Nancy is framed! Sadly, she doesn't go on the lam with Ned and end up in a seedy motel room. Some hussy slapped on a wig, borrowed Nancy's name, and bilked some rich idiots in Ned's hometown out of some cash, and Nancy is of course the prime suspect. Bess goes full Spirit Halloween and turns Nancy into River Heights's cattiest reporter. Light B&E! …

Nancy heads to Emerson to help the least competent admin, Dean Jarvis, find out who has been stealing a really lowkey dangerous compound from a research lab on campus and runs into an ecofascist maniac who is ready to speedrun a violent police confrontation. It's a lot! Complete with callbacks to Files 8, my villain origin story!…

It's Halloween and Ned's working on a marketing project with some VERY dramatic Emerson seniors! They're in River Heights giving out free samples of proto Proactiv and being snippy. Also, Bess falls for one of said seniors before literally falling out of her chair. Nancy, Ned, and George try to find out what KO'd Bess, and of course there's some ma…

Nancy's father asks her to connect with a jeweler, Mr. Moto, who was robbed of an expensive pearl necklace which belongs to a socialite (Paris Hilton). Nancy and Carson end up heading to Japan and are threatened with math riddles! Then they come back and Ned escorts Nancy to a cult party while they're in full prom. It's bonkers and the last of the …

In which Nancy channels Steve Irwin and hangs out with wildlife. Carson's old college buddy Mr. Gonzalez has fallen for a crypto scam and Nancy and the girls head to Florida to check it out. This one is flat out bonkers. There are also submarines, though, so at least there's that.

In which the lambs are quite loud! Nancy's old friend, whose family owns a pretty big sheep farm, invites Nancy to check out a mysterious parchment picture that her dad recently bought, and then Nancy gets involved in a weird Hitchcock/Sopranos crossover episode featuring human trafficking. So, a normal week for her. Also, Nancy invites her entire …

Nancy takes flying lessons while Bess decides to live out a western romance novel. George is the rodeo clown. Most of the mystery is based on the disappearance of a pilot (Robert Pattinson?) and a weird medallion and a horse theft and a bizarre cloud, and in the end, I blame L. Ron for everything.

Nancy, who should be wildly unqualified for it, is called to help decipher clues leading to a possible treasure related to a long-abandoned indigenous settlement near Las Vegas. Ned, her common law husband, has arranged it since they are super traumatized from his kidnapping in Glowing Eye and need to hang out, and/or chase down clues. The Scientol…

Ned is missing and Carson has a sidepiece. Nancy is DISTRAUGHT. This book also has the BEST post-kidnapping reunion scene. Hollywood, turn THIS into your next attempt at Nancy Drew media, you cowards.

A very special Nancy Drew Files/Archer crossover! The Drew residence is receiving creepy hangup calls and threats stemming from a man Carson defended 8 years earlier; he was acquitted but the man who was convicted for the crime has just been released--and is claiming innocence. Carson tells Nancy to ABSOLUTELY stay out of it, so she starts investig…

It's Nancy and Ned's anniversary!!!!! Also Nancy gets entangled in her 16-year-old neighbor Nikki's terrible decision to date an emotionally abusive jerk who winds up dead. This is also the "pilot" for the short-lived River Heights series, introducing a bunch of dramatic high schoolers who Nancy is basically exasperated by, so that tracks. This boo…

The epic Nancy Drew/Phantom of the Opera crossover event! Nancy is helping Bess sneak into a huge space cowboy movie star’s dressing room during his movie premiere because she had a crush on him when they were in high school together (he’s 3 years older and a total himbo) but things go terribly wrong (not in a sexy way) and Nancy and George have to…

Ned is back!!! Nancy’s just-for-this-book-bestie Laurie has fallen for a charismatic former dancer turned DJ who now runs a (booze free???) dance club in River Heights. However, someone is starting trouble at the club and threatening Laurie (Michael Myers????) so Nancy’s entourage shows up to investigate while she snoops and plays waitress (again, …

