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A silly goofy deep dive podcast about the Twilight Saga hosted by Jenna Vesper aka that one twihard friend in your life that you are basically legally required to send any and all Twilight memes to. Follow me on insta @supermassivetwilighthole Art by Ella Talkin Music by DP Snacks
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Date Card

So Below Media

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Each week, queer comedians Jenna Vesper and Danika McClure recap The Bachelor franchise, curse a lot, and sometimes talk about teeth. Follow our podcast page for memes @datecardpod, and our personal accounts @jennawithasmile & @drunkfeminist Email inquiries to datecardthepodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @datecardpodcast Producer: Andrew Olsen @andr0ne Art: Mikaela Jane mikaela-jane.com Music: Jed Overly https://www.flowcode.com/page/jeddyjames Proud podcast of So Below Media #bachelor #bachelorett ...
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In this off season episode I'm joined by Shannon who, like me and Taylor, is also a member of The Tortured Poets Department. Which if you're confused about what that means, it just means we're traumatized gays with some mental illness. Together we try to spread the gospel of the alleged secondary layer of both albums...and oops it's almost two hour…
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I don't think any of us saw this season and what it would bring coming. But it came for us regardless. The highs, the lows, the twists, the expected, and everything in between. We did it together. And to help celebrate that I was stoked to bookend the season with Shannon from Do The Roses Align. Together we talk about the finale, the edits, the gir…
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As is tradition we must gather all the ex's in one room and let the tension rise to the point of tears. But luckily there was some bombshells and soft moments to help ease the strife...barely. And to help me break down the Women Tell All, I am joined by Joey's future bae - Epiphany! Together we talk about how we got to this stage in the season, the…
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In this super special and indeed super massive episode of SMTH, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jamie Kelley who has been cosplaying as Edward since basically the begining!!!! In this chat we go into detail about his love of performing, singing, costuming, and how he found himself becoming a Twilight stan and doing very screen accurate (with scr…
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I have to say after an entire season of beating us over the heads with tennis related moments, they really failed during Fantasy Suites to bring us any tennis related sex puns. According to a list of tennis terms I just googled, we could have seen talk of Forehand, Stroke, Ground Stroke, Foot Fault, and being a Receiver. I'm disappointed. But what …
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When you're here, you're FAMILY. And that's also the theme of this week of The Bachelor, as Joey got to meet his final 4's families. And surprisingly it was entertaining and interesting??? I'm grateful I got to jump on with Renise from Kickin It With Rae Podcast! We get into family dynamics, Joeys responses, where the women shined or fumbled, and s…
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What a treat this week as I got to join the lovelies over on The Rose Noire podcast to recap week 7 of Joesph's journey to get on bended knee. I truly had so much fun chatting with Claudia, Gena, Jasmine, and Monique and I know you will all love the episode! (Sorry again to them for the boner jokes.) If you're not already subscribed to their podcas…
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Welcome back to Bachelor Jojo's journey to find a woman who will accept that he's not a perfect man. A tall order considering women typically never have to settle in life or anything like that. But I digress because I am so excited for my guest this week, a long time listener first time caller by the name of Madeline! She recently when to Playa Esc…
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Welcome to Bizzaro Bach Nation folks! The male lead is a liberal who stands for equal rights- publicly! The kissing scenes are okay! The drama is not predictable! There are rumors of a gay season! insert spiny eye emoji And to help make sure I am not being totally gaslit this week, Monique of The Rose Noire Podcast joins me on the podcast! We do no…
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Welcome back to week 3 of Joseph's journey to find his Pageant Queen or Doubles Partner or Wife or Stick of butter...I don't honestly know anymore but what I do know is that this week I participated in a really fun collab with the folks at Here To Find Love Show! Julie and Kelly have a really amazing youtube and podcast channel where the cover the …
