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The Only Fancast

Kat & Kyle Morck

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Every Tuesday, husband-and-wife duo Kat & Kyle Morck give the fancast treatment to a different television show. A television show that they've never seen before, and know nothing about. Shondaland? Campy sci-fi? K-drama? Wings? As long as we haven't seen it before, we'll fancast the hell out of it. It's like when you turn on a mid-season episode of a show you know nothing about and just revel in your own bafflement.
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Wowsers Bowsers! This is just a real nice episode, folks. It's a warm hug on a cold day. A lightly-scented cloud of gorgeousness. We learned that marbles can make you feel optimistic about the human condition and that nice vowel sounds can brighten your day. Join us for a 29-minute break from the cruelty and bleakness of this postmodern life. Feel …
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Kat thought it would be good to title this week's episode "Quality Over Quantico," but Kyle's episode title - a reference to a 1998 made-for-TV movie - won out instead. Sometimes there's just no right answer! Sometimes we are all of us losers! Welcome to Quantico! Show: Quantico Season 2, Episode 18: "KUMONK" Music: Drunkin Desert by LED (http://le…
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This week on softeyed superteens, Clark Kent makes a friend, learns about poetry, and asks an adult for help! It's no wonder that Superman is the archetype that launched the golden age of comics. He's the man of steel; he's the last son of Krypton; he's our big blue boy scout and we love him very much. Welcome to Smallville! Show: Smallville Season…
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This week, we were initiated into the divine secrets of the YA YA sisterhood. Get it? Because YA stands for young adult, and we read part of a young adult novel, but then also what I said up there is the name of a movie. You get it. Anyway, we read some chapters from Apprentice: Book 2 of the Black Mage series. Podcasts about books are coming into …
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This week Robert Rodriguez took us gently by the hands and led us down to The Temple, where Lucha Libre reigns supreme. We saw some good quality wrestlefolk do wrestlecrimes at each other until we became certified wrestlexperts. And we loved every minute of it. It's Lucha Underground! Show: Lucha Underground Season 1, Episode 22: "Mask Vs. Mask" Mu…
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Yowza yowza yowza! This week we're expanding our horizons and becoming fans of a movie we've never seen. And still haven't seen. It's... difficult to explain. Take our hands and walk with us down the Santa Monica Pier. We're going on a journey together, and none of us will be quite the same when we return. Welcome to Dance Dance Destitution. Movie:…
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In an age of digital media, it's important to remember the role that serious journalism plays in a free society. Print is dying, and with it, the bastions of creditable reporting are slowly decaying into obscurity. The influence of an ethical Fourth Estate provides essential checks and balances against an increasingly authoritarian government. As f…
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Teen Wolf can't be tied down by your rules. Teen Wolf doesn't need to listen to teachers or parents because he's a rebel. Teen Wolf is gonna smoke weed under a bridge with his pack, Mom, and there's nothing you can do to stop him. The olds just don't get it, but we here at The Only Fancast do. Teens just wanna make dank memes, get followers on snap…
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I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a quality financial manager, I would call her. Back in 1995 Skee-Lo could only wish for these things, but twenty years later, HBO has made them a reality. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is here to grant your three wishes, Skee-Lo. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is here to heal America. It'…
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There's a new show on the CW, and wouldn't you know it, it's based on the adventures of everyone's favorite redheaded teen scamp, Archie Andrews! That's right, this icon of wholesome American teenhood is finally hitting the small screen. And don't we all need a dose of that innocent, hygienic optimism that Archie Comics is famous for? It's such a r…
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Hey, welcome to our cool neighborhood bar! Come meet our cool new neighborhood friends. They're some of America's most beloved stars; Dr. Horrible, Buffy's Friend, Mr. Sarah Marshall, and America's Nasty Dad. Oh, and there's also Ted. We don't really understand why he's here, but everyone else seems like they love him, so just play it cool. It's Ho…
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No, it's not that Full House. What are you, some kind of ignorant yokel? This week we here at The Only Fancast packed our steamer trunks and sailed off into international waters. We crossed the shining seas and alighted on the shores of South Korea, where we found Full House Take 2, our new favorite show. We marveled at Man-ok's and Tae-ik's hairst…
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Pour yourself a Djinn & Tonic, because it's time for one of NBC's primetime freakshows. BEHOLD the appalling fashion of James Spader. MARVEL at the horrifying mish-mash of unconnected plot threads. GAZE IN HORROR at the return of the objectionable oubliette. Come one, come all, to the museum of living curiosities that IS.... The Blacklist! Show: Th…
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Hey gal pals, put on your sexiest Jimmy Choos, grab your mimosas, and gather 'round the brunch table while we give you the scoop on what it's like to be a single woman in the big city! I... oh gosh, who am I kidding. That one sentence was all the privileged white woman stereotyping I could squeeze out of my poor, shriveled, scruffy little brain. We…
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If you've come to The Only Fancast this week looking for some lighthearted goofs, we're sorry. Maybe skip this one. We devote the entire show this week to a very serious analytical dissection of cartoons. We get earnest. We get businesslike. It can't all be fun and games, folks; you've gotta take something seriously in this life, and in the Kat & K…
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Welcome to our haunted podcast! We had a slumber party with Ryan Murphy and he told us all his spooky scary tales of hotel horror, and now we're here to pass that on to you. There's vampyrs and murders and flappers galore! So settle in and get ready for your Friday Night Frights, because it's time for American Horror Story: Hotel. Show: American Ho…
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This time around we sat down with the intent to discuss The Flash. But just like you can't stare directly at the sun, it turns out that you can't talk directly about The Flash if you value your health and sanity. The result is 2 Earth-2 Furious, the podcast that'll make you say, "huh, this is their most incoherent one yet." Charge up the Magnetar &…
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This week, we tossed some salad, scrambled some eggs, and traveled on back to 1990s Seattle for a check-in with our favorite radio psychiatrist. That's right; it's Frasier time. He's a bumbling but well-intentioned dad who's just trying to do right by his family.... Wait, sorry. Wrong sitcom. Let me start over. He's a pretentious and insufferable d…
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1991: the Soviet Union falls. Apartheid ends. Dances With Wolves wins best picture. And America looks searchingly into its own psyche and asks: "What if sitcom, but dinosaurs?" This week, Kat & Kyle put on their best Baby Sinclair voices and talk you through the most buck-wild televisual experience of your life. Show: Dinosaurs Season 3, Episode 14…
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This week we peered the Disney vaults and spied the dark shapes that lurk beneath. Turns out: it's just a lot of smooches. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if an ABC executive made a TV show out of their teenage fanfiction? And what it would be like if someone made a podcast about that? Welcome, friends, to Frankly, My Disney, I Don't G…
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There may be several Farscape podcasts on the internet already, but we are the only fancast where you can witness the delight of two spouses meeting The Spacestronaut, the True Muppet, the Red Squid Boy & The Extra from Cats for the very first time. Seriously though, we didn't even realize that Farscape was so popular. We're sorry. The points are r…
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This week, we were 2 woke girls watching 2 Broke Girls, and BOY OH BOY did those two things not go together. Presenting perhaps the least-woke sitcom on air in the year of our lord 2017, Kat and Kyle dive deep into the Nightmare Realm and emerge more broken and bitter than either of them expected. By the way, sorry for the not-so-great audio qualit…
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