Best Susan Cottrell, FreedHearts Podcasts (2024)

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Does the Church Actually Teach us to Hate God?? 22:07

4h ago22:07

22:07

Today, we talk about the Teaching of Contempt for God – and how the church actually teaches us to hate God!! We may not realize that, amidst the singing of praises, and saying, “Oh God is so good!” but all of it is over a trapdoor of seething contempt for a God who we are taught is capable of some horrible stuff. That’s our understanding from relig…

1
Does the Church Actually Teach us to Hate Ourselves? 26:31

5h ago26:31

26:31

You only can define God or even think about God in relation to us and the relationship with us. So, it’s important to know who are we. Today, we talk about the church’s teaching of contempt for YOU. How the church actually teaches us to hate ourselves! We talk about who we are, and how God, the Universe, Spirit, really truly feels about us. In the …

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Having Fun with SLOTH and GLUTTONY! 30:22

3d ago30:22

30:22

Let's have some fun with sloth and gluttony! Have you been told you’re not working hard enough, that you just want things handed to you while you sit around and do nothing? Isn’t that the trope? That you just need to work harder, and that if you’re not making it, it’s your fault! Mohamad Safa says, “People aren’t going hungry because we cannot feed…

1
Yikes! What About ENVY and WRATH? 26:10

10d ago26:10

26:10

Today, we talk about envy and wrath. Yikes, scary! Breathe. We are all okay. That’s why we are deconstructing this -- to free our hearts from this fear. People in power often accuse and shame us in the very things they do! It’s all about projecting. They project onto us their sins, their crimes. That sleight of hand, that narrative keeps us focusin…

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Oh Baby… Let’s Talk All About LUST! 35:11

27d ago35:11

35:11

We’ve been deconstructing the so-called "7 Deadly Sins" — and today we talk about LUST! The non-affirming church makes rules telling you that you’re lustful—your beautiful relationships are demeaned and reduced to being about lust—because there is no room in the church to affirm you. And we ask: Why the heck does it matter what religious leaders sa…

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GREED: Is There an Upside?? 35:18

27d ago35:18

35:18

Have you ever wondered why the conservative nonaffirming rules-based church is so upside-down? They focus downline, shaming and threatening regular people who are just trying to live. Meanwhile, these leaders are hiding rampant child sexual abuse and promoting teachings that are racist, misogynistic, queerphobic, especially transphobic. We’ve been …

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PRIDE: It’s a Celebration, Not a Sin! 24:51

1M ago24:51

24:51

June is Pride Month—a time dedicated not just to parades and rainbow flags but to profound affirmation and resistance against discrimination. The skewed Christian view of pride involves a self-centered attitude, placing oneself above others and, most critically, above God. But the LGBTQ+ community is not declaring themselves above anyone else. Prid…

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Have We Totally Misunderstood What “Repent” Means?? 24:37

2M ago24:37

24:37

We have all heard it: "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Actually, this is one of the worst translated passages in all the Bible – and one of the most harmful because of that. What if what Jesus REALLY said was, “Deconstruct, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” Would that change things? Would it have eliminated a lot of the shame an…

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Humanity’s Fallen and It Can’t Get Up… NOT! 40:19

2M ago40:19

40:19

Today we deconstruct one of the most insane ideas in Christianity: The alleged fall of humanity, when one person ate forbidden fruit, and now, there is not one shred of goodness in us, not a spark, unless we have asked Jesus to be our Savior. That’s the story. The actual theory and false teaching is that because Eve and Adam sinned, the rest of us …

1
Beloved, You Have an All Access Pass 26:43

2M ago26:43

26:43

Rules, laws, shoulds, shouldn’ts... the Bible is full of them. And the church has even added more to that list! The religious leaders approached Jesus and asked, “Hey Jesus, Uh, lot’s of rules here, lots of laws, what are the ones that are the most important?” And Jesus deconstructed ALL the law, ALL of those rules, ALL of the rules the church adds…

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The Church Has Trapped You and Sealed the Exits 36:02

3M ago36:02

36:02

We’ve been wanting to talk for a while about how the conservative evangelical church traps people. It is deliberate. They draw you in, telling you: God loves you just as you are — yes you’re a sinner, we’re all sinners, duh. But God loves you — just some minor tweaking here and there, and you’ll be good as new. They dismantle you, making you an ene…

1
Contempt for Our Free Will & For Our Children 33:25

3M ago33:25

33:25

Today, we talk about how the church teaches us to have contempt for our own free will. And, in particular, how we have contempt for, interact with, and treat our children. This may sound harsh, but, based on their teachings and beliefs, it’s the truth: The religious, rules-based, behavior-focused, conservative church hates its children! One of the …

