Send us a Text Message. Is "John Carter" really the worst science fiction movie ever made? Join us as Dan and Tony go head-to-head on this polarizing film from 2012, dissecting its categorization as a science fiction western adventure. We'll delve into Taylor Kitsch's lackluster performance and James Purefoy's standout role, while also tackling the…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered if you could turn a piece of paper into a whistle? We kick off our latest episode with a fun and quirky experiment that sets the stage for a comprehensive critique of the Marvel Universe, focusing on the Fox Marvel movies. From an in-depth look at "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" to a lively discussion about the upco…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered how a movie so absurd can become a cult classic? Celebrate our 200th episode with a side-splitting critique of the 1987 oddity, "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie." We’ll walk you through everything from holiday schedules to whimsical dream workweeks, providing a hilarious backdrop to our disbelief and amusement at t…

Send us a Text Message. Have you ever wondered what happens when a sequel tries too hard to replicate its predecessor's magic? Join us as we explore the curious case of "Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd" and dissect what went wrong in this prequel to a beloved comedy classic. Tony kicks off with the fascinating story behind why he chose this…

Send us a Text Message. What if a beloved character from your childhood suddenly felt like a stranger? Brace yourself as we unpack the enigma that is "Lightyear," the supposed origin story of Buzz Lightyear from "Toy Story." We'll dissect everything from the film's box office performance to its emotional resonance—or lack thereof—and illuminate the…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered what would happen if a mischievous kid tried to outsmart his ex-con dad with stolen money? Join us for a belated but heartwarming Father's Day special as we revisit the 1994 classic "Getting Even with Dad." We reminisce about Macaulay Culkin's rise to stardom post-"Home Alone" and explore Ted Danson's journey f…

Send us a Text Message. Why settle for lackluster sci-fi when there's a world of iconic classics? Join us as we tackle Netflix's latest misfire, "Atlas," starring Jennifer Lopez. Dan and Tony tear into the movie's chaotic plot and questionable character arcs, drawing sharp contrasts with masterpieces like "Aliens," where every detail serves a purpo…

Send us a Text Message. Could a clone ever truly understand who they are? Journey with us as we tackle the mind-bending complexities of "Gemini Man" and unravel the layers of this action-packed film. We start with a dose of humor, engaging in some playful banter about personal interests, from Dan's unexpected opinion on trains to Tony's quest for t…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered how you could create a hit game app without the annoyance of ads? Join us for a hilarious brainstorming session where we tackle that conundrum and somehow land on coining an unfortunate term, "HPV," for hybrid YouTube videos and podcasts. We then dive headfirst into the chaotic world of "Hitman: Agent 47," wher…

Send us a Text Message. Remember that time we got into a heated debate about Capicola ham and couldn't stop laughing? Well, buckle up because Purple Dan and Tie Dye Tony are back with another riotous review, this time taking on "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire" (2024). We kick off with some good-natured ribbing about our aging looks and quirky personal…

Send us a Text Message. Have you ever watched a movie so perplexing that you just had to talk about it? That's exactly what happened with Jerry Seinfeld's "Unfrosted," and we're serving up a full breakdown with a side of sarcasm. Join us, Dan and Tony, as we dissect the film's underbaked humor and the curious case of historical mascots in shoddy co…

Send us a Text Message. Ever find yourself shouting at the screen during an action flick because the characters' decisions defy all logic? Buckle up, as we, your audacious hosts Dan and Tony, peel back the layers of cinematic chaos in "A Good Day to Die Hard." We're not just here to poke fun at the excessive shaky cam or the monochromatic misery th…

Send us a Text Message. Ever found yourself laughing at a farmer's market mix-up one moment and then passionately debating the tactical blunders of action-packed blockbusters the next? Well, that's precisely where Tony and I landed in our latest gabfest, taking you from chuckles to critiques as we dissect the newest Hollywood hits and misses. We gi…

Send us a Text Message. Prepare for an epic clash of opinions as Dan and I tackle the cinematic spectacle that is "47 Ronin," with none other than Keanu Reeves leading the charge. This isn't your typical samurai tale; it's a whirlwind of fantasy, questionable character choices, and a wild Dogecoin gamble that's almost as fantastical as the film its…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wonder if a head-scratching film can actually be a prequel without telling you? This week, Dan and Tony tackle the circuitous storytelling of "In a Dark Place"​—yes, that adaptation of "A Turn of the Screw"—and wrestle with a climax that's more bewildering than a plot twist in a labyrinth. We're peering through the lens…

Send us a Text Message. Embark on a cinematic journey with Dan and Tony as we unravel the spectral tale of "The Turning," where confusion reigns supreme and ghostly encounters challenge the protagonist's grip on reality. As we dissect this adaptation entangled in the same web as Mike Flanagan's "The Haunting of Bly Manor," we're left scratching our…

Send us a Text Message. Ever found yourself questioning your movie-picking prowess after a particularly dreadful flick? Well, buckle up as Dan and Tony, your guides in the realm of regrettable comedies, tear into "Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star" with the kind of fervor reserved for fruitcake at a bake sale. Our episode isn't just about the cringe-…

