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Dilek (Di) is an experienced Psychologist and Couples Therapist and Alex is...not. They are a couple who are building a consciously mindful relationship and who love to discuss the ups and downs of relationships with episodes about effective communication, having a fair fight and how to reduce the drama in your life. This podcast is not only for couples searching for ideas to enhance their relationship but also for single people seeking to establish a meaningful relationship. Di and Alex als ...
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Alex's episode and Di interviews him •How to keep the romance alive beyond the honeymoon period •Love languages: •Acts of service •Acts of touch •Quality time •Gifts •Words of Affirmation •Who is responsible for romance? •Micro-romance •text messages •compliments •gratitudeBy Dilek Yucel & Alex Kain
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Do you use up all of your energy in meeting your partner's needs? Do you feel trapped in your relationship? Are you the one that is constantly making sacrifices? Then you just may be in a co-dependent relationship.Co-dependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immat…
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A relationship break up is one of the more stressful life events anyone could go through but sometimes its just plain necessary.Sign #1: A loss of the Us-ness •Do they tell the 'story of us' in positive playful way keeping irritability and emotional distance in the closet. •When negativity takes over its hard to remember the good times. Sign #2: We…
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•In any monogamous intimate relationship there are often people and things that can interfere in the strong connection between two people and become the third 'member' of the relationship. Instead of a strong bond or connection the relationship is diluted by this third entity. The energy that you need to put into the us of the relationship is share…
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OverviewMenopause is the time that marks the end of your menstrual cycles. It's diagnosed after you've gone 12 months without a menstrual period. Menopause can happen in your 40s or 50s, but the average age is 51 in the United States. Menopause is a natural biological process. But the physical symptoms, such as hot flashes, and emotional symptoms o…
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Intro: Is it ever ok to tell a lie? What is the impact of lies and secrets on our relationships and how do you recognise a lie when its disguised as something else? •The different types of lies you can tell •Is it ever ok to tell a lie? White lie. •What's the impact of secrets and lies on a relationship •How do you deal with lies when they show up.…
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Intro: Are there times when you feel anxious, worried or stressed and don't know how to help yourself feel better? Or does your partner have similar anxious episodes and you're at a loss as to how to support them? Anxiety: A feeling of apprehension and fear, characterized by physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, sweating, and feelings of st…
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It's always ok to not feel ok but right now during COVID-19 it's especially ok to not feel ok. •It's ok to not feel ok: Feeling of uncertainty and lack of control. In a time of little control, find something you do have control over and control the heck out of it! Like organising your closet or the pantry. It can be very grounding and give you a se…
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After a break of almost 2 years, we're back! What have we been up to?Are we still together?Has Alex improved his dad jokes? Join us as we catch up on what has been happening as we begin season 2.By Dilek Yucel & Alex Kain
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In this episode Di interviews Alex about that time of the year where there are family events and gatherings and what can you do if there is bad blood or tension between you and a family member. We also reflect on our 1st year of 16 episodes of The DNA of Mindful Relationships and thank our listeners for their feedback and look forward to a new year…
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What is sexual intimacy? Sex is an act shared between you and your spouse that feels great and brings you closer. Intimacy is a close emotional bond between you and a partner. Bring the two together and you have a deep connection that will strengthen your marriage. Being intimate means more than just getting physical with your partner. Having sexua…
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What is intimacy? The concept of intimacy involves a mutually consensual relationship where two individuals reciprocate feelings of trust, emotional and physical closeness toward each other. The 4 main types of intimacy include: 1. Intellectual intimacyAre you both on the same wavelength? Do you "get" each other? Can you talk 'til all hours of the …
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Let's talk about getting relationship fit. We get fit and healthy for summer or we get a service or tune up for our cars. Why don't we place as much effort and care into getting ready for a relationship as we do with other things in life? 1. Know what you want and what you don't want: •make a list of what your future partner's values would be •Fami…
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Dr Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages in 1995. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way …
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In this episode, Di and Alex explore the difference between different styles of communication including Assertiveness, Passiveness and Aggressive behaviour and how some people confuse aggression for assertion. Di states that the main aim of effective communication is to create a win-win situation to get what you want without walking all over the ot…
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Holidays are meant to be a time of fun and unwinding but sometimes travelling with your partner can cause stress from being out of your normal routine and having to make decisions on things such as what to see and do. In this episode Di & Alex discuss practical tips for achieving a win-win when away, all from the back seat of a taxi in Indonesia.…
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Di and Alex explore the two worlds of Mars and Venus and men and women. They discuss how females are great multi-taskers, while men excel in highly task-focused projects. They also share the notion that men's deepest fear is about being incompetent and not good enough whereas women can be unconsciously afraid of being worthy of love. Di brings up M…
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Di and Alex discuss what Mindfulness is and how it can help us in our relationships. When we practice mindfulness on a daily basis, we develop an awareness that helps us stay in the present moment with our partners which in turn makes it easier to deal with issues as they arise without getting tangled up in past emotions and future worries.…
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Attachment styles are patterns of intimacy developed in our formative years that may have an impact on future relationships. Di shares with Alex the model developed by Stan Tatkin to simplify attachment theory using the metaphor of waves, islands and anchors, from his book, "Wired for Love." Waves have an up and down style where they want to be clo…
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How do you know when it's time to seek outside help for your relationship? Di and Alex explore the triggers to identify when to look outside of your relationship for advice, how to find that professional help and how to know if they are a good therapist. They discuss the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor and life coach and…
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The first rule of fight club is...don't talk about fight club. Well, Di & Alex discuss the importance of actually talking about how you both respond to differences and react to conflict. Di discusses 10 tips and agreements for having a fair fight: •Take time to reflect on your own feelings about the issue. •Ask your partner if now is a good time to…
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Di and Alex explore whether it is necessary to have a lot of things in common to have a successful loving relationship. Di compares interests in common with values in common and concludes that it is more important to have similar values like beliefs about family, culture, religion, money etc... than to have interests in common. Di talks about the b…
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In this episode, Di introduces Transactional Analysis, a model of social interaction from the 1950's and the Drama Triangle created by Stephen Karpman in the 1960's. They discuss the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer and how people can rotate through these roles as they get drawn into the drama. They also discuss the Winners triangle created…
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Ep. 02: Shut Up & Talk To Me Di & Alex talk about the importance of communication is in a relationship. Di starts with going over the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse again as she had forgotten the fourth one: Criticism, Stonewalling, Contempt and Defensiveness.They discuss using the strategies of mirroring, reflective listening, checking in and asking…
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Ep. 01: To Be or Not To Be...Perfect Di and Alex discuss the possibility of creating the perfect relationship. Is it possible? Perfection is difficult to achieve but creating a healthy, loving, kind and compassionate relationship is highly possible and achievable.Di talks about John Gottmans research into couples stated that he found that there are…
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Introduction to The DNA of Mindful Relationships
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Who is DNA and why are we doing this show?By Dilek Yucel & Alex Kain
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