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Welcome to season 10 of Myopia Movies! Each week we watch the movies from the 80s and 90s we grew up watching to address the lies that our memories and Blockbuster video told us. Do they hold up?
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This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a midwestern classic, dontcha know. We watched the Coen Brothers coldest movie, Fargo. We did it all for a little bit of money.... How will Fargo hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Daniel Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, , Peter Stormare, Harve Presne…
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In honor of its second week on the top of the charts, we are digging out of the vault the original episode on Beetlejuice from the mind of Tim Burton. I have not seen the new one as of writing this, but suffice to say, I am excited. Enjoy this cleaned up bonus episode! How will Beetlejuice and this 10 year old episode hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Dani…
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This week in Myopia Movies, we have a bit of a musical moment! We watched O Brother, Where Art Thou?, I too am a man of constant sorrow, with knees and a lower back of constant sorrow as well. How does O Brother, Where Art Thou? hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Matthew, Keiko Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen Starring: George Clooney, John Turturr…
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In honor of the passing of the late and great James Earl Jones, I have dug out of the old archives the Sandlot and cleaned it up. As our own baseball season is winding down, nice to reminisce about the boys of summer and one of the greatest voices to grace the silver screen. As an aside, my own voice on this track sounds unrecognizable, yeesh. How …
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This week, we learn the tragedy of high prison recidivism. We watched Raising Arizona, Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground! How will Raising Arizona hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Daniel Directed by: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Trey Wilson, John Goodman, William Forsythe, Sam McMurray, Frances McDorman…
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In honor of the long weekend, we start Coen Brothers month early with The Big Lebowski. This week in Myopia Movies, I nearly have a stroke trying to not quote the entirety of the movie. How will the The Big Lebowski hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Keiko, and Matthew Directors: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Mo…
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This week on Myopia Movies, you find out that you are my number one guy! We watched Batman (1989), why doesn't Batman dance any more? Remember the Bat-tu-si? Where does he get all those wonderful toys? How will Batman (1989) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Nur Director: Tim Burton Starring: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Bassinger, R…
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Welcome to Myopia Movies! This week we revisit a very early episode that I first watched for this show! John Carpenter is in rare form directing this throwback comedy! We watched Big Trouble in Little China! How will Big Trouble in Little China hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Keiko, Candace, and Matthew Director: John Carpenter Starring: Kurt Ru…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we buy Sword brand guns! We watched Romeo + Juliet, where the Hawaiian shirts are flowing, Mercutio is recreating Rocky Horror and the music is silly. Where for art thou, Postlethwaite? How will Romeo + Juliet hold up? Directed by Baz Luhrmann Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo, Pete…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate the start of season 11 with a revisited episode of Jim Carrey's the Mask! Somebody, stop us! Please, 11 years is so long for this nonsense! How will The Mask hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matt, Alex Directed by Charles Russell Starring: Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert, Peter Greene, Amy Yasbe…
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This week watch some classic James Bond, Casino Royale! No, not the good one, the Woody Allen one. You read that right. How will Casino Royale hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic, Daniel Directed by Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston Starring: Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, David Niven, Orson Welles, Joanna Pettet, Woody Allen, Deborah Kerr, William Hold…
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This week we do the Avengers movie everyone thinks of, the one with Ralph Fiennes. We watched The Avengers (1998), man, when Sean Connery does spite, he really nails it. How will The Avengers (1998) hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic, Steve, Matthew Directed by Jeremiah S. Chechik Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Patrick Macnee, Jim B…
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This week we crack out three seashells and have sex with an Occulus visor. We watched Demolition Man, the movie that shows us the horror of a non-violent society. How will Demolition Man hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel Directed by Marco Brambilla Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne, Benjamin Bratt,…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the explosive world of buddy cop chaos with our latest episode on Rush Hour 2. Join us as we unravel the mystery of how Jackie Chan's impeccable martial arts and Chris Tucker's endless chatter somehow make for cinematic gold. We'll explore the finer points of high-kicking action and laugh-out-loud banter, al…
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Welcome back to another episode of "Myopia Movies," where we strap in for the cinematic car crash you can't look away from! This week, we embark on a journey to the lunar land of broken dreams and bad investments with Adventures of Pluto Nash. Picture this: Eddie Murphy in space. Sounds promising, right? Well, hold onto your moon boots because this…