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Speak now or forver hold your peace because we are now in week 2 of Joey's journey to find a Bride. And EVERY ONE knows that the only way to do that is by making a group of women wear discount gowns and play musical chairs. And to help officiate this wedding I am joined by one of the lovelies of The Rose Noire Podcast, the hilarious Jasmine! Togeth…
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Ya'll I don't know whats shifted in our world but The Bachelor has entered into it's baby girl-ifed era with our green eyed Joey, colorful suits, and endearing editing. Only time will tell if it lands, but I swear you can taste something in the air. And to help me explore this intriguing energy, I am joined by the president of the Joey Fan Club - E…
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I hope you enjoyed your short off season (blink and you'd miss it) because the Bachelor waits for no one and Joey Graziadei's journey to find a engagement-situationship is UPON US. But before we start this season officially we must meet the THIRTY TWO single ladies ready for our curly haired soft boy and judge them purely off of a disjointed bio ca…
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Welcome back to Supermassive Twilight Hole! And speaking of holes, I am so excited to share with you the long awaited Twilight Is Gay episode! Joined by my friend and fellow queer Twihard, Kaitlyn, we explore the the themes of queerness in vampire lore, unintentional but very loud/undeniable queer coded moments in the Twilight Saga, the hot gay shi…
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I don't know how they managed to do it...but folks they did it! I HAD FUN WATCHING THE GOLDEN WEDDING! There was sweetness, humor, fun alumni, boudoir photos and strippers!! And somehow some way they made me actually believe in love again. For now at least. And to celebrate this rare occasion I am joined by bestie Connie and together we talk about …
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Have you ever wanted to know what the inner monologue of a depressed, repressed, and badly dressed vampire was? Well look no further than Midnight Sun! The long awaited book that Stephenie Meyer locked in a vault for 10 plus years before unleashing on to the fandom without notice in the early days of the Pandemic. It follows the story of the first …
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And with that we have arrived at the end of Gerry Turner's journey to find love. And for better or for worse it was quite dramatic!!!!! Perhaps the most dramatic finale ever. And to help me in spiraling about it all I am joined by writer and podcaster Natalie Franklin. Together we wonder how Gerry switched up that fast, break down the break up, app…
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Get in your pjs and set the thermostat to sixty nine, because we are about to get our pilow talk on! That's right it was seggs weeks on The Golden Bachelor and boy howdy do we have a lot to discuss! And thankfully I am joined by Dr. Diane of @backtolovedoc and together we talk about edits, Jesse Palmer blushing, the stigma of seniors being intimate…
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Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor this podcast. Welcome back to another movie review! This time we are sinking our teeth into Eclipse! And I am joined by irl friend and big twihard, Eris! Eclipse is in many ways the most important of the movies because of all the contex…
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Could this season of the Golden Bachelor get any more endearing?? I didn't think it possible until the Golden Women Tell All and all the emotional moments we got to see RUINED ME! And to hold my hand while having an emotional breakdown I am joined by the one the only Jess Ambrose of Your Mom and Dad Pod and formerly Chatty Broads! We gab, we rant, …
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Home Sweet Hometowns are upon us and omg what a thing to behold within the Golden Bachelor Universe!! Sweet, emotional, and high stakes presenting. Ever making the harsh transition to BIP to painful and jarring. But thanks to friend of the pod Limi form @takethisrosepod we were able to properly dissect it all and more. Literally cannot stop gushing…
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Welcome back to another week of Gerry's journey to find love and Kat's journey earn the show it's explicit warning. And joining me this week is the ever lovely Bekah Cloud and together we crumble under Gerry's charm and ponder what we could've seen with more time from these spectacular women. We discuss the future of the series and what a senior pa…
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Never have i ever... loved a Bachelor show more than I do the Golden Bachelor!! It is giving old classic seasons in the best way possible and im finding myslef genuinely rooting for our lead!! WHAT A CONCEPT???!!!!! To help me recap week 4 and of Gb and BIP I'm so grateful I to have been joined on the pod by actor, creator, and Bach Nation Day 1 fa…
