Best Susan Cottrell, FreedHearts Podcasts (2024)

1
Contempt for God's Love, Joy, Freedom 33:54

1d ago33:54

33:54

We have started to ask the question: Who is God? It’s certainly NOT the old white man in the sky, with all the feminine aspects ripped out. Something has been stolen from us. Our sacred interior has been ransacked and we have lost the understanding of God who loves us, delights in us. This is vital because when we know God feels this way about us —…

1
How Gender Plays Out in Real Life 21:46

9d ago21:46

21:46

Today, we talk all about an example of how gender plays out in real life. How masculinity and femininity are perceived and received, and the impact it has. When you reduce the feminine, you reduce all the feminine traits: of caring, healing, listening, loving—which are indispensable as a balance to the masculine. What happens when you do that is to…

1
God’s Gender Reveal!! 25:19

16d ago25:19

25:19

What is masculine and what is feminine? What is our understanding of what they mean? Why does it matter? And why is the culture, and especially the church, holding so hard to traditional definitions? Gender has been turned into a false binary that has assigned roles based on gender with very little tolerance for crossover—even though all of us have…

1
The Teaching of Contempt – The Absolute Core of Our Problems 27:52

23d ago27:52

27:52

Here we go! We begin our deep-dive into deconstruction by talking about the core of the false teachings coming from the ultra-religious, non-affirming, conditional-love church. It is the root of our racism, queerphobia, xenophobia, misogyny—so much of our problems and issues today. What is it? It is the Teaching of Contempt. Us versus them. So, wha…

1
It’s Bible Story Time! Does This Sound Absurd to You?? 19:10

30d ago19:10

19:10

It’s important to deconstruct – especially when your faith has been rattled by religious abuse. You likely know exactly what I am talking about. If we do not deconstruct, we can be left with a lot of baggage. It’s vital to separate the God of Religion from the truth of God. Today we have some fun – and we pose a pretty big question. Beloved, gather…

1
Freedom from Lies the Church Tells About You & About God! 28:29

1M ago28:29

28:29

Sometimes, when people attack deconstruction, they talk about it like it’s an attack on Christianity. Actually, it’s just the opposite. Deconstruction is tearing down false religious teaching that goes against the message and life of Jesus. That message has been perverted by much of the Christian religion. Beloved, there is one thing that scares th…

1
Deconstructing the Prodigal: It's NOT About What You Think 31:42

2M ago31:42

31:42

Have you been called a Prodigal, and told that if you just repent all will be forgiven? Perhaps you’ve been told that, “Sure, you’re saying you’re gay or transgender—or that you are affirming your LGBTQ+ child--or whatever it is—but one day you’ll repent and then we will “graciously” let you back in the fold!” Uh yeah, no thank you. Few stories are…

1
The Prodigal Transgender Daughter: This Changes Everything! 16:36

2M ago16:36

16:36

The story of the prodigal has been misunderstood and abused to harm and shame people. In this very special, powerful episode, we give you a profound, eye-opening retelling of this classic Biblical story about the prodigal – but this time as a transgender woman And she is certainly not the one who repents. This will forever change how you view this …

1
If I Deconstruct, Will I Lose Who I Am? 31:34

2M ago31:34

31:34

When you begin to deconstruct everything you have believed, you begin to wonder who you are. You’re left wondering: how do I view the world now? It’s like someone healing from ongoing abuse, and they don’t really know who they are without it—if they’re not an abuse-survivor, who are they? If you’re not a “Christian,” who are you? It’s a big questio…

1
Why Parents Must AFFIRM Their LGBTQ+ Children 16:43

2M ago16:43

16:43

We hear from Christian parents every single day. Many give reasons why they just will not support, accept, affirm their LGBTQ+ child. Usually because of their interpretation of the Bible and what their pastors have told them to do. Today we share an email and our answer to a Mom about why parents absolutely MUST support, accept and affirm their LGB…

1
Family Issues Are NOT Your Fault! 26:31

3M ago26:31

26:31

We have an amazing capacity to normalize things that can be unbearably painful. It’s a great survival skill. It really does help us survive unimaginable circumstances. But it’s NOT a great thriving skill. Once you’re past the danger, once you survive, you need a new pattern to thrive. And you need to know that trauma, those unbearable, dysfunctiona…

1
New Year's Revolutions Instead of Resolutions! 28:02

3M ago28:02

28:02

We are not huge fans of New Year’s resolutions. Kind of feels like setting yourself up to fail. I understand the power of motivation and commitment, setting a goal, pushing yourself – but somehow this feels different. So, instead of New Year’s resolutions – we are doing New Year’s revolutions! We give you 7 things to stop and 7 things to start that…

