canada from China and is himself deconstructing his experience of t…

This week, Ray shares her story of exiting fundamentalist Christianity and learning to accept herself as a human. We talk about the constant striving for perfection that evangelicalism encourages, the importance of learning to have compassion for our younger, fundamentalist selves, and moving beyond our past rejection of our own "flesh" and embraci…

This week I sit down with Deb Walters, a spiritual director and Enneagram facilitator, and chat about her path out of a narrow and isolating Christianity and into a more loving and open Christianity. Among other things, we discuss the pull of Christian supremacy, the dangers of certainty, parenting through deconstruction and giving kids space to fo…

We're back for 2022, and we're kicking it off with a really great story from Kelsey Garcia, an advanced care paramedic. She shares her journey from a conservative evangelical Christian working at Christian camps, to her work on the front lines of health care witnessing the reality of death and discovering how often, reality doesn't exactly line up …

Join Taylor and I as she details her experiences as a Christian missionary and unpacks the ethical issues that are rampant in that arena. We dig into the inherent Western white Christian supremacist side of missions, the inherent attitude of colonization that's wrapped up in it, the manipulative and abusive side of it, and how when women raise red …

On this episode, Laura Drapeau shares her story of growing up in Western Canada as an evangelical Christian, and having her worldview altered as she encountered other cultures, started asking questions, and discovered her own sexuality as she met her wife in Bible College. She tells such an impactful story of how her view of the LGTBQ2S+ community …

This week my wife Hannah steps up to the mic and shares her own story of doubt and deconstruction, how my own deconstruction impacted her, and how we make a marriage work in the middle of huge changes in beliefs. We also share some advice (for whatever our advice is worth) to couples experiencing similar belief changes.…

This week I sit down with my friend Kevin Wilcox, a lawyer and evangelical Christian. Instead of the usual deconstruction conversation, we discuss concerns with the direction evangelicalism is headed in Canada, including comparing and contrasting Canadian evangelicalism with its counterpart in the United States. We also talk about the increasing li…

Join Kristin Bennett and I as we chat about her upbringing in an evangelical doomsday cult, and her path out. It's a jam-packed episode - we talk about the process of recognizing that what you grew up in was a cult, rapture anxiety, how Christian supremacy is taught to children, sexual repression, purity culture and rape culture, marriage and divor…

On this episode I talk with my friend Marty Penner about his conservative Mexican Mennonite upbringing and transitioning from that to Satanism. We also discuss dealing with depression, drumming in a Christian metal band while also deconstructing religion, experiencing unconditional love, how he ended up landing at The Meeting House, and where his f…

Nathan and I discuss his own changing beliefs over time and how to interact with those who use their beliefs to damage others. We also discuss Brian McLaren, Rob Bell, disrupting the power structures and the hidden nature of toxic Christianity in Canada, and Nathan's experiences planting and pastoring a church with the Free Methodists in Sarnia, On…

Join me and my friend Emma Morrison as we talk about Calvinism, purity culture, church camp, consent, mental illness, Paulsplaining, and the concept of truth. The book Emma references is Unprotected Texts: The Bible's Surprising Contradictions about Sex and Desire, by Jennifer Wright Knust: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/9749712-unprotected…

It's the first real episode of Slow Train to Heck! Listen in as I talk with my friend Devon Cornelius about systems of power, Christian workplaces, seminary, issues inherent to religious communities, and what a better way to be in community might look like.By Josiah Mahon

Welcome to the Slow Train to Heck, a podcast about personal stories of deconstruction and toxic authoritarian religious systems in Canada. This episode, Josiah talks about what this podcast is, what this podcast isn't, and shares his own deconstruction story. New episodes release every other Wednesday! Other podcasts and creators referenced (not af…