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Astrology Roast

Etai Ben Simhon

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Astrology. Pop culture. LGBTIQ. Love, and heartbreak. Your hosts Keren (Gemini) and Etai (Aries), just like every Jennifer Lopez movie character, are trying to make ends meet while staying authentic and looking great in a tracksuit. Join us on this astrological journey.
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Hi everyone!!! Hope you are surviving this retrograde... In times of need and despair, we look up to the wise Aquarius, Oprah. This episode we are trying to figure out how to keep the spark alive using Oprah's tips. Are they helpful? mmm...... We also try to figure out what the fuck is happening with Jlo and Ben - double Leo, can it work 18 years l…
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Did you hear about Eris? She is the sister planet of Mars, and she is not playing around. This week we spoke about how society treats the Eris women in our lives, and why they are so important. We also came up with a genius plan (if we say so ourselves) of how to fix all the problems in the world. (spoiler: it has to do with the Mean Girls screenpl…
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Hi everyone! Cancer Season is here! We decided to ditch the questions on focus on things that are more important, like how to get your grandma off your back when she asks you about when are you going to get married but you are actually a lesbian but you don't want to come out. We also talk about how to control your ex's narrative, we pull out some …
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IT'S OUR 2ND BIRTHDAY! Against the odds, and Aries and a Gemini kept a podcast alive for 2 years now. Who would've thought. Anyway, we made a sweet birthday episode, talking about some of the most iconic characters and star signs who were a part of these two years, where are they now? Tune in to find out. We talked a little bit about the meaning of…
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This episode we are talking about the H word. Hope. If you heard more than one episode of this podcast you know it isn't a topic we are so good at, but we sure did try our best. Obviously our way of talking about hope was through Britney burning her gym down as well as classic Hollywood movies such as Erin Brockovich and Coyote Ugly. We manage talk…
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So this week there is still a world pandemic so we decided to address the elephant in the room and talk about a topic we know very well - grief! What are we grieving for? and where are we on the staged of grief? But obviously we can't be just serious, so we talk about the Scorpio from Instagram, the loss of a mirror, and some other stuff. This epis…
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We tried to imagine what the world after corona virus looks like, and would the star signs be happy with it. Turns out we are privileged dicks and we apologize in advance. Tune in to this one to hear about Adidas branded masks, Zoom Passovers, keep cups and some self compassion. Sending love and health wishes to everyone xx…
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Another day another retrograde. Could a retrograde be a positive thing? if running into your ex, his wife and their two children is positive, then yes. Some side effect of the retrograde might be making up a fake roommate named Brett. Also, we tried to record this episode 3 times!!! if that doesn't prove that Astrology is real, we really don't know…
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This week we are interviewing Colin Bedell, a queer astrologer, author, Gemini stellium, Britney fan and overall a super smart and funny person we we're so luck to have on the podcast. We spoke about Britney's foot, the epidemic of loneliness, why Geminis should get a better reputation and the relationship the queer community has with Astrology. Ch…
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This is what dreams are made of. We got a chance to interview our absolute favourite Astrologer who is a huge part of our astrological journey and one of the biggest inspirations for us to start this podcast - Nadiya Shah. We has an incredible conversation with her, talking about some of the most burning questions in the astromeme world. Are cusps …
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Sagittarius season came and gone, and we are here to sum it up and look forward to Capricorn season. Also, we took time to answer the question which was raised many many episodes ago, is flirting cheating? a Libra would probably say no, but is there an objective truth? We definitely discussed other topics, but who can tell which. Anyway, off to set…
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SCORPIO SEASON IS HERE!!! It's been a year (obviously) since last Scorpio season, and here we are again. Sexual and vengeful than ever. Keren is now mingling with Astrology Roast listeners in Buenos Aires (shout out Morita) while Etai is visiting witches in Tel Aviv. Add to that Scorpio season and an upcoming Mercury retrograde, and you got one hel…
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If you thought we would let a new Jennifer Lopez film pass us by without making a special episode... do you even know us? Well, Hustlers the movie has been out for a while and we got stuff to say. What are the star signs of each character? Why is Julia Stiles in it? Is Nicole Kidman Michael Jackson? Can Constance Wu dance? Can you start over after …
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It's Virgo month bitches! Please excuse the background noises. We really should have kept them for a different month in which people pay less attention to detail like... gemini? Anyway - join in to hear us discuss the BDSM test and how it connects to our charts! We also talk about the hottest Virgos, the funniest Virgos... and not even one word abo…
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Hi everyone! It's only been two weeks but we miss you all CONSTANTLY. This episdoe was recorded at the peak of Mercury Retrograde so as always - we apologize in advance. Tune in to this one to hear about which star sign is connected to which body part. Who has beautiful voices? Who owns the sexual organs? (you already know the answer to that one). …
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This week we have a pre-recorded episode with our amazing guests all the way from Sydney! Kitty (Taurus) and Ally (Pisces) who you might recognize from our famous Daddy Issues and The Big Roast episodes. Kitty is an amazing Tarot reader, and she is here to serve us all the tea. Ally is a wise Pisces who serves tops the tea up. Can you manipulate yo…
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Holy fucking shit if you look up in the sky everything seems normal but actually shit is going DOWN! We have Cancer season, Mercury retro, eclipses and what not. But we're still here, showing up and doing our best to keep money safe, and have our daily coffee. We also discuss the 5 love languages, and maybe some hate languages as well? as we often …
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We have a brand new fresh outta the oven episode for you!!! With the help of the miracle that is called the Internt, we managed to record our first overseas episode of Astrology Roast! We are talking about Gemini season which is hitting us all like a slap in the face, Keren many many Gemini jobs, we also talk about fragile masculinity, Eurovision a…
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What is the connection between the bible and Astrology? Nicki (Libra) is here to try and help us understand. This week we explore the representation of Lilith, her story and her role in people's charts. She is a boss ass bitch and it's super interesting. Also, what's the deal with women in the bible. And is god a Leo? Was king David gay? Was Jesus …
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Our couch is gone. Our beautiful comforting Leo couch has been taken by a hipster couple. This week on Astrology Roast we are talking about grief, and the different stages it can manifest in life. Later this week Etai (Aries) is leaving Australia after nearly 4 years, and our way of dealing with it is of course, talking about it. We are taking a tr…
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Targeted ads, Netflix, google, Instagram, Bitcoin, technology and the internet (ruled by Mercury) are an integral part of our lives. Good or bad? depends who you ask. We actually love it, and can't wait for the government to take our finger prints and steal our identities. The meme world is celebrating fictional characters and assign them with star…
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As promised, we tried to find ourselves in a nudity-optional festival on a Libra full moon, and boy did we find ourselves. We definitely found something. Keren (Gemini) is investing in bitcoin these days! Tune in this week as we explore the themes of fake consent, stepping outside of your comfort zone, weird workshops, and of course - ANXIETY!…
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Happy Easter and Pesach Sameach everyone! Holidays, fun and relaxing as they may be, can sometimes also induce some anxiety. Especially ones which require hanging out with your family or singing songs about how someone is trying to kill us every year, like the Jewish holiday Passover. However, we are here to break it down, while answering some hard…
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