Send us a Text Message. Prepare to be astonished as we, your intrepid hosts Dan and Tony, tear into "Madame Web" a superhero fiasco that plummeted from high expectations into the depths of cinematic despair. We're not holding back—even Dakota Johnson's furrowed brow couldn't mask the confusion of her character's rage or save the tangled mess of a p…

Send us a Text Message. Get set for a rollercoaster of laughs and head-scratching moments as we pull apart the 2011 movie "Green Hornet." It's Dan and Tony here, ready to serve up a steaming helping of movie critique with a side of snark. We'll navigate through Seth Rogen's unexpected superhero antics and the film's peculiar choices, overlaying our…

Send us a Text Message. Strap in, folks, because we're peeling out on a cinematic odyssey that may just shift your perspective on those so-called "flops" rattling around Tinseltown. Remember "Monster Trucks"? That's where we're kicking things off, but brace yourself—it's not the takedown you'd expect. We're mounting a spirited defense of this under…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered what happens when superhero antics collide with real-world issues like climate change? Join us as we go beyond the surface of "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom," where we offer our frank take on the sequel's whirlpool of politics, character arcs, and a tidal wave of CGI action. We're not just critiquing; we're laug…

Send us a Text Message. Could "The Legend of Tarzan" possibly swing any further from the tree of its classic source material? That's the vine Dan and Tony are shaking this week as we unpack the jungle of issues plaguing this cinematic misadventure. Join us for a romp through the tangled underbrush of this film's narrative missteps, from Tarzan's qu…

Send us a Text Message. Prepare to be whisked away to the year 2024, not for flying cars or robot butlers, but for a cinematic autopsy of "Highlander 2: The Quickening," a sequel that baffles and bewilders. We, your always-curious hosts, embark on a roller coaster of emotions as we dissect the ins and outs of this notorious film, exploring its wild…

Send us a Text Message. Buckle up for a journey that defies gravity—and credibility—as Dan and Tony recount a chaotic New York escapade and dive into the seismic sci-fi adventure, "The Core." We crack open the debate on whether scientific plausibility should trump imaginative storytelling in films like these, and celebrate the genre for spotlightin…

Send us a Text Message. Hey film fanatics, Dan and Tony here to serve up a piping hot dish of cinematic critique with a side of podcast confessional. Ever watched a movie so puzzling it turned your popcorn stale? That was us wrestling with the identity crisis that is John Cena's "Freelance." From Cena's stoic facade to the antagonist's scene-steali…

Send us a Text Message. Ever felt baffled by a movie's choices in plot and character development? Prepare to unravel "The Predator" (2018) with Dan and Tony, as we dissect its confusing narrative and laughable inconsistencies. Join us for an episode brimming with critique and humor, where we not only question the scientist-turned-action-hero trope …

Send us a Text Message. Could the X-Men have stood a chance against the cinematic juggernaut that is "Avengers: Endgame"? We're closing out our series on the X-Men reboot with a fiery critique of "X-Men: Dark Phoenix," diving into its untimely release and how it may have contributed to its box office downfall. As we bid farewell to the franchise, w…

Send us a Text Message. Ever felt like a movie left you dangling on the edge of confusion while simultaneously reeling you back in with its captivating absurdity? That's the emotional tightrope we walk in our latest chat, where my co-host Tony and I peel back the layers of "Beau is Afraid" with the precision of surgeons... or maybe just two film bu…

Send us a Text Message. Stranded in the depths of Tony's parents' basement, his bout with a potential COVID case has led to an unexpected Christmas Eve: donning festive attire, Tony and Dan swap holiday traditions and take on the laughably bad "Santa with Muscles." It's a merry mash-up of personal anecdotes and a thorough dissection of a film that'…

Send us a Text Message. Dan and Tony, dive headfirst into the holiday movie madness. We're dishing out our unfiltered thoughts on Eddie Murphy's "Candy Cane Lane" and the face-palm-worthy "The Family Switch" while inviting you to join us in the joy of critiquing the festive season's cinematic offerings. Who knew that soda could have a starring role…

Send us a Text Message. Ready to dive headfirst into the questionable science, outrageous plot points, and moral dilemmas of "Replicas"? Buckle up, because Tony and Dan are about to take you on a wild ride through this hilariously entertaining yet absurdly illogical 2019 flick. From eye-stabbing injections to cloned family members, we leave no ston…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wonder what goes into creating a comedy film? Or why some jokes land while others falter? Strap in folks, as we dissect the world of comedy films in our latest podcast episode, where no movie is safe from our critique! We kick off the conversation with the comedy movie "Please Don't Destroy: The Legend of Foggy Mountain…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wonder why some films just don't quite hit the mark? Or how Michael Bay's unique directing style, a blend of chaos and spectacle, influences the stories he tells? Buckle in as we, your hosts Tony and Dan, dissect and delve into the whirlwind world of Bay's 2019 blockbuster, "Six Underground". From its over-the-top actio…

Send us a Text Message. Are you ready for an unfiltered, humor-filled critique of the infamous "The Emoji Movie"? If you've ever been confused or just downright frustrated by this film's inconsistencies and absurd plot, you're not alone. Together, we, Dan and Tony, pull apart this animated disaster, questioning the logic behind its storyline, chara…