In which Nancy and her entourage head to Mile High (Murder) Club for hang-gliding and glamping. The daughter of one of Carson’s old college friends is running her dad’s Extreme Sports Camp and guests are receiving threats. It’s real bad, y’all. Also Ned is totally absent from the book, so that was the worst too. Plus there’s a Chekhov’s freezer.…

Nancy is canonically a witch now. I don’t make the rules. In a weird turn of events, a company wants to build affordable housing (good) but they’re being jerks (bad). Nancy and her friends violate seat belt laws and contract the Bird Flu while saving a Tiger King-y casual apiary from Callous Developers. Also Nancy REALLY wants to help nurse Ned bac…

Aunt Eloise, who is somehow making bank, invites Nancy and her entourage to a cabin near Cooperstown to investigate a mysterious figure who has been spotted in the mist on the water. The figure leads them to a search for a child’s coach (like an 1800s Power Wheels) buried somewhere in the bay. Also, the Jolly Green Normal Sized Bro is haunting the …

In which Nancy hunts for Elon Musk, but only catches a Sea Org member! Carson is investigating an eccentric inventor who is using his weird creative genius in two ways: perfecting a murder robot and swindling people by “selling” them land on reservations (of course). Elon has a weird unsettling house surrounded by a moat with water that can catch o…

Carson receives an unsolicited Turkish prayer rug with a secret message woven into the design, asking him to bring a mannequin. Carson’s client Farouk had a Turkish rug shop in town that had a mannequin in the window, so it seems related, and Nancy and her friends set off to find Farouk and the mannequin. Nancy also saves a toddler from drowning in…

Nancy is again in need of enrichment in her enclosure, so a bunch of married swingers take her and her entourage on a ghost busting adventure, to FIVE creepy destinations. The last is a house full of HUMAN (and animal) SKULLS, so they weren’t wrong on that. Ned gets kidnapped and Nancy is nearly intentionally drowned! There’s just a lot going on!!!…

In which everyone hits up Padre Island for Spring Break! Nancy’s invited there by her camp buddy Mercedes (Selena Gomez), who is dating disaster himbo Buck (Ryan Hansen), and the Hardys (themselves) decide to crash this tender, hormone-flooded reunion. Ned is there too, and there are SEVERAL make out sessions AND banging opportunities for my OTP, s…

In which Nancy goes undercover as a candy striper (Ned is VERY INTERESTED in her cute li’l outfit) to discover who has it out for Ned’s doctor friend Trevor (Ryan Gosling with Barbie-movie hair). Trevor’s fiancé April (Pelican Brief era Julia Roberts in one of those bad wigs) is upset because her sick father’s prognosis isn’t great, and then he die…

Nancy, who needs enrichment in her habitat, is persuaded (ridiculously easily) to follow up on the faintest clue in the three year old disappearance of a hot rock star (John Stamos). Bess persuades veejay Luke from General Hospital to sponsor Nancy’s improv murder-mystery destination vacation at his MTV-lite station. L Ron also appears as the chann…

Nancy, who REFUSES to acknowledge that people die when she gets involved in politics, is helping sudden political enthusiast George volunteer for a local politician’s re-election campaign when she overhears a conspiracy to commit murder. They arrive too late to stop it, and the sole clue leads them to a construction site. Nancy ends up helping an i…

Ned takes Nancy on a road trip to an exclusive private college to meet his hot, wealthy childhood bestie (Chris Evans), but he’s injured before they see him. Nancy has to discover who would hurt Captain America, why Bryce Dallas Howard is apparently plotting her murder, and how to bang Ned on every available surface (probably?). So many computers! …

A friend of a friend slides into Nancy’s DMs hoping Nancy can track down whoever is sending creepy notes indicating a yacht death 5 years ago wasn’t an accident. Nancy heads out to paradise to get threatened with a spear gun like at least five times, judo chop a beret-wearing hothead, and literally choke out Jared Leto. She also makes brief but mea…