1
Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom 33:54

3M ago33:54

33:54

We have started to ask the question: Who is God? It’s certainly NOT the old white man in the sky, with all the feminine aspects ripped out. Something has been stolen from us. Our sacred interior has been ransacked and we have lost the understanding of God who loves us, delights in us. This is vital because when we know God feels this way about us —…

1
How Gender Plays Out in Real Life 21:46

4M ago21:46

21:46

Today, we talk all about an example of how gender plays out in real life. How masculinity and femininity are perceived and received, and the impact it has. When you reduce the feminine, you reduce all the feminine traits: of caring, healing, listening, loving—which are indispensable as a balance to the masculine. What happens when you do that is to…

1
God’s Gender Reveal!! 25:19

4M ago25:19

25:19

What is masculine and what is feminine? What is our understanding of what they mean? Why does it matter? And why is the culture, and especially the church, holding so hard to traditional definitions? Gender has been turned into a false binary that has assigned roles based on gender with very little tolerance for crossover—even though all of us have…

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The Teaching of Contempt – The Absolute Core of Our Problems 27:52

4M ago27:52

27:52

Here we go! We begin our deep-dive into deconstruction by talking about the core of the false teachings coming from the ultra-religious, non-affirming, conditional-love church. It is the root of our racism, queerphobia, xenophobia, misogyny—so much of our problems and issues today. What is it? It is the Teaching of Contempt. Us versus them. So, wha…

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It’s Bible Story Time! Does This Sound Absurd to You?? 19:10

4M ago19:10

19:10

It’s important to deconstruct – especially when your faith has been rattled by religious abuse. You likely know exactly what I am talking about. If we do not deconstruct, we can be left with a lot of baggage. It’s vital to separate the God of Religion from the truth of God. Today we have some fun – and we pose a pretty big question. Beloved, gather…

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Freedom from Lies the Church Tells About You & About God! 28:29

4M ago28:29

28:29

Sometimes, when people attack deconstruction, they talk about it like it’s an attack on Christianity. Actually, it’s just the opposite. Deconstruction is tearing down false religious teaching that goes against the message and life of Jesus. That message has been perverted by much of the Christian religion. Beloved, there is one thing that scares th…

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Deconstructing the Prodigal: It's NOT About What You Think 31:42

5M ago31:42

31:42

Have you been called a Prodigal, and told that if you just repent all will be forgiven? Perhaps you’ve been told that, “Sure, you’re saying you’re gay or transgender—or that you are affirming your LGBTQ+ child--or whatever it is—but one day you’ll repent and then we will “graciously” let you back in the fold!” Uh yeah, no thank you. Few stories are…

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The Prodigal Transgender Daughter: This Changes Everything! 16:36

5M ago16:36

16:36

The story of the prodigal has been misunderstood and abused to harm and shame people. In this very special, powerful episode, we give you a profound, eye-opening retelling of this classic Biblical story about the prodigal – but this time as a transgender woman And she is certainly not the one who repents. This will forever change how you view this …

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If I Deconstruct, Will I Lose Who I Am? 31:34

5M ago31:34

31:34

When you begin to deconstruct everything you have believed, you begin to wonder who you are. You’re left wondering: how do I view the world now? It’s like someone healing from ongoing abuse, and they don’t really know who they are without it—if they’re not an abuse-survivor, who are they? If you’re not a “Christian,” who are you? It’s a big questio…

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Why Parents Must AFFIRM Their LGBTQ+ Children 16:43

6M ago16:43

16:43

We hear from Christian parents every single day. Many give reasons why they just will not support, accept, affirm their LGBTQ+ child. Usually because of their interpretation of the Bible and what their pastors have told them to do. Today we share an email and our answer to a Mom about why parents absolutely MUST support, accept and affirm their LGB…

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Family Issues Are NOT Your Fault! 26:31

6M ago26:31

26:31

We have an amazing capacity to normalize things that can be unbearably painful. It’s a great survival skill. It really does help us survive unimaginable circumstances. But it’s NOT a great thriving skill. Once you’re past the danger, once you survive, you need a new pattern to thrive. And you need to know that trauma, those unbearable, dysfunctiona…

1
New Year's Revolutions Instead of Resolutions! 28:02

6M ago28:02

28:02

We are not huge fans of New Year’s resolutions. Kind of feels like setting yourself up to fail. I understand the power of motivation and commitment, setting a goal, pushing yourself – but somehow this feels different. So, instead of New Year’s resolutions – we are doing New Year’s revolutions! We give you 7 things to stop and 7 things to start that…

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How Do I Really Know If I'm Right About LGBTQ+? 29:23

6M ago29:23

29:23

The anti-gay church has done a lot of damage as it is a system that was built on exclusion. So, if we find ourselves excluded for whatever reason, we take a lot of baggage with us – false teachings, shame, guilt, cult-like programming. One huge piece of baggage is doubt – wondering if we really are right about all of this. About LGBTQ+. About decon…

