The Story of a Heartbeat
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Dear Axopatomsa Kobsarka-Eråsis tal Niksubvya, Those were the pages of my journals that described how I rose to power. I was so young in 1865, and I hardly knew any of the things that I take for granted now. In 1869, I moved onto my next journal and censored as much as possible. It was a balance because my daughter would need to see enough to guess…
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Public executions rarely happen in Tvesh?. Every few years, the blacksmiths on Måra Street who keep the sacred smithing temple receive word from the palace that they must sharpen the guillotine. They scrape rust from its steel frame and assemble the killing machine deep inside the Reclaimed Zone. Here, the sun sizzles on the pavement and the sky ne…
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Thousands of years before the skyscrapers rose on Kaiatha Sound or the holographic gardens clustered along the edges of the great salt marshes, a child watched ler father and mother die at the hands of the Erebi tribe through cracks in a woven grain basket. As the parents’ blood spattered across the floor — as le heard the other villagers wail in t…
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The Reclaimed Zone is repulsive, and Liga took me there today because I wanted to see Sehutañi. The Reclaimed Zone can never forget what happened to it. Almost nothing will grow above the floodplain because the dirt is absolutely barren. Even the river tried to cover it up by winding over most of it after Old Tvesh? fell thousands of years ago. No …
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Today was the last day of the trial, and we only just saw Liga’s testimony. Liga dressed the most formally out of all who gave testimonies, a in a yellow men’s haukaptu with puffed fabric at the elbows. The embroidery, predominantly gray and amber, reminded me of a harvest I saw in Iturja when I was still a child. It looked altogether too warm, but…
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The murder trial started today. There is no sign of it stopping, actually. My descendants will find that most murder trials in the 1860s take under a day to decide. This is fast on record to be the longest one in the New Tveshi State. The courts drafted a lawyer for the assassins because no lawyer in Tvesh? would take the case. They flew in an Itur…
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Karatau visited me and brought the strange cream. Liga apparently doesn’t know. We had a longer discussion about my role during the trial and whether I would be called in. The testimony recording will take at least an hour, and Karatau thinks that I can plead a health exemption. The Kohjenya have all of the relevant information, le said, with the e…
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41 Poråkol 1865 Regent Thassañi met with me again, and I learned so much from lim (and ler staff) about the way we will market my appointment to the press: The assassination has provided them with the opportunity to add more Narahji representation. This is important because the Daybreak Movement has started recruiting from non-Shiji groups. That’s …
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37 Poråkol 1865 The hospital staff released me to my apartment. The morning dawned clear, and I have access to writing materials. Kati has gone to stay with a friend, and I have my room back. Once my parents left for the satellite home, I called Suka and asked lim to come with Liga. I have the bug, and the data won’t sync to my computer. I need to …
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I remember almost nothing from the next five days. I know that I went into surgery, and I know that I was in pain. In half-awake moments when the drugs wore off, I had hallucinations of Kelis and those things that one sees on the edge of death that most of the living — that I — don’t understand. Kelis and ler restless-dead companions came to my bed…
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The Great Road smelled like incense, and enormous clouds of it blew in the wind. We walked on thrown kau grain. The crowd showered us with half-frozen flower petals. None of them quite struck Fadehin Akaiañi or me. Being struck with the flower petals is considered lucky. The Great Road bisects a street that is Karudesa Street on the left and Nikara…
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The Sabaji use a paste called månukha that they make from a mix of opakha, ash, and the nopå nut’s milk. Only unmarried women and jomela wear it to the processions, including women who have never had a spouse and those who are still in their fertile years, but who have left a spouse behind. Unmarried Sabaji women wear it with headdresses, and jomel…
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Entry 42: 27 Poråkol 1865, part 2: An Addendum
