Here’s a scary fact about adulthood. We stop asking questions. We lose the playful curiosity and creativity that we had as children. And it’s a shame. Questions are gateways to our deepest desires, insecurities and dreams. Reflecting on a deep question takes us one step closer to a life well-lived. Each week, we’ll ponder and debate one of life’s thorniest questions. We’ll explore ambition, careers, money, relationships, productivity and psychology — all in the pursuit of living an Examined ...
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There are many people that I’ve met, or would like to meet, that I think of as successful. Not all of these people are financially rich, though some are. Some lead lives of adventure while others lead lives of simplicity at home. Some have found ways to make good money with their own art and creativity. Others make a fine income with what we would call “normal” jobs. Nevertheless, I still think of these people as successful because they have built the life they WANT to live instead of a life ...
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Could the secret to success be embracing your envy? Joe Hudson reveals how comparison breeds misery and stifles growth and how you can transform self-abuse into self-acceptance while maintaining your ambition. [Episode 63] Joe Hudson is coaches executives in Silicon Valley. Learn more about Joe: • Joe's X/Twitter • The Art of Accomplishment Website…
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How to ditch “productivity guilt [Khe Hy]
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A common struggle for high-achievers is the need to make every moment productive. As a result, rest and leisure are accompanied by guilt. Internal Family Systems (or "IFS") is a therapy approach that will help you navigate perfectionism, relentless drive and obsession with optimizing everything. [Episode 62] —- JOIN OUR GROUP COACHING COHORTS: Are …
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Why is meditation important [Cara Lai]
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Meditation is good for you. Like eating your broccoli, we get it. But beyond stress-relief and cognitive clarity, how can the practice bring you closer to truly enjoying your life? We discuss how to get started, getting to know your insecurities and how “spiritual bypass” can undo some of the benefits. [Episode 61] Cara Lai is a meditation teacher.…
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Should you buy an unsexy business? [Ben Jasper]
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Many people dream of making millions as a hedge fund manager on Wall Street. But it’s an absolute grind. Ben Jasper did this for 20 years at some of the world’s largest hedge funds before saying, “Enough.” At 40 years old, Ben bought an unsexy business and started his second career. He had to borrow a ton of money from the SBA and put up a personal…
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What have I learned in 45 years? [Khe Hy]
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I just turned 45 years old, which means I've lived 60.3% of my actuarial lifespan. I have way less hair, but at least I've held on to my six pack. I left Wall Street so that I could have time freedom, raise my kids and surf every day, and I learned a few lessons along the way. I’ll share 45 of them on workaholism, borderline alcoholism, how to cope…
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Should you bet your life on crypto? [Nat Eliason]
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Imagine you’re about to have your first kid. But your career is muddling along and you don’t have a dependable source of income. You need a plan to grow your wealth. Quickly. And it happens to be the start the pandemic where ALL crypto projects are going gangbusters. Writer and serial entrepreneur Nat Eliason saw an opportunity to get rich and hatc…
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What do we get wrong about happiness? [Stephanie Harrison]
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There’s a simple playbook for happiness. One we’ve been taught since we were kids. Study hard, get a good job, climb the ladder, make a bunch of money and then you’ll be happy. So why do so many of us feel unfulfilled, lost and rudderless? This week we speak with Stephanie Harrison, an expert on the psychology of happiness and the author of New Hap…
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How do you develop social intelligence? [Khe Hy]
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IQ gets all the attention. It’s the raw brain power that wows us. But EQ, or emotional intelligence, might be even more powerful. It provides the finesse to interact with peers, confidence to pitch new investors and charisma to recruit top talent. IQ is something we’re born with. But what about EQ? In this episode, we’ll discuss seven ways to devel…
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How do you build a lifestyle business? [Kevin Espiritu]
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From playing online poker to pay for college, to starting a gardening lifestyle business that turned into a $40 million empire, Kevin Espiritu’s journey is jaw-dropping. He provides a candid look at his obsessive personality trait that fueled his success, and discusses his changing relationship with money as his business scaled. We cover following …
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How do you get off the hedonic treadmill? [Geraldine DeRuiter]
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Author Geraldine DeRuiter reached the dizzying heights of publishing her first book, then experienced the more muted satisfaction of her second. She’s grappled with the realization that external achievements can't resolve core belief of not being "good enough." We contemplate the limitations of external accomplishments in solving our deepest insecu…
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When I was 22 years old, I worked 100 hours a week as an investment banker on Wall Street. I daydreamed about the day when I could retire, move to the beach and surf every day. When the board meeting would become the board meeting. That day came at age 35. I didn't retire or hit my "number." But I had enough to make a bold pivot and say, "Okay, now…