Colonialism ahoy! But first, Ned-napping! Nancy and her entourage are planning to join an Emerson trip to East Africa (I KNOW) when Ned goes missing. He’s recovered in time for the trip, and Nancy has two mysteries to solve: why someone is claiming an artificially created sapphire with a spider embedded inside was STOLEN from a guy who had a natura…

Note: this book contains neither crosswords nor ciphers in the traditional sense! The Notorious NBG head to Peru to help their temporary bud Carla, who is taking a secretarial course despite being ridiculously wealthy. She has a 300-ish year old family heirloom that only a white teen lady detective can decode! Ned cameos as her concerned beau who t…

Nancy heads to France to kick butt and help solve a friend (Keira Knightley)’s PTSD! She’s just a giving person that way. This is a real weird one, where we find out that Bess and George totally stan Joan of Arc, and John Slattery plays the client in the Perry Mason sub-mystery, The Case of the Frightened Financier.…

It’s 1965 and we’re getting all colonial! Nancy and the girls head to Emerson for June Week slash orgy time and end up staying with queer elder Uncle John, whose house is being haunted by a particularly greedy phantom. Nancy is menaced by a dude who is one traffic stop away from going full serial killer. There’s a memorable sequence involving crew …

In which Nancy is pursued by Sea Org members to Scotland, where she finds their sheep graveyard. (This is not a happy sheep story.) Carson is tapped to handle turning an estate over to the National Trust, because it belongs to Nancy’s maternal great-grandmother, and a family heirloom she was to inherit has disappeared. Also, a bunch of sheep. Ned, …

In SuperMystery 11, Nancy and Bess head to Canada right after Christmas to investigate sabotage on the set of a very dumb Lifetime movie being worked on by Bess’s cousin. Frank and Joe are hanging out with a bigwig in the ice car racing (???) community. It’s like someone took a Lifetime Christmas movie, Talladega Nights, and a CW show and threw the…

Ned is absolutely AWOL for this one, the story of a ballet school owner beset by annoyance and frustration while trying to put together the yearly Nutcracker performance. Nancy joins the fracas as propmistress slash sassmistress to help figure out who seems to be sabotaging the show. I blame L. Ron for all this.…

In Digest 175, Nancy, Bess, George, and Ned (Chad Michael Murray) investigate the disappearance of some wolves from a nearby wolf preserve, and strange events at the Hallmark Cinematic Universe Ice Festival, brought to you by Local Ski Shop. As you know, werewolves are not canon, so some poor furry just trying to get by has to be involved. At sever…

This club (literally) has it all (Christmas)! Nancy and Bess are in NYC to help the Hardys (played by whichever male lead from Friends you hate most, and Justin Timberlake) catch a pair of cat burglars. Bess meets the man of her dreams (played by any member of New Kids On the Block) and all of them are soon clubbing and ice skating and getting kidn…

A LEGIT BANGER. Nancy and Bess head to Chicago to find out who is threatening hot teen-fashion designer Kim Daley (Fairuza Balk). Everyone hates her, so the suspect list is long—and then Nancy discovers she has been poisoned and has 72 hours from the exposure to live. She calls in Ned and they go full Jack Bauer on everything, because they have som…

In which Nancy receives an emergency call to Washington to save Senator Kirkpatrick (Sigourney Weaver) from the repercussions of Files 7. The senator isn’t being blackmailed; she’s being threatened with exposure over one slightly sketch decision she made to help Teresa the tennis star, and TMZ has receipts. If Nancy can’t block the story, the senat…

In which Carson falls for a sexy older* lady! (*Older than Nancy, which is a relief!) Nancy and Carson are taking a cruise to Rio for Carnival and to catch up with one of Carson’s old friends when they run into the widow in question (Isabella Rossellini, an absolute smoke show). Nancy is enduring the thoroughly unwelcome attentions of the assistant…

The superlative no one wants!!! The Notorious NBG plus Ned is invited to a high school reunion hosted by the head cheerleader, which kicks off a string of robberies/mean-spirited pranks. Nancy investigates and nearly gets infected with typhus. She’s Final Girl-ing it!!! I love to see it!