1
How Do I Really Know If I'm Right About LGBTQ+? 29:23

3M ago29:23

29:23

The anti-gay church has done a lot of damage as it is a system that was built on exclusion. So, if we find ourselves excluded for whatever reason, we take a lot of baggage with us – false teachings, shame, guilt, cult-like programming. One huge piece of baggage is doubt – wondering if we really are right about all of this. About LGBTQ+. About decon…

1
A Gift from Susan: A Story About You from Mother God 17:38

3M ago17:38

17:38

I have tiny babies in my life now – my grandchildren. I love them – as they are, for who they are. Unconditionally. They don’t have to do anything to earn that. And they never, ever will. As we grow up, sometimes parents do and say hurtful things and withhold the love and acceptance you deserve. You don’t, and never did deserve that. So, today I wa…

1
A Christmas for the Rest of Us. Holidays After Deconstructing. 27:48

4M ago27:48

27:48

After you have deconstructed, Christmas becomes an interesting season doesn’t it? Our view of God has expanded, our faith has expanded. In this beautiful, very special holiday episode, we share three stories - one from Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple; one from Sandra Cisneros; and a unique retelling of the Biblical story for us outliers, t…

1
Holidays or Helladays? When you can’t, or don’t want to go home. 30:21

4M ago30:21

30:21

Have you been uninvited to a holiday or family gathering? Yeah, us too. And honestly, is that kind of event the last place you would want to be because of things that are said or just because of how you are made to feel? We are right in the middle of the holiday season, and all the family issues and triggers that can bring. So, let’s talk about how…

1
Infuriating Family Fanatics! Just in Time for the Holidays. 36:50

4M ago36:50

36:50

This time of year, and being around family so much can be full of triggers and difficult situations. Especially with all the division and anger out there. So, how do we deal with infuriating family fanatics? When we are afraid, angry, and even hurt, how do we love people we don’t even like that much? What does that mean, and what does it not mean? …

1
Are Anti-LGBTQ Christians Real People or Just Bots?!? 33:59

5M ago33:59

33:59

Today, we talk about all the things you hear from anti-LGBTQ Christians, and we ask if those are real thoughts and questions, real concerns, or are they just repeating what they have been programmed to say?? We have some fun discussing if they are real people or are they just bots?? ;-) And, most importantly, we talk about how to respond, especiall…

1
Changing Family Definitons and Expecations 33:21

5M ago33:21

33:21

How we define family changes. Relationships change. So, our expectations of family should change. We get triggered, we get hurt, especially at this time of year. Beloved, you deserve to find your people. You deserve to love and be loved as you are for who you are. As Richard Bach said, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but …

1
Getting Out of the Christian Labyrinth 27:28

5M ago27:28

27:28

We get a lot of emails from beloved souls who have been absolutely terrified by their church and Christian friends. Cause, you know, that’s so Christlike. (sigh) They are told that they’re not enough, that their parents are right, their pastors are right, and they’re just awful if they can’t change their fundamental core. That they are doomed. No B…

1
You Don't Need Anyone's Approval! 16:33

6M ago16:33

16:33

The church will call people a heretic for years before they finally recognize them as a saint. If we need the church’s approval, to be validated, to be seen, a lot of the world will sit unrecognized. People whom God sees as perfect and loves unconditionally will often be sitting in the dark in tears, waiting for approval. You don’t need to wait for…

1
You Don't Need to Defend Yourself or Your Beliefs! 32:33

6M ago32:33

32:33

You know that debating people who are committed to misunderstanding you can be toxic. We fall down the rabbit hole and it usually does not go well – especially for our hearts and peace. You deserve better! Let me be clear: YOU are not the one who need to defend ANYTHING. And at times it’s best to just speak the truth, share a resource, and sashay a…

1
Been Told You’re "Cherry Picking?" Go Right Ahead! 21:07

6M ago21:07

21:07

Have you ever been told you’re cherry-picking scripture? This is when you don’t buy someone else’s interpretation of the bible, they tell you you’re cherry-picking. We’ve been told this many times, and I’m pretty sure you have been too. It’s when we won’t lay down our verses and replace them with their verses—the ones they’ve cherry-picked and thro…

1
"Go and Sin No More?" What a Lie! 24:05

6M ago24:05

24:05

We hear it all the time, we know you do too: “Jesus said to go and sin no more!” Well, honestly beloved, enough is enough! Remember that Bible story: “Jesus Scatters Self-Righteous Men in the Name of Mercy and Justice!” No? Hmmm… How about this one: “The Woman Caught in Adultery.” Yeah, that’s more familiar. It’s the same story, but a completely di…

1
There is Nothing Wrong With You! 22:40

7M ago22:40

22:40

For those of us who have a religious background – it was likely ingrained in us that we are broken, fallen sinners – in need of being saved. And how convenient – a church within walking distance who can help with that – as long as we follow, and do and believe what we are told. But what if they are completely wrong? What if you knew that you knew t…