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How do I get started with AI? [Dan Shipper]
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Do you feel like AI is a solution in search of a problem? I used to feel the same way. ChatGPT was basically a glorified search engine for me. I'd ask it things like "how do I make the fluffiest pancakes?" But after talking to AI expert Dan Shipper, I realized I was just scratching the surface. Dan showed me how to use AI to negotiate with vendors,…
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Death is scary. We don't want to think about the infinite unknown. And being a speck not more than star dust. But what if contemplating death is the way you live a fuller, more purposeful and happy life? [Episode 50] Maura is the founder of Hello Mortal a platform dedicated to familiarizing us with the great unknown.Learn more about Maura: • Maura'…
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How’s life after Wall Street? [Khe Hy]
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2015. German Chancellor Angela Merkel was the Person of the Year, Instagram Stories didn’t exist and Uptown Funk was the most popular song in the country. And I left Wall Street with a newborn daughter and no real plan. In the past 9 years, I’ve learned about money, envy, simplicity and relationships. And I want to share all of it with you. [Episod…
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Does money ruin kids? [Michael Perry]
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Imagine being unable to afford a cup of coffee in your 20s. Then being able to afford the entire coffee shop in your 30s. Some “money issues” may arise — particularly for the next generation. Michael Perry had a big exit to Shopify but describes his struggles with self-hatred, not showing up well as a dad and helping his kids become resilient and k…
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Do you belong in an open relationship? [Suzi Sosa]
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5% of Americans are in open relationships. I used to think that this world was for hot 20-somethings frolicking around house parties. Whether it’s open marriages, swinging or polyamory — the taboo is lifting and trend is definitely coming to a gentrified neighborhood near you. What’s most fascinating? For these relationships to succeed, you need a …
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My wife and I did a guided psychedelic journey together. It was fully-assisted and we put on sleeping masks and went inward. It showed me so much about my emotional distancing, inner critic, people pleasing tendencies and why deep inside I’m nothing but a squishy loveball. [Episode 46] —- JOIN OUR GROUP COACHING COHORTS: Are you looking to ask deep…
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The traditional way of getting a great job is being turned upside down. Social media, personal brands and a digital portfolio of work now play a key role in landing your dream job. Today’s guest has harnessed both paths. He’s a Columbia MBA grad starting a new division within RobinHood. He’s also the world’s greatest LinkedIn shitposter. You’ll lea…
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How do you come up with business ideas? [Steph Smith]
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The Internet has created a gold mine of opportunity. You can use it to find your next job. Or business idea. The crazy part is that people are telling you — through Google searches, Reddit Posts and social media — what they actually care about. And you can use that information to come up become an idea machine. [Episode 44] Steph Smith is a growth …
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I’ve been told I look Brazilian, Greek and Hawaiian. I relished it because I didn’t want to be called Asian. Especially not in 80s and 90s, where the stereotypes of docile nerds (who like math and kung fu) reigned supreme. Now at age 44, not only are Asian men having a “moment” — I’ve gone inwards to reevaluate my identity, heritage and how this ha…
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Going to therapy usually evokes laying on a couch and talking endlessly about your childhood. But what if all the stress and healing are located in your body and could be felt and accessed through your inner monologue. That’s the approach of Internal Family Systems (“IFS”) which helps you tap into your various “parts,” like your Inner Critic, Perfe…
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What is unconventional parenting? [Ted and Franzi Gonder]
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Do you take parenting at face value? Obviously, no — but when was the last time you questioned the assumptions? In this interview, we discuss the “unconventional approach” to parenting. One that doesn’t helicopter, that recognizes that the parents themselves are flawed and focuses on raising emotionally resilient kids. [Episode 41] Ted and Franzi G…
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What did 10 years of parenthood teach me? [Khe Hy]
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I left my "peak earning" years to focus on fatherhood. The financial sacrifice was huge but 10 years later I test to see if this was the right decision. I cover trade-offs, parenting when you're rich and how to instill grit and resilience into your kids. [Episode 40] References from the show: • One day, you’re no longer their favorite person• Are a…
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How do you get rich (while having a day job)? [Noah Kagan]
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I got entrepreneurship backwards. I thought it was all about writing business plans and doing market research. Serial Entrepreneur Noah Kagan sets me straight and drops wisdom bombs for anyone looking to leave their 9-to-5. We discuss facing rejection, understanding customer needs, to embracing the courage to ask and push boundaries. [Episode 39] N…
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Are ambitious parents bad parents? [Amanda Goetz]