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This week we learn why to bless your golf clubs. This week we watch Dogma, schnoogans! Join us as we dive into the irreverent and hilarious world of Kevin Smith's "Dogma"! This week, we dissect the film's blend of divine comedy, theological debates, and pop culture references. From fallen angels to holy bartenders, nothing is sacred as we explore t…
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Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies! This week, we dive into the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat excitement of Unbreakable. Yes, that's right, the 2000 classic where Bruce Willis discovers his superpower: looking perpetually confused and slightly bored. Join us as we unravel the mystery of how a movie about a guy who can't get hurt manages to …
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This week on Myopia Movies, we lace up our roller skates and journey back to the glitter-soaked fever dream that is Xanadu. Join us as we watch Olivia Newton-John and a surprisingly spry Gene Kelly sing and skate their way through a plot so thin you could roller disco right through it. We'll break down the movie's mix of Greek muses, neon lights, a…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the dark, brooding, and oh-so-edgy world of Constantine. Marvel as Keanu Reeves chain-smokes his way through a film that somehow mixes theology, horror, and noir into a cocktail of supernatural shenanigans. Join us as we explore why this movie's take on angels and demons is as subtle as a sledgehammer and wh…
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This Week on Myopia Movies: We Dive into the Prehistoric Puzzler, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" Join us as we unearth the cinematic fossil that is "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story," where the idea of dinosaurs roaming modern New York City is somehow not the most unbelievable part. This week, we're peeling back the layers of this animated onion, r…
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This week we watch Disney's first attempt at a superhero picture, Iron Man fights the Nazi's! We watched The Rocketeer, the movie that shows the dangers of alcohol. How will The Rocketeer hold up? Host: Daniel Panel: Matthew, Lauren, Charlie. Directed by Joe Johnston Starring: Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, Timothy Dalton, Paul Sorv…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a remake, that was not asked for, not needed, missed the point, but boldly had Night Vision! We watched Rollerball (2002) and saw Rebecca Romjin naked in a PG 13 Movie as the director of Die Hard imagines the horrors of 2005! How will Rollerball (2002) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Nur Directed by Jo…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a family film about dog fighting! We watched Pokemon: The First Movie, a film about GMOs, Euthanasia, and power no children should have. How will Pokemon: The First Movie hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Alex, Keiko, and Nur Directed by Kunihiko Yuyama Starring Veronica Taylor, Rachael Lillis, Eric Stuart, Rica…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we are traumatized by another movie about flying by the director of Air Force One. Join us for childhood changing moments with The NeverEnding Story! How will The NeverEnding Story hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Kellie, Jon, Daniel. Directed by Wolfgang Petersen Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Tami Stronach, Gerald Mc…
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Welcome by to a Quinntober Episode of Myopia! We are talking about the bespandexed and coweled Indiana Batman knock-off, The Phantom! How will The Phantom hold up? Host: Matthew Panel: Nic and Candace, and Nur(?) Directed by Simon Wincer Starring: Billy Zane, Kristy Swanson, Treat Williams, Catherine Zeta-Jones, James Remar, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, P…
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This week of Quinntober we join two familiar faces as they shoot lions. We watched The Ghost and the Darkness, the movie where a British white savior isn't enough; you need an American as well. How will the Ghost and the Darkness hold up? Host: Matthew Panel: Nic, Nur, and Candace Directed by Stephen Hopkins Starring: Michael Douglas, Val Kilmer, T…
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This week on Myopia Movies, would you look at that, it is Quinntober an entirely Matt Quinn programmed month, so we, of course are starting with a Sci-Fi Fantasy Movie, where priest warrior Paul Bettany fights vampires when the theocratic world government Catholic Church claims they have all been eliminated. Yup...Holy Hell this movie is nuts. Epis…
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This week on Myopia Movies we finish our Romantic Month with a movie directed by one of the Airplane guys. We watched Ghost, the movie where Tony Goldwyn enters the ranks of greatest on-screen deaths. How will Ghost hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Nur, Keiko Directed by Jerry Zucker Starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Tony Goldw…
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As we stretch this Romantic Month in to week four, how long is this shortest month, we watch the movie that brought Julia Roberts into our hearts. We saw Pretty Woman, everyone's favorite PG13 movie about prostitution. How will Pretty Woman hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren, Keiko, Nur Directed by Garry Marshall Starring: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts…
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This week we seduce the man of our dreams using magic, and have no qualms about that. We watched Teen Witch, the lady version of Teen Wolf! How will Teen Witch hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Lauren, Nur Directed by Dorian Walker Starring: Robyn Lively, Dan Gauthier, Joshua John Miller, Caren Kaye, Dick Sargent, Zelda Rubinstein…
