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The Modern Day Romantic

Dr. Andrea Stover, LMFT

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Welcome to The Modern Day Romantic Podcast! I'm your host, Dr. Andrea Stover, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. This podcast is a space for all who identify as Romantics wanting to learn more about the unique challenges our current times bring to the idea of romantic love relationships. By focusing on how being a romantic can actually be a part of one's own identity and personality structure, I hope to offer insight into ways for Romantics to continue to grow and develop themselves. I do ...
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In this week's episode, I interview Crista Beck. Crista is known as "The Love Radar" and has been featured on ABC, NBC, FOX, and TEDx. She is the author of the Amazon bestselling book, Break The Glass Slipper: Free Yourself from Fairy Tale Fantasies and Find True Love in Real Life. Her message has been heard by over a million people globally. With …
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In this episode, I interview soulmate couple Mark and Janice. Both Mark and Janice have had a number of paranormal experiences throughout the course of their lives, and their mutual fascination with the paranormal led to their eventual meeting of one another. Mark wrote a book related to paranormal experiences, and Janice first heard Mark on Jim Ha…
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In this episode I interview Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship expert. We discuss several topics related to neurodiverse couples and relationships, including common communication breakdowns, patterns of codependency, and ways to work towards mutual understanding and respect in neurodiverse marriages. Jodi has over 20 years of experience in h…
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In this episode, I offer several points of reflection for anyone wondering if they are with the wrong partner. I address several experiences such as: being in a loveless marriage, relationship-ending betrayals, abusive relationships, and the importance of knowing what your non-negotiables are in a partnership. Ultimately, if you are asking this que…
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Cathleen Miller is a top leading internationally acclaimed intuitive. She has conducted thousands of sessions in every state in the U.S., as well as in over 15 international countries since 2001. Her work guides clients into their own empowered energy intelligence. In this episode, Cathleen and I discuss spirituality, relationships, past lives, sou…
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In this episode, I interview soulmate couple Chris and Vanessa. Together, they share their journey from meeting to being married for 10+ years thus far. They offer many insights into how love and relationships can evolve through time. Chris experienced love at first sight with Vanessa and talks about what this was like for him, and Vanessa shares h…
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In this episode, I discuss the concept of vampire relationships, which are characterized by a strong early survival instinct, the need for relationship in order to survive, and a deep, primal fear of abandonment. I explain how this instinct is wired in our brains from infancy and how it can affect our adult relationships if early development gets t…
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In this episode, I delve into the intricate process of when relationships begin and when they come to an end. I discuss the importance of inner subjective realities, rather than simply relying on when couples have "the conversation" to be exclusive or decide to end their relationship by a declaration of some sort. I emphasize the various stages of …
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In this episode, I discuss the different valences of Venus in each zodiac sign and how these affect how we personally define love, beauty, and relationships. I provide insights into the potential unique qualities and preferences of individuals with Venus in different signs. By exploring Venus through a psychological astrology perspective, I encoura…
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In this episode, I discuss the significance of Valentine's Day and explore different perspectives on the holiday. I delve into the cultural and societal aspects of Valentine's Day, the commercialization of romantic love, and the psychological impact it can have on individuals. I also offer suggestions on how to approach the holiday in a more meanin…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of twin flames, which is characterized as an intense and profound soulmate connection. I discuss the differences between twin flame relationships and other relationships, highlighting the spiritual and transformative aspects of twin flames. I also explore the challenges and vulnerabilities that come with se…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of transactional relationships. I discuss the difference between "I-it" and "I-Thou" ways of relating, according to philosopher Martin Buber, where one objectifies the other while the other offers a deeper connection based on empathy and curiosity. I explore how this applies to romantic relationships and ma…
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In this episode, I discuss the common phenomenon of roommate relationships within romantic partnerships. I explore the reasons why couples may find themselves in this situation and the emotional implications it can have. I also provide insights on how to revive the relationship and navigate the complexities of co-parenting. I discuss a new model fo…
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In this episode, I discuss six reasons why romantic grand gestures can sometimes fall flat in relationships. Often times real life attempts to swoon our beloved doesn't quite pan out like they do in romantic comedies or the movies. I explore possible explanations for this, including the potential for mismatched love languages, the "too little too l…
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In this episode, I delve into the allure of Hallmark Christmas movies and why they captivate Romantics. These movies transport us to a world of romance and nostalgia, where love is celebrated amidst the holiday spirit. I explore how these films provide a reprieve from stress and offer a sense of hope and possibility. Additionally, I discuss the the…
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In this final episode of our four-part series on Love at First Sight, I delve into the common thread of consciousness and the power of the unconscious that connects different theories on this phenomenon. I share personal experiences and insights, emphasizing that Love at First Sight doesn't always lead to a lifelong connection. Active participation…
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In this episode, I discuss the concept of precognition as a potential explanation for love at first sight. I share personal examples of precognitive dreams and visions that foreshadowed the arrival of someone into my own life in two separate occurrences. I explore how these experiences can create a sense of familiarity, anticipation, and perceived …
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of individuation and its connection to love at first sight. Individuation refers to the journey of self-realization and reaching a state of self-actualization in relation to the world. I discuss how individuation involves establishing a sense of self and then grappling with the shadow, exploring the inner f…
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This episode is the first in a series on love at first sight. In it, I explore reincarnation as one possible explanation for the phenomenon. I cite a few American scholars and thought leaders on the topic to encourage listeners to reflect on their own resonance (or lack thereof) on this as being a potential reason for why people experience feeling …
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In this episode, I explore how our birth stories shape and influence our personality. I weave in some psychological astrology and point to the rising sign as one symbol of how we approach new beginnings in our lives. Reflecting on your birth story can bring about deeper insights into why you are how you are or what your body might be holding onto f…