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Time is staggered and disjointed. The way I write dramas is the way most of us live our lives. I think that is why they have succeeded so much: I am splicing moments together to form a story. Alone, the pieces of our lives don’t make a plot with a beginning, middle, and end. Together, they do. — Akah Gysabala, Memoirs We waited outside for a quarte…
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Kelta and I slept on my bed like siblings. I surged awake in the middle of the night with nausea and went into the bathroom to vomit. The cut from my promise to Karatau throbbed in time with my heartbeat, and I felt so sweaty that I wondered if I had gotten food poisoning. I went to bed about forty minutes later and had restless dreams about a thre…
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It took skill to drug Sehutañi’s drink without any experience. I took advantage of the neural array to make myself ruthless. I wanted to be glittering and carnivorous. The ?barbok illusion cascading around me turned my heart into iron. I ate too much because I could not stop being hungry. Nothing but glistening raw seafood tasted good. The experien…
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Today, Kati and I encountered Karatau Meiyenesi on the way out of the apartment building. The sun had just risen, and we wanted to be at the satellite home while Gyetsuk was still there. Kati slammed the glass door shut in front of lim and scowled. The jomela stood on the other side and did not move to open the door or even to knock. I kept my eyes…
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I feel much less confident today, and this is why: I decided that I needed to go back to the Galasu Knowledge Foundation, so I made an appointment with Akah Deohårañi. While Liga did connect us, I don’t know anyone else whom I can trust. I am beside myself with worry. I had the name of Aneti’s sister — the intimate name, not the formal one. It is K…
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Today, I don’t have much to write. Kati and I spent breakfast at my family’s satellite home. Aneti and I went to the Necropolis again to make offerings to ler sister — against the grain of any religious calendar. I have a message from Kitesrati on my comm band that must be answered. It’s flirtatious — “Hello, cutie. I want to see your worried face,…
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Today, Aneti and I took a walk beneath the hanging plants at one edge of Senatorial Square. We kissed. I tried to think about Kitesrati. Aneti rested ler hand in the small of my back and murmured something that I failed to catch. Le pushed me away. I chipped caked henna from ler arms and licked my lips. The hanging vines tickled our cheeks as a bre…
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Before work this morning, I sent Liga a reminder message about the photographs. I tagged all of the ones I took of Aneti with Liga’s name. This is a risk considering my ongoing fight with Liga. Hopefully, less biased minds within the Kohjenya will prevail and I will have the support from them to complete this mission the way it must be done. Suka i…
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Aneti had breakfast at home with ler family. Le left early and paused at the steps of ler family home, cupping ler hand under ler mouth while le ate the last bites of a filled meat pastry. The way the sunlight hit lim reminded me of a few lines of a poem I read last year by Akah Laioñi Karodan?: This is the first river in the cosmos, seeing you lyi…
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True beauty lies in impermanence. Reeds die to create masterpieces, festival baskets, and colored mats. Insects singing today will surely die tomorrow, crushed mercilessly by a woman’s slow-moving pestle to extract the deep dyes. Mortality makes you beautiful, Kakedi, whose name means sweet-singing birds and lush meadow-flowers, able hands and liba…
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Today, I thought about how to gain access to Aneti’s room while I stood in line to buy traditional paper. I spent 10 lh. on this notebook. It has 360 pages, and it (surprisingly) lies flat. The Sabaji use base twelve, so this was one of those situations where I had to buy a bigger notebook than I wanted because I refuse to buy things in units of th…
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You decided to tell me everything. Thank you, even if this conversation went poorly. We seem to have butted heads. However, you must apologize. I don’t blame you, necessarily. You wanted to protect Suka. You thought you needed to protect lim from me, and that is the part that I hate. When you called me, the space behind you had been repurposed into…
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Aneti and I visited the Necropolis today, where ler sister lies in a small urn neatly shrouded by the ashes of others. The Necropolis of Galasu, which the Taritit did not target during either bombardment, contains row after row of small streets and walkways that wind together, labyrinthine, with no map to put yourself through — just memory. The Shi…