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A Gift from Susan: A Story About You from Mother God 17:38

7M ago17:38

17:38

I have tiny babies in my life now – my grandchildren. I love them – as they are, for who they are. Unconditionally. They don’t have to do anything to earn that. And they never, ever will. As we grow up, sometimes parents do and say hurtful things and withhold the love and acceptance you deserve. You don’t, and never did deserve that. So, today I wa…

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A Christmas for the Rest of Us. Holidays After Deconstructing. 27:48

7M ago27:48

27:48

After you have deconstructed, Christmas becomes an interesting season doesn’t it? Our view of God has expanded, our faith has expanded. In this beautiful, very special holiday episode, we share three stories - one from Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple; one from Sandra Cisneros; and a unique retelling of the Biblical story for us outliers, t…

1
Holidays or Helladays? When you can’t, or don’t want to go home. 30:21

8M ago30:21

30:21

Have you been uninvited to a holiday or family gathering? Yeah, us too. And honestly, is that kind of event the last place you would want to be because of things that are said or just because of how you are made to feel? We are right in the middle of the holiday season, and all the family issues and triggers that can bring. So, let’s talk about how…

1
Infuriating Family Fanatics! Just in Time for the Holidays. 36:50

8M ago36:50

36:50

This time of year, and being around family so much can be full of triggers and difficult situations. Especially with all the division and anger out there. So, how do we deal with infuriating family fanatics? When we are afraid, angry, and even hurt, how do we love people we don’t even like that much? What does that mean, and what does it not mean? …

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Are Anti-LGBTQ Christians Real People or Just Bots?!? 33:59

8M ago33:59

33:59

Today, we talk about all the things you hear from anti-LGBTQ Christians, and we ask if those are real thoughts and questions, real concerns, or are they just repeating what they have been programmed to say?? We have some fun discussing if they are real people or are they just bots?? ;-) And, most importantly, we talk about how to respond, especiall…

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Changing Family Definitons and Expecations 33:21

8M ago33:21

33:21

How we define family changes. Relationships change. So, our expectations of family should change. We get triggered, we get hurt, especially at this time of year. Beloved, you deserve to find your people. You deserve to love and be loved as you are for who you are. As Richard Bach said, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but …

1
Getting Out of the Christian Labyrinth 27:28

9M ago27:28

27:28

We get a lot of emails from beloved souls who have been absolutely terrified by their church and Christian friends. Cause, you know, that’s so Christlike. (sigh) They are told that they’re not enough, that their parents are right, their pastors are right, and they’re just awful if they can’t change their fundamental core. That they are doomed. No B…

1
You Don't Need Anyone's Approval! 16:33

9M ago16:33

16:33

The church will call people a heretic for years before they finally recognize them as a saint. If we need the church’s approval, to be validated, to be seen, a lot of the world will sit unrecognized. People whom God sees as perfect and loves unconditionally will often be sitting in the dark in tears, waiting for approval. You don’t need to wait for…

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You Don't Need to Defend Yourself or Your Beliefs! 32:33

9M ago32:33

32:33

You know that debating people who are committed to misunderstanding you can be toxic. We fall down the rabbit hole and it usually does not go well – especially for our hearts and peace. You deserve better! Let me be clear: YOU are not the one who need to defend ANYTHING. And at times it’s best to just speak the truth, share a resource, and sashay a…

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Been Told You’re "Cherry Picking?" Go Right Ahead! 21:07

9M ago21:07

21:07

Have you ever been told you’re cherry-picking scripture? This is when you don’t buy someone else’s interpretation of the bible, they tell you you’re cherry-picking. We’ve been told this many times, and I’m pretty sure you have been too. It’s when we won’t lay down our verses and replace them with their verses—the ones they’ve cherry-picked and thro…

1
"Go and Sin No More?" What a Lie! 24:05

10M ago24:05

24:05

We hear it all the time, we know you do too: “Jesus said to go and sin no more!” Well, honestly beloved, enough is enough! Remember that Bible story: “Jesus Scatters Self-Righteous Men in the Name of Mercy and Justice!” No? Hmmm… How about this one: “The Woman Caught in Adultery.” Yeah, that’s more familiar. It’s the same story, but a completely di…

1
There is Nothing Wrong With You! 22:40

10M ago22:40

22:40

For those of us who have a religious background – it was likely ingrained in us that we are broken, fallen sinners – in need of being saved. And how convenient – a church within walking distance who can help with that – as long as we follow, and do and believe what we are told. But what if they are completely wrong? What if you knew that you knew t…

1
Kids ARE Being Groomed, but Not How You've Been Told 16:30

10M ago16:30

16:30

Let's be clear: the false narrative that links grooming with LGBTQ+ individuals is nothing but a despicable lie, born out of hatred and ignorance. The truth is that most child sexual abusers are heterosexual. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. What's at play is a sick and twisted desire for power, not love. Yes, kids ARE being groomed – …