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I'm excited to bring a new series to the podcast called Conscious Couples Corner! I will be interviewing real couples and discussing their relationship, as well as how they have grown and developed their Inner Romantics through time. This week I talk with Joshua and Amy, two very special souls who have found each other and put a lot of work into gr…
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In this episode, I interview Dorena Kohrs, better known as the Space Doula®. She has spent nearly two decades exploring the fusion of feng shui, space clearing and intuitive coaching to shift momentum in people’s lives. She serves her clients by offering soulful practices to get unstuck and out of mediocrity by using their homes to unlock their lim…
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In this Halloween-themed episode, I explore the concept of "ghosts" from our previous partners by presenting five different ghost-like characters from films and TV shows. Each ghost I present represents a different aspect of our lives and relationships, such as unresolved trauma, lost love, and the fear of moving on. Through these examples, I discu…
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In this episode, I discuss how coincidences with our partner can be exciting ways to feel a special connection with them. However, I go into the differences between sharing in coincidences from our life stories and being compatible with our partner. I emphasize the importance of compatibility between partners and discuss how couples with high level…
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In this episode, I explore the question of "Should I stay or should I go?" I present three common scenarios people find themselves in when asking this question: 1. when you feel like your needs will never be met by your partner, 2. when a betrayal has occurred, and 3. when you are no longer in love with your partner. Through each of these examples,…
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In this episode, I discuss the concept of happy endings and how they can impact our perceptions and expectations of reality. I discuss how consuming media and stories with overly simplistic happy endings can set us up for greater suffering in the long run, while also providing some positive potentials available through the consumption of these plot…
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In this episode, I discuss the phenomenon of falling for someone who turns out to be completely different from who we thought they were. I explore the pain and devastation that can come from this experience, especially for Romantics. I also touch on the importance of discernment and making informed decisions when progressing a relationship forward.…
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In this episode, I discuss the concept of narcissism and its impact on relationships. I explore the idea that narcissism exists on a spectrum, with both high and low levels having potential challenges. I emphasize the importance of finding a balance between self-focus and consideration for others. Throughout the episode, I provide examples and insi…
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In this episode, I discuss the importance of relationships and the concept of the comfort trap. I share my experiences with clients and observations of relationships, emphasizing the need for a healthy model and conflict resolution skills. I highlight the anxiety that arises when initial hurts occur and the tendency to seek comfort and security. I …
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In this episode, I discuss the concept of partnering with yourself and the importance of finding a balance between individuality and being in a relationship with others. I explore the idea of marrying oneself and the need to know oneself in order to grow and develop personally. I emphasize the significance of spending quality time alone and engagin…
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In this episode, I explore the concept of being nice and whether it is truly a virtue or a vice. I discuss the societal expectations of niceness and how it can sometimes be superficial and fake. I also delve into the idea that being too nice can lead to a lack of authenticity and self-expression, which can be detrimental to both ourselves and our r…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of "the one that got away" in romantic relationships. I approach it with curiosity, asking questions rather than providing definitive answers because it can mean different things to different people. Nostalgia plays a significant role in this phenomenon, taking us back to a younger version of ourselves. I d…
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In this episode, I dive into the topic of psychological astrology and how it can help us understand ourselves as unique individuals. I clarify that psychological astrology is not about fortune-telling or determinism, but rather about exploring the correlation between planetary positions and our experiences. I emphasize the importance of self-knowle…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of love and its various experiences. I discuss seven levels of love, starting from the instinctual need for security to the transcendent state of oneness. I encourage viewers to reflect on their own definition of love and how it evolves over time. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and share your ins…
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In this episode, I delve into the neurobiological topic of pair bonding. I discuss how pair bonding is a core component of romantic relationships and how it is a natural instinct within the brain. I also explore the role of oxytocin and dopamine in the pair bonding process, highlighting how it brings pleasure and a sense of ease. Additionally, I to…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of synchronicity and its relevance to romantic relationships. I define synchronicity and differentiate it from serendipity, emphasizing the importance of understanding its true nature. By providing examples, I explore how synchronicities can shape our perceptions and expectations in relationships. I highlig…
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In this episode, I explore the phenomenon of heartbreak and the complexity of healing a broken heart. Is going through heartbreak a rite of passage, and if so, what is needed in order to successfully navigate this? I discuss the importance of relating with others whose hearts are online and available in the healing process, as well as the implicati…
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In this episode I'm going to share with you the ABCs of bad beginnings in relationships. My intention is to provide you with a list of things to self-reflect on, whether you're currently in a relationship, looking for one, or reflecting on a past one. It's important to take responsibility for yourself and what you bring into the relational sphere. …
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In the inaugural episode of the Modern Day Romantic podcast, Andrea dives into the meaning and complexities of being a romantic in the modern world. A romantic, to me, embodies hope, beauty, love, and a meaningfulness to experiences, particularly in romantic relationships. We highlight the qualities of a romantic, such as naivete, optimism, enthusi…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of boundaries, taking a unique perspective inspired by Ernest Hartman's work on dreamers and their reported experiences. I discuss the spectrum of thick and thin boundaries, exploring how it relates to being a romantic and the potential risks and growth challenges associated with each. I also touch on the i…
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In this episode, I delve into the concept of the "substitute" in relationships. I explore how our early experiences with parents and caretakers shape our expectations and desires in romantic relationships. I discuss the unconscious tendency to seek substitutes for certain qualities or roles, and how this can hinder genuine connection. I also touch …
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