Send us a Text Message. Welcome aboard another thrilling rollercoaster as we, your hosts Dan and Tony, take on the exciting and eerie world of horror movie adaptations in this episode of "Hate Watching". Buckle up as we navigate through the labyrinth of the much-awaited adaptation of the popular video game series "Five Nights at Freddy's". We'll sc…

Send us a Text Message. Can Chris Hemsworth convincingly play a hacker, and what's with those accents? We're getting to the heart of these questions and more as we dissect the 2015 film, "Black Hat." From the technicalities of hacking to character development, we're leaving no frame unturned in our spirited discussion. You'll laugh, you'll ponder, …

Send us a Text Message. Have you ever wondered what happens when a sequel doesn't quite live up to the hype of its predecessor? Well, brace yourself as we venture into the peculiarities of the 2000 movie 'Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2'. We dissect the director’s cut versus the studio’s version, unravel the unique idea that the movie was intended a…

Send us a Text Message. Ready to get your summer movie fix? Brace yourselves as we dissect our movie predictions and pit them against actual audience scores on Rotten Tomatoes. Expect the unexpected as we unpack the surprises and disappointments from the summer's biggest hits and misses. From the breakout success of Gran Turismo to the disappointin…

Send us a Text Message. Ready to embark on a specter-hunting journey across the Ghostbusters franchise, with a spotlight on the 2021 reboot? Brace yourselves as we dissect the eerie world of Ghostbusters, from the 1984 original to the recent reboot, examining the critical role of Dan Ackroyd, the intriguing plot, and the fabulous characters. Listen…

Send us a Text Message. Ever had that moment when you're halfway through a movie, and you can't help but wonder, "What on earth is happening?" Strap in for a wild ride, because that's exactly how we felt about the 2023 Haunted Mansion reboot. We're pulling no punches in this episode as we dissect the perplexing product placements, the bizarre casti…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered what could possibly make someone love the 2003 movie adaptation of the Sega classic video game, House of the Dead? What if we told you we've cracked the code? Buckle up as we comically dissect this horror film, taking it apart scene by scene. From its poor pacing, to the peculiar directorial style choices, we e…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered why Eddie Murphy's Haunted Mansion felt more like a kid's movie than a rollicking horror-comedy? Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride down memory lane as we dissect this Halloween anti-classic, and uncover hidden layers you might have missed. We start off by talking about the struggle of early mornings, befo…

Send us a Text Message. Today I'm letting Merlin take control. And by Merlin, I mean AI. Ai wrote the rest of this episode description and I'm too lazy to change a word. Thanks AI! Imagine stepping into a world where the iconic King Arthur and his legendary sword Excalibur take center stage. This episode, we're unearthing the secrets of the 2017 fi…

Send us a Text Message. Ready for a good chuckle? Buckle up as we hop into the chaotic and ridiculous world of the 2004 film "Taxi". With Queen Latifah’s flashy jewelry and Jimmy Fallon's precarious bed positioning, we're peeling away the layers of its hit or miss humor, intriguing plotlines, and head-scratching cinematography. Wondering how a tran…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered what makes a comedy movie tick? Could it be the jokes, the plot, or the characters? In a roller-coaster of an episode, we pull back the curtain on 'The Machine' starring Bert McRusher...Bert McRacken...Bert....We'll stick with Bert. We don't just skim the surface, we dig deep, discussing everything from the mis…

Send us a Text Message. Well, strap in folks. This one's almost two hours. Are you ready to rediscover the 2007 not-so-classic, 'Wild Hogs,' and ready to laugh out loud? Don't miss out as we go beyond the ridiculous camping scene and the offensive humor to dissect the controversial moments and hilarious antics of John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H…

Send us a Text Message. Do you want to time travel back to the era of Elvis Presley, the undisputed 'King of Rock 'n' Roll', and take a deep dive into his filmography? Buckle up! We promise a roller-coaster ride, exploring classics such as 'Kissing Cousins', 'Tickle Me', and 'Viva Las Vegas'. We'll scrutinize sound mixing, dissect plot lines, and r…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered what the 80s looked like? Prepare to be transported back in time as we dissect the 1985 cult classic, "Perfect," featuring the remarkable John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis. We're serving up a dose of nostalgia, from the memorable hairstyles to aerobics classes, all laced with a peculiar humor that only the 80s…

Send us a Text Message. Ever wondered how Hollywood uses blockbuster actors to reel in money? Well, this is the episode for you! Join your hosts, Dan and Tony, as we ridicule and dissect the 2014 movie, The Legend of Hercules, starring Kellen Lutz. We scrutinize everything from illogical plot holes to lackluster character development, and we don't …

Send us a Text Message. Brace yourselves, folks! We're rounding off our Twilight saga journey with a lively chat about the finale - Breaking Dawn Part 2. We question the logic behind stretching the thinnest book into two films, chuckle at the at-times questionable special effects, and puzzle over Alice's unchanging hairdo. We've coined a new term, …