In which Nancy helps Richard Branson get out of an Ocean’s Eleven setup. A handsome movie-studio heir was storing a Napoleon miniature in Branson’s hotel vault when it went up in flames! Nancy has to find the perp and avoid bad hotel publicity. With cameos from a college professor cat lady who lives on a houseboat and a rugged lumberjack with the i…

In which Nancy falls into an absolute hot mess involving Steve Buscemi, John Slattery, and Bea Arthur. 15 years ago, a toddler vanished when her grandmother died; the other set of grandparents is back from a busy schedule of savin’ foreign souls and bein’ captives. Nancy and her friends explore a decrepit castle and survive a boat crash, and elude …

In which Nancy stumbles onto the creepiest Real Doll sitch possible. Carson’s client, an actor who is directing plays for River Heights’s amateur acting troupe, has been seeing a dancing puppet near their venue. Nancy weathers several concussions to power through and play Scarlett O’Hara in their current production while investigating the creepy pu…

In which, well, there’s some yellowface. The Notorious NBG head to NYC, where Nancy is actually the Commissioner of All Police, to investigate the disappearance of a young Chinese exchange student. George poses as said student and it’s real cringe. Nancy gets murdered via flowerpot and walks it off, heads off an airplane bombing, and meets up with …

In which Nancy single-handedly funds a school! An old lady asks Nancy’s help in finding a treasure hidden by her great-uncle 100 years earlier, which could be sold to finance said school to benefit the town. Nancy tangles with a local xenophobe and a pair of con artists, and dates a guy who is possibly Ned wearing a mustache, if my theory is correc…

In which Nancy’s entire extended entourage visits the newest addition to the United States, Hawaii! Skin diving! Luaus! Volcanoes! Dumbest gang names ever! This club has it all!!!

In which Nancy boards the Freewinds and sets sail for danger! Frank and Joe are undercover and Nancy overhears two people plotting to sell CIA secrets. Nancy finds a scorpion in her bed (which is not a euphemism for Frank)! A vampire mask is worn! Horrible decisions all around!

In which Nancy solves TWO murders after seeing the corpses! Nancy meets a rich widow and her entourage, who are staying next door at the Plaza Hotel, and the widow, who feels she’s in danger, dies in Nancy’s arms. It’s pretty bad. The house detective immediately suspects her, and Nancy has to clear her name, even though she basically treats the det…

NED PROPOSES TO NANCY!!! Because it’s sweeps week! Ned’s home for summer break and Nancy doesn’t understand why he’s been ghosting her… and then he asks her to marry him. Nancy’s evil twin then announces that SHE is marrying Ned, in a shocking twist!!! My fix-it fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736789…

Nancy, Ned, Bess, and George head to Hawaii to find a missing 16-year-old girl and, in the process, are nearly killed in an engineered car crash, exploded, and thrown into a legit volcano! Nancy’s getting all hard-boiled up in here, y’all!

In which Nancy stumbles into a Regency-era extortion racket. Ned is super cute in this one, and they have hurt/comfort scenes! Also, a barn literally burns down. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, and more! (Is Felix a vampire, or just an aspiring pimp? Also food for thought.)

After Ned sets fire to the barbecue, spoiling his domestic-goddess cottagecore phase, he and Nancy drag Bess and George to a fancy French cooking school, where the head chef collapses during orientation and Nancy and Ned’s teacher, the lead singer of Nine Inch Nails, is discovered as a corpse-sickle in the walk-in. It’s up to the Fab Four to stop a…