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I went to bed early last night and awoke before sunrise, so I had time to sit down with your package. Last night left me so exhausted. I cried into a pillow. What happens if we don’t learn who this person is until after le is assassinated? What happens if the bottleneck is a trap for my family and I am arrested due to some unknown law? Thank you fo…
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The Kohjenakri associated with my cousin, Deisurås, came to my door this morning with a slim package. The day hadn’t yet slipped into 14 Poråkol, and I stood on the balcony watching birds dive at prey in the small park between this apartment unit and the one beside it. Ler presence diverted the path of an indigo-crested bird with six pebbly wings, …
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You called me just before work while I was helping Kati find ler Skyrail pass. When my wall rang, I told lim to go ahead with mine, and I ran to my room. My heart beat fast when I saw that black panel with your nonexistent identifier. Kati shut the door to our apartment. I don’t think that you slept, Liga. Your hair fell stiffly around your face in…
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Liga, will you call me? Aneti asked me if I ate dinner last night at the docks. I told lim that I went out with family and friends. Le already knows about the family satellite home, so I showed lim some of the photos I took of Gyetsuk and ler fiancé. Aneti accepted the account, but I saw something in ler eyes. Perhaps you were right. I should not h…
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Yes, Liga, I did go to the docks, and I employed an awkward strategy to ensure that I could. I compared the layout you sent me with maps. Then, I messaged Gyetsuk and told Kati that we would meet lim at a restaurant on the second floor of a building that almost directly overlooks the place of interest. The restaurant serves Mãkyei food, and none of…
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JIKUV? IS FIRMLY COMMITTED AND I FOUND A SECOND. COPY INFO AND MEET US AT EAST PIER DOCKS 11B AT 12H. Aneti, staying awake all night in ler room painting quotations on ler walls — or going over old-fashioned Daybreak documents — or half-asleep, or otherwise-conspiring — chose the wrong recipient for this message on ler communication band. It came i…
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Thank you for the messages you sent earlier, Liga. I am happy that you have not been ignoring me on purpose. “This is not the only murder plot, and the others are now more time-sensitive,” did not completely convince me. The documents that you sent along with it did. I understand what you mean now. As a warning, you need to give me more things like…
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I have more to report about Aneti, and I apologize for missing your call. Today, Aneti came into work and rushed past the front desk. Le took the stairs up to the rooftop garden, and I watched from the security cameras with Larañi. In a secluded part of the garden, le wedged a small pocket mirror into a space between two vases. Larañi clicked ler t…
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Sehuta, eğ søngabu søi! Seğ nigavøḥaiḥa gavøsu tagamnil lejeḥ helai Kuta fas medtė ødya. Sø topo eğil. Sehuta, I need you! We can’t try it in the first decad of the month because Kuta has backed out. Come meet me. Kuta must be a person. Rain makes no sense in the sentence otherwise. Liga, do you know someone named Kuta, perhaps with a name suffix, …
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This afternoon, Aneti and I went to one of the parks immediately after work. We sat in the shade of a blossom-raining tree, and the warm summer breeze played with the fabric of our light hepteri vests. We took the Skyrail to my apartment, where Kati stood over the stove stirring noodles for a sasahi-based sauce. I wanted to go to Lantern Park for o…
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[ Author’s note: This additional text appeared in the audio version. Hello, this is Kaye! I have a few quick updates before this week’s chapter. Also, I’m recording this before sunset, so you may hear the birds in a nest outside. Epiphany includes a heavy use of constructed languages. And guess what! George from the Conlangery podcast interviewed m…
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The Galasu Knowledge Foundation is more impressive than the library in Menarka, but Galasu was not completely burned to the ground during the Taritit Invasion. The thing that struck me most when I walked in today was the size of the building and the thousands of well-lit reading pods inside, acoustically isolated and stacked one on top of the other…