1
Kids ARE Being Groomed, but Not How You've Been Told 16:30

7M ago16:30

16:30

Let's be clear: the false narrative that links grooming with LGBTQ+ individuals is nothing but a despicable lie, born out of hatred and ignorance. The truth is that most child sexual abusers are heterosexual. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. What's at play is a sick and twisted desire for power, not love. Yes, kids ARE being groomed – …

1
Declutter Your Home, Declutter Your Beliefs! 33:15

7M ago33:15

33:15

We have all heard about decluttering your stuff – keeping what is important and what makes you happy. Well, the same is true with decluttering our beliefs – especially for those of us who are deconstructing from harmful, false religious teaching. When you have a collection of beliefs that don’t work for you – that don’t focus on loving God, loving …

1
"Well, why can't I marry my dog??" Let's talk consent! 18:56

7M ago18:56

18:56

The LGBTQ+ debate gets crazy out there doesn’t it? Raise your hand if you’ve heard this one: “If two men can get married, why can’t I marry my dog?” This is a real thing people throw around. Or, “If two men can have sex, why can’t I have sex with a child?” These are real things that are said by people trying to defend homophobic and transphobic vie…

1
Is Being WOKE Really a Bad Thing? 21:05

8M ago21:05

21:05

The word woke is all over our screens, the campaign trail, the news… but what does it really mean and where did it start? How did it become a bad thing? The earliest usages of woke date back to the early 20th century and the idea of Black people “keeping their eyes open” to the realities of white supremacist violence. “Stay woke!” continued as a wa…

1
10 Religious Rules that Every Person Should Break! 37:01

9M ago37:01

37:01

The trouble with religious rules is that they are often motivated by fear and written by men who want to strengthen their power and control. Many of us who are deconstructing still struggle with the deeply ingrained, false, damaging teaching based in keeping the rules. In this episode, we ask ourselves “Do we have any religious rules which get in t…

1
Are We Afraid of a Pretend God? 20:59

9M ago20:59

20:59

Fear! It’s such a powerful, destructive force. We talk a lot about how so much of what we see out there – and what we face in our own hearts – is all about fear. And are we afraid of a PRETEND God?? Beloved, we don’t need to be afraid – but what do we do? So, we talk today about how we might quiet those fears, and we share two lovely pieces from th…

1
10 Sneaky Things Christians Say About LGBTQ+ (and What They Really Mean!) 19:20

9M ago19:20

19:20

A lot of non-affirming Christians and churches are trying to fool you. But we are not going to let them. They are trying to change their tactics, their tone. The marketing and phrases seem to be welcoming to those in our community who are LGBTQ+. But they are not welcoming at all! To guard our hearts, we need to be able to hear and recognize these …

1
The Truth That REALLY Sets Us Free! 25:25

9M ago25:25

25:25

We are going to talk about truth. I know that’s kind of a trigger word – as what is truth, whose truth is it. It’s easy to get confused. Is there something we can default to? A core we can stand on? Especially when comes to Christianity, when that word alone can be triggering because of so much false teaching, harm, hate and hypocrisy -- unlike the…

1
Answers to 4 Scary Questions That Non-Affirming Christians Ask 21:28

10M ago21:28

21:28

Many of you know how to respond to the accusations and arrows coming your way. We know the truth in our hearts, but we sometimes struggle on how to respond with the confidence and peace we have. And for some of us, these questions can be a real stumbling block, especially to those new on the journey of deconstructing or of living their authentic li…

1
Are We Just Taking the Easy Way Out? 23:55

10M ago23:55

23:55

Multiple times a day, we get attacked and accused - as parents & allies. And it does not even compare to what we hear from our gay and trans kids about what they go through. :-( One of the things we all hear a lot is that our ears are just being tickled, that we are cherry-picking verses, that we are rewriting the truth so that we can justify sin –…

1
Getting the Harmful Religious Crap Out of Our Heads 29:08

10M ago29:08

29:08

Every day, we hear from people who grew up in a church that teaches a conditional God who’ll drop you into hell – and if you end up there it’s your fault anyway. It’s like, you’re barely acceptable to God as it is, you lowly worm, but if you’re gay or trans or bisexual, you are basically sh*t out of luck! That’s what many people are taught, and it’…

1
Yeah, I'm All Good... Save Your Own Heart! 18:35

11M ago18:35

18:35

Anyone out there who has people who are trying to change them? Yeah. Some with good intentions, I guess. And some, let’s be honest, with bad intentions based on fear. So, how do we respond when someone reaches out to us to help us get "back on the path", "get back in God’s will", "get back on the straight (ha!) and narrow"?? Especially if it is som…