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Ambition is a good thing, right? It’s your ambition that creates opportunity. It grows your income. It makes you visible and relevant. But is it also insatiable? We explore the dark side of ambition: burnout, broken relationships and ignorance. [Episode 38] Amanda is a serial founder, brand builder, creator and single mother of three. Learn more ab…
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I’ve invested a ton of money into coaching. ($163,900 to be specific.) I’ve used coaching to face my insecurities, overcome scarcity thinking, become a better father and husband and make sense of my purpose on this earth. Khe provides an in-depth analysis of his experience with 12 different coaches. [Episode 37] Listen to Khe get coached by: • His …
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The economy is soaring. Stocks are at all time highs. Inflation has been tamed. Yet young people are angry and anxious. This episode isn’t about “OK Boomer” inter-generational warfare — it’s about trying to understand the angst driven by economic inequality, the blowback from the “attention economy” and social media-induced loneliness. [Episode 36]…
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When you think of creativity, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s a disheveled Earnest Hemingway writing in a cafe in Spain. Or a prolific artist like Beyoncé who churns out hit after hit and sells out stadiums. But every single human being is a creative being. Creativity is about how you solve problems, how you put yourself out there and how you transl…
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It’s bonus season. Are you thinking of making that big move? And finally walking away from your cushy, high-paying job? Khe gives you a preview of everything you’d expect including the marital strife, the overspending and the “identity earthquake.” [Episode 34] References from the show:• Making an Angel Investment in Yourself• Why Really Rich Peopl…
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What are your money rules? [Adam Katz]
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As your earnings go up, your ability to enjoy money should increase as well. And you should worry less. Yet somehow, high-earners still struggle to do both. Adam Katz is a wealth advisor at Corient. Khe and his wealth manager discuss Die With Zero, using leverage, return on hassle and the myth of “The Number.” [Episode 33 ]Disclosure: Adam is Khe’s…
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What's your attachment strategy? [Jess Morey]
1:09:19
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The first 3 years of your life deeply impact how you interact with the world around you. We develop attachment strategies to feel seen, safe and loved. How do these behaviors impact us as adults? We discuss the implications on talk therapy, healing through meditation and how to apply attachment theory to parenthood. [Episode 32] Jess Morey is a med…
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Are you a post-achievement professional? [Khe Hy]
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Are you a Post-Achievement Professional? For starters, this doesn’t mean that you no longer care about striving and achieving great things in your career. Instead it’s a redefining of your relationship with Achievement — a reckoning of sorts that it can only take you so far in the pursuit of fulfillment and happiness. --- I’m leading a salon (fancy…
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How do you separate self-worth from net worth? [Manisha Thakor]
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Playing the “net worth” game puts you on the never-ending hamster wheel of never hitting “enough.” In this episode we look at the myth of The Number, how unworthiness drives achievement and how to rebuild your identity outside of your bank account. [Episode 30] Manisha Thakor is a seasoned financial executive in wealth management. She’s the author …
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What does healthy masculinity look like? [Scott Haber]
1:06:47
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Are men becoming more in touch with their feelings? Or are they going the way of Andrew Tate’s brash aggression (and the accompanying vile)? We discuss how repressing anger impacts relationships and how fully feeling emotions reveals core wounds and the ability to set boundaries. [Episode 29] Scott is an executive coach who teaches emotional and re…
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How’s business (in a terrible economy)? [Khe Hy]
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2023 was the year everything went wrong. Rising interest rates, return to office, a shaky consumer and the collapse of “doing things online.” After entering the year overconfident (and with too big of a team) we go humbled. And it rattled my confidence… yet me managed to turn things around. [Episode 28] —- JOIN OUR GROUP COACHING COHORTS: Are you l…
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What makes money so emotional? [Joe Hudson]
1:13:21
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We worry about money. When there’s not enough, we’re scared of the catastrophe. When there’s too much — there’s always someone with more. Could it be that our rational brains can’t fully grasp the emotional complexities of money? What if worry, anxiety and comparison are just representations of our unmet desires? [Episode 27] Joe Hudson is a coach,…
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Is weed bad for you? [Tara Schuster]
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One of the most common complaints from high-performers? “I can’t turn off my brain.” So we turn to doomscrolling, alcohol and other substances. Tara Schuster used weed to cope — until she blacked out and left a terrifying voice message for her therapist. [Episode 26] Tara is a former executive at Comedy Central (Key and Peele, David Spade) and 2x b…
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What does 5,912 networking meetings look like? [Khe Hy]
1:10:24