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Congrats!! It's a piece of poop!! And it looks just like it's father aweee. But before we can name the little shit, we gotta talk week 3 of Gerry's journey to find love! And ya'll i'm truly still so obsessed it's embarrassing. The women, the genuine moments, the building drama! Give it to me!! BIP on the other hand?? You could actually give me less…
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No matter what happens we cannot, under any circumstances STOP BELIEVING. DON'T. I know you want to but it's vital, that you don' stop believing...in this franchises ability to make us feel some sort of way. And with week two that's just what they have done. Joined by writer and almost swiftie Samantha Allen, we illustrate all the ways the Golden B…
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normally i write a fun caption but i sprained my wrist sry i luv u all thank u kellie for being on the pod Follow us on insta @datecardpod Twitter @datecardpodcast Tiktok @datecardpodcast @jennawithasmile Art: Mikaela @mikaelajane Jane mikaela-jane.com Music: Jed Overly @jeddyboyjames https://www.flowcode.com/page/jeddyjames Proud podcast of So Bel…
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Date Card Pod is back and we've aged like fine wine. That's right THE TIME IS FINALLY HERE! The Golden Bachelor is upon us and we must dig into these hot older broads. I'm joined by the only person i knew who would really get in to these ladies profiles like i would, Shannon from Do The Roses Align! Together we spiral hard...which unfiltered instag…
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In honor of Forever Twilight In Forks Festival 2023 (which I'm going to!!!), I am joined on the podcast by singer songwriter, Twilight Collection Museum guide, and superfan Cherish Danae to talk about her journey and her recent move to Forks! We answer listener questions about her work in the museum which of course covers everyones favorite monster…
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What happens when you're Team Jacob and dare say it out loud on the internet? Utter bias filled chaos! Oh My!! But Twilight TikToker Corinne DiClemente has lived to the tell the tale and I am so grateful she stopped by the podcast to tell it! We talk about all the ways Jacob and the Quileute Tribe get a bad rap from Mrs. Meyer and the fandom, roast…
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Everybody say thank you to Charity Lawson! Because I swear to Neil Lanes plastic surgeon (or necromancer), that this season had IT ALL and then some. Not the least of which was perhaps the most beautiful proposal we've had in years! And to jump in deep, I am joined by the amazing Ria of Bachelor Rabbit Hole!! Together we hold hands through the most…
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Incompetent old washed up 'presidents' could not keep us from this seasons Men Yell All. And for that I am a proud to be a member of Bachelor NATION...perhaps for the first time ever! I stand for the royalty free jazz anthem and MY president Charity Lawson. And to help me get in to every wild and dramatic moment of last nights tell all, I am joined…
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This weeks episode was truly one for the books. Between shocking revelations of pasts, mid men talking about their bad relationship habits, fairy tales, and a red eye from San Diego to Fuji...there is no shortage of things to talk about. And to help me 'how does that make you feel?', I am joined by Dr. Diane Strachowski of @backtolovedoc. Together …
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And just like that friends things are getting serious. Meet the parents serious! And while it might seem like a fast season in some ways, it undeniable that Charity has DONE THE DAMN THING WELL. This top 4 brings the heat, the romance, and as previews show the drama as well. And to help me breakdown all we learned about the remaining men, I am join…
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You might be asking 'where the hell have you been loca??!!' and you'd be right to ask that hahah because I took a month off from dropping an episode but we can just blame a new job search and Taylor Swift for that!! But I'll just say this, it's worth the wait becasue this episode is really special! I am joined by my friend and artist, Ella Talkin, …
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With great honor I present perhaps my favorite ever solo episode ever. insert Stefan from SNL voice IT HAS EVERYTHING: a personalized Eras Tour breakdown, Barbie movie thoughts, Bachelorette week 5 recap, a ghost from our past jumping out at me, promises to throw men smaller than me, and so much more! Follow us on insta @datecardpod Twitter @dateca…
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Grab your flannels and rain boots babes we're going to The Pacific Northwest in hopes of helping Miss Charity find the love of her life. And don't worry it wont be a Sasquatch (no spoilers please!) To help me forage for store bought pine nuts, I'm joined by Shannon from Do The Roses Align!!Together we talk about Gerry (who's a Leo btw!) and his fut…
