We are not the first podcast. OK? We start in Pooh Corner. Assume that half the world's population are going to disappear somehow. How could we adjust this event to make it as happy as possible? We should try to see such things in a positive light, after all. In case you are a magician or have an infinite glove or something similar, consider our ad…

We start after a long hiatus with an Urban Legend: sneezing while on the toilet increases poop removal volume by 30-60%, which can decrease the risk of bum and poop cancers. Aren't you glad you know this now? It's all about timing! We discuss what coarseness of pepper is best for provoking a bowel clearing sneeze. But what if you poop too much? The…

We hope you will enjoy listening to this episode! Back in the day, I guess. Nope, that doesn't really work, does it? T-Bone heard somewhere that birds can regenerate damaged hearing. It's not clear if we're talking about birds from rock concerts or those near other loud birds. But whatever the cause, it's quite cool they might give us clues for reg…

We have a new contest! This is "Who's That Bird: Celebrity Edition", in which Warren will play the sound of a celebrity and the rest of us need to guess who it is. The celebrity is probably not a bird, and may not even be making bird noises, but you'll have to listen to be sure. Warren patiently explains this multiple times, and even so we're not v…

In part 2 of our name 5 things series, we make slightly more progress in finding possible animal opponents that a human might be able to take on in a fight, assuming the opponent is human-sized. As noted in part 1, the question is fraught with complexity. You have to fight the organism in its own habitat, but you may be allowed time to put on boots…

After a whole episode of buildup (see Holy Straw, Batman), Warren finally gets the chance to introduce his new topic: name 5 animals, that if they were human-sized, you think you could take them. The rules of this strange fight club have you fighting in the organism's own habitat, so there are no freebies against whales even if you have three pillo…

Warren has a perfect comeback topic to get back into the swing of things after a long hiatus, but first a warm-up question: how many holes does a straw have? Are you sure? What about a donut? What about a person? As usual – wait, can we say as usual when we record every year or so? Yeah, whatever, as usual, we do a bit of rambling while counting ho…

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Ballpark Talk is back, due to its overwhelming previous success! Snorkelling vs. being a peeping tom. Same ballpark? Perspective matters here: who is peeping on whom? Warren makes a compelling case that some situations involve teammates. It probably makes sense, maybe? I don't know. We somehow end up discussing whether curtains should maybe be on t…

Normally, podcasts will edit out the part of a recording where the hosts decide what to do. But we roll a different way from normal podcasts, so you get a short and not terribly interesting behind-the-scenes look at Warren introducing the possibilities. Anyway, we start a new version of the 'Who's that bird?' contest, but in this case Warren will n…

We accidentally create a new segment to start this episode because we got caught up in whether our DJ was dead or his estate needed to spin the tunes. What is an estate? Do you need to have anything? What if you're dead? Does real estate imply you have an estate? What if the teddybear you get buried with was bequeathed to someone else? What if none…

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We have a new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. As usual, we explore many of the philosophical nuances here. What if it's a pet you know, versus a person you don't? What if the person died acciden…

Spotify wants us to have a trailer, so here you go. This is a shortened episode featuring a brand new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. Enjoy! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecut…

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This podcast was a rare occasion when most of us were in the same room. This means that the audio is generally exquisite since we are using T-Bone's studio, but also somewhat annoying because Warren insists on giving listeners cues of our eating and drinking. Do judges have their own gavels, or is one provided in the courtroom? What if someone brea…

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An oft-discussed but not previously resolved question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? We settle the matter, I guess, provided you don't care very much about the matter in the first place. Turns out the whole question turns on the secret, possibly offscreen shenanigans between Bruce and the security guard. If you can read between the scenes to imagi…

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Welcome back! Have you washed your hands? Either way, keep your soggy end out of the dip. Warren asks whether Timmy was right in suggesting that George from Seinfeld put his whole mouth in the tip. Remember the before-time, when this might have been a question? It's hard to imagine now, but at one stage it was somewhat defensible to dip near someon…

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The coronavirus lockdown worldwide has everyone adjusting to a new reality, including us. There are a lot of pressing issues, and we're not qualified to talk about any of those, so we thought we would solve some less-pressing problems. We start somewhat mysteriously with T-Bone mentioning how he recently entertained some higher-ups for a super-secr…

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For this episode, we revisit Inventions and Shit, our segment in which we present ideas of new inventions for free (mostly) in case any venture capitalists are listening. Warren's latest idea is a toilet water warmer, which, you may have guessed, warms the water in your toilet. There are several major benefits (or perhaps problems) depending on you…

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Having been stuck on Season 11 for a while, we skipped 12 and went straight to 13. Bad luck be damned! By the way, have you been eating salami wrong? Quite possibly. Anyway, this episode marks a return to our contest feature Nature Walk, Who's That Bird Non-Bird Edition, Round 5. How dramatic! For this contest, we have to listen to an audio clip of…