1
Just How Sick Has Toxic Religion Made Us? 33:06

11M ago33:06

33:06

When we were in the non-affirming evangelical church, we did not realize how toxic it was or how sick it was making us. When we opened the box we had God in, when we began to deconstruct those false teachings, we begin to see all the symptoms – our views, attitudes, lack of compassion, judgment. We came to understand how sick toxic religion had mad…

1
Did the Devil Really Make Me Do It?? 28:56

11M ago28:56

28:56

The false teachings about hell and the devil do serious damage to our hearts – especially those who have been rejected by the church for who they are, or for what they stand for. It IS the number one fear for people who are LGBTQ+ and come from Christianity. It IS the number one fear for people who are deconstructing their faith. "Oh crap, is the d…

1
A Parent's Desire to Change Their Children 19:23

11M ago19:23

19:23

I think we all know parents who want their child to change. Maybe you are that parent. A Mom or Dad of an LGBTQ+ child and you feel alone, and don’t know what to do. Thank you for loving your child enough to listen to this episode. You’re not alone, and perhaps this is the answer you’ve been praying for. Support the show…

1
If We Have Free Will, Can't We Choose NOT To Be Gay?? 25:27

11M ago25:27

25:27

Being straight… or being gay or lesbian or bisexual… or being transgender… or being queer, or intersex… is NOT a choice. It is who we are. It is how things are. It was never a choice to be a certain way, and it is not a choice, not an option to NOT to be that way. But we hear from parents who don’t understand, from people who do understand but don’…

1
Why Supporting the Trans Community is So Important! 21:59

12M ago21:59

21:59

The threat is growing from anti-transgender legislation that is being introduced and passed in various parts of the country. Many of these bills are targeting transgender youth and are attempting to limit their access to medical care. Beloved, the time is NOW to stand up and speak up in support of our transgender family and friends. Please share th…

1
100th Episode: Our Daughter-Saint Sinner-LIVE! 47:57

1y ago47:57

47:57

The music at the beginning and the end of every episode is the song "Calm Me Down" by our daughter Hannah, you may know her as Saint Sinner. She is a Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter, an incredible producer, an innovative creator as a DJ artist, and she is an all-around amazing, inspiring human being with a beautiful soul. This is our 100th episo…

1
Can We "Find God Again" After Deconstructing? 25:31

1y ago25:31

25:31

When you deconstruct your faith, sometimes people get afraid that they won’t be able to “find God again” – or Spirit, the Universe, God – however you define that. Why is that a challenge? Because old false religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in us, and we were taught to be terrified of anyone on the outside. And to be terrified of our own hea…

1
The Church is Broken and Can't Fix Itself 21:24

1y ago21:24

21:24

This is The Deconstruction Zone, where we help those of you who come from a nonaffirming, rules-based Christian past – with all the shame, guilt, wounds and trauma that go with that – deconstruct false religious beliefs. Deconstruct those lies about you, those you love, about God, about life – and reconstruct a spirituality that fits perfectly for …

1
8 Ways the Pop-Christian Gospel Damages Children 29:31

1y ago29:31

29:31

We hear the hate coming from the nonaffirming church about things like drag queen storytimes, transgender bathroom laws, and more… all disguised in the “we care about the children” lie! Disgusting and indefensible. Just to be clear – it has NOTHING to do with children. Kids are being used in a transparent attempt to hide hate and bigotry. Period. S…

1
A Parent's Crushing Regret 15:22

1y ago15:22

15:22

One of our most popular YouTube videos is called: A Pastor Looks Up in Tears. It is about a non-affirming pastor who is shocked at what he discovers about God, others, and himself when he gets to what the Bible calls Heaven. We have connected with tens of thousands of parents who have been pressured, and sometimes convinced by their church to rejec…

1
God is Not Mad at You and Never Has Been! 25:21

1y ago25:21

25:21

It breaks our hearts when people talk negatively about themselves. Most of the time, this is based on a belief that, at our core, we are probably a disappointment to God, that God is mad at us. We have talked about how the message of Jesus has been distorted and replaced with these false lies that you are broken, that you need saved. That is NOT fr…

1
Jesus is the Biggest Threat to Christianity! 24:50

1y ago24:50

24:50

Every day, we see the pain and betrayal inflicted in people’s lives from the rules-based, non-affirming Christian church. The devastating suffering of those who have been destroyed by their family and church rejecting them, condemning them—leading to depression, homelessness, substance abuse, and stunningly high suicide rates. Sickening. Indefensib…

1
An Open Letter to Family Who Reject Me. 16:25

1y ago16:25

16:25

So many of you listening have been on the receiving end of faith-based family rejection. Maybe because you are part of the LGBTQ+ community – maybe because you support and affirm someone who is – or maybe just because you are deconstructing from false religious beliefs. The truth is that this rejection has nothing to do with you and speaks volumes …

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Susan Cottrell, FreedHearts Podcasts

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