1
Declutter Your Home, Declutter Your Beliefs! 33:15

10M ago33:15

33:15

We have all heard about decluttering your stuff – keeping what is important and what makes you happy. Well, the same is true with decluttering our beliefs – especially for those of us who are deconstructing from harmful, false religious teaching. When you have a collection of beliefs that don’t work for you – that don’t focus on loving God, loving …

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"Well, why can't I marry my dog??" Let's talk consent! 18:56

11M ago18:56

18:56

The LGBTQ+ debate gets crazy out there doesn’t it? Raise your hand if you’ve heard this one: “If two men can get married, why can’t I marry my dog?” This is a real thing people throw around. Or, “If two men can have sex, why can’t I have sex with a child?” These are real things that are said by people trying to defend homophobic and transphobic vie…

1
Is Being WOKE Really a Bad Thing? 21:05

11M ago21:05

21:05

The word woke is all over our screens, the campaign trail, the news… but what does it really mean and where did it start? How did it become a bad thing? The earliest usages of woke date back to the early 20th century and the idea of Black people “keeping their eyes open” to the realities of white supremacist violence. “Stay woke!” continued as a wa…

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10 Religious Rules that Every Person Should Break! 37:01

12M ago37:01

37:01

The trouble with religious rules is that they are often motivated by fear and written by men who want to strengthen their power and control. Many of us who are deconstructing still struggle with the deeply ingrained, false, damaging teaching based in keeping the rules. In this episode, we ask ourselves “Do we have any religious rules which get in t…

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Are We Afraid of a Pretend God? 20:59

1y ago20:59

20:59

Fear! It’s such a powerful, destructive force. We talk a lot about how so much of what we see out there – and what we face in our own hearts – is all about fear. And are we afraid of a PRETEND God?? Beloved, we don’t need to be afraid – but what do we do? So, we talk today about how we might quiet those fears, and we share two lovely pieces from th…

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10 Sneaky Things Christians Say About LGBTQ+ (and What They Really Mean!) 19:20

1y ago19:20

19:20

A lot of non-affirming Christians and churches are trying to fool you. But we are not going to let them. They are trying to change their tactics, their tone. The marketing and phrases seem to be welcoming to those in our community who are LGBTQ+. But they are not welcoming at all! To guard our hearts, we need to be able to hear and recognize these …

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The Truth That REALLY Sets Us Free! 25:25

1y ago25:25

25:25

We are going to talk about truth. I know that’s kind of a trigger word – as what is truth, whose truth is it. It’s easy to get confused. Is there something we can default to? A core we can stand on? Especially when comes to Christianity, when that word alone can be triggering because of so much false teaching, harm, hate and hypocrisy -- unlike the…

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Answers to 4 Scary Questions That Non-Affirming Christians Ask 21:28

1y ago21:28

21:28

Many of you know how to respond to the accusations and arrows coming your way. We know the truth in our hearts, but we sometimes struggle on how to respond with the confidence and peace we have. And for some of us, these questions can be a real stumbling block, especially to those new on the journey of deconstructing or of living their authentic li…

1
Are We Just Taking the Easy Way Out? 23:55

1y ago23:55

23:55

Multiple times a day, we get attacked and accused - as parents & allies. And it does not even compare to what we hear from our gay and trans kids about what they go through. :-( One of the things we all hear a lot is that our ears are just being tickled, that we are cherry-picking verses, that we are rewriting the truth so that we can justify sin –…

1
Getting the Harmful Religious Crap Out of Our Heads 29:08

1y ago29:08

29:08

Every day, we hear from people who grew up in a church that teaches a conditional God who’ll drop you into hell – and if you end up there it’s your fault anyway. It’s like, you’re barely acceptable to God as it is, you lowly worm, but if you’re gay or trans or bisexual, you are basically sh*t out of luck! That’s what many people are taught, and it’…

1
Yeah, I'm All Good... Save Your Own Heart! 18:35

1y ago18:35

18:35

Anyone out there who has people who are trying to change them? Yeah. Some with good intentions, I guess. And some, let’s be honest, with bad intentions based on fear. So, how do we respond when someone reaches out to us to help us get "back on the path", "get back in God’s will", "get back on the straight (ha!) and narrow"?? Especially if it is som…

1
Just How Sick Has Toxic Religion Made Us? 33:06

1y ago33:06

33:06

When we were in the non-affirming evangelical church, we did not realize how toxic it was or how sick it was making us. When we opened the box we had God in, when we began to deconstruct those false teachings, we begin to see all the symptoms – our views, attitudes, lack of compassion, judgment. We came to understand how sick toxic religion had mad…

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Susan Cottrell, FreedHearts Podcasts

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