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Hey Barbies and Kens and Skippers everyone in between! Date Card is back with another breakdown of this season of The Bachelorette! Where our very own life size Barbie, Charity lawson, is on a mission much like Margot Robbie....to find the true meaning of life. Or to be truly bothered by a bunch of hairless buff Kens with suspicious fashion and ego…
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Welcome back friends to week two of Charity's journey to find love! This week the men must prove their love through many silly challenges that involve traumatizing the various gathered live audiences and maybe Yosef's daughter. We also see some romance building while other men fall victim to egos and jealousy. But hey at least if Charity ever loses…
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And just like that...the gals are back! And boy do they all have some issues to UNPACK. But never fear two of your fave podcast gals (Jenna and Torry from RTBP pod) have also teamed up to help them and in the end learn a little about themselves along the way. Sex and The City has a way of doing that doesn't it?? So grab a fresh cosmo, and hold on t…
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It's the premiere week for our captivating Charity Lawson, and not only is it raining men...it actually rained. In LA. It's all good no climate change worries to see here. But what you will want to check in on is THIS episode of the podcast, where I am joined by Bachelor commentator and dear friend of the podcast and Ash Talks Bach. Together we dis…
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Oh baby the BACH IS BACK! And so is everyones favorite (that's probably not true) gay recap podcast is back as well! Did you miss me? How could you honestly, I never shut the fuck up. And I won't start shutting up now because CHARITY IS THE BACHELORETTE and I'm so excited!! Honestly she deserves the world and I can't wait to see how her season unfo…
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In this very magical episode of Date Card pod, I am joined by one of the star of The Ultimatum: Queer Love...the one the only Tiff Der. Together we talk about their feelings about the show, how they got cast, behind the scenes hot goss, and then we discuss their relationship and break up with their ex and their healing journey. We dive into their t…
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One week after the finale of The Ultimatum: Queer Love AND I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. And let's be honest you're obsessed too. Who could blame you with all of the cast fully doing their post show shit on instagram. Like I mean. Oooof. So I begged Shannon from Do The Roses Align to jump on and break down all that's been happening with the cast…
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Welcome back to Supermassive Twilight Hole the podcast for Twihards by a Twihard. And in this very special episode my friend Torry and I time travel back to 2009 to the begining of everyone's favorite celebrity ship. The one the only Robsten aka Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. We reflect on how this relationship made us feel, how the media pl…
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Let's all hold hands as we sit here together processing the finale and reunion of The Ultimatum: Queer Love and all it gave us and all that it left us wanting for. It truly ran the gambit from shocking engagements, dramatic break ups, and call outs to pretty smooth rocks. And to hold my hand through all of it, I am joined by Tiff's friend Natasha S…
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In this, our first real episode of SMTH I do what I've honestly feels like 109 years in the making. To review the 2008 indie emo film directed by Cathrine Hardwick called TWILIGHT. Never heard of it??? Well 'you can google it'...right after you also google 'adreniline rush' because some wierd pale teenager stopped a van from crushing you and is now…
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Oh gays what are we going to do??!! The Ultimatum: Queer Love is exposing all of our gay secrets and agenda notes!! But if it helps some straights find the light, I'm all here for it. And to help me find my own light in the midst of the 4 most jam packed episodes of TV i have ever consumed, friend of the podcast Olivia hopped on! Together we actual…
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Hi Gay! I'm so happy you're here (maybe queer) and I can't wait for you to listen in on my first ever recap of The Ultimatum: Queer Love! Because ya'll it might be the best reality television I have ever watched. LOVE STORIES. DRAMA. TOPS. BOTTOMS. OH MY! I'm so honored to be joined by queer writer, musician, podcaster, and creator of @queerkidsstu…
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