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I am writing these notes, which I am certain that you will dispute, because I don’t want to replay the video conversation multiple times. That is all. If you want my perspective, you can have it here; if not, please skip this entry entirely because you know what you experienced, Liga, and you know what I want. Let’s start at the beginning. The indi…
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Today started and ended like a cyclone. Sometimes, I feel like everything in my skull has been compressed like a springing ball, and it was just released. My thoughts are a haze in my head, racing this way and that. I want to make something in the kitchen, to check the kipana fruit’s freshness in the refrigerator, to pace back and forth over whethe…
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Aneti and I went to ler home, and we had sex. I need to remember the way there again, so here are the directions: From the Progressive Movement’s office, walk outside, turning left. It takes fifteen minutes to reach the Blossom Sun Skyrail Terminal, one of the linking places between the Sky and Berry Lines (just a note — one of the lines will be re…
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My grandmother sent me a dress from Kobsarka for the festival, but it didn’t come in time. Canyon shipping can be so variable that it’s almost better to have someone carry it with lim on a visit. Still, the celebration went well! My aunt let me borrow a spare gown at the satellite home, and I went to the rain dances with the rest of my family. The …
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Kati has decided to try baking Itaki fish-and-nut bread using a recipe shared by one of ler friends on the boards. The Itaki use fresh fish instead of dried in the pastry. Le has decided to blast modern music very loudly, the kind that makes me long for traditional ksibja* and tonal percussion. If I ever have a musically-inclined child, le will pla…
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This isn’t a normal Epiphany episode, but a note from me, Kaye Boesme. The content of this episode is on the cultural guide to gender (the TL;DR gender guide). I went with gender-neutral pronouns for everyone in Epiphany, including men and women, because traditional gender roles are not identical to those practiced in most Earth cultures with which…
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This morning, one of the administrative coordinators and I met on the street in front of the headquarters. I had questions about vacation, so le took me up to HR, and a young Shiji woman explained the Holiday Equivalencies Program. Everyone receives the Sabaji Tveshi majority’s religious holidays off, but they have a voucher system for those of us …
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Last night, I dreamt of Kelis. Le stood in a meadow of kau. It bobbed like the surface of the sea and cut into ler skin. Le held one of the husks and pulled apart the sheaf to expose the indigo grain inside, and le let the kernels fall to the ground. I knew that le did not see me. The kau leaves did not hurt. They went through me as if I were the g…
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This morning, a thunderstorm squatted over the entire city, and thunderstorms are nothing like monsoons. Lightning flashed from cloud to cloud and hit the rods on Galasu’s tall buildings. Thunder rattled my windows. Torrential rains started when I was halfway to the Skyrail terminal, so I ran. Thankfully, I packed another gyena in my bag. The dark …
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My words bring horror. People call me Desertion. My skin is the color of cliff-rock, and it flakes like cliff-rock. The Great Canyon dark devours my soul. My body becomes it, and the Canyon-Dark becomes my mind. It rips my brain into small pieces that are the Canyon’s rivers, And my blood is the soil that nourishes the people with fruit. Such is my…
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Suka called ler older cousin, Liga, whom le said was a hacker. I don’t remember ler face from Suka’s home, but le must be in our generation. I must have met lim. Le is familiar, and they look like each other. Maybe le was always out — but le looks our age. Le may have avoided us, of course. Suka says that Liga fell out with their family, and le isn…
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Kati is playing music in ler room. I can hear it through the walls. Le keeps stopping and going. It’s a complicated set of arpeggios. We had noodles with nut sauce and bought fruit-filled pastries like they eat in Itaka to celebrate the new apartment and our family relationship, right in front of the shrine, and we offered the naksbetru incense tha…
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It is disheartening that my first assignment involves working through archival documents when I spent so much time organizing people in Narahja.… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … It does not help that looking at archives is solitary work, so while my hands and eyes are busy — and while it does involve some menta…
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