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This week we find Tim Curry terrifying and erotic, like most weeks. We watched Legend (1985), a friend pointed out that Tom Cruise's teeth don't line up in this film. I noticed it. I can't stop noticing it. Turns out, he needed to get rid of them thetans. How will Legend (1985) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Madison, Matthew, Keiko Directed by Ridley Sc…
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This week we give up our construction job to go full into our dancing hobby, we watched Flashdance another movie with a vague boyfriend named Nick. How will Flashdance hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Lauren, Keiko and Nur Directed by Adrian Lyne Starring Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Lilia Skala, Sunny Johnson, Kyle T. Heffnerm, Lee Ving…
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This week in Myopia Movies, we watch the horniest time travel movie this side of Cinemax. To round out my month of selections we go back in time with Back to the Future. How will Back to the Future hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Nur, and Candace Directed by Robert Zemeckis Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glove…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we keep open the beaches. We continue Hoffmannia by watching Jaws, a reminder of the time I screamed at the beach after stepping on a sea nettle. How will Jaws hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Nur, Keiko Directed by Steven Spielberg Starring Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, C…
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This week on another Hoffmanniac Month episode, you stick with us, because you want to live. We watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day, asta la vista, baby. Also, welcome Nur to the Cineprov Family! How will Terminator 2: Judgement Day hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Charlie, Matthew. Directed by James Cameron Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Ham…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we start Hofftober Month and enter the Nexus! We watched Star Trek: Generations, one more Christmas movie this season. Yes, I curated the whole month, and yes Star Trek is fantastic. How will Star Trek: Generations hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Nur, and Keiko. Directed by David Carson Starring Patrick Stewart, Willia…
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This week we visit the most depressing company Christmas Party in Cinema history. We watched Silent Night, Deadly Night, Bambi's revenge! How will Silent Night, Deadly Night hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, and Charlie Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr. Starring Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson…
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This week, with Christmas rapidly approaching, we revisit John Hughes' tight legal drama. We learn where John Hammond hid after Jurassic Park, we watched Miracle on 34th Street! How will Miracle on 34th Street hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Nur Directed by Les Mayfield Written by Valentine Davies, George Seaton, John Hughes Starring Richard At…
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This week on Myopia Movies, we learn it is ok to be a dentist. We splurge and watch two classic Rankin and Bass Shorts! We watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus, ground zero for the classic holiday characters Yukon Cornelius, The Bumble, Snow Miser and Heat Miser, and an elf who wants to be a dentist! Watch the p…
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Grab your BMX, this is about to get EXTREME! We watched the 1980s cult classic Rad! Directed by the stunt man behind Smokey and the Bandit. How will Rad hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur Directed by Hal Needham Starring: Bart Conner, Lori Loughlin, Talia Shire, Ray Walston, Alfie WiseBy Nic Hoffmann
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This week we finish the epic film franchise that is perfect for when the turkey has you glued to the couch. We watched the Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King, All this stuffing is so heavy, Sam. Our most awarded and gayest movie to date! How will Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Madison, and Matthe…
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This week we visit Arnie, Tommy, and Jimmy as we make an American Austrian Bond Movie. We watched True Lies and trick our wives to do a sexy dance. How will True Lies hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic and Christine Directed by James Cameron Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, Art Malik, Eliza Dushku,…
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This week we return to Arnold! And guess what, not one, but two Arnolds! We watched The 6th Day, and we eat your birthday cake! Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Matthew How will The Sixth Day hold up? Directed by Roger Spottiswoode Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Rapaport, Tony Goldwyn, Michael Rooker, Sarah Wynter, Wendy Crewson, Rodney Rowla…
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We end our Kingtastic Month with the classic Brian de Palma film about the dangers of menstruation. We watched the bicentennial's own Carrie! Earning an academy nod for both female leads, this film reminds us high school was awful, gym class was worse, but nothing beats home. How will Carrie hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Charlie, Nur Directed …
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This week we watched a classic comic book movie, we watched Creepshow (1982), the one where everyone is kind of a bastard. Leslie Nielsen, Roaches, Dead people, everyone is a reallllll bastard. How will Creepshow (1982) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Charlie, Matthew, Daniel, Madison Directed by George A. Romero Writen by Stephen King Starring Hal Holbr…
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