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Networking gets a bad rap. It’s transactional, icky and insincere. In this solo episode, Khe reimagines the entire networking experience focusing it on service, curiosity and genuine care. And how he kept up the unimaginable pace of 1 meeting a day for 25 years. [Episode 25] If you’re looking to implement the CRM system check out the Life Operating…
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Are we overthinking parenting? [Wil Reynolds]
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As a parent, you’re constantly nervous about raising spoiled, entitled and elitist kids. And if you're from a modest upbringing and have found success as an adult — it’s hard to recreate an environment of grit and resilience for your kids. We discuss exposing children to folks living in poverty, why “traveling” doesn’t give perspective and how to t…
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Do you need a personal brand? [Shanté Cofield]
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[Ep. 23] You meet someone, they Google you. Are the results your personal brand? In a world where everyone is jousting for jobs, clients and partners — how important is your online presence? We discuss getting over the cringe, establishing thought leadership, playing the long game and putting the “social” back into social media. Shanté Cofield is a…
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What does a semi-retirement look like? [Khe Hy]
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[Ep. 22] If you work 40 hours a week on your own terms, are you semi-retired? A solo episode where Khe describes “a day in the life.” He covers spiritual practice, being pre-diabetic, his struggles with chasing fame, an update on no drinking — and the mystery behind the abs. —- JOIN OUR GROUP COACHING COHORTS: Are you looking to ask deep, introspec…
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How do you define success? [Kevin Dahlstrom]
1:03:58
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[Ep. 21] Owning your time. Living close to nature. Rock climbing daily. Do you have to wait until “retirement” to enjoy these? Or can you uproot your family and move to your mountains in your 40s. We discuss the importance of where you live, opting out of status games, millionaires with no hobbies, visualizing your success, being a girl dad, peggin…
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How do you walk away from good money? [Sarah Chappell]
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[Ep. 20] What happens when making money starts making you unhappy? You might dislike the activity. Or be bored. We discuss the “sunk cost fallacy,” the Identity Earthquake, discovering your aliveness and rebelling against what the gurus and textbooks say you “should” be doing. Sarah Chappell is a writer, strategist, and coach. Learn more about Sara…
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Is achievement culture killing our kids? [Khe Hy]
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[Ep. 19] High-performing teenage kids are considered an “at risk” group. Yup, they’re as likely as prone to substance abuse and depression as kids living in poverty or with incarcerated parents. How did we end up here? Don’t we just want what’s best for our kids? We look at this through the lens of parents and covering the role of status preservati…
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Is productivity a waste of time? [Nat Eliason]
1:19:21
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[Ep. 18] Productivity is sold as the silver bullet to all our modern problems. Do a bit more. A bit faster. Squeeze in that last email. But what if productivity (and the entire self-help industry) is built on a shaky promise? What if it’s just distracting us from lives devoid of meaning or the inability to understand what makes us come alive? Nat E…
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How do you overcome scarcity? [Paco de Leon]
1:04:04
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[Ep. 17] Are you scared that you’re one mistake from losing it all? We all experience some form of the scarcity mindset. This mindset warps money into our self-worth, our “enough-ness,” safety and security amidst the real (and imagined) risks out there. We look at climate change, our childhood numbing ourselves with consumerism/substances, childhoo…
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Why I'm retiring from productivity [Khe Hy]
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[Ep. 16] I became obsessed with productivity content in my 20s. Being “productive” was an accelerant for my career, finances and owning my time. But productivity falls short on teaching you what it means to lead a “well-lived life.” As we launch our last productivity course EVER, I share the entire course for free as a podcast episode. If you’re st…
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Should you listen to podcasts on 2x? [Jonny Miller]
1:15:38
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[Ep. 15] Why does listening to podcasts on “Chipmunk Mode” (aka 2x speed) feel so unhealthy — yet so attractive? We discuss the fight-or-flight tax, chronic stress debt, using alcohol to take the edge off, unhealthy career ambition and if aliveness and success are a zero-sum game. Jonny is a podcaster, instructor, coach and dog dad who’s passionate…
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What's the secret to good sex? [Natassia Miller]
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Ep. 14 What’s really happening between the sheets? A s*xologist answers juicy questions about our sex lives. We cover the myth of 0rgasms during intercourse, s*x toys, performance anxiety, body issues, watching (ethical) p0rn with your partner, open marriages, swinging and how you can keep the passion as you age. Learn more about Natassia: Follow N…
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[Ep. 13] Khe tackles his 26 year history of drinking in this solo episode. You’ll hear about “Blackout Island,” being a functional heavy drinker, his favorite substances, the emotions he’s avoiding, drinking-related problems and his eponymous “Khe-garitas” (aka Skinny Margaritas). References from the show: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for D…
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